Caged Skylark
by QuinnLark
Summary: Broken Wings Chronicles #1 Journalist Bella Swan is assigned to work with the new guy, Jacob Black, on her own entertainment featured article. There is no way she can turn it down; it's the dream of a lifetime. However, Bella didn't bargain for the beautiful man she would work with, nor Edward—the sexy lead singer of the band they are to follow. Will she fly or come crashing down?
1. Opener

**Thank you, a million times over, to starpower31 and hammondgirl! Please enjoy the edited chapters. Thanks!**

**Warning: Story contains some marijuana use, possibly other drug use, and alcohol abuse. Please be advised. **

**I own nothing Twilight, except all the books (which I've read numerous times). No copyright infringement is intended. The characters are Stephenie Meyer's but this story is my own. **

"Opener"

BPOV

I tried to stifle my yawn at the monotony of the editor's babbling; I really did. The man's breath was terrible and I could actually smell the onion bagel wafting across the large mahogany desk, straight into my nostrils and probably killing brain cells as he spoke. Attempting subtlety, I rested my chin in my hand. The aroma of lavender scented lotion was a pleasant exchange for the stench of old onions and stale coffee.

"Miss Swan," Richard Varner snapped, drawing my thoughts off his breath and back to the meeting. He had such a way about him, like an overbearing math teacher who demanded your full attention at all times, and I certainly never liked it. We had managed to butt heads numerous times in my few years at the paper. I tended to refer to him as_ Dick_ in my head, though I just had to make certain to not let it slip in the middle of one of the _Office Space _rampages that my mind often wandered to.

"Miss Swan?" Again he paused, impatient and not at all entertained.

Clearing my throat abruptly, I finally responded, "Yes, sir, Mr. Varner?"

"Well I'm glad you cared to join our meeting, here." He snorted in annoyance. "Starting next month, you'll be covering a year spread on an up-and-coming band; traveling with them throughout their tour. All the focus will be on the evolution of the band and hopefully their rise to fame—"

"Wait... Traveling? Who are they?" I interrupted him and received a warning glare in response. He was not a man to be interrupted.

"I don't have the name of the band yet or any of the information on the members, so I need you to finish all your other assignments before delving into this one. I'm only giving you a heads up so you can make arrangements, since you'll be out of town. You're leaving in three weeks.

"This just came down to me from the top and you were mentioned by name. There is a list of cities for the tour that I'll have Anna get to you in the next few days. Now, I would appreciate if you'd take advantage of this excellent opportunity and view this as a privilege." I could easily read between the lines of what he hadn't voiced—_I cannot imagine who the fuck would want you for this job._

Slowly, _Dick_ sat his heavy, very expensive pen down and raised his eyes back to mine. "Congratulations, Miss Swan. You are now a featured columnist."

My mind started reeling. _Me?_ They were making me a featured columnist? Dreams from the past years flooded my memory; all the waiting, anticipating, kissing ass and grabbing coffee had finally paid off. _Yes!_

My utter joy must have been apparent on my face, since _Dick_ rolled his eyes at me. He, obviously, did not care too much for me or my joy. Luckily, my employment did not rely on my tumultuous relationship with the man.

_The Seattle Herald_ was one of the most prestigious and progressive newspapers on the west coast. It just so happened to be owned by the father of one of my sorority sisters at U-Dub. The Hale family tended to take care of their own, and I thanked my lucky stars I was included in that bunch. Rosalie saw to it that her daddy dearest hired me the day after our college graduation, and I interned here for an entire year following.

I took a deep breath to steady the heady feeling coursing through my bloodstream. _This is fantastic_! "Chief, thank you so much. This is so unexpected!"

Of course, I didn't miss his mumbled, "Tell me about it..."

"Um... I'll start making arrangements right away," I said, standing. I silently thanked whatever deity was smiling down on me that I had the flexibility to do something so amazing for the next year. I couldn't imagine anyone with a family or in a relationship attempting this kind of assignment.

As I turned to leave, I came into firm contact with the most muscled chest I had ever had the pleasure of meeting. I raised my eyes to the darkest brown eyes. My ridiculous blush bloomed in full pink splendor all over my face, the heat blazing my skin._ Oh, God._

The owner of the dark brown eyes and solid mass of muscles reached his hand out to steady me. He was beautiful in all his dark brown-eyed, black hair and reddish skinned glory. The black t-shirt he wore clung tightly to his biceps. I felt the strangest urge to reach out and lick them.

"Whoa there, Swan." The Russet Giant knew my name? Now I was at a loss; I hated feeling confused. The look on my face obviously said as much.

Varner stepped in quickly, explaining the sudden appearance of the striking man in front of me. "This is Jacob Black," the Chief informed me. "He's actually going to be _stuck with you_ this next year as an assistant and photographer for your pieces."

I ignored the snide remark. _I get _him _for a whole year, all to myself? _Right then I knew that deity I had thanked had certainly been Aphrodite. _"You rock lady!"_ I silently prayed my thanks up to her.

I pulled my focus back, front and center. He's to be my assistant _and _photographer? "Kind of a one stop shop, aren't you?" I blurted out. The words flew out of my mouth before I even had a chance to lecture my stupid little self for my lack of filter.

Mercifully, the Russet Giant, also known as Jacob Black, shook his gorgeous head with a smirk. "I suppose so. I just got hired on here, so I'm sort of at their mercy." He stuck his huge paw of a hand right out to me. I grasped it tightly. _Mmm, warm. _I really hoped I had not said that aloud. "Jake Black. Pleasure to meet you, Miss Swan."

"Bella. Bella Swan. Welcome to the _Herald_." I cleared my throat, attempting to brush my thoughts aside and sound like a professional and polite journalist as opposed to the sex-starved girl I felt like.

His smirk was now a full-fledged grin. Jake snaked his hand into his jacket pocket and pulled out a business card. "Well, this is my number and email. Call me, text. Whatever you need, I'm here to help."

Glancing down at the card, I made a mental note to put the number into my phone as soon as I got back to my desk. Figuring I should do the same for him, I pulled out my own card from my notepad. I placed it in his outstretched hand as I scooted around him and out the door. I paused slightly and called back over my shoulder, "I like a grande, skinny, caramel macchiato in the mornings. See you tomorrow."

I really hope he didn't think I was a terrible bitch for testing out my boss-mode, straight away. Damn, though, he was way too gorgeous for my own good.

The last few years of my life taught me to get my head in the business by steering clear of men. I had already made the mistake of letting romance and sex interfere with my job and had paid dearly for that error. James had pretended to love me, yet had taken the first chance he had to step on my toes and get what he wanted from his career.

It could have been me in New York right now, writing for the _Times_. Okay, maybe _I _wouldn't have ended up writing for the _New York Times_, but that did not mean James deserved it. They had offered a free-lance position, with the possibility of a placement at the end of a two-year term. He knew I was applying for it; he sat beside me as I arranged the portfolio of articles I had written. One moment I was crossing my fingers in hopes of getting that shot and the next James was packing up his desk and flashing me a peace sign as that taxi drove away. He had never even told me that he had wanted it—and I never heard from him again.

So, no matter how handsome Jacob Black might be, I could not let my guard down. If I did, I would be much to close to a line I never wanted to cross again. No, I had my goals and aspirations and no man would stand in my way again.

wwwww

The next morning was its typical blur of activity. I blasted eighties music in my studio apartment as I danced around, singing into my hairbrush. It really was the only way to get myself pepped up for a long day of staring at a computer and researching.

After a healthy breakfast of a banana-strawberry smoothie, I stood in the bathroom brushing my teeth. I tried brainstorming the best ways to handle this new entertainment piece I would be working on. As a columnist, I really had free reign over the course it would take. The notion of freedom was invigorating after years writing blogs about household cleaning products and doing research for other writers. While I never took my job as a blogger for granted, I had much greater potential; I was ready to prove myself.

After pulling on my warm, bright blue tights, red shirt-dress and brown boots, I headed for the door. I had a typical hipster style—from my large framed and quite unnecessary glasses to my cruiser bicycle. Even though Seattle was chilly this time of year, it was not snowy, so riding a bike to work still made a lot of sense for me; I didn't mind the rain one bit. When I lived in Phoenix, it was so dry and hot all the time that I learned to fancy any kind of weather differences I could get my hands on. Truly, I loved the refreshing way the air blew through my hair while I rode in to work.

When I reached my desk, I noticed a warm cup of coffee resting directly in the center. _Smart man._ At least he learned quickly. Perhaps I would be able to work with the gorgeous man-beast after all. I wondered what he would look like out on the rainy streets, in this torrential downpour, wearing a white button-down. _Mmm..._

"Miss Swan?" Jake's voice spun me around quickly, as if it had arms and hands all of its own. I guess that was my subconscious feeling guilty for lusting after my new assistant.

"Um... Jake... Yes... Um... Thanks for my coffee. I could use it. I need some warming up after that ride in the rain." Yes, I knew I was rambling.

Jake's smile was pure and genuine, filled with pride. "Absolutely, Miss Swan."

Okay, maybe I had a year or two on this kid, but the use of my last name was going to make me feel like an old lady before it was even lunchtime. "It's Bella. No more 'Swan' nonsense. I really don't want you to have to call me 'Miss Swan' for the next year."

I didn't think his russet skin might possibly turn any redder, but a blush brightened his cheeks slightly. "Um, I-I'm sorry Mi- um, Bella." The stuttering was adorable, but it was really time to get down to business.

Waving off his apology and fumbling, I pulled an empty computer chair beside my own and motioned for him to sit. With notepad and pen in hand, I began ticking off questions we needed to answer before we sought out whatever band _Dick_ had lined up for us to shadow.

"What kinds of things do you think we should start the research with? Or do you think we should just arrange a meeting first?" I honestly wanted his input. He was obviously interested in journalism, so I might as well throw him into it head first.

Wide eyes met mine. He was taken off guard—never a good position for a journalist—but he was still new to it so I supposed I should toss him a line. "I think we should try to research a little on their backgrounds before we go to see them. Maybe read some of their lyrics, if any are online? But there isn't too much we can do until they have a name we can start with."

"I thought you had some assignments to finish before we started?" The question was innocent enough, though it slightly peeved me. He was my _assistant _after all, wasn't he? Fortunately for him, he was too cute to be upset with. Instead, I took a long, hot chug of the macchiato before answering.

"Of course, but first lesson of journalism: Be prepared. Why don't we get a few ideas together?"

Nodding frantically, Jake seemed to wholeheartedly agree with my course of action. It was always a good idea to agree with your boss. _I guess that would apply to _The Dick_ as well. "Oh shut up," _I sneered inwardly.

Jake and I arranged a list of to-dos for both of us. He would read several _Rolling Stone _interviews, with famous rock bands, and compile a list of questions they had used. It was the best we could do for a first day. I recalled _Dick_ mentioning he would pass along the info we needed as it became available to him; so, for now, I needed to focus on the final pieces I had due before this whole traipsing around the country after a band thing kicked off in full gear.

And so it began.

**A/N: Again, I have begun the process of replacing unedited chapters. Please enjoy and thank you for the reviews. **


	2. Somebody Told Me

**ATTENTION: I have two wonderful betas, finally, so I am replacing all unedited chapters with the new and revised ones. Thanks for reading and reviewing!  
**

**No copyright infringement is intended! The characters are Stephanie Meyer's but the story is my own. **

"Somebody told me"

Friday nights had usually been the same routine since college. I added extra makeup, made sure to spray just a little too much hairspray and, tonight, decided to go with my new royal blue tunic dress and the blood red heels. After picking me up, Rosalie and I took her red convertible uptown to give a lift to our best friend and former sorority sister, Mary Alice Brandon. Of course no one except her mother and grandmother was allowed to call her "Mary." She claimed the name was the result of her proper Southern mother getting herself knocked up and seeking penitents from the Virgin Mary.

Alice hailed from Biloxi, Mississippi. Pure Southern in her charm and wit, she reminded me of a prima ballerina. At twenty-six and less than five feet tall, with deep gray eyes and a short black and purple pixie cut, Alice more than made up for her height in her poise. Very few people muddled with the plans of the beautiful Alice Brandon and lasted to try a second time. It was no wonder she had launched a very successful, up-and-coming event planning business. Soon, no doubt, she would be Seattle's next star.

Managing to take a night off from her steady boyfriend, Peter, Alice was waiting outside her apartment building when we pulled up. She took a drag from her cigarette, waving and clapping as she ran to meet us at the curb. I let her slip into the back seat after our hellos and cheek pecks. Taking the cigarette from her fingers, I inhaled slowly—savoring the way the smoke filled my lungs and replaced stress with that heady zing. One drag was all I allowed myself on our Friday night escapades.

Fiddling with the radio in the car, Rosalie attempted to find something for the three of us to listen to. While Alice's tastes tended to be a little more eccentric—some new age and reggae in the mix—and Rose preferred to listen to rap and hip-hop, I was alone in my love of country music, alternative and indie rock bands, but somehow we always managed to find something that would bring us together. P!nk suddenly blasted over the radio. Perfect. College music. This was just the thing to take our minds off a week's worth of responsibility.

Picked up by the wind, a piece of Rose's dangerously long, platinum-blonde hair snapped me in the face. _Ouch. _I really didn't know the last time she had really cut her hair. It was down past her ass—pretty and curly, but so long. The whole picture of Rose, however, was perfection—from that platinum hair to her bright blue eyes, all the way down her five-foot-ten slender frame, to her red-soled Louboutins.

Raised in Rochester, New York, she was the epitome of east coast bitchiness. Born into money, reared an affluent princess, Rosalie Lillian Hale wanted for nothing. She had always been an innocent but beautiful and tenacious girl. She surprised Alice and me when she told us she was a virgin during our junior year in college. We had always just assumed the opposite to be true.

Her last serious boyfriend, during the end of our senior year of college, Royce King really did a number on her. Rosalie knew the Kings through her father, who was business partners of a media-based company with Royce King, senior. Royce was several years older than she and very handsome. Royce proposed to her the night of her twenty-second birthday, with a room full of adoring and celebrating guests. Three months later, late at night on Halloween 2008, I woke up to a pounding on my door. When I answered, there stood a bruised and bleeding Rosalie. I took in the sight of her split lip, black eye, and the dried blood that streaked down her legs.

I stayed with her in the emergency room that night, doing enough people watching to last a lifetime. There were a few people waiting who had scrapes from falling down darkened stairwells, those who had slashes from acting out their favorite horror movie, and one poor girl who would never be whole again.

The doctors did a rape kit to collect whatever DNA evidence they could. It was only then that she confessed that not only had Royce raped her, but a group of several of his friends joined as well. Emergency contraceptives were administered and she spent several days in the hospital, surrounded by friends and family.

Royce and four friends were arrested the following morning and sentenced to prison time, despite his daddy's hotshot lawyers. Justice, however, would never be fully reached for Rose. She would never be able to bear a child, the doctors told her as she sobbed in my arms. This hurt her deeper than any physical pain that had been inflicted.

Yet, here she sat today, just as lovely and engaging as she had been before the trauma. After earning her degree in engineering, she now worked for one of the largest firms in the country. Rarely did she let a hot weekend date pass her up, a certain shift through the catalyst of the Royce incident. Rosalie lived for herself and her fun. Anyone who had gone through what she did would understand the necessity of such a thing.

Finally there was myself: Isabella Marie Swan. I was not the thrilling beauty of Rosalie and her blonde glory, nor was I the whimsical, entrancing star-like Alice. With long brown hair with huge, rolling waves—that I considered my best feature—my fair skin was lightly freckled and had a rosy twinge. Add in the green-brown eyes and anyone would tell you, though, that I was an interesting mix. My mother's ancestry was exclusively Bohemian while my father was Irish and French. Thanks to good genes from my mother, I stayed slim enough to wear what I liked but at a not-too-tall five-foot-five.

My mother insisted on calling me Isabella. Renee and her second husband, Phil Dwyer, traveled a lot. He was a pitching coach, for the AAA minor league affiliate for the New York Yankees, and was eighteen years Renee's junior. That made him almost the same age as myself—a troubling thought—but he seemed to make Renee happy. Besides, he obviously had a thing for cougars, so who was I to say anything about it?

Charlie, my dad, is who brought me out of the desert and into the picturesque world of Washington State. Forks, the small town he had always lived in, was the same one I was born in before Renee and Charlie divorced. When they split up, I went to live with her in different California cities for a few years before we finally landed in Arizona. Going back to Forks was a bit of a change for me, to say the least. I traded constant sunshine and heat for clouds and rain.

Charlie had been the Chief of Police of Forks for the past seventeen years. This basically consisted of giving traffic citations to out-of-towners who tended to pass through well above the posted twenty-five miles per hour limit. Spending his weekends fishing and watching sports was Charlie's idea of a good time. Needless to say, we did not spend much of my high school life talking.

But he was a great dad. Charlie was always there for me, ready to do anything for his little girl.

After graduating Forks High in the top of my class, I moved straight to Seattle to study at U-Dub. The University of Washington had a great writing and journalism program. Knowing I wanted to be a journalist since middle school, when I began watching the news and reading newspapers religiously, I also worked on the high school and college newspapers.

Upon the insistence of Renee, though it really wasn't my style, I pledged the Lambda Chapter of Gamma Phi Beta alongside Rosalie and Alice and several other girls. The idea of communal female bonding grew on me as I got to know my future best friends. It really helped us enjoy the college experience. These two girls made everything easier; thus was where our lasting union developed. They were always the first to pull me from analyzing too much, always reminding me to enjoy life a little more.

My inner musing was suddenly interrupted when my door swung open. We arrived at the club and I could not wait to let my inhibitions down and enjoy my night out with my girlfriends.

wwwww

The _Twilight Moon_ was our favorite club in the city. Our VIP status, thanks to yet another Hale-owned business venture, got us in immediately and straight to a booth. Dark crimson and black echoed through the room. All around, people smoked large hookahs packed with all kinds of flavorful tobaccos. The smoke filled the room with a sweet scent. _Twilight Moon _was more of a giant, swanky lounge than anything, just the way we preferred.

"Um... I'll take a vodka cranberry," I finished out the orders when the waitress made her way to our booth.

"Do you prefer house, well, or brand name vodka?" the waitress asked me.

"Give her Grey Goose," Rosalie interjected and I rolled my eyes; always the best of the best for guests of the Hale family. I was about to cancel the more expensive drink when the loudspeaker interrupted me.

_ "Ladies and gentlemen... The next band for this evening will be up in five minutes..."_

Rose clapped her hands, bouncing in her seat animatedly. I really was not sure what she could possibly be so utterly excited about. Of course she noticed our confused looks and chided us for obviously not keeping up on the Hale family news.

"Ladies! That's Jasper's band!" Unfortunately, blank stares met her excitement. "My big brother!" she huffed.

Alice and I glanced at each other. Sure, we knew there were two Hale children; we just had never heard Rosalie talk much about her brother before. Whenever we were around he was out of town, living in Los Angeles or doing who knows what. Neither of us had ever met him.

I went ahead and put it out there. "I didn't know your brother is in a band, Rose. I don't think either of us remember you talking about him too much."

Laughing and sipping from the drink that had just arrived, Rose brushed off the comments and focused her attention to the stage. They would be on any minute. We placed another round of orders right before the band was set to come on. Our booth was very close to the stage, so we'd have a good view as we showed support for Rose's brother.

_ "Please welcome _Midnight Sun _to this stage for their very first performance in Seattle!"_ Cheers erupted in the crowd around us.

Slowly the lights began to dim to an almost pitch black. When the background stage lights rose, we saw the silhouettes of three men. One stood at a keyboard, one sat at the drums, and one stood alone with a guitar at center stage. In sync, the drums and guitar began to pound. The bass of the drum filled the room, vibrating through me. I could already tell they were going to rock.

The most unique, strange, beautiful voice I had ever heard flooded my senses. I felt it vibrate to my core; it was like a field of sunflowers mixed with a shot of the strongest whiskey. I sipped my drink and as the lights rose to normal levels again, my breath caught in my throat. That beautiful voice graced me with the most handsome and exceptional looking man I had ever seen.

His hair was a strange bronze color and stuck out in all different directions. It wasn't long, but I could tell it was thick and heavy. My eyes traveled down his body, taking in more of the gorgeous sight before me. I could tell he was tall already, at least over six-foot. He had a handsome face with a chiseled, square jaw and a bit of scruff, broad shoulders and a lean but muscled frame. I felt my panties ignite.

As the opening song ended, I noticed the silence at our table. Rosalie's eyes were glued to the drummer as he pummeled the set. He was a giant of a man, even bigger and more built than my new Russet Giant assistant. His dark, curly hair was already damp with perspiration; not her typical style, but he certainly seemed to capture her attention.

To my right, Alice fidgeted with the cocktail napkin under her drink, glancing up every few seconds to stare directly at the keyboard player. That had to be Jasper; there was no mistaking a Hale. The man looked like a male version of Rosalie with his light blond hair, dark blue eyes and strong features; he was completely good-looking. Alice's face betrayed her thoughts. I just hoped that Rosalie would be all right with what our friend was most definitely thinking about her brother.

Allowing my eyes to wander back to the lead singer as their second song began, I gasped at the intensity I saw in him. His eyes, which had been closed as the passionate singing poured from him, opened with a start. Deep, rich, emerald green eyes stared directly into my soul. Electricity like a bolt of lightning shot off him and registered straight into me. A tightening deep inside my belly told me the rest of my body could feel the same electricity.

Suddenly, those emerald eyes darkened and hardened. From thrilling warm to steely cool, he turned away. He took the old fashioned microphone with him, singing the lyrics into it as he jumped around the stage while the tempo of the song picked up. The current I had just experienced was gone in a snap. It was as if the imaginary fire that had grown inside me had been doused with water. I lifted my drink to my lips and downed it in one swift gulp.

The remainder of their show went similarly. My girls were honed in on the men who had caught their eyes, leaving me to stare in lust and embarrassment at the Adonis with the voice of a god before me. Mercifully, the set ended a little less than an hour later and the lights faded again as they exited the stage to a sea of enormous applause. Certainly, I was the only one not clapping.

Alice and Rosalie blinked heavily, coming back from a daze, gradually turning their attention back to our table. We all busied ourselves with our drinks or phones for a few moments, as we gathered our thoughts. Clearing her throat, Rose combed her fingers through her hair while Alice took a large swig of tequila. This was going to be an interesting conversation.

"Well," Rose began, "They were very good—"

"Hey ladies!" Apparently the conversation would have to wait. The three band mates ambled toward our table. Rosalie jumped up from her seat and threw her arms around her brother. He caught her easily, spinning her around.

"Jazzy! You were fabulous!" she screeched in delight.

"Rosie, I'm so glad you could make it!" he responded, happily. The siblings obviously loved each other very much. Jasper turned his gaze first to me, nodding in acknowledgement, finally settling on Alice. "I'm glad you brought your friends along, also..."

Jasper placed Rosalie back on her feet, turning to Alice and took her small hand in his. "Jasper Whitlock Hale. Who might you be?"

Alice blushed furiously, definitely not typical for the fearless and confident woman I knew so well. She stumbled over her own introduction. "Um... I-I'm Alice. Mary Alice Brandon..." _She introduced herself with her given name?_ Surely Rose would catch on quickly. Jasper and Alice were eating each other up.

A huge smile lit Jasper's face. "Mary Alice, it's lovely to meet you. Rose has told me so much about you."

Clearing her throat loudly and shooting Alice a knowing glare, Rosalie asked her brother, "Aren't you going to introduce us to your band, Jazzy?"

Turning away from Alice, reluctantly it seemed, Jasper pinned Rose with a glare of his own. He had unquestionably noticed the gawking Rosalie herself had been doing while his band played. "Rosie, meet Emmett McCarty, from Tennessee," he announced, pointing to the giant who had caught Rosalie's eye. He smiled flirtatiously at Rose, winked and brought her offered hand to his lips.

Finally, Jasper turned to the stunning man with the honey voice. "And this is Edward Cullen, originally from Chicago." Edward nodded but did not make eye contact with any of us. He looked bored out of his mind.

"Guys, this is my sister Rosalie, Alice Brandon, and—" he trailed off. I was the only one that no one had noticed yet. All eyes turned to me. Rose and Alice seemed slightly embarrassed, realizing they had left me out, but Jasper and Emmett smiled warmly, hoping I would introduce myself. I looked to Edward, finally, and caught his sudden gaze penetrating my own with the same steel I had seen before.

"Bella Swan," I mumbled quietly, not daring to tear my gaze from Edward's cold eyes.

Jasper clapped and turned back to the group. "All right. Bella. Now we all know each other."

My eyes were still locked with the god in front of me. Despite the uneasy feeling it left me with, I could not look away. Eventually, to both my relief and disappointment, a tapping on my arm did the trick. I glanced at the invader of my personal moment with a fixed glare. Rosalie shrugged in apology.

"I was just asking if the guys would like to join us for some drinks, Bella." Rose motioned for me to shift further into the booth. Blinking rapidly, I managed to find the strength to move out of my lust and confusion-induced daydream and redistribute myself to the very middle of the round booth.

**A/N: I'm replacing all the unedited chapters. **

**Thanks for the reads and reviews!  
**


	3. A Pearl

**ATTENTION: I have two wonderful betas, starpower31 and hammondgirl. I'm replacing all unedited chapters with their new and improved counterparts. Please read, review and enjoy!  
**

**No copyright infringement is intended. Stephanie Meyer owns the characters and everything Twilight, I just own this story I threw them into. **_  
_

**This one is from Edward's POV. I hope you enjoy it! Please leave me some of your thoughts at the end? PLEASE? :)  
**

**WARNING: marijuana use **

**The chapters are titled after songs. This one is by a great Denver band called "You Me and Apollo". Check them out on iTunes.  
**

"A Pearl

EPOV

I had my reservations about performing in Seattle, that night. I knew it would not be easy, to say the least, but who was I to turn down a gig like that? We needed to get our bearings there. Jasper was from Seattle, and I knew he had a point to make with our band; he wanted to prove to the mighty Hale patriarch that he had what it would take to be a success in his own rite.

When we had arrived there in Seattle two days earlier, I immediately found a hotel to stay in—foregoing all attempts made by Jas and Emmett to get me to stay with them at the Hale mansion. That kind of finery did nothing for me anymore. I would not put myself at the mercy of the Hale family, albeit they tended to be very generous; I refused to live from their money the way their son did. However the band was not mine alone, so I made no arguments against the two of them staying there. We would be gone in a week, so I found the best hotel I could afford and bunkered down.

Our music was unique; the label classified us as alternative rock, which was a nice way of saying it was something that mainstream people wouldn't generally like. However, when our first single hit the airwaves in Los Angeles, it really took off. I had hoped that people would appreciate the life struggles I used in my writing. When our manager reported to us how people reacted to our single on social media, the focus was not on our lyrics but on my voice, my looks, my body, me, me, and me.

They did not see my pain; they only saw a pretty face.

It was unsettling to even attempt to separate myself from the hurts in my past in order to seek life's ease. As soon as I graduated college, I made a point to never again accept money from Carlisle and Esme, nor from my inheritance; that was all too much. Instead, I would fight and strive to make a name for myself separate from my family and their wealth.

When I began selling my poetry and drawings during high school and throughout college, I had actually managed to save a good amount of my own cash. Every penny went into a large jar in the back of my dresser, ready and waiting for the day it would be something worth putting in the bank. Over the years, I had compiled enough to set out on my own, and it had allowed me to latch onto my real passion: Music.

Jas had been a happy accomplice when I had presented him the idea of the band while we were roommates in college. Jasper was one of the best keyboardists I'd ever met, and he wasn't too shabby on the bass, either. Like myself, he had known life's finer things—only he managed to find the joy in them and not the bitter aftertaste I was so familiar with.

We stumbled upon Emmett—by pure luck—at a farewell show for one of the decade's biggest country bands out of Nashville. He had only played with them for a few years and would soon be out of a job. Emmett was thrilled with the idea of jumping right back into the music scene with a start-up band, especially once he heard a sample of our music.

It had not been an incredibly easy start, though I expected a lot more struggles than we had experienced. We played many midnight shows in small run-down bars. I was close to throwing in the towel when a producer finally took notice of us. The record deal he offered us was incredibly tempting—three albums over five years and a tour during the second year, coinciding with the release of our first album. Of course, we were opening for another band, but the upfront signing bonus was enough to keep us on our feet and in decent hotels whenever we needed it.

The ten months after our first single was released had been a lot of fun. Girls had a thing for my voice, and I was not beyond using that to get laid. All I had to do was say the right thing to them, and they would be on their knees sucking my dick within moments. I knew the other guys didn't mind the attention either, though they weren't nearly as eager to get a random fuck as I was. For me, it released me from the edge—even if it was only for minutes at a time.

I decided as a teenager that I did not want to tie myself to a girlfriend. Not that I hadn't been out with girls over the years, I just could not justify exerting the feelings that were necessary for caring about someone else. When someone's happiness or misery is in the palm of your hand, and you had the emotional availability that I did, you learn to not involve yourself. No one had ever struck me the way my father always said my mother had with him, and I was not going to put myself on the line for anything less. Now, over the sixteen years of keeping myself away from feelings and out of relationships with women, it was just a part of myself. I was Edward Cullen: Casual sex was a must, and love was the biggest no-no.

I had been to the _Twilight Moon _the day before the show, when we came to check it out and speak with the owner. It was one of the larger clubs we had ever played, and I was thankful that we were moving up in the world, though this would have nothing on the tour.

I scanned the floor in front of the stage from behind the curtains, looking for any hot bodies I might be able to lure with my voice tonight. It had already been a week since I'd gotten off, and I needed it more than any other night.

When the lights dimmed, we made our way to the center of the stage. I felt the normal thrum of anticipation and adrenaline flood my veins. Singing out the first few lines of the song before the lights rose again, I was in my element. When I was able to clearly see the room before me, I happened to look upon the most perilous creature I had ever seen—and what a creature indeed!

She was a vision before me. The faint glow from the lighted stage and room illuminated her face beautifully. As the lights rose, hues of red and gold shone from her long dark curls. The soft curve of her neck and her cheeks begged for my fingers, and when she lifted her glass to her lips, I felt my dick twitch in reaction to the sight. I closed my eyes to try and get my bearings, but it was to no avail. When I opened them again after the first song, they were locked with the lightest brown I had ever seen.

The moment her eyes connected with mine, I felt it—that stabbing ache in my chest, as though years without her presence had left a chasm in my body that I never knew existed. That was the same way my dad had explained it to me, all those years ago. I could not look away, and apparently, neither could she. Feelings washed through my body as her cheeks reddened enough so I could easily witness the blush in the dim light. I longed for her, and I had never desired anything so much in my entire life.

The keyboard and drums filled my ears, tearing me from my thoughts of this beautiful trespasser; anger filled my senses. Who was this woman to intrude upon my perfectly solemn world and invade my senses? I pulled myself away from her gaze, turned around, and did what I do best; I performed.

After a perfect set—and managing to avoid eye contact with the brunette angel—we exited the stage to explosive applause. Landing on the steps outside the backstage entrance for a smoke, we congratulated each other on a job well done. Jas was thrilled at the reception we had received.

"Holy shit, dudes!" he burst in excitement. "That was unreal!"

It was the truth. We had never received any enthusiasm like that in Los Angeles. Seattle, though, was known for its appreciation of good music. Pushing aside my previous anger toward the brunette affecting me so deeply while I was in my element, I managed to be happy along with Jas and Em.

"Maybe we should see if we can work in a few more shows in Seattle before we head out on the road," I suggested. "The tour doesn't start for three more weeks, and I doubt we'll get this nice of a welcome in other places." Instead of heading right back on the road toward Boston like we planned, maybe we really could stay here for a while and get some playtime in. The guys were living on the same adrenaline as I; both nodded in enthusiastic agreement.

"Oh man!" Jas exclaimed, smacking himself on the forehead with the palm of his hand. "I almost forgot that I have to introduce you guys to my little sis. She's out there waiting for us, so hustle it up, and let's go see her."

Snorting and rolling my eyes, we followed him through the back doors and into the main club area. Passing table after table of women I had hoped were Rosalie Hale, we kept walking around to the far corner of the tables closest to the stage. Dread filled my chest when we neared it.

"Hey, ladies," Jasper said, suddenly sounding like the New Yorker he originally was. A blonde beauty jumped up and into his arms. I had not noticed her previously; my focus had been entirely on the brunette angel at the table. They yammered on for a few moments before introductions began. I kept my eyes diverted, not wanting to be caught in that unbreakable gaze, again. But it was inexorable.

The moment Jasper trailed off, waiting for her to introduce herself—since everyone else seemed too absorbed in a bubble she was obviously not a part of—I lifted my eyes to her face and finally took a real look at her. I had thought she had a beautiful face, but I was dead wrong; she was astonishing. Light freckles dotted her nose and cheeks, and her clothes were peculiar in the sexiest way. She wore red on the lips I imagined wrapped around me, and her little dangling nose-ring made me lick my lips in anticipation; she would be a tiger, no doubt. I was drawn to her like a moth to flame and, no matter how hard I tried to tear my eyes away, I was caught.

When she lifted her head, our gazes locked for a second time, and I felt goose bumps run up my arms. If she could do that with a single look, what could she do with the rest of her body? Lust flooded my senses, but I forced the cool facade.

"Bella Swan." Her voice was a silk scarf, wrapping around me and causing my dick to twitch. I muffled the groan I felt trying to escape my throat and quickly tried to steel myself against the emotions once again.

Our eyes remained upon one another for several moments, both seeming to dare the other to look away. Unfortunately, a sudden tapping on her arm by her friend drew her chocolate eyes from mine. It was just the break I needed. This was much too dangerous for me to get caught up in.

**Hope you liked it... **

**Please review. **

**-Channy**


	4. Bulletproof

**Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. Stephenie Meyer owns the characters and I own the crazy lives I threw them into. :)**

**The title of this chapter is the name of a Goo Goo Dolls song. :)**

"Bulletproof"

BPOV

An hour later, I sat in silence as I nursed my liquor. To my right, Alice and Jasper were in an animated conversation, detailing the plans for a huge album release party for the band in the next few months—whenever their first came out; for now, they were selling extended play discs with only four of their songs and the single they had released ten months prior. It was very interesting to see him take such an interest in what she did. Obviously, he was trying to get to know her better. Hopefully, though, she was keeping Peter in mind. He was a great guy and cared a lot about Alice.

On my left, Rosalie and Emmett were discussing the difference between American and British sports cars. Wow. Talk about feeling like the third wheel. Edward sat on the other side of Emmett and had yet to say a word to anyone at the table, much less to me. He fiddled with the ice in his glass out of sheer boredom. At least he had spoken enough to order a drink. Of course the waitress had almost combusted on the spot when he had opened his mouth to articulate his alcoholic preference. I understood how she felt. Certainly, he must elicit this same reaction everywhere he went.

He had ordered a Jack and Coke. Go figure. My journalistic mind analyzed everything. The drink was typical of men who were too gorgeous for anyone's good, and who also had a stick up their ass the size of a Redwood. For some reason, the overly pretentious and best-looking men always preferred Jack and Coke. I rolled my eyes and finished off my fifth glass of Grey Goose and cranberry for the evening.

Speaking of cranberry, my mind drifted to my twenty-first birthday, when Renee had given me some interesting advice: _"Bella, you're probably going to sleep with a guy tonight, so if you're going to get drunk, make sure to do it on vodka and cranberry. At least it will help you avoid a urinary tract infection."_ Yep. That was my mother: Crude, blunt and more like a big sister than any mother I had ever known. Of course, she had been completely right. When Austin Marks had taken me to his apartment that night, we had not stopped screwing until the sun came up the next morning. I smiled to myself at the memory, lifting my glass and plopping an ice cube into my mouth.

I raised my eyes directly to those of Edward Cullen. God, why did he feel it necessary to stare at me if he was only going to glower and stay silent? In an act of defiance and boldness, I lifted my glass slightly toward him. "Cheers."

His otherwise stony face softened a fraction, and he cocked an eyebrow at me. Getting back to ignoring me, Edward fished his phone out of his pocket and busied himself with it. Suddenly he was on his feet. Conversations at the table came to a halt, and all eyes were on Edward.

"I'm going to head back to the hotel," he told us. I would miss his gorgeous voice, but was thankful I wouldn't have to be subjected to his attitude again. Emmett shot his hand out for a slap, while Jasper gave him an annoyed look.

"I told you that you are welcome to stay in the guest house with Em and I at my parent's place. There are four bedrooms there, dude," Jasper stated in displeasure. Edward was obviously the odd man out in their band, but they seemed to need him. Surely his vocals kept them a very hot commodity, even if he was an annoying ass.

Edward shrugged and tipped back the rest of his drink. "I'm fine, man." He turned to us, "Night, ladies. Nice to meet you."

As quickly as he was up and making his excuses, he was gone. Surely my alcohol-induced haziness was making me hallucinate he was even there in the first place. I told myself to forget his beautiful face for the rest of the weekend and ended up enjoying my time spent with the girls, and the guys of _Midnight Sun_.

wwwwww

Monday morning rolled around with typical artificial fervor. Another caramel macchiato patiently awaited me on my desk when I arrived at the office. Suddenly, my morning was looking up. Jake stood before me, leaning against my desk, wearing a smart black button up and jeans. _God, he's tall. _Jake grinned as I approached the desk, a sexy but boyish smirk.

"You look like you had a nice weekend," I complimented. It was true. He looked rested and refreshed—the exact opposite of my trite, worn-out self.

"Thanks, Bells." He smiled, throwing a new nickname into the mix. I hadn't heard that one before. It was pleasant, but unexpected. We hadn't known each other very long. I smirked at him, and Jake had the decency to blush a bit. "Um... Sorry. That's what I call you in my head. It just kind of slipped."

I chuckled, because honestly, I completely understood. After all, I did refer to my boss as _Dick_ all the time in my own head. I waved off his apologies. "Please, Jake. You can call me whatever you like, as long as it isn't 'Miss Swan'."

A choking noise resounded beside me as I bent over my keyboard, and I turned to see Jake coughing up his coffee. His face was red with embarrassment. I looked around, wondering what could have possibly gotten him so discomfited. Glancing down at my shirt, I saw I had forgotten to button my blouse completely. My red lace bra was clearly visible for anyone looking too closely, and my cleavage was falling out of my shirt while I bent down. After pushing the missed button into place, I brought my attention back to Jake, who had recovered from his choking episode. _What was he doing looking so closely at my chest?_

_Maybe we could have some fun together sometime. A year is a long time, and most of it will be spent on the road. _I smiled, biting my lip. As long as feelings didn't get involved, perhaps I would be all right this time.

wwwwww

When five o'clock finally rolled around on Wednesday night, Jessica Stanley, Angela Webber, Mike Newton, Jake, and I all headed to a dive bar a few blocks away. I had been working with Angela since we interned at the _Herald_ right after graduation. Jessica and Mike came along a couple of years later and always had a weird sexual tension between the two of them. In reality, she wanted him, plus every other man in the office.

Mike, however, seemed interested in me despite my turning him down at least a dozen times in the past three years. Even now, as we sat with our co-workers and his on again-off again girlfriend, the lustful and suggestive looks he was shooting my way were making my stomach roll. Casually scratching my eyebrow with my middle finger, I flipped him off and turned my attention to Jake.

"How's the research coming along?" We had not gotten word on the upcoming assignment for nearly two weeks, and _Dick_ still had not given us a name or anywhere to really start out.

Looking down in shame, Jake hung his head. "I really can't do much until we get their name, or at least the band members names..."

"Jake," I interjected, knowing he felt he had let me down. "Don't worry. It's not your fault. We still have time before we head out. Besides, it's given me a chance to get most of my projects done. I just finished the final edit on a blog for bleach-based kitchen cleaners. Life doesn't get more interesting than that." I was glad when he snorted and laughed along with me.

"All right, no more work talk. Tell me about yourself, Jacob Black."

Jake was such a smart, nice guy. He seemed fairly sensible from what I had been able to assess. I learned he was from a large Native American reservation in southern Colorado; the Ute. Well that explained his dark, handsome features. His mother was Ecuadorian by birth, but his father was a tribal elder with the Southern Ute tribe. He spoke fluent Spanish and Paiute, the language of the Ute. His mother, Sarah, was named for one of the nuns who worked at the village's local mission. Sarah had passed away in a car accident during a Colorado blizzard when Jake was twelve. My heart went out to him.

Jake had spent the first year and a half after high school working two jobs to earn extra money to support his father, who was paralyzed in the car crash that killed Sarah Black. Working his way up from poverty, Jake was the first member of his family to graduate college. He told me how quickly he had high-tailed it off the "Res" when he had the opportunity. He always had a knack for writing and an uncanny interest in investigating things, so Jake decided to major in journalism at the University of Colorado. He had managed to get the same internship I had snagged years before. Surely, he would have had it sooner if it weren't for missing a few crucial years of studies, while he took care of his family. He was only two years my junior.

While he talked animatedly about the joys of working and living in Seattle compared to what he'd grown up with, I allowed myself to really take a look at him. His features were so sharp, from the top of his straight black hair, down the thickly muscled and dark arms, to his solid legs. My fingertips itched to reach out and graze over his firm thigh. It looked so touchable in those snug black jeans he wore. Lust and Jake Black seemed to be keeping each other company in my mind more and more each day.

Tonight, I wore my hair long, with messy waves down my back. A short weekend shopping trip with Ali produced the skinny jeans, white v-neck and black casual suit jacket I wore. In my humble opinion, my large black-rimmed glasses and dozen leather tie bracelets complimented me nicely. I, briefly, wondered what Jake thought of the ensemble. Beside the incident with my breasts hanging out of my shirt earlier this week, I had yet to see Jake take any real notice of me. I was both relieved and a little annoyed. The inner battle waging over whether or not to allow myself to like Jake was seriously exhausting.

By seven, we were all sufficiently buzzed and had gorged ourselves on hot wings. It was already dusk and there would hardly be enough light to see where I was going if I wasn't already tipsy. Gathering my things, I began to say my goodbyes when something caught my eye. Sliding onto the barstool beside me was none other than Edward Cullen, who was beautiful, in all his green-eyed and copper-haired glory. I gaped at him. He offered a light smile.

"Wow, you're _actually _sitting by me _voluntarily_?" I bit my lip as soon as the words left my mouth, wishing I could drink them back from the air around us. Damn lack of brain to mouth filter. It was at its absolute worst when I was drunk.

A sigh escaped his lips as his smile dropped. Closing his eyes for a moment, he ran a hand through his wild hair. I really just wanted to reach up there and feel it. Instead, I gripped my purse tightly in front of me.

"Look, I know deserve that," he said. That was the longest sentence he'd ever said to me. God, his voice was beautiful, and it even had a slight hint of a Chicago accent mixed with an Irish one. I was taken off guard by it; how had I missed it before? His accent was so sexy. "I really need to apologize for my behavior the other night. There's no excuse. Jet lag, perhaps, but beyond that, I am at a loss."

My wide eyes and cavernous-mouthed gasp must have betrayed all my feelings on the subject matter. He reached out a hand, gingerly touching the back of my own with his fingertips. "Please, Isabella, forgive me for being such an ass the other night. Let me buy you a drink?"

Oh my god, he was serious. And how in the hell did he know my full name? No way. I would not be giving in that easily. "Um... Thanks, Edward, but I actually have to get going—"

"Isabella." He stopped my departure, wrapping his fingers around my wrist. I wanted to take that hand and place it against my exposed neck; let him feel the way my skin heated for him. "It's early still. Please let me make that night up to you. I was a terrible bastard."

I laughed out loud, right in his face. He could not be more right if he tried. Calming my laughter with a huff of surrender, I rolled my eyes. Edward took this as agreement. His cocky smile told me as much.

"Thanks, Isabella. Be sure to tell me if I start being an ass. I've been around Jasper and Emmett for months straight, so I forget myself sometimes."

I rolled my eyes again, but allowed him to lead me away from the group of my co-workers and toward a small booth on the other side of the bar. When I looked back at the group we had just retreated from, I was met with stunned expressions on the faces of my peers. Jessica looked insane with jealousy, Mike seemed as though someone had shot his new puppy, and Angela smiled encouragingly. When my eyes settled on Jake, my stomach did a little flop. Deflated would be the best way to describe the look in his nearly black eyes.

At least I knew, now, he had taken notice of me. Work relationships were far too messy for my liking, but we would be on the road together for so long, who knew what might come of it. Hopefully me. Plenty of times over, if I was lucky. We would just have to see what happened.

I waved at them over my shoulder, shooting a look of apology at Jake, then turned back around to follow Edward. He offered to let me pick the side I wanted, so I scooted in and put my purse beside me. After he sat down, the waiter asked for our drink order.

"Jack and Coke for myself, and a Grey Goose and cranberry for the lady, please." My mouth flew open in surprise. The order floated out of his mouth as though we had been having these casual drinks at bars together for years.

"How did you know?" I couldn't help but ask, slightly startled. It didn't even bother me that he was using my full name. I just wanted to hear him speaking. That voice would be my undoing.

Edward blinked at me, looking as though he held some deep secret I would never be privy to. "Isabella, I paid attention to everything you did and said that night."

A furious blush seared my cheeks. That had to be the sexiest thing I had ever heard, though I was not entirely sure if it was the words he had used, or if it was because he'd said them. The Adonis with the emerald green eyes remembered _everything_ I did that night? Did he recall the lustful way I stared at him? Oh god, I hoped not.

We picked up the glasses placed on the table before us. "Cheers!" With a graceful smile, he used my final word to him from that night.

"Um... Sure. Cheers." My reply was late and off balance. Edward had already slung back half his glass. "So what are you doing here tonight, Edward?" My tone was not quite casual, more investigative and suspicious. Welcome to a journalist's life. Nothing was a coincidence. Ever.

It was now his turn to blush a bit. The color that stained his cheeks was glorious; it faded into his bronze hair like a painting. "I, uh, actually thought this was where you might be tonight." _Ah-ha._ My point was made. Not a coincidence, at all. I rolled my eyes in annoyance, though I felt a jolt run through me. "Look, I wanted to tell you that we shouldn't be friends..."

Edward's answer both startled and angered me all over again, snapping me like a rubber band away from any lust I felt for him. Who did this asshole think he was? Why would he come all the way over here to find me and buy me a drink, if all he wanted to do was tell me something I was already absolutely not even considering? I blinked away my nerves and licked my suddenly dry lips.

"Wow. Okay, well that is the one thing we can certainly agree on, Cullen. And we certainly wouldn't want a repeat of Friday night, would we?" Sarcasm dripped as lethal viper venom from my mouth. I patted my inward self on the back at the cringe I saw from him.

Lifting his eyes to mine, Edward held my gaze for several moments. My eyes challenged his excuses, and he tried to mask his shame and loss of composure. Edward combed his fingers through his hair, finally resting his chin on his knuckles. "Actually, Isabella, the reason I'm here is to let you know some of the plans for the tour."

Now it was my turn to be utterly confused. What in the hell was he talking about?

A small smile lifted his lips at the uncertainty on my face, as though he was now the one with all the Aces in his hand. "Well a year is quite a long time to be around a group of guys, I suppose. But I can't imagine we'll be protesting your company..." His voice trailed off suggestively. Five minutes ago, the comment would have caused me to flush with embarrassment. But now, as his words slowly sank in, I let the wheels in my head do their work; I stared at him in disbelief. Panic gripped me.

"_You're _the band?"

**A/N:**

**Well, now she knows. I'm sure there will be hell to pay. ;)**

**Reviews PLEASE? :)**


	5. Black Bird

**All publicly recognized characters are property of their owners. All other characters and story line are property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Thanks for all the reads and all of you who have made this story a favorite. The song for this chapter is "Black Bird" by the Beatles. I just feel it fits our "Rockward's" personality. :)**

**Please leave a review if you like this story; I would appreciate it so much. :)**

"Black Bird"

_EPOV_

I was a complete douche bag. I was fully aware of that. The way I had ignored Bella and brushed her off, like a pesky fly, was inexcusable. I had to make up for it. Whatever it was about Bella that lit my skin on fire was driving me crazy. After I left _Twilight Moon_, I jogged back toward my hotel. It was mild outside, so the run was not bad at all and gave me time to unravel my thoughts.

She had been fairly silent throughout the rest of the evening—only speaking when spoken to. Obviously, Bella had noticed my less than receptive persona, and it seemed to shut her down. Perhaps it was for the best, anyway.

I had not missed the flash of lust in her eyes, zapping like lightning through them, when she took her first look at me. Nor had I been blind to the subtle transfer she made in her position, when she brought her thighs together under the table and shifted in her seat. I knew exactly what was going on down there; it was the same effect I had on almost every woman I spoke to, or merely even smiled at.

Most women, however, did not send tremors through my body with just one look. I would have loved to blame the alcohol I drank or the weed I usually smoked before the shows, but I hadn't even had any tonight. Maybe that was the issue? Perhaps I wasn't drunk or high enough yet to really just enjoy my time and not over-think women. I refused to believe it was anything else. That was the night I needed the buzz and high more than most.

It was _the_ night; the one I dreaded every year.

Stopping by a liquor store on the way to the hotel, I grabbed five bottles of whiskey, hoping that they might drown out a little of the sting I was feeling. At the very least, it was certain to rid my mind of _that_ woman. The store manager arched his eyebrow at the amount of alcohol I was buying.

"Just take my money and don't have an opinion, man." I scowled at him. That wiped the judgment right off his ugly face.

When I made it back to my room, I immediately dug out my stash, rolled it, and lit up a joint. The smoke soaked through my body and filled my lungs; all the tension began to melt away. Unscrewing the lid of the first whiskey bottle, I took a large gulp, letting it burn the back of my throat. The scorch was reminder of why I did not need attachments in my life, and why I was better off on my own.

Carlisle had called while I was sitting there with the band and the girls. When Bella had raised her glass to me and said "Cheers," I had actually almost started up a conversation with her, and wondered if she was not as dangerous as I had first assumed. Maybe I would be able to enjoy her? But then my phone had vibrated in my pocket. Carlisle. He usually called me once every few weeks, just to check up on me, see how I was managing, and to offer money or anything else to make my life easier.

That night, I was not in the mood to speak with him. I knew what he would say: _"How are you holding up, son? How is the band doing? Have you had much to drink tonight? You know we love you, very much."_ Instead, I lifted the joint back to my lips and inhaled. There was no sense in letting Carlisle play "daddy." He would never be a replacement.

When I felt the "munchies" coming on, I called for room service and ordered half the menu. As I sat scarfing down my second cheeseburger and fries, I channel-surfed to a late night infomercial for towels. I wished I could escape this day every year. How easy life would be if I could just be free from the memories and pain of my past.

I finished off my binge with a personal cheese pizza and a plate of pancakes, and I was finally ready to pass out. Pulling out my phone as I lay my head on the soft pillow, I scrolled through my photo library until I came upon the picture I sought. We looked so happy and peaceful in that shot. It would only last a few more days after that photo was taken. Then my world came tumbling down around me.

What a way to end a Friday night. Hot tears stung my eyes. I brushed them away and flung my phone across the room to the couch where it landed with a gentle thud. Maybe by this time next year, I would be over the ache.

The following Wednesday, I awoke to a horrible sound. The ringing felt like little trumpets blasting against my eardrums. It was the ringtone I'd assigned for our manager; I groaned at the thought of having to speak with him this morning. This hangover was straight from hell. Though it was my fifth in a row and I knew I deserved it, he would only make it worse.

Finally forcing myself to roll out of the soft bed, I ambled over to my phone. "Hello?" I mumbled, trying to wake myself up.

"Edward!" Jameson Jenks exclaimed, and I had to pull the phone away from my ear to prevent any worsening of my already pounding head. "I have been trying to reach you guys all morning. Jasper and Emmett both have their phones off, and you refuse to answer."

Rubbing my eyes, I willed away the throbbing. "I'm sorry, man. I had a little too much to drink last night. What time is it?"

"It's five-_fucking_-o'clock in the afternoon." He sighed in frustration. "If you guys don't want to work, then by all means ignore me, but I have gotten at least seven calls from local Seattle clubs who want to book _Midnight Sun_ in the next two weeks, but—"

"Are you shitting me?" I was suddenly wide-awake. Seven clubs in the same city in two weeks was quite a feat. Apparently, we had made the kind of impact we were hoping for.

"They don't care if they book you on a Monday night, these guys just want you. Your first show must have been amazing," he told me, sounding pleased with himself—as though he had done the show himself. "Look, if you want to get started on these, you better get everything settled with that newspaper. They have called twice a day for the last week, trying to get the band in for a meeting. That journalist is going to be following you guys around during the whole tour."

I groaned; I had almost forgotten about that whole fiasco. I didn't know whether to be embarrassed or proud of the whole thing. Some poor guy would be following us, an opening band, around for an entire year trying to make a story out of us, trying to make us into something bigger than we were.

"Don't start with me, Edward. You needed the exposure, and Jasper's dad was more than happy to make that happen," Jenks scolded.

"Yeah, yeah," I grumbled. "I haven't forgotten. Everything is 'brought to you by the Hale Family.' How could I forget, really? They paid for the tour bus, the new drum set, and all of the new microphones. Hell, I'm lucky I bought my own guitar before this all began."

Jenks had the audacity to laugh loudly in my ear. "You sound like a spoiled kid, Edward." I knew he was right, but it still bothered me to have anything to do with Hale money. "Anyway, since I can't reach the other guys, I'm going to have that newspaper editor's assistant call and schedule the appointment with you. Just make sure that the guys know the details of it, okay?"

"Fine, whatever." I rolled my eyes, annoyed. "I'll text you the details when they call me."

An hour later, I had managed to shower off the filthy stench of weed and the remnants of alcohol from my skin and hair. I was drying off my hair and opening the door for the room service waiter when the call came through.

"This is Edward Cullen," I answered.

"Yes, hello, Edward," a friendly female voice came over the line. "My name is Anna Brown, and I am the assistant to Richard Varner, editor-in-chief of _The Seattle Herald_."

"Yeah, I was expecting the call." I nodded my thanks to the waiter and tipped the kid an extra twenty bucks as he cleared yesterday's dirty dishes out of the room.

"Oh, excellent," Anna said, happily. "I was told to arrange a meeting with your band at our office. I can get you in on the schedule next Tuesday at the earliest. Bella will be finishing her final assignments until then."

I froze midway in my reach for the remote on the bed. "Did you say _Bella_?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Anna apologized. "Yes, Isabella Swan will be the journalist covering _Midnight Sun_ during the tour."

_Isabella. _Mind reeling, I sat back with a huff. Praying fervently that I was still asleep and having a horrid dream, I squeezed my eyes shut. When I reopened them a moment later, I was still in the same room, on the same bed, with the phone against my ear.

"Mr. Cullen?" Her voice drew me out of my thoughts. "Shall I pencil you in for Tuesday, then? Does ten in the morning work for you?"

"Um, yeah, that's fine. Thanks," I told her and disconnected the call, unable to process any other information.

I had to figure a way out of this. Wasn't there any other journalist out there who would be able to cover the tour? Why her? Then the fact that she was Rosalie Hale's best friend dawned on me. Damn it. I could not very well get rid of someone hand-picked by the Hale patriarch. Jasper had mentioned that Rosalie had her daddy wrapped around her little finger, so of course he would select her friend to do the assignment. He even mentioned that they had padded Bella's salary so she would be able to live comfortably, on her own.

After I pulled on my clothes, I grabbed my wallet and dialed Emmett. "What's up, man?" Emmett answered.

"Let me talk to Rosalie, Emmett." Before my shower, I had received a self-portrait of him, giving a lopsided and very suggestive grin, with a half-naked Rosalie Hale sleeping beside him. I'd figured it would end up that way after I had noticed the sparks that first night, but I hoped he wouldn't get hurt. The huge, dark-haired man had the tendency to fall hard and fast.

"Who is that, baby?" Her voice was muffled and hoarse in the background—I could only imagine why.

"Edward wants to talk to you, Rosie." I heard sheets rustling as he passed the phone off.

"Edward?" Rosalie mumbled sleepily.

"Rosalie," I began, "I was wondering if you might know what Bella is doing right now?" A soft chuckle sounded over the line.

"Why in hell would you want to know, Edward? You completely ignored her on Friday night."

Guilt washed over me; she was completely right. My excuse, however, was solid—that night was _the _night, after all.

"You're right," I told her. "But I want to make it up to her. Do you know where she's at tonight?"

She rattled off the name of a downtown bar. "Bella is usually there every Wednesday night between five and eight or so."

"Excellent," I said, typing the name into the GPS on my phone. It wasn't too far of a walk from my hotel.

Sighing, Rosalie asked, "Is there anything else you needed, Edward?"

"No. Thanks though, Rosalie. I really appreciate your help." The phone was transferred back to Emmett.

"Dude," he said with a lout laugh. "Are you crushin' on that brunette hottie? Fuck man, I thought blondes were your thing."

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. "Fuck off, Em. I just need to talk to her, okay? Don't let the old, rusty wheels in that empty skull of yours start trying to work." I always teased him about his smarts; he'd actually graduated at the top of his class, but just decided against college in the name of music.

He just laughed louder, so I hung up the phone; it was time to make sure a certain brunette-hottie wanted to tuck-tail and run as far away as possible from this assignment.

The bar wasn't where I would expect a cranberry-and-Grey-Goose-kind of girl to hang out. The small dive bar in downtown Seattle sat nestled away between large buildings. I stood outside for fifteen minutes, debating with myself over whether I should go inside or not.

Right as I gathered my courage, I saw her through the window. _Isabella_. She was as beautiful as her name. I observed her as she spoke animatedly with a large, Native American man. Her smiling face spoke volumes of her feelings—she cared for him. Jealousy seared through me like a brand. Suddenly, I felt the need for that smile, for that warmth from her. But I snapped myself out of it quickly; that would only be a recipe for disaster.

When I slid onto the barstool beside her, she was definitely startled. Her comments stung a bit; apparently I was quite an ass to her the other night. Luckily, though, I convinced her to join me for a drink. While we walked away, I shot a smug look to the big guy she had been talking to as I watched his face drop. _That's right. Isabella is coming with me tonight, boy. _

Managing to startle her again when I ordered her preferred drink, I attempted to reign in the conversation. I didn't actually want her to know that I had taken notice of her and that she had been on my mind, but I couldn't stop. When our drinks arrived, I raised mine to her.

"Cheers!" I told her and slung my drink back quickly.

"Um... Sure. Cheers." Taken aback, her response was late. "So what are you doing here tonight, Edward?" She sounded like she was investigating me, but I knew I was to blame.

I felt some color rising to my cheeks. _Here we go_. "I, uh, actually asked Rosalie where you might be tonight." She rolled her beautiful brown eyes in annoyance, and I realized my first assessment of their color had been incorrect. They were not just a simple, chocolate brown. No, they were the color of a mountain forest in early fall—brown as tree bark with leaves of green changing to gold. They captured me in their depths.

But my mouth took over where my brain left off. I had to shut this down before it took over my entire system. "Look, I wanted to tell you that we shouldn't be friends..." Her face fell; I had managed to send her reeling from a state of confusion to insult in a matter of minutes.

Shit. I felt like a complete and total tool all over again. _Fuckity damn it._

"Wow. Okay, well that is the one thing we can certainly agree on, Cullen. And we certainly wouldn't want a repeat of Friday night, would we?" Isabella seethed, sarcasm dripping as lethal viper venom from her mouth. I cringed from the sting. Her eyes challenged mine, but I settled my chin on my knuckles instead, trying to surrender without a fight.

"Actually, Isabella, the reason I'm here is to let you know some of the plans for the tour."

Once again, I threw her for a loop; confusion radiated from her. She was completely unaware of our place in her assignment—that much was certain.

A smile lifted the corners of my lips at the uncertainty on her face. "Well a year is quite a long time to be around a group of guys, I suppose. But I can't imagine we'll be protesting your company..." I allowed my voice to drip with innuendo. I waited for her flush, but she seemed to just be mulling over my words.

When recognition dawned on her face, her mouth fell open. "_You're _the band?"

Surprised at the panic in her voice, I nodded slowly. "Indeed, Isabella."

She hesitated, staring in a daze at me for several moments. "Holy. Fuck." My cock jolted at her words. _Shit, her cursing was so damn hot._

"I figured you would know," I told her honestly, but she just shook her head slowly, lost in bewilderment. I had caught her completely off guard.

She swallowed thickly. "I... I had _no_ idea."

I studied her, earnestly, trying to decipher her reaction to the news. "I'm sorry I took you off guard. I only meant to settle any awkwardness between us before we are around each other for months on end, and—"

"And, I'm sure, telling me we shouldn't be friends will remove all awkwardness from the situation," she mumbled, sarcastically. "Bravo."

I cleared my throat, embarrassed. Finishing the rest of my drink, I stood and threw down a fifty. The waiter could keep the thirty-five dollar tip for all I cared—I was uninterested. "Well, we have a meeting on Tuesday, so I guess I'll see you then."

She nodded numbly and I turned to leave; perhaps she would refuse the assignment and I would be saved from the beautiful torture of her presence after all.

**A/N: It was a bit of a filler for the next chapter, but we needed to hear from Edward again. He has a lot of issues that will begin to come into the light a little later on. **

**Please review if you like the story. Your opinion is important to me. **

**Thanks so much!**


	6. 15 Step

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognized characters are property of their owners. This story and it's original characters are property of the author. **

**Special thanks to my betas, hammondgirl and starpower31! I appreciate your help with everything, especially comma-drama! ;) And thank you to my prereader, 2loveybunnies. You give me fantastic ideas and are my resident go-to for all things journalism! **

**The song for this chapter is "15 Step" by Radiohead. I can just hear it going through Bella's head as she builds up the anticipation of talking with **_**Dick**_**.**

**Enjoy!**

"15 Step"

Friday had returned with a vengeance, and it would be mine. I had scheduled a meeting with _Dick_, first thing in the morning. We had a few things to..._discuss_.

I couldn't believe I would be following this group of men around for an entire year! It was obvious how I got this gig. Jasper was the son of the newspaper owner, and I was his little sister's best friend; it was very easy to see. Truthfully, I felt completely insulted. I thought I had proven my own worth at the paper. For years, I had busted my balls doing silly research projects for lazy journalists, reported on countless boring events, and had written blog after blog about lemon**-**scented versus pine**-**scented tile cleaners. But apparently, my connection to the Hales was the only reason I was given this promotion. Mr. and Mrs. Hale had treated me like a daughter since the first time I visited their home. Unfortunately, my pride was now bruised.

After I had worked with James on his entertainment column a couple of years back, I knew I had some credibility with the newspaper. The other columnists trusted me with their research and often asked for my help with their editing. My ultimate goal was to become a serious, international, best-selling author, or an investigative reporter for a paper like the _New York Times_; maybe I would even be an editor one day. I had plans, dreams, and a purpose, but I refused to allow my Hale-connection to discredit my work.

To top it off, I would now have the unfortunate experience of dealing with Edward Cullen on a nearly daily basis. I would be forced to endure with his moodiness, his lack of manners, his purposefully trying to not be friendly, and—damn it all—the undeniable attraction I had for him. _Fuck my life._

On Wednesday, after Edward threw a fifty on the table—which was more than enough to cover our drinks three times over—he left without looking back at our table. I had grabbed my coat and stormed out of the bar, effectively ignoring worried looks from Jake and Angela. I would never be able to control my temper with him. Surely, this assignment would not be possible for me. He had single-handedly ruined my buzz, my Wednesday night, and my future in journalism**.**I absolutely _had_ to turn down the column.

Calling in sick to work, I allowed myself to have Thursday to calm down and contemplate my situation. Spending the day with my mind as far from Edward Cullen as possible, I managed to finish one of my blog entries about the necessities of cleaning and sanitizing refrigerators. I even tested it out for myself and became the proud owner of a sparkling, and very clean fridge. This I could manage; I knew how to blog. It was Edward who made me second-guess myself.

Emmett and Jasper I could handle as well. The two of them had gone to dinner with Peter, Alice, Rose and I Thursday night. Rosalie had told us about Jasper while we'd been waiting for the men to arrive. Jasper was a tall man. Having been a runner in high school and college, he was lean but also had solid muscle from years in ROTC before he had dropped out and headed for Berkley. He was two years older than Rose and had been made to take piano lessons from a very young age. The results of the rigorous training had been well worth the effort—he played beautifully.

Once in a while, Emmett let his southern drawl slip through—but only when he became especially excited; those were the same moments his dimples showed themselves in his beautiful smile. Born and raised in Nashville, Emmett was everything one would imagine of a country-boy-turned-rock-star. He was amazing. Accomplished in more than drumming, Emmett was the star receiver for his high school football team and graduated at the top of his class. He was offered a scholarship to Stanford, but refused to heed the pressures his father put upon him to take it. Instead, Emmett decided on a life of music, traveling the east coast and southern states to play in bars, and meet a variety of musicians.

They were both amazing guys, but if either of the band mates knew that I was supposed to be traveling with them for the next year, they had not mentioned it. How Edward knew, I was still unsure. I wasn't ready to say anything at that point, either.

Not surprisingly, Emmett had been a total sweetheart. He was a giant teddy bear that I wanted to wrap up and cuddle with. Of course Rose would poke out my eyeballs if I ever told her that. She was extremely smitten with Emmett McCarty, and it was sort of nauseating. They would be a power couple, if I had every seen one. Rosalie was the strong, Amazonian-goddess and Emmett was a body builder type with a soft side; watching them interact was incredibly fascinating.

The thought was unnerving. Here I was at twenty-six, and my last date had been five months ago. Truthfully, I was not looking to settle down at all; I had so much going for me in my career with the new promotion, that a relationship would be a terrible burden. That being said, I desperately needed to get laid. The date I mentioned had been the third date with Tyler Crowley. When he asked me to get into the back of his car with him after driving to a scenic overlook of the city, I quickly made sure he knew I was far beyond high school "parking." Rejected, he drove me back to my apartment and never said another word to me. Thus, I found myself in the midst of an eight-month sex drought.

Of course, I had ideas of where I wanted my life to end up. Generally, though, they revolved around become a famous writer and living in one of the big cities—New York would be perfect. Perhaps there would be a man in the picture, but I was never one to fantasize about marriage and babies. I would probably become one of those strong and independent single women. Maybe I would be the next Greta Garbo, only in the writing world instead of acting. It never bothered me to think of being perpetually single. As long as I had regular sex, I would never object. A vibrator could only do so much.

I snuck a glance around our table and noticed that Alice and Jasper seemed to have an attachment already. He sat beside me and across the booth from where Alice and Peter sat, but his eyes kept seeking hers. Peter sat in oblivion, deep in conversation with Emmett about the Seattle Seahawks.

I felt a nudge under the table and looked up, wondering who might be on the kicking end. Nothing seemed suspicious, until I felt a much harder strike from what was definitely a pointy-toed Burberry boot. My eyes shot up to Alice's, though she was not looking at me. Her focus was on Jasper. Suddenly, that same boot was making its way under my wide-leg pants and up my calf. _Holy shit, Alice Brandon._ What was going on here?

"I'm going to run to the men's room," Jasper announced to the table and stood. "Be right back." When he stood, Alice's foot remained on my calf. Her eyes widened, flashing to mine. She jerked her foot back as though I had burnt her. Red flooded her face and she looked away quickly.

A few moments later, she was up on her feet. "I'll be right back," she told Peter, who nodded in acknowledgment without turning away from his conversation. Alice rushed back toward the dimly lit hallway that housed the restrooms. _Fuck._ Peter was completely clueless, and Alice was going to break his heart. I made a mental note to speak to her about it as soon as possible.

When I got home after dinner, I rummaged around social media and the Internet for hours. I had discovered pictures and a few blog entries about _Midnight Sun_. To my surprise, they had a Facebook fan page. It had a lot of information about their upcoming tour,and I was able to find out some of the cities we would be going to first. It looked like Boston was at the top of the list. I found out that they were the opening act for the huge rock-sensation, _Axing Questions. _I actually really liked that band and even had several of their songs on my iPhone.

There was also a fan page dedicated to Edward Cullen with a couple of hundred likes. The profile picture was of him, taken from the floor at a show. Perspiration dotted his brow and a lock of his unruly bronze hair clung to his forehead. He looked like he had just been thoroughly fucked; my panties combusted at the sight. Apparently, no matter how rude he was and how much I wanted to knee him in the balls, I wanted_ him_. Maybe it was his voice, or perhaps it was his body, but I something deep inside me knew that he was exactly what I needed. It was going to be a very difficult year.

Friday morning, I arrived at work especially early. Watching the clock tick away the last fifteen minutes before eight was like watching a snail crawl across a driveway. I sat at my desk, impatiently tapping my fingers on the metal. As soon as _Dick_ walked through the elevator doors, I allowed myself a deep breath and bee-lined for his office.

"What the hell are you doing here this early, Swan?" He sounded as piqued as I had been feeling the past few days. I pushed his door shut behind me and tossed a notepad onto his desk before he even had a chance to sit down. I stood in front of _Dick's_ desk with my hands on my hips, radiating anger.

"What's this?" he asked, without looking down at it. _Midnight Sun _was scrawled across the top. The inner leaves contained numerous pages of research I'd done on the band members. Everyone except Edward Cullen, that was. For some reason, I was not able to find any real details on him beyond the last few years, in the hours I had spent researching the night before. None of what I had found was even worth noting—college transcripts and a family address in Beverly Hills. All that said to me was: Not only was he a jerk, he was a rich jerk who went to Berkley with Jasper Hale.

"So, you know the band name now. I'm glad Anna informed you," he said. "We finally got a hold of their manager yesterday to find out their details. Did she memo you the tour schedule—"

"Did I get this shot because Aaron Hale is my friend's father?" I interjected.

Varner took a long drink of his black coffee and sat down in his chair, regarding me closely. "Swan," he finally responded, "you got a _job_ here because of Mr. Hale."

When I began to protest, he threw a hand up to silence me. "That being said," _Dick_ continued, "you have proven to _me_ that you are capable of handling your own column instead of just being a blogger. I am aware that we butt heads some times—most times—but I know you're a good writer and you'll be able to handle this."

The admission took me so off guard that my arms fell to my sides and I dropped to the seat behind me. I hadn't realized he actually _liked_ my writing. He had never done anything more than criticize it—pointing out the flaws, or where my words could be shifted to better portray the thoughts behind them. A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth.

"Now don't go getting all emotional on me, Swan," Varner groaned. Quickly, I let my mouth drop. "What did you want to talk about besides that, anyway?"

I hesitated, debating internally for a few moments. Despite my feelings about Edward Cullen, this was still a great opportunity and one I definitely did not have any intention of passing up. Well, not after what he'd said, anyway. I knew, then, that I would soldier through and make the most of it. I had to remind myself again that I would never let a man—no matter how attractive or rude—stand in the way of my potential success. This was my opportunity to hit the big time.

"Um... Actually, I heard that we have scheduled a pre-tour meeting with the band. I guess Jake and I will have a chance to get to know them and figure out some of their expectations—especially since Mr. Hale's son is in the band." Okay, that wasn't the exact reason I had gone in there that morning. I had planned on throwing the notebook down and demanding a reassignment. When _Dick_—I, uh, mean—Varner grinned back at me and nodded his agreement, I knew I had made the right decision.

I pulled all my grocery sacks out of the bike basket after locking it up. Buying for one person wasn't too much of a feat. Punching in the code for the front door, I maneuvered the bags into my apartment building.

After graduating college, I decided to stay in Seattle. Charlie had begged me to move home to Forks, but I couldn't imagine writing for _The Forks Daily News_... ever. I moved to the Capitol Hill district and never looked back. I made a promise to see him for all major holidays, though. Luckily, the tour allowed for a weeklong hiatus during Christmas.

My loft had an east coast feel, but it was wholly Olympic Peninsula. The brick walls, exposed on two sides of the giant room, gave rustic warmth that screamed out to me when I had done the walk-through. When I first moved in, I was worried that it might be out of my price range—though Rosalie insisted that I should get it. I was pleasantly surprised, however, when I received my first paycheck and learned I would easily be able to afford two such apartments. Apparently, _The Herald_ paid much better than I expected.

A teal, leather wingback chair accented my canary yellow sofa. Color popped and sizzled everywhere; perhaps I was an artist in a past life. Candles, strung lanterns, and several lamps lit the room. My wall art included many photographs that I, ever in the loop, had taken with Instagram. I smiled widely to myself. Perhaps I was, indeed, a good candidate for the Entertainment and Lifestyle beat.

Placing my reusable grocery sacks on the kitchen counter, I hit the red, flashing light on my answering machine and listened to the messages while I put all the groceries away. Though it was outdated, I preferred to have the answering machine**.** It was loud enough to listen to anywhere in the apartment, and I didn't need to hold a phone to my ear to do it.

_"Bella Baaaaaby!"_ Ben's perfectly high-pitched voice rang out around the room through the machine. Perfect! This was just the person I needed tonight. Ben Cheney was the first friend I made when I moved to the Cap-Hill district. Then, he was my flamboyantly gay next-door neighbor. His late night romps had forced me to buy earplugs within the first week of living in the building. Now, he had moved up a bit in the world. As a newly elected state congressman, Ben relocated a few blocks away to a freshly renovated high-rise—complete with a gorgeous view of the Space Needle.

_"Girl, I swear you are the only person in Seattle, W. A. who still uses an old-fashioned answering machine. Anyway ... I'm coming over tonight! We have some things to catch up on, and I need my Bella-bug. I'll be over at seven. I'll use the spare key if you aren't in yet... Just make sure you don't come traipsing in with some guy by accident, unless you're willing to share! Laters, babe!"_

I glanced up at the clock, noticing it was already 6:45 in the evening. I quickly managed to put all my groceries away and place a bottle of chardonnay in the freezer, just as the knock sounded on my door. Swinging it open, I jumped into Ben's arms, wrapping my legs around him.

"B! Hey, baby!" he exclaimed. I smiled widely; he was exactly what my night had needed. I leaned in and kissed both of his cheeks.

"Benny!" I said, sighing with glee. Why all gay men were so good looking, I had no idea. Ben was gorgeous with dark-brown hair and icy-blue eyes. Though he wasn't overly tall, his five foot eleven frame still had half a foot on me. I was glad he was strong enough to hold me. We had done many piggyback rides through the Seattle streets during drunken tirades. "You have no idea how happy I am that you're here!" Grinning happily at me, he carried me to the counter and sat me down.

We made caprese paninis with Mozzarella di Bufala, along with the basil and tomatoes which I had grown on my own back patio. While eating and sipping our wine, we managed to catch up on the few weeks we had not seen each other. Ben had been working on a new bill, aiming to make same-sex marriage legal in the state. Though other such bills had been voted down in the past, he was confident that this one would pass. He also had a new man in his life, Tom Banner.

"No wonder you've been so absent lately, Benny. Tell me what this 'Tom' is like." I swear he blushed. Mister banging-beds-into-the-wall-all-night just blushed? He must be serious about this one.

"Tom is just magnificent, B." Ben's voice was dreamy and romantic. He spent twenty minutes going on and on about Tom's love of art, music, cooking, and the Mariners.

I looked down at the table absentmindedly, playing with the placemat. Damn my fucking life. Even my gay best friend found the perfect person and was receiving a regular lay. _Ha. What a freaking crapshoot my love life was._

"Tell me what's wrong, baby girl." His words drew me out of my melancholy. I offered a small tug at the corner of my lips. "You aren't your usual, lively self. Maybe I just need to get more alcohol into you."

Taking a deep breath, I decided to spill the beans. "I was given my own column at the paper, but—"

Ben jumped out of his chair, full of excitement and energy. "Baby B!" he exclaimed, reaching for another bottle of wine. "This means we need to go celebrate! How fabulous!" But he stilled suddenly, after noticing my less than enthusiastic response. "That's not all, is it?" Easing himself back into the chair, he waited for whatever terrible news I was sure to deliver.

"Thanks for the excitement, Benny. It's just... I got my first assignment." Of course, now I was confusing the poor guy. He must have thought I was insane; I had finally been given my own column and my first big assignment, yet here I was moping.

"I'll, uh—I'll be following a band on tour, writing about their potential rise to fame... for the next year."

Suddenly, half a glass of white wine was dripping in my lap. Ben jumped up to grab a towel from the kitchen to clean the spilled contents. I knew he would be stunned, but I did not expect such a hasty departure into shock.

After patting down all the remnants of wine from my skirt, Ben managed to calm down and was now coming back to his old, smiling self. "Bella, you have to realize this is the chance of a lifetime. You have always said how you had hoped to travel after high school and college, but never had the time or money for it. Now you get to do it all, and on the _Herald's _dime! This is really going to be amazing, baby girl."

I bit my bottom lip. _Ugh. _No one understood my hesitation. Even telling Ben all about Edward Cullen and his boorish ways would only guarantee a shrill screech and a "Go pounce that dick, B-baby!" Of course, no matter how enticing the unsettling—but smoking hot—man was, I knew he did not like me one bit. So, it wouldn't make a difference how I felt about the situation.

"I saw the band the other night, with Rose and Ali. They are really good." He nodded, trying to keep up with my tale—as confusing as it was. "Jasper Hale, Rose's brother, is the keyboardist. Rose went out with Emmett, the drummer, on Tuesday."

"I'm sorry, baby, but I just don't follow what the problem really is, beyond the obvious issue of leaving for a year. I will miss you, a lot."

Huffing in frustration, I surrendered. "The lead singer is a gorgeous god who thinks I'm the slime on his shoe. I swear I wanted to jump his bones the minute he looked at me, but—" Ben interrupted my narrative with gleeful clapping, but I raised my hand to stop him.

"—_But_, a split second later he was glaring at me, like I was the devil himself. Then, on Wednesday, he walked into a bar I was at with some co-workers, bought me a vodka cranberry—which he had memorized by the way—and told me we 'shouldn't be friends.' After that, he mentioned that he wanted to chat with me before I followed them on their tour. I didn't even know it was their band until that very moment! Now, I'm stressed over the entire situation!" The words rushed from my mouth like a tidal wave.

Ben had the decency to keep his mouth closed this time. I refilled our wine glasses as he contemplated the situation. We both picked at our food in silence. Suddenly, a thought occurred to me and I knew it would alleviate the despondent mood.

"So, I have a new assistant. Tall, russet skin, straight black hair..." He raised an eyebrow at me, curious as to where this was going. "He has more muscles than I can count, though I would really like to try..." I trailed off, hoping he would take the bait.

Just like that, we were back to normal. We spent the rest of the evening laughing over the stupidest things and getting tipsy with a second bottle of wine. Ben joined Rose, Alice, and me at the club that night. Drinking away the worries until my mind was a fuzzy haze, I enjoyed the time I had left with my friends before my assignment began.

**Well, what did you think?! **

**Please leave me a review, it would mean so much to me!**


	7. Amigone

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognized characters are property of their respective owners. This story and all original characters are property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Special thanks to my betas, hammongirl and starpower31! Thank you, ladies. Shout out to my pre-reader, 2loveybunnies; you rock! **

**The song for this chapter is "Amigone" by The Goo Goo Dolls. Enjoy!**

_**Please review. It would really make my day. :) **_

"Amigone"

BPOV

I took extra care with my preparations on Tuesday morning. Anna informed me that _Midnight Sun_ would be in at 10:00 a.m., so I had extra time to get ready before I was expected. Pairing my turquoise blazer with a yellow-striped dress and blue flats, I felt ready to conqueror the meeting. I pulled my hair up into a messy-ponytail—the hipster way of looking like you didn't try too hard—and made sure my makeup looked pristine.

When I entered the office, I sensed his presence before I saw him. Edward sat on the lobby sofa, shooting annoyed glares toward Jake—who was talking animatedly with Emmett. I wondered what his problem was. As soon as Edward saw me, he bolted upright and was beside me almost instantly.

"Good morning, Isabella," he said, flashing me a flirtatious smile that jolted my insides. _What had gotten into him?_ Trying to control my girlish reaction to his sexy grin, I offered a simple nod in acknowledgment and busied myself by putting my bag and notebook away.

"Edward," I said, finally looking up after my heart rate returned to normal. "I'm glad we can get this out of the way and get on with our professional relationship, since _friend_ship won't be an issue." My voice was laced with bitterness and sarcasm. I gave my inner-self a high-five for my boldness.

I saw something flash though his eyes before he quickly masked it. "Isabella," Edward murmured quietly. "Such a graceful name—" I raised my voice to protest any observances he wanted to make but he stopped me, "—for such a feisty woman. I wouldn't expect it from you."

My cheeks flamed. _The nerve of this man!_ Just when I had decided to be kind and keep a professional aspect to this situation, he went around saying rude things to me. I would have slapped him right there if it had not been for Anna calling out my name across the crowded room.

"Bella, we're in conference room two this morning. Mr. Varner says you have five minutes," Anna told me.

Looking back at Edward, I scooted around him and made my way toward the room. It wasn't until I had placed my laptop and cell phone down that I noticed that Jake had followed me. He placed a hand on my arm, halting me.

"Bells, are you doing okay?" he asked in his soft, deep voice; concern filled his eyes. How could he possibly tell that I was upset and uncomfortable around Edward? Did he know me that well already, or was I just terrible at hiding my reactions?

Blinking a few times to regain control of my emotions, I placed my palm against his flannel-covered chest. His muscles flexed under my fingers.

"Thanks, Jake," I told him, a small smile tugging at my lips. "I'm just ready to get this show on the road... literally. I'm getting a little anxious since it's coming down to a bit over a week before we leave, and we're only _now_ finding out about the band." At least there were partial truths in between the lies.

The men meandered into the room. "Holy shit," Jasper exclaimed after laying eyes on me. "_You're _the journalist coming on tour with us, Bella?" Biting my lip, I nodded and offered a small smile.

Emmett picked me up off the ground, twirling me around. The room was spinning when he placed me back on my feet. "How long have you known, little girl?" Emmett asked, laughing. "We just saw you yesterday and you didn't say a goddamn thing!"

I chanced a look at Edward, who stared impassively at me. I shrugged and laughed along with Emmett. "Well, Edward actually told me, so you can take that up with him," I said, trying to take the focus off of me.

"Does Rosie know yet?" he asked me, grinning wildly. I shook my head. Emmett turned to his bandmates. "Well, hot damn. I can't believe we get this _hottie_ on the road with us for a whole year! I was expecting someone like—" _Dick_ entered the room at that moment and I quickly moved to take my seat beside him. I heard Emmett whisper to Jasper, "—someone like _him_."

I snickered silently to myself.

"All right," Varner began once everyone was seated. "I'm Richard Varner, editor-in-chief. We're pleased to have the opportunity to tour with your band. We hope you become a great success."

Next, he pointed to me. "This is Bella Swan," he said. "But don't call her _Isabella_, or she might have your balls on a silver platter."

I blushed furiously and my eyes flew to Edward. He seemed to be trying to hold in laughter. Somehow, Edward always managed to call me "Isabella," but I had yet to reprimand him. Perhaps now he would know better.

_Dick_ went on to introduce Jake and then jumped right to business. We discussed the plans for the tour: show dates, lodging, where interviews would take place, and how much access Jake and I would have to band. I was surprised to find out they actually had a tour bus and were not living out of a Volkswagen van. Then again, "Hale money" should never surprise me; they bought whatever comforts they deemed necessary, and this tour would be no exception.

Varner explained to the band that I would be blogging about each concert the morning after, and each Sunday would have a featured column in the paper. We would post their tour schedule and the link to their website along with each of my blog entries. Varner had pushed for weekly interviews and an interview after each concert, but the band members thought that was a little excessive. We settled on a monthly interview with each bandmate; they were also open to working with me for more interviews, whenever I deemed it necessary.

Jake and I would fly into Boston, where the first stop on the tour would take place. After the first few nights and the first concert, we would join the band on their tour bus. It had one bedroom, which the men graciously offered to me. When the tour settled in a city for more than one night, I would be free to get a hotel room for the stay. _Thank you, God!_

Jointly, we agreed that the only things that would be on-the-record were the things said during the interviews and snippets of what "life on the road" was like. They were under no contract with us, therefore, it was up to me to make sure this worked out. I happily agreed not to post any negative or disparaging content about their band. However, I would write as honestly as possible about the quality of their music (which I already knew to be fantastic), and if there were any damaging things that I witnessed, I would have to think long and hard about reporting it. I settled it easily in my mind: If it was unrelated to their music, then I would try to avoid it.

The band provided us with a list of the songs and lyrics from their Extended Play record before Varner finally decided we had enough to run with.

When everyone exited the conference room, I began gathering up my things. I almost jumped out of my skin when Edward suddenly sat down on the table beside me.

"So, I'm not allowed to call you _Isabella?_" he asked me with a huge, panty-melting grin. "You have such a beautiful name, I would hate to not to be able to use it."

Dropping my things back to the table, I propped a hand on my hip and lifted my most threatening _Scarlett O'Hara_-eyebrow. "Actually, I prefer it if you didn't."

Pretending to be shocked, his smile fell and his hands flew to his heart. "You wound me, Ms. Swan."

I struggled to not let the stupid grin spread across my face. I gnawed on the insides of my cheeks and blinked several times, attempting to control my emotions. Finally, I told him, "You wouldn't want your balls to end up on a silver platter, now would you?"

I knew I had said the wrong thing when the sly grin returned to his face. _Shit._ "Why, _Isabella_," he said, accentuating my name. "Where would you prefer my balls? There are a number of places I think we would both enjoy them much more than on some silly platter."

A gasp escaped my lips. Wide-eyed and speechless, I scrambled for my things and made a mad-dash for the door before he had time to stop me. _Had he really tried to flirt with me?_ _He is deranged!_

After depositing my belongings back on my desk, I didn't stop moving until I had made it to the ladies room. He was going to be impossible to handle. Hot one day and cold the next, Edward Cullen had my head in pretzel-knots. I allowed myself a few minutes to cool off, fanning the burn in my cheeks.

When I returned to the main office, Jake was speaking heatedly with Edward in the conference room. Seeming to sense my return, they both looked up at me and quickly moved away from each other. Jake said something else to Edward, causing him to pause and look up at me once more. He nodded slowly.

"I'm sure we'll see you in the next few days, Bells," Jasper told me, giving me a little side-squeeze. I forced my attention to him.

"Um, yeah," I mumbled. "Hey, thanks for being good sports about this. I'm glad you two don't mind that I'll be there. Hopefully Edward will come around to it, also."

Emmett snorted. "I don't think you'll have to worry about Edward. I'm sure he's completely, fucking stoked to have yo—" Jasper elbowed him in the ribs, cutting him off sharply.

Confused, I looked over to where Edward had been standing in the conference room; he was no longer there. My eyes scanned the room for him, finally landing on his figure pounding the elevator's down button. He obviously had many issues with me, though I had no idea what they might be. He hadn't even said goodbye. This was going to be more difficult than I had imagined.

_Damn it, why did I even care so much? _Unfortunately, I already knew the answer to that question. He was under my skin whether I liked it or not. Excusing myself and saying my goodbyes, I rushed back to the ladies room. This time, it was to dry my brimming eyes and fix my running mascara.

When I finally got around to telling Rose and Alice about my new column—when I knew that I would really be doing it—they were ecstatic for me. I had invited them out for Thai food to celebrate—everything went down easier with a little coconut curry.

"I can't believe you get to spend a year with the band, Bella!" Alice said, pouting at me. I knew she was only half teasing. Surely, she didn't want to see Jasper or myself heading out on tour. I still had to find out what was going on between them. She had effectively avoided me since the night of the foot-molestation incident.

"Well, just think, Ali," I told her, attempting to reassure her. "Now, you and Rose will have to come out to visit all the big cities we stop in. It will be awesome! It's going to be the vacation we always talked about, and you'll get to see Rose's boyfriend and Jasper rocking everyone's world." I shot Rose a wink over Alice's head when she sighed.

That led me right into the next topic we needed to tackle. "Speaking of boyfriends, Ali, where is Pete tonight?"

The guilty look that spread over my friend's face was telling. She nibbled on her lip, pushing the Pad Thai around her plate. "Ali, what happened?" I cringed, waiting to hear her response. I was well aware of her blatant flirting with Jasper and their obvious interest in each other, but I never expected Alice Brandon to do something she might regret—something that might hurt Peter.

"Well, Peter and I... decided to take a break for a while," Alice finally provided, keeping her eyes down. "You know, he spends a lot of time traveling between here and Canada, so I figured we could use a little space for now."

I looked at Rose and she shrugged heavily, rolling her eyes; she already knew what I did not. My suspicions were likely right on. "So this has nothing to do with Rosalie's big brother?" I asked bluntly. Her teeth dug so deeply into her lower lip, blood was surely ready to be drawn.

Finally, Alice glanced up and met my eyes. "Fine," she said, sighing in exasperation with an undertone of anger. "I fucked Jasper! Is that what you really wanted to know, Bella?"

"Hey, hey, hey! T. M. I., Mary Alice Brandon!" Rosalie exclaimed in mock horror. Surely, we had learned enough about Rose's sex life over the past few years that nothing was shocking anymore. None of us would ever need to read trashy romance novels ever again, thanks to the details we had discussed as a group.

Sighing, I took Ali's hand in my own. "Look, I'm sorry I pushed. And I'm also sorry it isn't working with Pete. I know he is head over heels for you—" She attempted to interrupt, but I continued, "—but I want you to be happy. You said he was gone with work all the time, but Jasper will be gone for a year on this tour. I don't want you to get hurt, honey."

Her little arms flew around my neck, almost knocking me out of my chair. "Thanks for watching out for me, Bells. I don't know what I'm going to do yet, anyway. Jasper wants a serious relationship, but Peter and I are just on a break for now. But I love you, girl. Thank you."

"Speaking of boyfriends, Bella," Rose interjected, stealing my own words and effectively changing the subject. "What's going on between you and that hot assistant? Or you and Edward Cullen, for that—"

"Why would anything be going on with Edward and me, Rosalie?" I asked, annoyed and ready to pounce.

Rose flipped her long hair over her shoulder and sipped her Thai iced tea before answering nonchalantly. "Look, I've just had some inquires into whether or not you were seeing anyone. I told them you weren't, and I hope that I was right?"

My jaw dropped open. I loved her, but damn the nerve of that girl! "Who, by chance, was asking these questions, Rosalie Hale?"

Her answering snort told me that she would not be letting me in on the secret. Suddenly, it seemed I could not leave for the tour soon enough.

"So, what exactly do you need to do in the next week?" Alice asked in between bites. "You leave so soon."

I nodded in agreement. "You're right; there is so much to do. I've already packed my luggage, and that was the main thing. That reminds me though... Rose?"

Rosalie arched her eyebrow at me without looking up from her cell that now occupied her hands. "I was going to ask you to housesit for me."

Instantly, I had her full attention. "Have you asked Ben?"

"He's busy—new man, new bill in proposed before Congress. You know how it is with him." I put on my best puppy-dog look and pouted. "Please, Rosie? I wouldn't ask if I thought someone else would be able to do it. I'll give you whatever you want."

It was the truth. Though she had been my first choice, Alice wouldn't be able to housesit for me all the way in Capitol Hill and make it to her job at a decent time. Traffic would be working against her. Princess Rosalie however, needed to do these things every once in a while—come out of the Hale Manor and mingle with the "common folk."

Her defeated sigh caused me to grin widely. "Fine, Bella Swan," Rose conceded. "But I want full access to your liquor cabinet... and a _daily_ picture of Emmett McCarty."

Alice and I burst into laughter. My liquor cabinet was legendary; it was the least I could do. "All right, Rose. I really appreciate it." She waved her hand in acknowledgement, already engrossed with her phone once again.

I spent the rest of the lunch hanging out with my favorite girls and contemplating how much I would miss them. My confidence was high as I reprocessed the meeting in my mind. I was a superior writer and would embrace my new path with open arms.

**So... What did you think? We're THISCLOSE to leaving for the tour. Almost there, I promise. **

_**Please leave me a review. It would absolutely make my day! :)**_


	8. Closing Time

Disclaimer: All publicly recognized characters are property of their respective owners. This story and all original characters are property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.

Special thanks to my betas, hammongirl and starpower31! Thank you, ladies. Shout out to my pre-reader, 2loveybunnies; you rock!

The song for this chapter is "Closing Time" by Semisonic. Enjoy!

_**Please review. It would really make my day. :) If I got one review for every person who read this story, I would be in HEAVEN! Please, PLEASE leave me a line. :) :) :)**_

_"Closing Time"_

BPOV

I found a free sofa at the swanky coffee shop around the corner from my loft. The sofas were plush and overstuffed, perfect for getting comfy and doing some work. The Beatles played over the sound system, singing of an octopus and the sea. I had always loved the little shop for its eclectic atmosphere.

In the past few days since meeting with _Midnight Sun_, Jake and I had been putting many extra hours on the clock in research and planning. When Jasper had slid a stack of their lyrics to us, they were not at all what I expected them to be. There was acertain bitterness to them, a sorrow. It was not something I had noticed while I sat in the club that night, mesmerized by Edward's voice. After I read through their lyrics, I searched the American Society of Composers, Authors, and Publishers for _Midnight Sun's _songs. I was surprised to find _Edward Cullen_ listed as the writer of most of the pieces.

_Don't speak _

_Your words won't help me anymore_

_Cut off the connection_

_Leave me to bleed in the street _

_I watch you dissolve away_

_Not even a glance backward _

_For all the years I spent on my knees,_

_There you go, leaving me anyway_

_Heaven is never gonna take me home_

_Heaven isn't even close to where I am_

It was bordering on depressing. I wondered how deep of a connection he had with his lyrics. Truly, his voice alone was filled with raw emotion. Adding lyrics pulled from the deepest recesses of his mind made it more fascinating to me; I was intrigued. Perhaps there was more to Edward than I gave him credit for...

Setting down a steaming cup of hot peppermint tea before me, Jake took a spot to my right.

"So what do you think of the lyrics?" he asked quietly, trying not to disturb other patrons.

Relaying my previous thoughts to him, I left out the part about Edward beguiling me. "There's something strangely dark and edgy about the way that they play. Have you seen them live yet?"

He shook his head. "No, but I know they're playing at _The Crocodile_ tomorrow. Maybe we should go see them?"

I nodded hesitantly. The last time I had witnessed their performance, I'd been left in shambles—confused, angry, and ridiculously turned on. On the other hand, I would be seeing much more of them in the next year, so accustoming myself to their playing—and neutralizing myself to Edward's voice—might be a good idea.

We both popped open our MacBook Pro laptops at the same moment. I laughed and he shot me a wink. Apparently, the last few weeks of working together caused us to behave alike, anticipating each other's next move. I smiled to myself. Together, we'd spent many of the past few nights working late. I had learned how attentive and helpful he was. It would be so easy with Jake. Unfortunately, he was also my assistant and the rational part of my brain said that was a deal-breaker.

"Okay." I took a deep breath, staring up from my computer and out the window in front of me, into the darkening evening. "What do we have on the band members' backgrounds so far?"

Shuffling next to me, Jake pulled out a small notebook and flipped it open. "Well, let's see... Emmett McCarty is thirty-two. He's a small town kid from Tennessee. His family is still there.

"_The Barebacks_, a country rock band from Nashville, discovered him. He toured with them for about a couple of years before they broke up; it looks like he jumped right into _Midnight Sun_.

"He was engaged to a pretty brunette, named Christy, during the time he was touring with _The Barebacks_. I guess they were high school sweethearts. When their engagement was announced in a local Nashville newspaper, Emmett told them that she was the love of his life. He posted several things about their...healthy...sex life, on some chatrooms." I gave him an odd look. That was going a little far. We weren't working for a gossip magazine after all!

"Sorry," he said with a laugh. "Anyway, she ran off and married his brother, David, behind his back. Apparently, the two had been having a torrid love affair for years while Emmett toured. There are some angry women out there because of this whole thing; his fan-page has a blog-link dedicated just to hatin' on her. Poor girl. It seems that she's happily married to David, and they all get along well now. Emmett is even godfather to their five kids."

Wow. Emmett had quite a story. It was rather hilarious, though; it sort of reminded me of an episode of _Jerry Springer_. And I hadn't realized that Em had been through this whole shebang before—especially not with a much more famous band. At least he knew what to expect. Since we got along so well, I had sincerely hoped he would be one of my biggest allies through this.

"Jasper Hale is twenty-nine. You obviously know some of his background. The Hale family fortune sent him to Berkley, right after high school. He was pre-med before he met Edward during their senior year." I nodded, letting him know I already knew that much, thanks to my association with Rosalie.

"Edward is thirty. He's originally from Chicago, though he left when he was a minor so records have been a bit hard to locate. I couldn't find anything on 'Edward Cullen' before he was seventeen."

Well, that was completely confusing; even the way Jake had said it sounded odd. My mind began to wander. _Maybe he'd had a record as a juvenile and the court had sealed it?_ That might make sense, especially when I thought of that terrible scowl of his. I could picture him as a delinquent—probably a drug dealer! _Hmmm._

Jake apparently sensed the wheels turning in my head when he shot out a hand and grabbed my wrist, forcing me to look at him.

"But," Jake said, continuing cautiously, "that's where I found the record of a Los Angeles address, in Beverly Hills. The address is registered to Carlisle and Esme Cullen. He is a plastic surgeon and she is a 'B-list' actress who was fairly popular in the mid-1980s."

"Okay, so they're his parents?" I asked with a laugh. "He must have moved from Chicago as a little boy." It figured he came from the pretentious Beverly Hills; it certainly explained the attitude. "Jake... I know you're playing up the drama a bit here, but could you cut to the chase?" I rolled my eyes and waved my hand, encouraging him to get to the point.

"They were his parents beginning at age seventeen. Edward's parents—his _real_ parents—died when he was fourteen..." he told me, trailing off quietly.

I frowned: confused, saddened, guilty. I was also surprised at the sense of pain I felt for him. Despite his rude and brusque exterior, he was obviously hurt.

That must have been incredibly difficult to deal with, even all these years later. It was no wonder why his lyrics were so deep. Pain caused the most profound feelings in humanity. Even depressed and suffering people wrote some of the best literary works: Anne Sexton, Virginia Woolf, Ernest Hemingway.

Jake took a sip of his own tea before continuing with the results of his research. "Edward is actually Edward _Masen_. He added the surname Cullen after he was adopted; though he chose to hyphenate it then, he only goes by 'Edward Cullen,' now.

"Elizabeth and Edward, Sr., were murdered on September 8, 1995."

His life was unfolding before me in the worst sort of ways. Tears welled up in my eyes for this sad, angry man whom I did not even truly know. In my mind, I saw a young teenager with unruly bronze hair, mourning the loss of his parents much too early in his life. What a tragedy.

"Apparently, Edward, Sr., was a district attorney who was prosecuting a kingpin from the Chicago underground. The same day the conviction came through, he and Elizabeth were killed. A _Chicago Times _article reported that Edward had stayed at a friend's house that night, while his parents were celebrating the results of the trial. A car bomb exploded in their driveway as they were leaving, taking most the house with it. Two neighbors were critically injured. If Edward had been in the house... Well, the roof caved in and crushed his entire bedroom. Thinking Edward was in there, rescuers looked through the rubble for over sixteen hours before the friend's mom brought him home."

_Oh, my god. _Tears were streaming freely down my face. I knew intimately of the fears of these kinds of situations. Not a day went by that I did not worry for my father as a policeman, but to have something so tragic happen to someone so incredibly young and fragile was unfathomable.

The worst of thoughts were flooding my mind. _What if Edward was in trouble?_ People like that—the mob, criminals—rarely let things go easily. I had learned that from my short stint on the crime beat, when I had assisted Matt Lawrence for a couple months after James left the paper.

"An article written a year and a half later," Jake continued, "says that the people responsible for the murders were given up as part of a plea deal in another prosecution case."

Jacob and I spent the next half hour in silence, typing questions for interviews and studying some of the venues we would be visiting. We contemplated the course of action we would take with this assignment, while trying to be considerate of the precarious background of our featured star. Surely, he did not need or want any attention drawn to this part of his life. But, perhaps I could come up with some way to allow him to open up about what had happened and then focus on his ability to rise above the pain of his past.

I made a mental note to apologize for my behavior toward him during the meeting. Despite the fact that he came off as rude, I still needed to be above it and professional.

The baristas collected our mugs, mopped the floors, and cleaned the windows in preparation for closing time. Jake and I gathered our belongings, deciding to take the next day off of research in order to finalize preparations for the first leg of the trip. Already planning to see their show the following night, there was little else we could do. We had only five days to make certain everything was set for our departure.

The first leg of the tour would last four weeks; it would be followed up by two separate three-week trips before the holidays set in. The bands had a week off for Christmas and New Year. In between each segment on the road, we would be able to come back to Seattle for a few days.

_Dick_ had originally been against Jake and I flying back and forth, but when Mr. Hale insisted upon it they suddenly found extra budgeting to bring us home. The band would usually be staying on the road during the shorter breaks, but they did have the option to make the quick trip back when they so desired.

I was glad we would not have to be on the road constantly for the whole year. Little breaks every month or so, would help my sanity. Still, there was much to do. After the holidays, our schedule would become much more demanding.

After we finally packed our computers and made our way out, Jake walked me to my car. I pulled out my cell phone to check the time. My eyes landed on the date and I gasped. The night of the concert with Rose and Ali was September 8—the anniversary of the death of Edward's parents! I silently berated myself for the assumptions I had made and the criticism I directed his way. The man had been mourning the loss of his family and I managed to take his scowl personally.

In five days we would be seeing each other constantly, and I promised myself I would make amends for the things I could change—the way I behaved and the hurtful things I had said. Edward Masen-Cullen would be cared for. I decided to make every effort to use my column to draw the attention to the band's amazing music and lyrics, where it belonged. From now on, I would not research or dig deeper into Edward's life. Hopefully he would open up to me, but if kindness was the only thing I could ever give him, I would do that much.

CS-CS

"Do you want something to drink, Bells?" Jake asked as we weaved our way through the crowd that had gathered in preparation for _Midnight Sun's_ appearance. Apparently, their reputation had preceded them. I couldn't blame anyone for being there; the band was fantastic. A thrill of excitement shot through me. The thought of getting to spend time with them on tour, watching them play live as often as I knew I would, was exhilarating.

I smiled up to Jake. "Can I have a Grey Goose and cranberry, please?" He winked at me, turning back to make his way to the bar. Damn it, he was good looking in his signature snug jeans and black T-shirt.

The lights began to fade around me and the band took the stage through the shadows. The same thrill electrified me when Edward's rich voice pierced the dark room. The words he sang into the dark were about the same emotional trauma I had read of. It all made sense to me now. As the stage lights slowly brightened, the room erupted in cheers and the instruments joined Edward's singing.

A drink held by a large, dark hand appeared in front of my face. I giggled as I grabbed it and took a large gulp. Jake stood behind me. Angling my head slightly upwards, I managed to watch him. He downed a double shot of tequila, and then another in quick succession.

We listened for a while, just enjoying the music. Beside me, Jake had moved on to his second Seven and Seven. I hoped he would slow down a little, though a big man like him could probably drink twice as much without feeling it. Well, maybe not. He swayed slightly and blinked heavily.

"Are you okay, Jake?" I asked. He nodded hesitantly, his Adam's-apple bobbing up and down in his throat. Slowly, he leaned toward me. I quirked my eyebrow, questioning what he was up to. However, my attention was suddenly captured by a beautiful, new song playing from the stage.

It was different from any other I had heard, or any lyrics I had read by them. It wasn't happy, not jovial by any means, but it showed that he was alive and able to feel more than he led everyone to believe. Edward sang of a beautiful girl who needed to smile more often, who needed to let go and let him have his way with her. The sting of jealousy shot through me, thinking of him writing a song about a woman in his life.

I washed the jealousy away with my drink as I watched Emmett and Jasper—desperately trying to not focus on Edward. When I did find my eyes wandering over him, I was flattened by the sight of him rocking-out to his own music. The way he pressed his lips against the microphone made me lick my own lips in anticipation. It was incredibly arousing to watch him up there, the way he picked and strummed the strings.

Jake's warm breath tickled my ear. "I haven't seen the lyrics for this one; must be new." I nodded earnestly, trying to distract myself from the lust-driven comatose state of my mind—all thanks to watching Edward singing up there and Jake's warm, hard body that was suddenly pressed against mine. Gently, a cool finger moved a wave of my hair off my shoulder, replacing it with his warm breath. I froze in place, closing my eyes tightly. _Oh, God._

What in the world was he doing? Before I could turn my head to look back at him—whether it was to tell him to cease or to continue, I had not decided—I felt his soft lips touch my neck. My eyes shot open, focusing straight into the familiar emerald of Edward's steely gaze. Fuck, this was so familiar. He scowled the same way he had done the first night, only this time it was not directed at me. His gaze flashed over my shoulder to Jake, who continued to plant openmouthed kisses on my neck and even flicked his tongue out to taste my shoulder.

Swiftly, I turned to question Jake, but his next kiss landed directly on the corner of my mouth. Just as quickly, his fingers curled around the back of my neck and pulled me in to meet his mouth. Jake's kiss was ferocious and unyielding; his tongue slipped into my mouth before I had a chance to say a word. When he pulled back for a moment to catch his breath, I chanced a glance back to the stage. Fire seemed to pour from Edward. His nostrils flared and he grabbed the microphone, spinning around and placing his back to us.

Taken off guard, I looked back to Jake. His eyes were glassy and bloodshot from the alcohol, his pupils wide and body over stimulated. And speaking of over stimulated, when he pulled me back in and crushed me against his chest, I felt his thick arousal against my stomach. As his lips began to descend back to mine, I put my hand against them to stop his advance.

"I need to use the ladies room," I shouted to him over the now thunderous music from the stage. He seemed to snap out of his stupor. Blinking rapidly, Jake released me from his hold and I managed to bolt towardthe restrooms. I didn't even gamble a look in Edward's direction.

When I reached the restroom, I locked the door behind me and leaned heavily against it. The energy in that room was too much for me. Jake was pulling me in one direction, and now I knew he was obviously attracted to me. He could provide something I had missed out on in the past few months; nights of sex and fun did not sound half bad. I had never reported James for sexual harassment, and I trusted that Jake would never do that to me. But, he was my coworker—my assistant.

Edward, in the same instance, was pulling me in another direction. The attraction I had for him was more intense than anything I had for Jake. However, his obvious dislike for me was disturbing and unsettling. I knew he could never give me what I really wanted, beyond wall-pounding sex. He had too much of his own baggage for me to get tangled up in. Yet, I had felt guilty when he witnessed Jake kissed me out there and I wasn't entirely sure why.

I waited for several more minutes, praying my nerves would settle. Splashing water on my face, I took a few deep breaths before unlocking the door and heading back out. I must have been in the restroom for quite awhile because the band had stopped playing and people ambled around—most of them headed toward the bar. When I arrived at my spot beside Jake, I found him in an animated conversation with a couple of familiar faces. Emmett and Jasper smiled as I approached.

"Ah-ha! Bells!" Emmett grabbed me around my waist, pulling me to stand beside them. I laughed aloud at his antics. _Great._ _Another giant calling me by the same nickname. _"We saw your little lip-lock from the stage and had to come meet the dude. I didn't realize it was Jake—it was too dark to tell." _Oh geez. _

"You know," he continued, "I asked Rosie, and she doesn't think you're seeing anyone. So, I don't know how girly-talk works but you should really tell her about muscles, here."

Jake grinned widely until I shot him a "don't you dare" look, effectively shutting down his smile. "Emmett," I spoke sternly, untangling myself from his grip. "Jake and I are coworkers. We aren't seeing each other."

Nodding in agreement with me, Jake managed to blush and look slightly ashamed of himself. Apparently, Jake hadn't realized what a show he had just put on for the entire bar.

"And, Emmett McCarty?" I asked, pointing my finger into his large chest. "What do you mean you 'asked Rosie' if I was seeing someone? Why are you two so interested in my sex life?" Jake coughed loudly beside me, and I shot him a glare; was he a ten-year-old who couldn't handle that word?

It was the second time in a week that people had asked about my dating and love life—the first was Rose, and now Emmett. The two were obviously up to something, but I had yet to figure out what it was all about.

"Hey, I was just asking." Emmett threw his arms up in surrender. "I've been asked a few times, and Rose insisted that you were single. I know that Edw—"

"Jazz, Em, we need to pack up the truck." I whirled around when I heard the velvet voice coming from directly behind me. Gone was the steel and ice; instead it was replaced with warmth and fire. "Hello, Isabella."

I gulped around the knot that suddenly found itself lodged in my throat. "Edward."

A large hand found its way around my shoulder, and I knew by the look that washed over Edward's face that it was not Emmett this time. Jake stuck his other hand out to Edward. "You guys sounded awesome up there."

Edward finally forced his gaze from mine, slowly accepting the hand offered to him. "Thanks, Jacob," he said. I could tell by Jake's slight flinch that Edward must have squeezed his hand fairly tightly.

"Emmett, Jazz," said Edward when he finally dropped Jake's hand, flexing and cracking his knuckles. "Let's get the truck loaded. We have an early day tomorrow." They both looked quizzically at him, so he answered their unvoiced question. "We need to get the bus cleaned up so this one—" he pointed at me "—doesn't have to live in a pigsty."

Suddenly, I found myself lifted off the ground by Emmett's beefy arms. He whooped, spinning me in circles until I was sufficiently dizzy. When my feet registered the floor, the entire room spun in front of me. I reached out to steady myself, managing only to tumble right into Edward's arms.

Catching me easily, he held me against his chest until I managed to steady my feet. His arms—wrapped around my lower back—gently released me before trailing up my sides, brushing over the edges of my breasts, and up my arms. Tingles broke out all over my skin. I shivered in his arms, desire flooding my body. It would be so easy to lift my hands into his hair and pull his face to mine.

When his warm hands stopped on my shoulders, I looked up at him. His eyes met mine and flickered down to my mouth, which parted on its own accord. My tongue snuck out to wet my lips. Edward inhaled sharply. He wanted me as well! It was the first time I noticed it. Though it was a fleeting moment of lust, it had been there.

"Well, I'm fucking excited that you're going to be with us on the road, Bells!" I blushed brightly as Emmett managed to break through our little bubble. Edward blinked several times and jerked his hands away from my body as though I had burned him. I felt empty and chilled at the sudden loss of contact.

Confusion soared through me. I looked from Jake to Edward; both men tried to hold my gaze with eyebrows knit together in uncertainty. _What on earth was going on here?_ Tearing my eyes away from both of them, I nodded goodbye to Jasper and Emmett.

"I'll see you this weekend." As soon as the words left my mouth, I made abeeline for the exit and didn't look back. When I made it to the curb and hailed a taxi cab, I felt a presence behind me.

"Look, Jake, I think I'll head home and get some sleep. I'll see you tomor—"

"I'm sorry." I spun around, realizing that it was not Jake behind me at all. Indeed, Edward Cullen, himself, had followed me out to the street. "I'm sorry, Isabella... Bella ... about what I said at the bar the other day."

"Edward," I said, sighing in exasperation and bewilderment. "Why did you follow me out here?"

"Look... I just—I shouldn't have said it. I'm sorry." As quickly as he had appeared, he turned around and ambled back toward the door, leaving me to stare after him. I was even more confused than I was before.

The taxi pulled up a moment later. I tore my gaze from his retreating silhouette and slipped inside the cab, brushing off the unease I felt roiling in my stomach.

_**Please leave me a review. It would absolutely make my day! :)**_

_Who is ready for Edward to get a clue already?! _

_Leave me a review, my loves!_


	9. Raise Your Glass

Disclaimer: All publicly recognized characters are property of their respective owners. This story and all original characters are property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.

Special thanks to my betas, hammongirl and starpower31! Thank you, ladies. Shout out to my pre-reader, 2loveybunnies; you rock!

The song for this chapter is "Raise Your Glass" by P!nk. Enjoy!

_**Please review. It would really make my day. :) If I got one review for every person who read this story, I would be in HEAVEN! Please, PLEASE leave me a line. :) :) :)**_

"Raise Your Glass"

BPOV

"Jake, look," I told him, pulling the phone away from my face for a moment to check the hour. We didn't have time for the long, drawn-out apologies. "I understand it was the alcohol. Don't stress about it anymore. I don't want this to affect either of our jobs, do yo—"

"Oh, God," Jake interrupted me. "Bells, I didn't even think of that. I just really like you and I sort of let that overrule my logical thinking. I am so, so sorr—"

"Jacob!" I shouted into the phone. "Enough! I get it. It's not a big deal at all. Please stop. We have way too much to do before we leave; let's stop focusing on something that happened when we were drinking. It's seriously not a problem."

He paused for a few moments. Finally, he asked, "Is it still all right for me to come out with your friends tonight?"

"As long as you stop apologizing," I told him, laughing, and hung up the phone. I had invited everyone out to send me off in style. And I had asked him to join us several days earlier, prior to the kissing incident at _The Crocodile_, since he had no family in the area. Jake's friends had thrown him a surprise going-away party several days earlier, which he went on and on about it when I had invited him out with us.

As a parting gift for the trip, Alice and Rosalie presented me with a beautiful, teal colored, deep V-neck boho-dress, red heels, and a beautiful, magenta scarf-headband. I looked like I had walked out of the 1970s—it was perfect. The two of them took my Bohemian heritage very seriously, encouraging me to dress like the gypsy they chalked me up to be. And in all reality, I _would_ be that gypsy over the next year—constantly moving from town to town and never settling down. The very thought excited me.

When the five of us arrived at _Twilight Moon_ and found an empty booth with pillows for reclining, we ordered a large peach hookah to share. The smoke filled my lungs, but it did not take away the ache in my chest. I would really miss seeing Ben and the girls on a regular basis.

I had planned on sticking to cranberry and soda water, knowing I would be sufficiently buzzed from the hookah and that hangovers on a plane were the absolute worst. I would probably be able to sleep on the plane though,and for that, I was very grateful. Thankfully, once we got to the east coast, we would be driving with the band on their tour instead of flying from city to city. I was not a huge fan of taking to the air.

"So, remind me which city is the first on the tour stop, Bells?" Alice asked me after downing a shot of tequila. I laughed aloud at the hilarious face she made because of the bitter taste. Why was everyone suddenly calling me "Bells?" Well, except for Edward... I was only _Isabella_ to him. _That asshole. _

"Ali, how drunk are you?" Rose admonished. "How can you forget that they're going to Boston?" I had been so excited to visit the east coast. The only time I'd been there was when I'd gone on a school trip to the Big Apple in tenth grade. Scary enough, that had been only a few months before the September eleventh attacks. After that, Charlie had refused to allow me to go back east again.

"Ugh!" Alice whined, pointing between Jake and I. "I am so jealous of you two!"

I glanced at Jake, and he smiled suggestively at me. He was definitely getting a little buzzed...again. I knew he wanted me to invite him back to my loft for a bit of fun; I could read it in his eyes, feel it in the way his body subconsciously leaned toward mine. But I shook my head at the thought as soon as it entered my mind. I knew mixing work with pleasure was not a good idea. My experience with that should have been enough to purge the thought out of my head forever. Yet, I still allowed myself to entertain it whenever Jake and alcohol mixed. Perhaps sometime on the tour I would let my guard down enough to be able to revisit the idea, but I doubted it.

After that kiss two nights before, I'd been in a constant state of confusion on the topic. Did I want Jake Black? Definitely. He was like your favorite dessert—you can only pass it up so many times before you give in. And hopefully if I ever did give in, it would fulfill whatever carnal need I had and then I would be done. No emotion, no relationship—just orgasms; that was all I needed. But what about Edward? I desired him more than anyone I'd ever met in my life, yet he brushed me aside and sent me mixed signals. I needed to clear my head of both of these men. Unfortunately, that was not a viable option since I would be working with both of them for the entire year.

We ordered a huge plate of hummus and falafels to share. Something about the salty goodness of chickpeas and tahini put me in a happy mood. A double shot of tequila sat untouched in front of me, waiting and tempting me with its clear, frosty goodness.

While everyone ate and drank to their buzzed contentment, I decided to head to the ladies room. There was a bit of a wait thanks to a girl puking her guts out on her twenty-first birthday, but after seeing and smelling the vomit in the room, I decided I really didn't have to pee as badly as I thought and went back to our table. More people were crowded around the booth than when I had left it.

Emmett and Jasper each sat next to their special girl. Chairs had been deposited around the table to allow for the extra bodies, and Jake had scooted a seat over to make room. That left me in between him and..._Edward Cullen_. _Ugh, shoot me now._ _The universe must hate me tonight._

As I approached the table, Jake stood to pull out a chair for me. But Edward was quicker. I stilled instantly. Both of these god-like men—one dark beauty and the other sculpted perfection—stood waiting upon me, Bella Swan. _Had hell frozen over during my ten minute trip to the restroom?_

Confusion radiated around the table. Looking at the faces of my friends, I realized they were as mystified as I. Rosalie's blonde eyebrow was arched in question, and Alice barely contained a gasp and squeal. She looked ready to start clapping, but cut it off quickly when I flashed her a snarl. Jasper simply looked between Edward, Jacob, and I, seemingly confounded. Emmett sat with a huge grin plastered to his face.

Instead of sitting or acknowledging either of the men beside me, I spun around and rushed to the bar. It was most definitely time for some strong liquor. The dark-haired bartender sidled over to me and leaned against the solid-oak bar in full flirtation mode. Rolling my eyes internally, I put on my sexiest smirk for him and rested my arms over the bar—forcing my cleavage more fully together. Maybe I would be able to get a free drink out of this; at the very least, that might make this clusterfuck turn out a bit nicer.

"Hey, my name is Sam. What are you having, doll?" the bartender asked with what was surely supposed to be a smoldering, seductive gaze. Flipping my long hair over my shoulder and pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, I leaned in—a vampire ready to strike upon helpless and unsuspecting prey.

I did not get the chance however. The man's eyes widened at something behind me and he took a step backward.

"She'll take a cranberry and Grey Goose."

Edward. _Ugh._ I could not get away from him and his alcohol-stalker ways. Sighing loudly in exasperation, I turned toward the intruder.

Of course, Edward absolutely took my breath away. How any man could be so gorgeous was inconceivable. He had such a style about him; his slate, tweed jacket, dark-washed blue jeans, black _Ramones_ T-shirt, and blue, plaid scarf only accentuated his already striking features. Edward was so gorgeous. Though I recognized that my attraction to him was a mere distraction—a trap which drew me in to its abyss and each time made it more difficult to climb out. I was sliding into the darkness, but I didn't even have any alcohol in my system yet.

"Look, Edward," I told him after I had gained my composure. "I'm not really in the mood for this tonight."

He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off. "We're going to be seeing quite a lot of each other during the tour, so please don't make it any more difficult than it has to be. I know that we aren't going to be _friends_; I'm well aware of your stipulation. Can you just let me enjoy this last night, before I'm around you for months straight? After that, you can go back to avoiding me at all costs?"

He stood quietly as I finished my rant, patiently waiting for the onslaught to cease. When he finally spoke, his voice was deep, husky, and cryptic. "I don't think I could stay away if I tried." Edward spun around and he was gone. Again. _How does he do that?_

I was left in stupefied astonishment and uncertainty. When the bartender returned, I quickly ordered a double shot of whiskey and downed it, hoping the liquor might help to fuzz the jumbled lines in my mind. I drank my cranberry and vodka as quickly as I could, making sure to get another before I headed back. The burn quickly faded into a haze; perfect.

"Ah, there she is!" Ben said happily, as I approached the table.

I raised an eyebrow. "I hadn't realized I was missing?"

A smirk lifted Ben's mouth until his entire face resembled a giant Cheshire cat—grinning and conniving. What was he up to?

"We're talking about favorite positions..." Ben trailed off. When I blinked at him in confusion, he proceeded. "You know, Bella: Sex."

_Oh geez. _

"So how about it, Bells? Are you a cowgirl kinda gal or more of a missionary one?" Alice asked me, giggling hysterically. I wanted to smack her and ruin her perfectly placed Chanel makeup.

_Ugh! _Whatever. I would allow my inhibitions to fly for just a moment. "It depends, I guess."

"On what?" Jake piped in, suddenly excited and interested—as though he were hanging on my next words. I glanced over to Edward who looked equally interested, though he tried to be nonchalant about it. Fine. I would play along and mess with their heads a little bit.

I leaned on the table between Jake and Edward. "Well," I whispered, pulling it out of thin air. "I'd rather have a guy just throw me on the bed, rip off my pants, and go down on me before anything else happens." Jake groaned, eyes glazed over and looking pained. I had to bite back a laugh when I continued. "But at the same time, nothing beats a thick, full cock in my mouth." A growl sounded from my left. A growl. Literally. Edward growled at me! It was completely erotic and was suddenly turning me on...big time. _Holy shit._

I blinked quickly, trying my hardest to break the spell caused by that growl. I straightened quickly and told the group, "I guess I'll go with a '69.' So, I think I'm ready for another shot. You in, Rose?"

cS-Cs

_A strong, large hand slid up the sensitive skin of my inner thigh, finding purchase on my dripping sex. Two fingers brushed against me, testing my readiness. I was more than ready for him, and I didn't even need the vibrator to get me there. He was magnificent; no guy was that good. I hadn't been that turned on in years and certainly not that wet and eager._

_He licked my peaked nipple before blowing a breath of warm air over it. When his tongue glided over my collarbone, I arched my back, pressing my breasts into his hard chest._

_He entered me swiftly, stealing my breath. Allowing no pause for me to adjust, his thick cock pounded me relentlessly. Fingers skimmed over my breast, down to my hip, and over my pelvic bone where they finally drew lazy circles over my aching clit. A deep moan escaped me, and I felt his smile against my neck. _

_"Look at me," he whispered. I lifted my eyes to meet his. Dark-brown, chocolate eyes morphed into vibrant green. They were filled with lust and need. His expert thumb pressed down on my swollen clit, ripping the orgasm from me. _

_"Edward!" I cried into the night, but he slipped like smoke into the darkness. Where did he go? I looked around the room for him, aching to have him back inside of me. _

The sudden ringing in my ears was shrill and piercing._ What is that god-awful noise?_

My eyes flew open and I smacked the top of my vintage, windup alarm clock.

What in the hell was that? I'd just had the most illicit sex dream of my life, and it was about Edward-fucking-Cullen! It hadn't only been Edward, though; Jake Black's face had transformed into Edward's. The apex of my thighs still ached with that tender, post-orgasmic goodness.

Were wet dreams even possible for women? That was definitely a first for me. If I had not been forced to endure sitting between Edward and Jake the night before, I wouldn't have had that stupid dream. As it was, I tried to push it from my mind so I could get ready for my flight.

Four in the morning had come way too soon. There was no possible way that I had slept for three hours already. In fact, the last five days had flown by. I had managed to talk Rose into loft sitting for me, to which she had agreed begrudgingly. The bribery it took was fairly simple to manage. She was granted full access to my liquor cabinet, and I promised a daily picture of Emmett McCarty. He'd already agreed to model for the shots. She was arriving later that day to settle in, and I was glad I didn't have to worry about that now.

I called ahead for a cab and grabbed my bags, pulling them down the stairs with me. After throwing my things into the trunk, I relaxed into the seat. I let my mind wander over the night before. I wondered if I remembered it all as clearly as it seemed, or if it was liquor induced.

Of course, there I sat in the back of the cab, regretting that double shot of whiskey...and the cranberry and vodka...and the two shots of tequila, which I had proceeded to drink over the hour and a half following that run in with Edward.

He hadn't left after that either. Instead, he was as polite as could be expected, and even attempted to flirt with me here and there. Between Edward's confusing observations—from commenting on things I liked to knowing exactly how I preferred my alcohol—and Jacob's sudden possessiveness after our kiss a couple days before, I felt pulled in two different directions. Like the All I really wanted to do was to be left alone.

Ben had spent the evening shooting knowing glances between Edward, Jake, and I. I knew that look on his face. He was picturing all the fun ways I'd be able to enjoy these two gorgeous men—most likely together—if I knew my Benny. When I finally left hours later, Ben and I shared a cab to my loft.

"Do you want to talk about it, B?" he had asked, turning his tipsy self toward me. I shook my head vehemently, with a resounding "_No!_"

"This trip, B..." Ben slurred. "It's going to change your whole world."

Cryptic. "Sure Benny," I told him, "whatever you say." When I looked back, he had fallen asleep against the opposite window. Somehow, I had managed to get him up the stairs to my loft and onto the sofa. He remained asleep when I left for the airport in the early morning hours.

After the driver helped me get my bag out and I tipped him, I headed into the Sea-Tac Airport. Security was easy enough to navigate. I made certain to dress comfortably in my jeans, Guns N' Roses T-shirt, and converse sneakers. My hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail, and I wore my glasses instead of contacts—hoping to get some sleep on the plane.

Making my way to the Starbucks in the waiting lounge, I was ready to order my caramel macchiato when I saw a familiar set of muscled biceps step directly in front of me.

"Good morning, sunshine," Jake said, smiling brightly. It only made me want to punch him in the jaw, but I figured I might hurt myself if I tried. He held my macchiato out to me. I offered a weak, tired smile to him, taking my drink and blissfully allowing the rich caffeine to slip down my throat.

After I had finished half of it while he eyed me skeptically, I finally decided to speak to him. "Are we on the same flight, Jake?" I was aware of the groggy, hung-over way my voice sounded.

"I...uh...made the flight reservations, so I made sure we were on the same one." He sounded a touch guilty. I eyed him wearily, not sure why he would feel bad. "I made sure we're sitting together also."

_Ah-ha._ I understood now, though he had no reason to feel bad or embarrassed. It was sweet. So I told him so. "Besides," I added, "I'll need a good pillow if I'm going to sleep off this hangover, and I hear Boston is a six hour flight."

When we finally boarded, I buckled my lap belt and closed my eyes; I didn't reopen them until we landed at Boston's Logan International Airport.

A/N: Chapter 10 is from EPOV again. It's a long one. After his POV, we'll be in Boston for the beginning of the tour. Things should start to pick up the pace a bit.

I hope you enjoy. :))

_**Don't forget to leave a review!**_

Rec (I read it, I love it!):

Heirs and Heirlooms by 2amlovesick

Family and this land is all Bella has ever known or needed. From family: she has love, security and knew her destiny. From the land: she knew it would sustain her so she studied, nurtured and worked it. Fate steps in, taking her parents and is now trying to take her land. How does she survive? AH Canon pairings. Death not canon or graphic. M for later. The Great Depression Era. HEA

Just Say Yes by lellabeth

'Meeting Edward was one of the best nights of my life.. if you leave out the part where I got called fat by the girls in the bathroom'. Short, fluffy one-shot about a Shyward and a Plus-Sizella. Now with EPOV.


	10. Smile Like You Mean It

A/N:

Disclaimer: All publicly recognized characters are property of their respective owners. This story and all original characters are property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.

Special thanks to my betas, hammongirl and starpower31! Thank you, ladies. Shout out to my pre-reader, 2loveybunnies; you rock!

The song for this chapter is "Smile Like You Mean It" by The Killers. Enjoy!

_**Please review. It would really make my day. :) If I got one review for every person who read this story, I would be in HEAVEN! Please, PLEASE leave me a line. :) :) :)**_

"Smile Like You Mean It"

EPOV

After our last encounter at the bar, I had taken a few days to unwind. Isabella hadn't realized that _Midnight Sun_ was the band she would be following on tour, which surprised me. The woman was aggressive, infuriating, and completely incredible.

My mood was on the upswing again, typical of the cycle I went through every year around the date of the death of my parents, and I sensed the change the moment I woke up for the meeting with Isabella. The month leading up to the tragic anniversary showed a slow deterioration in my demeanor; heavy drinking, smoking weed, sex, and sulking all tended to be the simplest ways to deal with the pain—the reminder.

One of the easiest ways to drown out the agony was sex, but after seeing Bella that night, I knew now that I wouldn't be able to fuck any other women until I'd had her. Believe me, I had tried. I began to watch some pay-per-view porn at the hotel, but it just left me wanting the real thing. One of the girls at _Musyc Haul_, where we played a show the week after I'd met Bella, had thrown herself at my feet when I got backstage. She had managed to get my pants down to my knees, but my goddamn cock refused to rise to the occasion. Embarrassed and frustrated, I sent her on her way.

After the anniversary of my parents' deaths passed each year, and the weeks long binge cycle that accompanied it, I would slowly regain my focus. I made it a daily habit to look at the picture on my phone. It was of the three of us, taken at my fourteenth birthday party, mere months before their deaths.

The psychologist, whom Carlisle and Esme had forced me to see, told me I had post-traumatic stress disorder accompanied with depression. I still attended appointments with Dr. Ligerman, and she had prescribed me some anti-anxiety and antidepressant medications, which I was supposed to take twice daily. Though I kept them in my luggage, I rarely took them and usually downed them with a glass of bourbon—which only made my head spin. At least it helped me forget myself for a while. I had always known I was a mess, but couldn't bring myself to care.

Generally, I spent several weeks following the episodes absorbed in writing lyrics that were torn from my memories and expressing my regrets. No one seemed to notice that though; all they ever heard was the noise. The guys and I made sure to compose a more optimistic sound than the pessimistic words deserved, and I was not "allowed" to write more than a few songs on my own. Jasper claimed I would scare off our following if I wrote too many of our songs. So we would spend late nights huddled around bar tables or on each other's couches and write further. Out of those sessions came our most popular songs.

Isabella had been such a spitfire when we'd spoken at her office, and she looked so damn good in that dress she'd worn. I kept picturing it hiked up around her waist, while I bent her over that conference room table and slid inside her. And when she had told me she didn't want me calling her "Isabella" my mouth had gotten the better of me and I scared her off with my attempt to flirt. Perhaps my approach had been too aggressive. I had basically come out and told her I wanted to fuck her, which of course I did, but that was probably not the right time or place. Surely, Isabella was completely confused by my absurd behavior. Hell, I would have been confused. I wanted to go after her and apologize again, but that motherfucker, Black, had stepped into the room after Bella had run off—effectively blocking me in.

"Cullen," Black said to me. I barely acknowledged him, offering a slight nod. My focus was trained upon Bella as she headed toward the ladies room. I desperately wanted to go after her. When I tried to step around the man, he reached an arm across my chest to stop me—blocking me from my mission. I glanced up at him. Jacob had at least three or four inches on me, though I was already tall at six-two. He seemed to want to intimidate me with the glare he kept shooting me. Following his eyes as they flicked toward the restroom that Isabella had just disappeared into, realization dawned on me. Black had a major thing for Bella. _Well, shit._

"You care about her," I said. It was not meant to be a question; I already knew his answer. Jacob dropped his arm from across my chest and cleared his throat, swallowing hard. Turning toward the table, he busied himself with gathering some papers. Since he seemed to not want to say anything more, I started back toward the door.

"I've been trying to ask her out for weeks." His deep, angry voice stopped me in my tracks. Turning back to him, I watched his face; he looked ready to punch me. Something wasn't quite adding up.

Smirking, I pushed my hands into my pockets—cocky as ever. "I'm guessing she has no idea. Am I right?" I asked him. Black's expression alone was enough of an answer; the anger melted and he looked physically pained. "Well, Black, it seems like you have a personal issue. Have a nice time with that. You should probably check your company policy about fraternization. Excuse me while I go talk to a certain beautiful woman." I turned back around and reached for the doorknob, noticing Bella had returned and was standing beside her desk. Her eyes focused over my shoulder and Jake took a guilty step back. Then, her curious eyes locked with mine.

"I'm falling in love with her," Jacob said, quietly. _Shit. How was that even possible? How long had he known her for, like a day maybe? Jesus Christ. _Love changed things—it was messy and it screwed up perfectly good relationships. Love was only for shitheads and dumbasses, of which Jake Black was apparently both. He might have been in love with Isabella, but she certainly wasn't in love with him; not when she looked at me the way she did. "Stay away from her, Cullen," he told me. The guy was delusional.

I snorted at his impudence. _The nerve of this kid._ "Yeah...um, where do you get off telling me who I can and cannot see?"

"You're not good for her."

I stilled. Well, at the very least, that was something I could not argue with; he was completely right. She was too good for me, and she deserved someone much better than my fucked-up self. Slowly, I nodded in agreement. I watched Isabella turn around, absorbed in a conversation with Emmett.

_Fuck. _Wrenching the door open, I swiftly made my way to the elevator. I pounded on that little orange down button over and over, until it opened and I finally stepped behind the sanctuary and solitude of the metal doors. _Fuck._ Jacob Black was spot on about one thing. I was not good for her, and I could offer her nothing that she deserved.

Certainly, she was the type of girl who wanted a man who would love her and dote upon her—which she completely deserved. Every girl wanted those things, but I would definitely never be the one to provide them. The most I could ever offer a woman was a good fuck and a quick goodbye. So why did I suddenly want all of those things and more with Isabella? She had gotten under my skin in much the same way my dad had talked about mom, and I did not know what to do.

I strolled back to my hotel room and threw myself down onto the middle of the large bed. Pressing the palms of my hands against my eyes, I contemplated what I would do about Isabella and my fucked up life. She had made an impression, and I didn't think there was any way to be rid of that fact.

I pulled out my bag of toiletries and had the medicine in my hands before I even registered what I was really committing to. Pushing myself off the bed, I marched to the sink and filled a glass with water. I stared at the pills in my hand. They would promise hope, balance, and change, if I only could make the effort to be consistent.

I tossed them into my mouth and drank the water in one swift gulp. Refilling the glass, I chugged more and more still. It was a ritual cleansing of my body. I did not know how long the upswing would actually last this time around, but I hoped to take full advantage of it while I could.

Later, I left the hotel and just walked around the beautiful, rainy city for a while. I spotted a bookstore that sold used novels and books and slipped inside. I grabbed the first book on the first shelf I came to. Pulling a worn-out copy of _Wuthering Heights _off the self, I scanned through the pages. My eyes landed on an old, handwritten poem on the very last page of the book. As I read the lines, written by a man about a woman he was desperately in love with but would not allow himself to have, inspiration flowed through me. I gathered up three more random books from the shelves: _Jane Eyre_, _The Great Gatsby_, and _Le Comte de Monte-Cristo _(which I knew I would never read since it was written in French)_._

After paying for the books and leaving the bookstore, I found a small table at the coffee shop next door. I borrowed a pen from one of the girls behind the counter and started writing in the empty pages of the books.

There I sat in that small coffee shop, writing line after line about a brown-haired, brown-eyed girl who had captured my undivided attention. They were not love poems by any means, but they managed to depict my confusion, my lust, and my need well enough. Filling the front and back pages of each of the books, I began scanning through them for empty space at the end of chapters so I could keep writing.

_Smile, lovely one_

_You know I want to see you light up like the sun_

_Such beauty in your face, _

_I want to see you trembling in ecstasy_

_Beneath me_

_Come on, baby, let me see _

_You'll fall apart _

_Let me take you to that place_

_I know I'm the man who can make you feel like the woman you are_

_All I'm asking is a night to show you how good it can be_

_Just let me take you that far_

_I can promise that you won't regret having me_

It was a good start, so I kept scribbling.

On and on I wrote, until two pages were filled with the same song lyrics. I reread the words that I had written; they weren't bad. Jasper would be shocked when I let him read them. This was the first song I'd ever written that was not directly related to my personal loss and pain.

I scanned the pages for a third time, letting the realization of what this actually meant sink in: Isabella had broken down some of my walls and she wasn't even aware of it. I could see them cracking around me, like a window shattering. She was in my head and there was no way she would ever comprehend what that meant. I had forced her away before we had even been introduced. In the midst of my dark depression, I'd shown her that I wanted nothing to do with her. How wrong I had been.

Leaping to my feet, I gathered the books and returned the pen before rushing back to the hotel. I texted Emmett on the way. He had to help me get in touch with her before we left for Boston.

cS-Cs

The equipment was already set up on the stage when we arrived at _The Crocodile_. The three roadies we had just hired were extremely helpful, and we were able to keep our workload light. Without them we would have to arrive several hours early to get everything set up before the sound check. I was glad to see that they had been by earlier, before the club opened, and had prepared everything for us. All we had left to do was the sound check with our guy, Jared.

The thought of people loving our music enough to travel with us and being there for our every need was exhilarating. It meant one thing: We were on our way to the top. It amazed me though, what the Hale money could buy. Most new bands would be struggling every inch of the way, but there we were living the high-life. I hadn't met another band who'd had paid roadies and their own sound guy at the stage of the game we were in.

Jenks had called earlier in the day, informing us that the publishing company we signed with was planning to pitch our song_ "Mediocrity"_ to a music supervisor. Apparently, the supervisor had been looking for our style of songs for a new television show. "Getting your songs heard by millions of people in a single night is the future of the industry. Your song will reach all those people, and all you have to do is sit on your ass and watch television," Jenks assured us and then went on to tell us about the money that was in it for us.

If our song landed on the television show, we'd get fifty-percent of the upfront placement sync-fee. That could be thousands to tens of thousands of dollars. We'd also get royalties every time the song played on the show or on a commercial for the program. While still keeping the theoretical ownership of our song and getting to perform it at any point, the publishing company would own the copyright of the words and the musical notation. Our song recordings were already owned by the record label. The whole thing gave us a great opportunity to be heard and in demand for future soundtracks.

Riding the high of that idea, we ambled to the bar for a pre-show drink. When the bartender approached, I almost ordered a Jack and Coke before recalling that I had taken the antidepressants only an hour before. I knew I shouldn't drink. Instead I asked, "Do you guys have any tea?"

Jasper and Emmett both stopped speaking, frozen in place and staring at me. I shrugged my shoulders, brushing off their curiosity. "What?" I asked. "I read somewhere that it's good for the voice."

The bartender finally spoke up, though was also looking at me as though I had grown an extra head. "Um... I can get you a black iced tea or a Long Island Iced Tea," he said with a smirk. _God, everyone's a comedian._

"Regular iced tea is fine, man. Thanks," I told him, clenching my jaw. He wasn't making it any easier on me.

"Fuck, Eddie," Emmett said to me. He sounded completely shocked, and I hated when he called me by that nickname. "Dude, I don't think I've ever seen you drink something that wasn't spiked."

Jasper guffawed from behind him, but stopped when I shot them both a glare. "Look," I said in surrender. "I want to focus tonight and see how the set goes without having to be drunk or high to perform. Leave me alone, guys."

They both broke into fits of laughter again, slapping me on the back before turning to the bar and ordering themselves shots. Even if they weren't on board with my newfound sobriety, at least they were leaving me alone.

When we made our way to the stage, I could tell that the place was crowded and ready to rock. We were amassing quite a following and it was exhilarating. Our set would begin with a couple of our older songs, but we also added in the new one I had written in the back of _Le Comte de Monte-Cristo_ a few days prior.

Jasper had been confused when I strolled in and threw the old, worn-out book onto his lap. I told him to turn to the last page of chapter eight. After reading the lyrics, he looked up at me in shock.

"You wrote this?" he had asked me, disbelief radiating through this voice. When I nodded in confirmation, he yelled for Emmett to get into the room. Together, we spent the next three hours composing the music for what was sure to be our newest hit. We even made two versions of it. One was a tad slower than our normal arrangements and done acoustically—which was a new endeavor for us; but the other tempo we had arranged was stimulating and exciting.

The crowd erupted as the music began. All around, people danced and swayed to the beat. By the time we got to the new song, the crowd was roaring and it was time to slow it down a bit. I traded my electric guitar for my _Martin D-28_ acoustic and began to play. We had aptly named it _"La Belle,"_ since it was written in the back of the French book and was about the beautiful woman of a similar name.

Whether it was a sixth sense or if I was somehow distracted, my gaze was drawn toward the back of the room. There was the most beautiful of women. Isabella stood with her over-sized glasses, tight _Guns N Roses_ V-neck that made her tits look fucking hot even from my perch across the room, and hair held in a high, messy knot; she'd come to the show! Though she was not looking directly at me, every few moments her eyes would pass over my body and then quickly away. I felt her gaze each time she looked at me. It heated my body like a fever.

My heart rate spiked; I felt the blood coursing faster and faster through my body. Grabbing the microphone, I stopped strumming the guitar and sang with as much adrenaline and enthusiasm as I could muster. My lips were pressed to the mic and my erratic hair fell to my forehead. This was her song after all, and I wanted her to know it.

After glancing back to my guitar to get the bearings for my fingers, I lifted my eyes back to where Isabella stood, but she was no longer alone. Jacob Black invaded the space behind her and placed a drink in front of her face, blocking my perfect view of her with his fucking hand. She took the drink from him and sipped it. Suddenly, his free hand was brushing hair off her shoulder and replacing it with his lips. Her entire body froze.

I saw nothing but red, and I stumbled over the next notes in the riff I was playing. _How dare that motherfucker touch her without her permission!_ Ice traveled up my veins and fire poured from my eyes. If only I could have gotten down there and hit him, I had no doubt it would be lights out for the fucking prick. Opening her eyes suddenly, she stared directly at me. Trepidation mired her beautiful brown eyes. She turned toward him, and I had hoped it was to push the dog away. Instead, he managed to plant a kiss on her mouth.

My expert fingers faltered over the strings again. God, I couldn't take it. Quickly, I turned around so I wouldn't have to witness anymore of his mouth's assault on her. _Fucking hell._ Em caught my eye and offered an apologetic look. Jasper nodded, encouraging me to continue playing and forget about what I had seen. However, I knew that wouldn't be possible.

When the set was almost over a few minutes later, I forced myself to turn back around. I scanned the crowd for Isabella, but saw no sign of her beyond the half empty Vodka Cranberry that Black held in his left hand. _She must still be around. _

After the set ended without a sign of her, I headed off the stage. Em and Jasper went off to retrieve more alcohol, but I stayed behind to help the roadies pack up the van. After ten minutes passed and they hadn't returned, I ambled back into the crowded club. I spotted Em and Jas smiling and laughing with Isabella...and Jake.

Making my way over to them, I caught the tail end of a comment from Isabella. "Why are you two so interested in my sex life?" she asked. I almost choked.

_Oh, God._ Any mention of Isabella or sex—or better yet Isabella mentioning sex—sent a wave of lust straight to my groin. But my desire was quickly doused when Emmett began to answer Isabella's question.

"I was only asking," Emmett told her. "Because _I've_ been asked a few times..."

Suddenly, the world seemed to move in slow motion. The night I presented Jasper and Emmett with the new song, Jasper had asked what inspired me but I remained hush-hush about it. Unfortunately, when we sat quietly nursing beers a few hours later, I asked Emmett if he knew whether Isabella was seeing anyone or not. He put two and two together pretty quickly and called Rose to ask her. The boys spent the rest of the evening grilling me about my feelings for Isabella. I gave them as few details as possible and never mentioned my conversation with Black.

"I know that Edw—"

"Jazz, Em," I quickly interrupted, hoping to cut Emmett off before he let her in on my secret. "We need to pack up the truck." Isabella turned toward me with a startled look in her beautiful eyes. I knew she was waiting for the cold stare I'd held before, but as I looked upon her I couldn't find the ice inside of me. "Hello, Isabella."

She swallowed thickly and cleared her throat. "Edward..." My name sounded like honey on her lips, and I wanted so desperately to lick them.

Jacob placed his large hand on Isabella's shoulder—a man claiming his property. Suddenly, that ice found its own way back to the surface; the little fucker actually expected me to shake his hand. "You guys sounded awesome up there," he told me, playing up the niceties for the benefit of our audience.

When I finally forced my gaze from Isabella's and reluctantly took Jake's hand, I made sure he would feel it tomorrow. "Thanks, Jacob," I said, constricting his palm even tighter. I grinned at his wince.

"Emmett, Jazz," I said, flexing my hand and cracking my knuckles when I released Jake's hand. "Let's get the van loaded. We have an early day tomorrow." They both looked at me like I was crazy for forgetting about our new roadies. "We need to get the bus cleaned up so this one doesn't have to live in a pigsty," I added, pointing to the brunette beauty.

Suddenly, Isabella was being lifted and spun around by Emmett's huge arms. He laughed and smiled. Apparently, Emmett was almost as excited as I was. When he finally set her on her feet, she looked a little ashen and seemed very dizzy. When she attempted to take a step, she began to tumble but I caught her easily and held her soft body against my chest.

The way her curves pressed against me was wreaking total havoc on my body. I gently released her from her position against my body; I refused to allow her to feel evidence of the arousal flooding my groin. Instead, I took my arms from her lower back and moved them up her sides. When I accidentally brushed the outside swells of her breasts, I almost came in my pants like a fourteen-year-old. I felt the goosebumps on her skin before I noticed her shiver and flushed cheeks. Recognition dawned on me then; she wanted me as much as I wanted her.

She looked up at me, and I held her gaze until my eyes flickered down to her mouth. I watched it part and her tongue sneak out to wet her lips. Inhaling sharply, I bit back a groan.

I would have leaned down and brushed my lips against hers if it hadn't been for Emmett's interruption. "Well, I'm fucking excited that you're going to be with us on the road, Bells!" I blinked several times and jerked my hands away from her body, but I immediately regretted it when I felt the loss of her warmth.

Isabella looked between Jake and I, and I tried to capture her eyes and encourage her to continue what we had just begun. But suddenly, she was making her hasty goodbye.

"I'll see you this weekend," she said to Jasper and Emmett. I glanced at them in confusion, but they nodded to her in agreement. Rushing toward the exit, Isabella didn't even bother to look back in our direction.

"Eddie," Emmett whined as he turned toward me. "I'm not really in the mood to help the roadies. What's the point of having them if they aren't here to do this anyway?" I waved him off, determined to follow Isabella.

When I got close to her, she sighed but didn't turn around. "Look, Jake," Isabella said. It stung a little that she had just assumed I was Jacob. "I think I'll head home and get some sleep. I'll see you tomor—"

"I'm sorry," I said, cutting her off. She spun around, realizing it hadn't been Jake following her. "I'm sorry, Isabella... Bella...about what I said about us not being friends at the bar the other day."

"Edward," she said, seemingly exasperated. "Why did you follow me out here?"

"Look... I just—I shouldn't have said it; I'm sorry." I panicked, unsure of what else I should say when I saw the look of confusion on her face. There were so many things I wanted to say to her, but I knew that she wasn't ready for them—and neither was I. Quickly, I spun around and headed back to the door.

I heard the taxi pull up a moment later. After I heard the car door close behind her, I turned back to watch the taxi pull away. _Damn it._ There was so much I wanted to say to her, so much I had to make up for. Sulking, I shuffled back inside.

Apparently, I wouldn't get to tell her I was wrong about her until we were on the road. As I sauntered through the bar, I suddenly remembered that Bella had mentioned that she would see Jas and Em that weekend. I quickly scanned the room for either of the guys, finally landing on Jasper as he chugged a Sam Adams at the bar.

"Hey, man," I said when I reached him, leaning on the bar next to him. "So, what are you and Emmett doing with the girls this weekend?"

Jasper grinned at me and lifted up his hand to signal the bartender for more drinks.

cS-Cs

When the three of us walked into the Twilight Moon, I immediately spotted Rosalie's platinum hair. She was seated at a pillowed booth along with Alice and several others. Black was there as well, glancing anxiously toward the back of the room where the bar was separated from the rest of the lounge. _Just my luck._ Isabella, however, was nowhere to be seen; though Em guaranteed me she would be here.

Rosalie nudged Alice in the arm and nodded toward us. All sets of eyes looked up at us simultaneously. The look on Jake's face was priceless; he was angry that we showed up. Well, he was angry that I showed up anyway. The man possessed no poker face whatsoever and was far too easy to read. _Fucking idiot, you never flash all your cards to your romantic rival before you're sure you can win! _

I stopped dead in my tracks. _Fuck. Romantic rival?_ _Is that what I wanted this to become? Did I desire a romance between Isabella and myself? _

My entire train of thought ceased when Isabella appeared beside me at the table. Her gorgeous teal dress accented her beautiful eyes. She looked absolutely stunning. The deep cut of the neckline dipped into her voluptuous cleavage, leaving little to the imagination. It would be so easy to lift her up and give my lips, tongue, and teeth access to her exposed flesh.

Jake's movement caught my eye; he was going to stand and offer her a chair. I was faster though, even with my growing cock pressing against my jeans. I reached and pulled out the chair for her.

Instead of sitting or acknowledging either of us, Isabella spun around and rushed to the bar. I groaned in frustration. Quickly, I shoved the chair back in and chased after her. I caught up with her just in time to see her flip her long, brown hair over her shoulder and smile seductively at the bartender when he asked what she'd like to drink.

The bartender glanced over Isabella's shoulder, and I set him in his place with a very threatening glare. Thankfully, the fucker knew what was good for him and took a step back.

"She'll take a cranberry and Grey Goose," I told him. He nodded and scurried off like a frightened puppy.

Isabella turned toward me, exasperated, but her face grew flushed. Her eyes roamed over me, drinking in the sight. She liked what she saw—I could see it in her face.

"Look, Edward," she said, once she snapped out of her perusal. "I'm really not in the mood for this tonight."

I tried to say something, but she cut me off. "We're going to be seeing quite a lot of each other during the tour, so please don't make it any more difficult than it has to be. I know that we aren't going to be friends; I'm well aware of your stipulation. Can you just let me enjoy this last night before I'm around you for months straight? After that, you can go back to avoiding me at all costs."

Patiently, I waited out her rant. Her words were bitter and tasted of irony. "I don't think I could stay away if I tried," I said honestly. I saw the bartender returning and decided it was not the time to finish this conversation. It was never the right time. I had only wanted to talk with her, but she still seemed to resent even the idea of doing that. So quickly, I headed back toward the table—praying she would follow and not run off like she had a few nights prior.

"What happened to Bells?" Emmett asked when I returned alone. Jake just sat there glowering at me.

"She was getting a shot and then said she'd be right back," I lied.

I waited for her, several minutes passing without a sign of her. Rosalie introduced me to Bella's best friend, Congressman Ben Cheney. The others, excluding Black, were absorbed in a conversation about sex-positions. I wasn't paying attention to their antics until I heard Ben announce, "Ah, there she is!"

Isabella lifted an eyebrow. "I hadn't realized I was missing?" I questioned with a sarcastic smirk.

The two seemed to be engaging in a silent conversation. I watched them interact, fighting the jealousy bubbling up at the fact that this man knew her so well; I wanted that place in her life. They more I admitted these things to myself, the more I realized how foreign they seemed coming from me.

"We're talking about favorite positions..." Ben trailed off. Isabella just looked confused. "You know, Bella. Sex."

I choked on my drink. _Oh, God, yes! _My pants were growing uncomfortably tight once again.

"So how about it, Bells? You a cowgirl kinda gal or more of a missionary one?" Alice asked her, giggling hysterically. I begged all the Gods in the universe to force her to answer that question.

Suddenly, Isabella shrugged and surrendered. "It depends, I guess." I groaned a little.

"On what?" Jake asked, sounding as excited and interested as I felt. Little prick. Abruptly, her eyes were on me. I swallowed and attempted to calm my hard-on.

Isabella leaned on the table between us, her cleavage on full display.

"Well," she whispered, "I'd rather have a guy just throw me on the bed, rip off my pants, and go down on me before anything else happens." I inhaled sharply, imagining my tongue buried between her thighs. Certainly, Isabella would taste like honey—ambrosia ready to deliver immortality to me.

"But at the same time," she continued, "nothing beats a thick, full cock in my mouth..." A growl slipped out of my throat. _Fuck. Me. Now. Literally, please._

She seemed shocked at the primal sound. My growl did something to her, because she blinked suddenly and straightened. "I guess I'll go with a '69,'" she told the group. "So, I think I'm ready for another shot. You in, Rose?"

Now I couldn't stop imagining pressing her curvy, beautiful body up against a wall. First, I would lick my way down her breasts, nibbling on the beautiful, freckled flesh as I went. Then, I would throw her on my bed and make her ride my face while she sucked my cock. She would scream my name as she came on my tongue, juices dripping down my chin. Finally, I would tell her to wrap her legs around my waist and slide into the heaven of her pussy.

_Sweet God._ I was ready to fuck the woman right here, under this table if she would let me. At least I might be able to go down on her with the space it allowed me.

A swift kick from under the table garnered my attention. Ben looked knowingly at me, and I could tell that he was completely aware of the fact that I was lusting after his best friend. He angled his head toward the bar—silently asking me to follow. He stood first and walked toward the bar. I followed moments later.

"I can help you out, you know," he said, looking toward my semi-hard cock. Suddenly confused and pissed at being hit on by a dude, I was ready to throw a punch when he interjected, "She has it bad for you, bro."

I blinked in surprise, stopped in my tracks. "What are you talking about?"

"Baby-B," he sighed, exasperated. "I can help you out with her." I smiled triumphantly and began to nod in excitement. "But," he emphasized, cutting me off with a flick of his wrist. "If you know what's good for you, then you'll never, ever fuck it up. I will happily kill you for her if you ever break her heart. She's the best person in the world."

I gulped hesitantly, nodding in understanding. Something told me I should follow every word of his advice. But a bigger, stronger part of me doubted I'd ever be able to really follow through.

A/N: **Chapter 11 is the first concert of the tour! I think you'll all like it A LOT. ;)**

Rec (I read it, I love it!):

Heirs and Heirlooms by 2amlovesick

Family and this land is all Bella has ever known or needed. From family: she has love, security and knew her destiny. From the land: she knew it would sustain her so she studied, nurtured and worked it. Fate steps in, taking her parents and is now trying to take her land. How does she survive? AH Canon pairings. Death not canon or graphic. M for later. The Great Depression Era. HEA

Little Hell by lellabeth

Bella is desperately trying to fight her growing feelings for Edward and stay loyal to Jacob, until a secret is revealed which threatens to tear her life apart. AH, Bikerward.


	11. Hit Me With Your Best Shot

**A/N:**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognized characters are property of their respective owners. This story and all original characters are property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.**

First, I'd like to thank my betas and pre-reader for loving this chapter as much as I do (Yes, Edward is a sexy-as-fuck man, and we love to pant over him). I hope all the readers feel the same way that we do about it.

Next, I'd like to say "HELLO!" to all the new readers who have followed and favorited either myself or Caged Skylark—there have been a plethora in the last couple of days. Enjoy the story, and thank you for joining us!

Finally, I'd like to say that I love all the support the fangirls (;-P) have shown. You know who you are, and you know that I love you.

This chapter is named after the song by Pat Benatar. She rocks my socks, as do you. ;)

Please review!

**"Hit Me With Your Best Shot"**

_Boston, MA_

_First concert on the tour_

BPOV

The bass beat pounded against me. It reminded me of the way my body hummed and pulsed after an orgasm; or maybe it was just Edward writhing against his guitar and the microphone that reminded me of orgasms. Each time he stroked the strings on the guitar, I felt a wave of desire flood my body. He played that _Gibson_ so masterfully, and I knew he could play my body just as well.

"Are you okay, Bells?" Jake asked from beside me. I knew my face was flushed; I could feel the heat flooding me. _Maybe the air isn't circulating properly through the room? _That had to be it. Only two explanations existed for the way my chest heaved with each breath, and I was not willing to entertain either one of them.

"It's just the air circulation. The room is too stuffy," I lied. I knew that was a load of bullshit, even though I could very well smell the odors of sweat, smoke, and alcohol mixing together in a toxic perfume. Jake certainly didn't need to know that I was panting over Edward Cullen.

Every now and then, Edward would glance at me from the stage—probably trying to make sure I hadn't run off—and turn back to the crowd with a sexy, crooked grin gracing his lips. From my position in the wings of the stage, hidden from the crowd behind the massive curtains, I could easily see Edward pressing into his guitar. _Fuckity shit!_ Surely he was grinding against that thing on purpose; or maybe it was all just my imagination. I just didn't know for sure.

When he looked my way for what felt like the millionth time since they'd taken the stage, he shot me a wink. I gasped in shock. _Fucking prick. He doesn't get to wink at me!_ Still focused on me and my flushed face, Edward pulled back from the microphone, plucking and pulling at the guitar strings. The sound of his solo rang throughout the club. The crowd cheered louder; they wanted more of him and I knew exactly how they felt...

cS-Cs

It had begun backstage, when Jake and I had arrived early to catch their sound check. Jasper and Emmett pulled Jake to the stage with them, asking for special photos of themselves with their instruments to send to their girls in Seattle. I'd stayed back and studied my notes, seated in the whitewashed corridor with its harsh, florescent lights. Certainly, I would need to be on top of my game during the concert. There were many things I wanted to be sure to catch, from reactions of the crowd to the energy from the band.

A sudden, loud crash drew my attention down the hallway. It had come from the open door leading to the back lot. Closing my small notebook and placing my pen inside, I stood up to investigate the noise. When I reached the outdoors, I pulled my sunglasses from their spot in my hair and shielded my eyes from the glaring sun. Glancing around for any possible source of the noise, I stopped beside the brick wall—dead in my tracks.

There stood Edward, sans shirt, lifting heavy amps and a pedal board out of the back of a van. Sweat trickled down his sculpted back, disappearing into the waistband of his jeans. He chose that moment to bend forward, allowing me an up-and-close view of the two dimples on his lower back, which had been hidden by his blue-plaid boxers. My mouth suddenly felt bone-dry as I imagined following that bead of sweat into his pants with the tip of my finger. He hoisted one of the amps out of the van, his biceps and triceps flexing as he lifted the oversized equipment.

A resounding _thud _from below snapped me away from my ogling. I glanced down at my feet and noticed that my notebook had slipped out of my hands. My pen rolled down the slanted drive. Following it with my eyes, I bit back a gasp when they landed on a pair of all-black Converse. The owner of the fuck-awesome shoes bent to retrieve the pen.

Taking a deep breath, I looked up into eyes made of pure, Edward Cullen-green. I thanked the Gods above that I was wearing my sunglasses, hoping he wouldn't notice how my gaze roamed over his perfectly muscled chest. His pectorals were the stuff of legend. He looked like he'd stepped out of a photo shoot. I had never seen anything so enticing in my life.

Suddenly, Rhianna's _"S&M"_ song was running through my head. _"Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it."_

I was openly ogling the man. _Shit! _I probably even had a river of drool trailing down my chin. I reached my hand up to check. Surprisingly, no saliva had escaped my mouth, though I wouldn't blame myself if it had. The planes of his abs were chiseled, dropping into a V above the buttons of his jeans. My audible gulp brought a chuckle from his lips.

_Fuck. _I was completely giving myself away. My nipples tightened behind my thin lace bra, and I thanked all things holy for the fact that it was chilly enough that I needed a sweater. The air was indeed nippy, and I wondered if I might use that excuse to explain the shiver running up my spine which caused me to visibly tremble.

_Wait a second!_ _It is _cold_ out!_ _What in the world was he doing without a shirt?_

My investigative, journalistic mind raced. _Was this some kind of set up?_ Em and Jasper had eagerly distracted Jake, while I was left to my own devices. Of course, I knew deep down how irrational and silly I was being, but a small part of me hoped that it might really be the case. While I loathed his attitude and anger, I knew that a part of me...a _big_ part of me...wanted him to desire me as much as I did him.

_Great, now _Cheap Trick _is looping through my head!_ _"I want you to want me..." _I was most definitely becoming a music junkie; or perhaps I was simply a junkie and Edward, music, and writing were my drugs of choice.

My pen was suddenly thrust in front of my face. _Thrust. Oh, Gods... Do _not_ think "thrust," any time Edward Cullen is in the vicinity. _I didn't realize he had gotten so close, so quickly.

"Here you go, Isabella," Edward said, motioning for me to accept the ballpoint from his outstretched hand. Hesitantly, not taking my eyes from his form, I grasped it.

Stuffing the pen in my back pocket, I reminded him, "It's Bella."

When he didn't respond, I glanced back up into his eyes; they were bright and twinkled in amusement. I arched my eyebrow at him, attempting to be as threatening and menacing as possible.

"You really hate it when I call you that, don't you?" he asked me, taking a step closer. I began to shake my head but stopped myself, biting my lip.

Finally, I nodded in affirmation; I figured I might as well set him straight. "That's what my mom calls me. It's just a stuffy, old-lady name. You're the only one who calls me that, which is only out of obstinacy."

Grinning, he shook his head. "Not at all. It's a beautiful name. It's a name worthy of royalty and someone as beautiful as yourself," he reassured me. My face flamed. Surely, he was teasing me. "But, I do understand. I can't stand when people call me Eddie. It gets under my skin quicker than anything."

I mentally marked that one down for the arsenal. Certainly, I was going to need all the ammunition I could get my hands on when the time came to wage war against this man. Edward was like a coming apocalypse; I saw it on the horizon but wasn't sure if I could outrun it. Part of me really didn't even want to make an escape attempt.

"I like your sweater," Edward told me, laughing lightly. The twinkle in his eyes warned me that he was trying to poke fun at me. I was wearing a vintage, off-the-shoulder sweater which I'd found at a thrift shop. It was straight out of 1984; the design was loud, with teal and magenta. I wore a pair of black leggings with my hair piled into a messy knot atop my head, and my own black Converse. I certainly wasn't going to point out that we were sporting the same shoe choice; unfortunately, nothing escaped his notice.

"Cool shoes...Bella," he said, testing my name on his lips, letting it roll around on his tongue. _Oh, god._ There were so many other things I wanted rolling around on his tongue. Fortunately, his next words snapped me out of the pornography flashing through my mind. "I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you look like you fell out of Molly Ringwald's closet." The last words were slightly muffled by the chuckle he tried to bite back.

I arched my eyebrow at him again, daring. "Thanks," I said. "That's exactly what I was going for."

The chuckle was no longer contained, but a full-fledged laugh. When the guffawing died down, he swiped a finger under each eye, wiping away tears that had begun to fall from the hearty laughing.

"I'm glad I can offer you such amusement, Mr. Cullen," I said haughtily, sticking my nose in the air. He was such a prick sometimes—most times. I didn't have any idea what to do with him.

His long, strong fingers suddenly plucked at my sweater. My eyes snapped up and I pulled the fabric from his grasp, but his smile widened. "What do you call this style, anyway? You always have the most interesting and...unique...clothing on," he told me. I waited for a sarcastic intonation to end his sentence, but nothing came. I think he was genuinely interested. "Where are you from, anyway?"

"I—um... I'm from Forks, Washington," I said dumbly, unsure of what he was getting at.

Edward chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Well, yeah," he told me, "I got that much. I meant where is your family from? Mine are from Ireland and Denmark. You have this beautiful brown hair, and out here in the sunlight it has gold and red and violet in it."

_Wait, it did? How did I not know this about my own hair?_ I'd always thought of it as plain, boring brown.

"And your eyes are the craziest color of brown also; it's like they match your hair. They have a ring of blue around the iris, and then they fade into gold, green and finally brown. I've never seen anything like it..." he trailed off, looking deep into my eyes. Edward licked his lips, drawing himself closer to me.

I blinked in surprise. He was being completely serious, so I offered him a serious answer, fighting with the part of me that wanted to tell him to "fuck off."

"My dad is Irish and French," I admitted to him.

Edward smiled enthusiastically, as if I'd let him in on some wonderful secret, which he'd been dying to hear. We shared a common heritage. "I guess that explains the hint of red," he told me, laughing and motioning to his own auburn locks.

"Yeah, well," I continued with a shrug, "my mom is one-hundred percent Bohemian."

His smile grew even wider. "Wow," Edward said, a small whistle escaping from his teeth. "Czech women are the hottest."

"You're kidding, right?" I asked, snorting. I couldn't stop the grin from finding its way to my mouth.

He shook his head vehemently. "Not at all! Look at this soft, round face, beautiful, pale skin, and luscious, curvy frame. It's a Czech thing, I'm telling you." The man was insane! I laughed loudly at his bravado, and he joined me. Apparently, Edward Cullen and I had caught a case of the giggles; I never thought I'd see that day come.

His gaze flickered down to my mouth, and my laugh died in my throat. I slid my tongue out to wet my lips, mesmerized by the way his pupils dilated at the sight, causing the viridescence in his eyesto almost disappear. My girlie bits tensed and ached, clenching in anticipation. Edward stepped closer to me, placing his palm against the brick wall beside my right ear. I was effectively pinned in.

The look in his eyes told me some of what he was feeling at the moment, and I knew that if he looked deeply enough into my own he would see the same thing reflected back. Edward leaned toward me, his breath ghosting across my lips. This would lead to one of two places: He would either kiss me, get me all worked up, and leave me wanting more but not willing to give me what I desired, or I could him push away before it got started and allow myself some breathing room.

His head descended closer. "Aren't you freezing?" I asked suddenly, his lips millimeters from my own. Edward closed his eyes and pursed his lips. For a moment, he dropped his head against the brick wall beside me before he stepped back. I was both relieved at the distance and incredibly disappointed. Part of me wanted to grab him by the shoulders and meet his achingly beautiful mouth with my own. "Maybe you should put a shirt on. You must be cold out here."

Closing his eyes and clenching his jaw, Edward let out a deep sigh. He walked to the van and pulled out a _Depeche Mode_ T-shirt, slipping his arms into it and over his head in that perfectly manly way. _"I like the way you work it..."_

_Shit._ I was lusting over the way he got dressed, and that only caused me to think of the way he would look while undressing.

Pushing myself off the wall to follow after him, I cleared my throat and walked toward him. "Do you need a hand?" I asked, pointing toward his amps and pedal board. Two guitars and their cases also sat among the equipment.

Edward chuckled and shook his head. "I doubt you could lift one of these things, Bella." To drive his point home, he hoisted one of the amps with a huff, taking it from the van and placing it on the ground at my feet. If it was straining for him, there would be no way I'd be of any help.

I glanced around. There was no one else out there. "Where are all the newfound roadies?" I asked, a hint of suspicion marring my voice. Accusation rang through the air. Emmett had told me all about the twenty-somethings whom they had hired to follow _Midnight Sun _on tour. The fact that none of the roadies were around caused me to further entertain the idea that this might have been a setup indeed.

"They...uh...they're helping Jas and Em set up." Suddenly, Edward sounded nervous and unsure of himself. I'd never heard him like this.

Shaking my head, I stepped around the amp, closing in on him. Boldness overtook my body, a caged bird finding freedom. "I was just in there, remember?" I asked. "Not a roadie in sight as far as I could tell. Shouldn't they be out here doing the heavy lifting?" His eyes widened in surprise. Our roles had been reversed—the predator was now the prey. Somehow, I knew that he wanted to get me alone; I knew this was exactly what I thought it to be. That fact both confused and turned me on.

Suddenly, Edward reached for me, spinning me around so my back was to the dirty, white van. He leaned his body against me, pressing me harder against the vehicle. "Bella..." My name sounded like a prayer on his lips. I licked my lips for a second time in minutes and nodded my head, begging him to kiss me already.

"Bells?" Jake's voice interrupted our moment—a pin piercing the bubble we had wrapped around ourselves.

"Fuck." I heard Edward mutter, slamming the palm of his hand against the side of the van. "Bella, wait," he called out to me, but I was already moving away from him. I walked around the side of the vehicle so I could see Jake. He looked panicked, though his eyes softened when he took inventory of me—clothing in place and all accounted for. I wondered if he knew what Edward and I had been up to.

I felt Edward's presence directly behind me; his forearm pressed against my elbow. Jake took in the sight before him. Surely, from where he stood, Edward's proximity looked incredibly intimate, possessive. Making an effort to put distance between the two of us, I stepped away from Edward. But he flowed with my movements as though he could read my steps before I made them.

An awkward silence stretched between the three of us. Jacob and Edward seemed ready to go rounds with each other. Knowing I had to be the peacekeeper, I turned toward Edward and said, "Since you'll be at the after-party, I probably won't see you after the show. But I'll get to the tour bus at 10 a.m., for the interviews."

He winced slightly, probably considering how late the show would get out and how long he would like to sleep in. I hoped that it was a wince at the thought of not seeing me again that night. We had begun something here, and I wasn't sure either of us really wanted it to end.

"Shit," I said, a little embarrassed. "Is ten too early? I don't want to force you guys out of bed." I was rambling and I didn't care; I just wanted to get out of the awkwardness of the situation and away from both of these men.

Finally, Edward pulled his glare from Jake and spoke up. "Ten is fine, Bella." I smiled and nodded my head lightly, shooting one last glance between the two of them, and walked through the door.

When I made it back through the corridor, I leaned against the wall and took a deep, cleansing breath. I pulled out my phone and dialed Rosalie. She answered on the third ring.

"Hey, B!" Her voice came over my phone, light and giddy. "How's the road? And how are those gorgeous men you're working with?"

My loud laugh came straight from my stomach. Apparently, I was in a very good mood from the earlier interaction with Edward; I felt light and free, despite the awkward scene I'd just left. "I see you're taking full advantage of the open liquor cabinet policy," I told her.

Rose giggled along with me and, for the first time in a week, I realized just how much I missed her and Alice. Here I was on a Friday evening, about to go into a club without the two girls I'd always dedicated my Friday nights to. But instead of feeling familiar sadness roll over me like a steady tide, I felt only excitement at the thought of how my Friday would turn out. The concert would begin in an hour or so, and I had a backstage pass to watch what I knew would be an awesome performance.

"Did you take a picture of Emmett today?" Rose asked me. I rolled my eyes, snorting. She had such a one-track mind.

"Let me look through my emails, Rose," I told her. "Jake took some shots of them during sound check, so maybe he sent them to me already."

Pulling my phone away from my ear to check my emails, I was glad to find that Jake had already uploaded and sent me some of the photos of the boys. I saved them to my cell's camera roll and sent her the required "Daily Emmett Photo."

I knew she'd certainly received it when she let out a long sigh and said, "Fuck, I miss that man and his freakishly large dick."

A coughing fit overtook my body. "_Way _too much information, Rosalie Hale!"

"Hey," she said giggling, "I'm just saying... He's _well_ _endowed_ in the penile department. My lady junk got quite the workout."

"Holy shit, Rose!" I exclaimed. "I cannot believe you just said 'lady junk!'" This conversation had definitely taken a turn for the worse. Part of me, though, felt the sting of envy. Rose might have been playing up the girl-addicted-to-her-man-for-his-body bit, but I knew that she was seriously in love with the guy. Though her words were crude, the intonations in her voice were light and dreamy.

She must have been staring at his picture when she quietly asked, "What cities are you guys in next?"

"N.Y.C., Trenton, Philly, Albany, and Richmond for this leg of the trip. I'll be home for a couple of days after Richmond, and then I'll be flying to Nashville." We would be taking the tour bus to New York, and I had already arranged for a hotel near the two concert venues.

"Excellent." I could hear her smile through the phone. "I'll call Daddy's travel agent after we hang up and have her make flight reservations for Ali and me to go to Nashville with you."

"What!" I screeched. "Rosalie Hale! That would be amazing!" I couldn't believe they'd been planning to come and see me. That would make my trip so much easier, and we would get the chance for a well-deserved girl's night out.

"Yeah, well, don't get too excited, honey. Emmett asked me to come visit his hometown," Rose told me with a snort.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. Go figure. "I suppose it would be too much to ask for you to visit because you actually want to see _me_," I said with a snort and turned to the wall behind me, picking at the little peeling pieces of white paint.

"Of course I want to see you, bitch!" Rose exclaimed, with mock annoyance. She knew I was teasing. "But you know, Em is going to be in his hometown...and his ex lives there. I don't want any funny-business happening behi—"

"You mean the ex who is now his sister-in law and mother of his niece and nephews?" I asked.

I could practically hear her eyes roll over the phone, and I bit back a laugh. "Whatever, Bells. He had it pretty bad for her. Their sex-life was epic, according to him. I almost kneed him in the balls when he told me that. I just want to cover my bases."

"I know, Rosie," I told her, surrendering without teasing her any further. She seemed to be pretty serious about Emmett. "I just want to see you girls. I've mis—"

A tapping on my shoulder drew me out of the conversation with Rosalie. Startled, I spun around. Edward held his arms up in surrender when he noticed how jolted I was. He motioned between the two of us, silently asking if I would allow him a minute of my time. Hesitantly, I nodded and held up a finger, asking him to wait.

"Rose," I told my friend. "I'd better let you go. I have to finish some things up before the show tonight."

"Fine, B," Rose said with a sigh. "Make sure to send me some more pictures. I miss you guys. Give Jazzy a kiss for me, but don't you dare kiss Emmett, or I swear I'll cut a bitch."

Snorting and shaking my head, I agreed. "I love you, Rosie. See you soon."

Edward waited patiently as I finished my telephone call with Rose. When I slipped my phone into my pocket and leaned against the wall, he finally spoke.

"I'm sorry—" he began, but I cut him off.

"God, all you ever do is apologize, Edward," I interrupted, exasperated. "What in the world are you sorry for this time? First you're a jerk, then you stalk me—only so you can tell me that you don't want to be friends—then you change your mind about that! And just now you looked like you wanted to kiss me out there."

He simply stared at me with a crooked grin on his face; it wasn't cocky, but would best be described as amused. I stopped my rambling and pursed my lips. After he was sure I wouldn't interrupt him, urged on by the waving of my hand, Edward continued. "I'm sorry..." he said, pausing to see if I would actually hold my tongue. I had passed the challenge. "…that we were interrupted outside."

I gaped at him. The man was giving me whiplash. All I managed was to blink a few times, letting him know I had indeed heard him. Whether I believed it or not was a different matter entirely.

"I didn't mean to come on too strong," Edward told me as he looked down, cheeks reddening a bit in shame. "I've been a royal asshole since we met, Bella, but the more time I spend around you, the more I realize that I actually like you."

"Ha!" I scoffed at his tragic epiphany, and his smile faltered. "I'm so sorry that you are starting to like me. That wasn't my choice or my doing, Edward Cullen!"

I spun around and began to make my way toward the dressing rooms, but his hand caught my wrist and he pulled me back against him. "Drop the act, Isabella," he hissed into my ear.

_Gah!_ For some reason, every time he used my name, I knew he meant business. It sent waves of electricity rushing through my body, straight to my core. I stilled in his arms. My mind was working overtime, noticing the perfect ways we fit together. My head was against his chest. If I turned, my cheek would be right on his collarbone; I would easily be able to lift my head and kiss the underside of his jaw.

His long fingers moved loose strands of hair off my face and he leaned in to whisper in my ear once again. "I know what you want," he said. His voice was everything erotic and sensual. "I see it every time you look at me, Isabella."

I felt my eyes rolling back in my head as my eyelids fluttered closed. I longed for more than just his hot, moist breath ghosting over my ear and cheek; I wanted him touching me, kissing me, pressing me up against the wall and having his way with me.

"Can't you admit that you like me too?" The words pierced through my lust and I pushed away from his grasp. Of course I couldn't admit that I liked him! He had a lot of things to work through before I confessed anything, despite whether or not I felt them.

"I'm here to work, Edward," I told him, only partly lying. His arms dropped to his sides, defeated, rejected. For a moment, I thought he would turn and leave. Instead, Edward studied my face, looking deep into my eyes, and the crooked grin slowly returned.

"You and I both know that there's more to it than that, Bella," Edward said, arching his eyebrow—daring me to disagree with him. "Have coffee with me."

It wasn't a question, not a request. I stared at him blankly, unsure how to handle the situation. Coming to the easiest conclusion, I told him, "Sure. On the tour bus, we can share a pot of coffee. I'll see you in the morning." It wasn't a yes to a date, but it wasn't entirely a no either. I was too undecided to know what else to say.

I turned back to the dressing rooms and was halfway down the hall before he called after me. "Actually, I'll see you tonight. You'll be standing backstage, watching the show." Shaking my head, I fought the grin that was threatening to escape my lips. God, he was infuriating.

At least his sudden persistence and interest was refreshing compared to the bitterness.

cS-Cs

"If the room is too stuffy, we can head out, Bells," Jake told me, pulling me from the lust-induced daze I found myself trapped in. Edward finished off his guitar solo to the sound of women screaming. Someone in the audience launched a pair of panties at the stage. He bent to pick them up, glancing at me with another quick wink, and launched them back into the crowd.

I rolled my eyes at him, only to receive a sexy smirk in return. _Honestly! He's just doing this to get under my skin. _I knew I was right—he had figured me out despite my defenses; but that didn't stop my body from responding and giving me away.

The song came to an end and Edward offered a dramatic bow to the crowd. I was unsure of what had changed in him over the past week, but Edward had made leaps and bounds with how he was behaving since our first interaction. Though I had my suspicions, I longed to know what had brought on this change in him.

"Jake, I think you're right. It's really stuf—" I was interrupted by the loud sound of Edward's voice coming through the speakers.

"Now, this is a newer one," he said, introducing the next song. I held up a finger to Jake, asking him to wait; something told me I should hear this. Edward turned toward me, once again. "And I'd like to dedicate it to a special girl that I know. She probably didn't realize it the first time she heard it, but maybe she will now." My mouth fell open. _No fucking way... _

Edward's fingers brushed over the strings, and Emmett counted them off. The song wasn't gentle and sweet, though it was beautiful. It was rough, like hard, heart-pounding sex. It was the same song that they had played at the club that night Jake had kissed me; though, then it had had a slightly softer tempo and sound. Them, it had sounded like a dream about someone; now, it had morphed into a mission to have what he wanted.

Was he honestly saying that this song was about _me_? I stared, dumbfounded, at the stage. His eyes did not leave my body during the entire first verse. I felt him watching and perusing me carefully as he played.

_Smile, lovely one_

_You know I want to see you light up like the sun_

_Such beauty in your face, _

_I want to see you trembling in ecstasy_

_Beneath me_

_Come on, baby, let me see _

_You'll fall apart _

_Let me take you to that place_

_I know I'm the man who can make you feel like the woman you are_

_All I'm asking is a night to show you how good it can be_

_Just let me take you that far_

_I can promise that you won't regret having me_

The rest of the words faded out. All I heard was my pounding heart and heavy breathing. My face and chest were flushed. Sweat beaded on my forehead. I was vaguely aware of Jake mumbling beside me. His voice faded into the background. All I saw was Edward.

Suddenly, I was being pulled toward the door by Jake's strong arms wrapped around me. He didn't stop moving until we were out the back door and into the fresh air.

"Jesus Christ, Bella!" he shouted at me, holding onto the back of his head with both hands. "I didn't know if you were hyperventilating or having a fucking orgasm. What the fuck?"

As I caught my breath, I stared at him, confused and annoyed. He'd ripped me from an intense moment of clarity. Hell was about to be unleashed and I wasn't entirely sure he was prepared for my fury. "What the hell is your problem, Jacob?" I seethed.

"He's all over you, Bella!" Jake exclaimed, trying to defend his actions. "That song was about _you_!"

I moved directly in front of him and pushed a finger into his chest. "You don't need to have an opinion on anything to do with him, or me, for that matter! You're here to take pictures, Jake!"

He recoiled as if I'd struck him. Jake seemed to contemplate what to do next, torn between picking up the flag and pressing on in battle, or retreating and regrouping for another time. Suddenly, Jake reached for me, pulling me close to his body. This was all too familiar; it was a less gentle repeat of the night at _The Crocodile_. I steeled myself for an assault of my mouth.

But then he was moving away from me as quickly as he'd appeared. "What the fu—" A solid shove against the white van ended his sentence with a thud. I covered my mouth with my hand, shocked and bewildered.

"Maybe you should wait until the lady asks to be touched, Jacob." Edward stood protectively in front of me. I gawked at the hypocrisy of his statement. Both of these men were completely out of control!

"You know what? Fuck you, man!" Jake spat at Edward. Jacob lifted his fists, ready to defend himself.

Edward snorted and started to speak, but I cut him off. "You two are ridiculous," I seethed, coming from behind Edward to stand between them. I put a hand against each of their chests, and I could feel both of their ripped muscles and pounding hearts. "Jake, I don't know if you were drinking again or what the fuck your deal is, but I'm going to put my foot down now: No more liquor while we're working! Not until you can control yourself." He looked like a little boy who had been reprimanded. "And as for you, Cullen," I said, turning to Edward. "I don't need you to come running out after me all the time. Please tell me you didn't walk out in the middle of a set?!"

He looked down, pushing gravel with the toe of his shoe. The guilt on his face radiated like a furnace. "Fucking lovely, Edward!" I exclaimed. "Great way to make a first impression."

"Hey," he snarled, looking up at me. "They already know us and love us. The set was almost finished, and Jas can sing if he needs to, thank you very much. This one—" he pointed at Jake "—looked like he was about to go ballistic. I had to see what was going on!"

I threw my arms up in surrender. They were impossible. "You know what? You two need to figure this shit out and stop putting me in the middle of it. I'm going back to the motel. I'll see you in the morning for the interviews. And you better be ready for it. 10 a.m.!"

I stalked away, leaving a shocked Jake and a slack-jawed Edward in my wake. What a great fucking start to the tour. Something inside told me that they weren't just "putting me in the middle"; I _was _the middle.

_Fucking hell._

**A/N:**

Lemons are impending...as are lots and lots of orgasms (for Bella and Edward, you dirty girls!)...

Please review. :)

Stories I love and recommend you read as you wait for chapter 12:

Little Hell by lellabeth

s/8962315/1/Little-Hell

Heirs and Heirlooms by 2amlovesick

s/8691287/1/Heirs-and-Heirlooms

Bear and Bella In The Morning by Louise Clark

You'll have to go to TWCS Library and search for it, but it's a fun read!

Until next time! MWAH!


	12. Chasing Pavements

A/N:

**Our Caged Skylark playlist (so far):**

**-Opener (You Me and Apollo)**

**-Somebody Told Me (The Killers)**

**-A Pearl (You Me and Apollo)**

**-Bulletproof (The Goo Goo Dolls)**

**-Black Bird (The Beatles)**

**-15 Step (Radiohead)**

**-Amigone (The Goo Goo Dolls)**

**-Closing Time (Semisonic)**

**-Raise Your Glass (P!nk)**

**-Smile Like You Mean It (The Killers)**

**-Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Pat Benetar)**

**-Chasing Pavements (Adele)**

******Disclaimer: All publicly recognized characters are property of their respective owners. This story and all original characters are property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**I want to thank all of the new readers who have favorited, followed, and reviewed. You've been amazing! **

**Thank you to those who gave Take Up Thy Cross a chance. It was a hard read for you, and it was a VERY hard write for me. Believe me, it was painful. But I'm very proud of it. :)**

**The song for this chapter is "Chasing Pavements" by Adele.**

"Chasing Pavements"

Boston, MA

BPOV

I arrived at the tour bus at 9:53 a.m., hoping the guys were awake and ready for the interviews to begin. Jake sidled up beside me with his camera equipment slung over his shoulder. A couple of the roadies meandered around beside the sound truck and loaded equipment into the back.

"Jake," I addressed him, turning in his direction. He looked a little worse for wear. Something about him was off, and I couldn't help but credit the events of the previous night. He suddenly seemed resigned to a future without an "us"in it. Somehow, it appeared that reality had washed over him, and I could only hope that this was a sign of a smoother ride for the remainder of the tour. "Why don't we see if the roadies would be willing to pose for a few shots? I'd love to credit their help in this week's blog."

Pursing his lips and doing as he was asked, Jake sauntered over to the guys who were getting the equipment loaded. I needed to remove him from the situation when I first greeted Edward that morning. From what I had witnessed the night before, these two were even more at odds with each other than before. While Jake and the roadies talked quietly, I knocked on the door of the bus and hoped the guys were awake.

While waiting, I checked myself over in the reflection of the glass door. The weather was very pleasant when I had woken up, so I decided to go with a floral-print peasant dress that landed mid-thigh. My tan cowboy boots matched the belt that was tightly cinched around my waist. One side of the dress fell off my shoulder and revealed the many vines of my black and white rose tattoo; it started on my left hip, weaving up my back, until it rested gracefully over my right collar bone. Rarely did I have the opportunity to show it off when it came to work. I'd loosely plaited my long hair into a fishtail braid, which was slung over my shoulder.

Suddenly, two bare feet obstructed my view of myself in the glass door. I took a startled step back and looked up into the eyes of an amused, and once again shirtless, Edward Cullen. _I swear, he's trying to kill me!_

Despite my face flushing in embarrassment, I cleared my throat and rolled my eyes, motioning with my hand for him to get the door open. He chuckled, and though I could not hear him, I saw the tremor in his muscles as they clenched with his laughter. Edward turned and pulled a lever, and the door swung open.

I was surprised by what I encountered when I stepped onto the bus. I wasn't quite sure what I had expected, perhaps a Greyhound bus, but this was more like a giant RV than a traditional bus. The interior was covered in cherry wood and dark, gray carpet. A black leather sofa lined the left side of the bus, and a kitchenette was opposite a foldout table. There was a built-in recliner next to the counter and another one sat adjacent to it.

"Would you like a tour, Bella?" Edward's husky voice tickled my left ear; he must have just woken up based on the scratchy, unused sound of it. Or perhaps the raw vocal cords were a result of the concert the night before. "I can show you anything you'd like to see." His words were full of innuendo and promise. I bit back a moan that threatened to escape my throat. _How can I possibly survive this trip?_

If I tried to respond orally, my own voice would surely sound just as husky as his own; instead, I simply nodded my head. Edward showed me the bathroom, which was little more than an airplane-sized toilet, sink, and a shower stall. He then led me toward the back of the bus, stopping to show me the four bunks that lined the walls—two on each side. Each had a privacy curtain that managed to block them off from the little hallway.

"Where are Emmett and Jasper?" I asked curiously, noticing they weren't still in their bunks. I hadn't expressed an opinion on which of the guys I wanted to interview first, but I had imagined that they would all be present during the process.

Edward lifted his arm and scratched the back of his neck. In the past twenty-four hours, he'd been exuding a mixture of confidence and nervousness; it was confusing, though it was a pleasant change for the anger that it had replaced. "They went to grab breakfast for everyone, since none of us can cook to save our lives," he told me with a chuckle.

I smirked and rolled my eyes. "We'll have to remedy that, won't we? I refuse to eat fast food during this whole tour," I told him. "Maybe we can go to a grocery store before the next part of the road trip and get some supplies. I'll even teach you how to make a few easy meals, as long as you're a willing student. It'll be fun for us."

By the way his lips parted and pupils dilated, I realized my own implications thrown into my comments. Not only had I planned an outing for us, I'd volunteered to coach him in the culinary arts. Somehow, our individualism was being altered and rewritten into a "we." I swallowed thickly and ducked my head to avoid his gaze. Edward grinned crookedly and continued with his guided tour.

"This is going to be your room, Bella," Edward told me, leading me to a door in the back of the bus.

I blanched. "I can't take a room from one of you guys!" I exclaimed, horrified at the thought of putting them out.

But he just clucked his tongue at me and waved a hand of dismissal at my worries. "We cleaned it up and put fresh sheets on the bed. I hope you'll like it. None of us mind sleeping in the bunks, sweet girl." His endearment was both startling and arousing. I was unsure of where it had come from, but I didn't allow myself time to contemplate over it.

Edward turned the door handle, swinging it open for me. I turned sideways to enter, and my breasts brushed the front of his bare chest as I attempted to move past him. We both froze, our faces inches from each other.

I never had to wear a bra with the peasant dress before—it was my free-love, hippie outfit that was loose enough to make it unnecessary; but now it did nothing to hide the tightening of my nipples. They pressed excitedly against his chest, eager for the fabric to be moved aside and real attention to be lavished upon them. Edward released a harsh breath; it rushed over my face and neck, causing goosebumps to prickle my skin and my nipples to harden further.

_God! Is he as affected by this as I am?_

Edward pressed against me, forcing my body further against the doorframe. It cut into my back like iron, forcing me to remember the small hallway we were in. I looked up and met his vibrant green eyes; they were full of lust, wonder, and a hint of something I was unable to place at that moment.

"Bel—"

"Thank you for preparing a room for me, Edward," I told him, cutting him off and slipping past him to sit on the edge of the bed. The sheets were purple, soft, and cottony. Two fluffy pillows adorned the head of the queen-size mattress. It was a tight squeeze to try to walk in the room, but there was enough space to change my clothes and even a mirror to do my makeup. "I appreciate all the sacrifices you guys are making for me," I said honestly.

I looked up to Edward; he rested his forehead against the doorframe and blew out a heavy breath. When he turned to me, the lust hadn't left his eyes, but he looked as though he'd given himself a pep talk and pulled it together. Slowly, he ambled over to the bed and plopped himself down beside me, toeing the door closed behind him.

"The mattress was kind of shitty," he told me, "so I ordered a new one. The salesman said this one is a pillow top and guaranteed me that you'd love it." My mouth dropped open in utter shock.

"You bought a mattress for me?" I couldn't believe what he had just told me. Mattresses were not cheap, and by the feel of this one squishing under my fingers, I would be sleeping on a couple thousand dollars worth of luxury.

Edward nodded hesitantly, obviously wondering if he'd made a big mistake. Allowing a huge grin to conquer my mouth, I threw my arms around his neck—his head was crushed into my chest as I giggled like a crazed girl. It took a moment before I realized what I had done. Suddenly, I felt his left hand brush over my exposed thigh, until it finally came to rest on my hip. I slowly loosened my grip on his neck and allowed my arms to slip down to his shoulders.

Edward lifted his right hand and pushed a loose tendril of hair behind my ear. His fingertips danced over my jawline and neck, finally coming to rest at the base beneath my hair. Certainly we looked like quite a sight: On a bed, with my knee tucked underneath myself, grasping his naked shoulders in wanton desire and wild abandon.

Our faces moved closer to each other as the air of our breath swirled between us, hushed and heavy. He was so near that I could see each of the two day growth of reddish whiskers stubbling his strong jawline. Edward's eyes held a hungry passion, something raw and primal that begged to be set free from its cage.

The heat and moisture of his breath ghosted my mouth. "Bella..." he whispered, as his lips began their descent.

"All set, Bells!" Jake called from the front of the bus. I turned my head toward the sound of my name, and Edward's lips danced against the edge of my mouth, missing their mark. Even that small brush felt like a shock of electricity through me.

My eyes snapped back to Edward who swore and pulled his hands away from my body. He put his elbows on his knees and pushed his fingers through his messy hair. There was an obvious bulge in his pants, and my heart raced at the sight of it; my panties grew even more damp than they'd already become. Our eyes met at the same moment. Events had been set in motion which would alter our..._relationship_, but there was nothing left to do about it at that moment.

I pushed myself off the bed, not realizing that my dress had ridden up and exposed the edge of my lacy, blue panties. Edward groaned behind me, and I quickly pulled my dress down to cover the lingerie. He hadn't moved from his position; his long legs left little room to reach the door and, judging by the audacious look in his eyes, I'd have to make my own way around him. So I did.

I thrust my ass in his face as punishment for the awkward situation and stepped over his bent legs. At the last moment, he spread his knees and sent me off balance. I tumbled onto his lap with a harsh crash, but his arms caught me easily. My back was pressed flush against him and his chest hairs tickled against the skin of the exposed shoulder; his firm erection pressed against my ass. Edward's left hand clasped around my thigh, and his right hand held fast, directly under my breasts. I shivered at the contact.

He pushed his mouth against my ear and told me, "I'm not finished with your tour, Bella. The _pup_ can wait."

A flare of anger replaced my lust and I quickly stood up, pushing him away from me as much as the cramped room would allow. "Do not speak about Jake that way. And yes, we _are_ finished with the tour. I need to get to work." Edward didn't block my way that time as I edged the door open and left the room.

Jake stood near the bunks, searching for me. I attempted to push all thoughts of Edward and the _almost_ kiss out of my mind. "Did you get some good shots?" I asked Jake, who looked me over in concern. He began to smile and nod, but stopped suddenly, reaching for my leg. I swatted his hand away without thinking.

With a stunned look on his face caused by my defensive actions, Jake pointed at my dress and told me, "Your...um, underwear is showing." I gasped and looked down. Sure enough, I'd missed a section when I had tried to straighten my dress before. Flushing crimson, I reached down and quickly corrected it.

"So, can I see the photos you took?" I asked Jake, trying to get his mind off my underwear. "I need to start on this week's blog as soon as we hit the road." He was looking a little ashen and shocked. I placed a gentle hand on his arm and patted it soothingly. "Maybe you'd like to see your bunk instead?" I asked him, trying desperately to move his thoughts away from the whirling no doubt going on in his mind.

Edward, pulling a T-shirt over his tall, muscled frame, stepped out of the bedroom to stand behind me with his forearm resting against the wall. Realization dawned on Jake's face, darkening his features and setting his face to stone.

"I, uh..." Jake stammered. "I think I'll just ride in the sound truck with Jared. He's a pretty cool guy, so I figured it would be nice to have someone to talk to during the hours on the road." Guilt washed over me. What he meant, but didn't say, was that he needed to get away from me.

I bit my lower lip and nodded slowly.

"Who wants some eggs and hash? It's an Irish classic, Eddie!" Emmett's voice boomed through the bus, giving me the moment I needed to escape the cage of these two men. Jasper folded the dining table out while Jake excused himself, saying he would take his breakfast with the crew. When I sat down at the table, Edward slipped in beside me and stretched his arm across the top of the leather sofa behind my back.

I leaned in next to Edward, letting him know I had a secret to share. He grinned and brought his ear down to my mouth. "I'd suggest you remove your arm from my seat," I not-so-quietly whispered. "Unless you want scalding coffee poured all over that autographed shirt."

Emmett's booming laughter echoed in the small space as Edward carefully removed his arm from my seat and placed it in his lap. It would have served him right if I did dump the coffee on him, the ass.

After breakfast, the boys rearranged the table and seating while I pulled out my MacBook and got set up for the interviews. With all of our luggage loaded underneath the bus, we were ready to leave. There was another show scheduled for the following night, and though we would be driving only a few hours to get to New York City, we would be hitting the road as quickly as possible.

Jared popped in around noon to tell us that everything was loaded and that _Axing Questions_ was ready to head out. Our driver, Danny, was a middle-aged guy who'd been around the concert circuit for his entire life. He started up the engine and the bus jerked to life. This was real; more palpable than what the weeks of planning had prepared me for. I was there with the band, ready to spend a year of my life dedicated to writing about them. It was completely surreal.

From the moment that Emmett sat down with me, I was able to move quickly through the interviews. I asked the most basic of questions for that first one. The questions were about their music, how long they'd been in the industry, and what they hoped to achieve from the tour. There had been no awkwardness between Edward and I during his turn, despite the fact that he'd apparently written a song about me and had made several passes at me. We just didn't talk about those things, though I often caught a look in his eyes that could only be described as longing—in a manly way, I suppose.

After the interviews, I sat on the comfortable sofa and started typing away at my blog entry, nibbling some sliced fruit. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until I felt fingers brushing gently over my face. Groggily, I opened my eyes to Edward's handsome, grinning face.

"We're here," he said, nodding toward the outside world.

Outside the window, we drove through Times Square. The sun was beginning to dip behind the skyscrapers, and the bright city lights were flickering to brilliant life. The world was busy and chaotic. People darted in and out of traffic, knowing exactly how to negotiate the barrage of yellow taxis and the stop-and-go traffic.

Edward stood and held a hand out to me when we came to a stop in front of the _Tribeca Grand Hotel_. I stared at his palm as though it were a rabid dog threatening to bite me.

"Can Danny call a cab to take me to my hotel?" I asked hesitantly. I didn't want to try to walk there in this new, unfamiliar city, and I had no idea where Jake was at the moment.

When he didn't respond, I looked up into his eyes, which were intense and passionate. Edward thrust his hand further toward me, silently begging me to take it. "They have great restaurants around here, and the night is still young. Please have dinner with me, Bella?"

A thrill rushed through me. We were in New York City! A big piece of me knew that this place would be a part of my future; at the time though, I just didn't realize how desperately true that would prove to be.

Finally smiling gently, I threw caution to the wind and reached up, accepting his outstretched hand. "All right, Edward."

cS-Cs

EPOV

When I persuaded the guys to go grab breakfast for everyone and let me have some time with Bella, I honestly hadn't expected the events that would proceed.

The day of the concert, I asked Emmett and Jasper to distract Black, knowing Bella would come out looking for the source of the dropped equipment. Yes, I'd done it on purpose. I was really beginning to grasp Bella's personality; she was kind and generous. Bella loved to help others, and I had hoped for as much when I'd purposefully dropped the armful of medal bars.

When Bella had rushed out to explore the noise, I watched her through the rearview mirror. I could tell she was looking me over; I'd expected it, and had foregone the shirt despite the chilly day. Ben had given me a few ideas of how to get Bella, or "Baby-B" as he called her, alone. He also told me to make sure to keep my shirt off. I wasn't really sure if he was giving the shirt advice because he really thought it would help me to nab Bella, or if he just wanted me waltzing around shirtless. Either way, I would take any advice he wanted to give me.

Suddenly, her notebook dropped out of her hand and the pen rolled toward me, and I knew the advice had paid off. She was watching the ground at that point, and I quickly stopped it with my foot and held it up to her.

We played a game of chicken, each daring the other to back down. Back and forth we went, until I finally gave myself away. "Czech women are the hottest," I had said to her, after she told me she was half Bohemian. She must have thought I was trying to make fun of her, but I insisted I wasn't, shaking my head vehemently. "Not at all! Look at this soft, round face, beautiful, pale skin, and luscious, curvy frame. It's a Czech thing, I'm telling you."

Her body was slim, yet curvy in all the right places. All I wanted to do was pull her to myself, which is exactly what I did after Bella called me out on lying about where the roadies were. I pushed her against that van and whispered her name. Her eyes begged me to kiss her, and I would have gotten the chance if it hadn't been for that motherfucker Black.

He managed to find a way to ruin all of my moments with Bella. I slammed my hand against the side of the van and cursed. When Bella moved away from me, despite me asking her to wait, I tried to keep close to her and send the message to Black.

Bella told me that she wouldn't be seeing me after the show, and that really stung. I wanted her beside me when we went to the after party. Actually, I wanted everyone to know that she was _mine_, but that might have been a little too much too soon...especially considering the fact that, well, she wasn't.

My world was shifting; my wants and desires were changing each time I saw her, and it terrified me. Bella was becoming so much more than a lustful thought or a conquest. I wanted all of her. Maybe it was the meds talking.

All I knew was that I had a hunger for her like I had never known before.

I watched her throughout the concert, trying to keep an eye on her after my earlier confession of liking her. Of course, she had refused to confess that she was feeling anything for me. Even when I told her it was written all over her face, Bella had pushed it aside. When I had asked Bella to join me for coffee, she'd sarcastically retorted that we'd be able to share one on the tour bus. At least it was something.

When I introduced _"La Belle"_ to the crowd, staring at Bella the entire time, I didn't miss the way her eyes glazed over and her chest heaved. Black interrupted our moment again by dragging Bella out the stage door and into the parking lot. The song ended a moment later, and though we had one song left, I pulled off my guitar and signaled to Jas to finish without me.

Thankfully, I'd caught up with Bella just in time to keep Black from kissing her...again. I moved him away from Bella and slammed him into the side of the van. "Maybe you should wait until the lady asks to be touched, Jacob," I told him with a deadly steel in my voice.

I would have fought him if Bella hadn't stepped between us. Something about the way she held her hand over my heart brought me out of my rage and back down to earth. Though I initially was very offended at her remarks about walking off the stage, I knew what she meant; I definitely shouldn't have walked off in the middle of the set. _Fuck._

As soon as she told me she would be at the bus at 10 a.m. and stalked away, I got back in Black's face. "I don't know what the fuck you think you're doing, Jacob, but you had better leave her alone. Bella doesn't need you manhandling her every time you don't like—"

"Ha!" he scoffed, cutting me off. "If there is anything that Bella doesn't need, it's _you_!"

I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes. We'd been through this before; I wasn't good enough for Bella. Blah, blah, blah. When I opened my eyes and saw the ounce of fear reflected in Black, I knew I would win. "I'm going to be fighting for her too, and I never said I'd fight fair," I told him with a steely resolve. Beyond the clenching of his jaw, he refused to respond. "See," I added. "I already know that she wants me. I can read it in her eyes every time she looks at me."

Black pushed away from me and started back toward the stage door. "You know," I called after him. "She doesn't look at you that way. She never will." He stilled momentarily before turning back and flipping me the bird. I couldn't contain the laugh that burst from me.

The next morning, I hadn't bothered to shave, or put on a shirt for that matter. It had been a late night at the after party. Women had clung to me, whispering wonderfully naughty things in my ears—well, they would have been wonderful if they'd come from the one person I wanted to hear them from. I'd managed to escape the party with only a couple of beers in my system, and not a single hit of weed. It felt pretty good, I had to admit.

When Bella arrived at the tour bus with Black, she was a few minutes early—prompt and professional. After I heard her gentle knock, I walked to the door only to find her checking herself out in the reflection of the glass. And holy fuck did that girl deserve to check herself out. There was nothing professional about that dress; it was far too short and exposed an impressive amount of her long, toned legs. And where the fuck had that tattoo come from? I saw the way it draped over her shoulder and slipped under her dress. Goddamn, I was going to fuck her today—I swore it to myself.

She was so fucking hot all the time; even in that odd get-up she wore the day before. I told her that sweater had made her look like an 80's movie-princess, and the sarcastic little minx had lifted an eyebrow and thanked me. Goddamn it, Bella Swan had the most alluring personality I'd ever known. She wasn't afraid of anything, including me. That sent my mind into a tailspin.

As she stood there, gazing at her reflection, I contemplated how easy it would be to get that sexy-as-hell dress off of her. Honestly, I never really considered cowboy boots to be risqué footwear until I saw them on Bella. She could pull off anything.

I gave her a tour of the bus, pointing out the silliest things that anyone could notice, but Bella seemed to enjoy it. When she had offered to teach me how to cook some meals, I couldn't help but think of all the great things those lessons could lead to. I wanted to fuck her, I wanted to have her at my mercy, but more earnestly, I wanted to be around her. The realization of that was terrifying.

When Bella tried to slip by me and into her new room, her tits had pressed right against my bare chest. _Oh, fuck me!_ The woman wasn't wearing a fucking bra. Bella's hardened nipples rubbed against me, and I did what any other red-blooded man would do—I pressed her against the door behind her and tried to tell her what I wanted to do to her. Amazingly, she managed to cut me off and slip past.

When Bella freaked out over me buying her a new mattress, I'd wanted to tell her that I was hoping to get some good use out of it as well. I'd love nothing more than to push her luscious body deep into the soft bed and show her how she affected me. But when she threw her arms around me, I almost had a heart attack. Bella felt so good, so fucking _right_, in my arms. I'd never said that about another woman—I'd never wanted to.

I pushed some loose hair behind her ear and left my fingers slide over her cheek and neck. Finally, I grasped behind her head and pulled her face toward mine. "Bella..." I whispered to her as I erased those final millimeters of space between us.

"All set, Bells!" Black's voice had broken through our perfect little bubble. My lips missed hers and landed on the very edge of her mouth. I still felt the shock reverberate through my body; it stung my lips and tingled down to my groin.

"Fuck..." I mumbled in astonishment, withdrawing my hands from her body. I rested my elbows on my knees, trying desperately to hide my erection, and pushed a hand through my hair. Our eyes locked; hers were filled with lust and need. The room was a livewire, sizzling with sexual tension.

When she stood, the edge of her sexy blue panties were showing. After I groaned, she tried to straighten them, but I didn't bother to mention that she'd missed a spot. Bella tried to climb over my legs, sticking her perfect ass in my face on purpose, but I spread my knees and forced her to fall onto my lap. I sure as hell wasn't going to help her get away.

I caught her against my chest, holding her tightly against me with a hand on her bare thigh and around her middle. She was so soft and smooth. The shiver of her little body against mine echoed through me as she wiggled on my hard erection.

Running my nose through her braided hair—inhaling the lavender and roses that was perfectly her scent—I said against her ear, "I'm not finished with your tour, Bella. The _pup_ can wait."

Suddenly she stood up, pushing away from my body. That wasn't exactly how I'd pictured that going. "Do not speak about Jake that way," she scolded. "And yes, we _are_ finished with the tour. I need to get to work." I didn't try to stop her from reaching the door the second time.

I gave Bella a few moments alone to deal with Black. He had a fine way of interrupting each time I got Bella alone, and it was really wearing on my last nerve. Though the meds were helping me regulate my emotions more evenly, I knew they wouldn't be able to help me calm my rage if he interrupted us one more time.

Slipping on the _Foo Fighters_ T-shirt that Dave Grohl had signed for me at our EP release party in Los Angeles, I stepped out of the room. Bella was asking Jake if he wanted to see the bunk that would be his home for the duration of the tour. I was _not_ looking forward to being near Jake, even if it was just to sleep. If Bella and I ended up where I was hoping, having Jake only a thin wall away would definitely be awkward. Not that I minded if he heard us or not, but I was planning to have Bella screaming my name in ecstasy in the very near future.

Jake obviously realized what had been going on between Bella and I when he stammered out that he'd be riding in the sound truck with Jared. Damn fucking straight; I didn't want him on the bus with us. Over the top of Bella's shoulder, I shot a smirk Jake's way. His eyes narrowed, and he inched closer.

"Who wants some eggs and hash? It's an Irish classic, Eddie!" Emmett's voice broke through the staring contest. Bella took that moment to escape from between the two of us. Black left the bus to join the crew for breakfast, giving up his fight for the time being. After she sat down, I slipped onto the sofa beside her while Jasper set everything on the fold-out table. I wrapped my arm over the back of her seat, suggesting with my body language the way I saw her as mine.

Bella leaned toward me; apparently, she had a secret to share. I grinned and leaned toward her with my ear near her mouth. "I'd suggest you remove your arm from my seat," Bella warned. "Unless you want scalding coffee poured all over that autographed shirt." I quickly removed my arm from the back of her seat and kept it to myself for the remainder of breakfast. Goddamn, the woman was hot and cold! _Fucking hell!_

We took turns letting Bella interview us after our meal was finished. She'd asked pretty easy questions, though I was unsure of what I was expecting her to ask. Part of me was really hoping for the tough, in-your-face questions that I knew this fiery woman was capable of asking. I wanted her to tear me down—my music at least—and challenge me to resurface. Perhaps next time.

It was adorable to watch her fall asleep, her head nodding off and popping back up every few moments. I'd been gently strumming my guitar, composing a new riff that had been in my head for the past week. Watching her drift to sleep to the strains of the music, I knew what it would be called: _"Bella's Lullaby."_ I continued to play it until I knew that she was fast asleep.

We stopped for lunch along the way, but still Bella didn't rouse. I'd thought of waking her up to eat, but since she'd had some fruit before falling asleep, I figured she could use the rest. She was only in Boston for two days, so the time difference from Seattle and jet lag must have exhausted her. Our four-and-a-half-hour trip easily became six, thanks to pit-stops.

When we neared Times Square, I decided to wake her. We had a similar eagerness for these adventures, and I knew Bella would want to see this. The city that never slept was lighting up in a buzz of anticipation.

I knew I had been right as I witnessed the thrill in her eyes. Something about this city tugged at my heartstrings, but since I couldn't place the reason, I pushed it away. When we arrived at the _Tribeca Grand Hotel_, I was going to offer to call a cab to drive her to her hotel—which was several blocks away and where Jared said he'd dropped off Black—but I knew I didn't want the night to end so quickly.

Instead, I reached my hand out to her and asked if she would have a dinner with me. I couldn't believe my own ears when she agreed and grasped my hand. Quickly, I helped her to her feet. She excused herself and went into the bedroom to freshen up, taking a small bag with her.

I grabbed my suit jacket from the small closet and shrugged it over my red shirt. I guess I looked good enough for a night out; the T-shirt and suit jacket look with jeans was "in" according to our publicist, Tanya Denali. I'd just have to take her word for it. I also made a mental note to be sure that we were in the same hotel in the next city.

Apparently, the bag that Bella had taken had contained some of her clothing, because she returned wearing a short black dress. It had a deep cut V and ended several inches above her knees. Black lace cascaded in layers over the dress, and the waist was cinched with a thick, black belt. Her feet were adorned with the pop of color which I knew that Bella would always have. The cobalt blue ankle boots drew my attention to her gorgeously muscled calves, and even showed a peep of her bright red toenails. I gulped as I took in the sight before me.

Bella shrugged and twisted her braid into a large knot on the back of her head. "I knew we'd be in New York tonight, I just didn't know it would be...you know...with you. I wanted to be prepared for a club or bar—or dinner in our case. I hope this is okay; I'm not really sure what I should wear. I'm sure that bar-hopping in The Big Apple is a little different than Seattle." She was adorable when she was nervous and rambling, but I put her out of her misery by crossing the space between us and taking her hands in my own.

"You're perfect," I told her, and the double meaning was not lost to me. "Let's go. I think we both need a drink."

Smiling hesitantly—beautifully—Bella allowed me to lead her off the bus and onto the busy New York sidewalk.

**A/N: **

**Thank you all for waiting a little longer for this chapter. I really, really hope to get chapter 13 to you a lot quicker. **

**In fact, here is a little teaser as a thank you for your patience! **

**Chapter 13 teaser:**

He pumped his fingers in and out of me, deeper and deeper with each stroke, while he sucked and bit at my clit. I thanked the powers on high for creating this incubus as a guitar master; his fingers were long and powerful as they pumped and twisted and stroked within me.

**Well, hopefully that has you coming back for more... And no, it's NOT a dream this time! :)))**

**And here is a Rec: **

The End, The Beginning by starpower31

"Are you guys lunatics? Edward is not some mob boss!" My life was supposed to be perfect. Everything was done - I was going to London. But then... Agent Jacob Black came into my life. And with him, came Edward. Now that they're here, I'm surrounded in a world of crime I can't get out of. Is it wrong that I don't WANT to get out? AH. Might be a little graphic for some. Mafiaward.

**LOVE!**

**Quinn**


	13. Give Me Everything

**PLEASE READ Author's Note**

**A/N: **

**Dearest reader, **

**You've stuck with me through 12 long chapters. You've been supportive and kind; but I know what you really want... ;-P **

**I hope this satisfies the horny girl in each of you! **

**XOXO**

**Quinn**

**PS. I EXPECT reviews. ;-P**

******Disclaimer: All publicly recognized characters are property of their respective owners. This story and all original characters are property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**The song for this chapter is "Give Me Everything" by Pitbull (ft Ne-Yo, etc...).**

"**Give Me Everything"**

_New York City_

BPOV

I sipped another shot of whiskey. It was something I wasn't entirely accustomed to; my usual drinks of choice were Vodka Cranberry, of course, and tequila, but Edward had asked me to try it. The whiskey burned in a foreign and unusual way, making the tear ducts in my eyes spring to life with moisture. Edward stared at me with a crooked grin. He still nursed his first shot, letting it sit between us while a candle cast an amber glow over the highly polished cherry tabletop.

When Edward had told me he wanted to grab dinner and a drink, I honestly thought that he meant Taco Bell or Subway—anything but the fancy, beautiful restaurant that he'd led me into. As we sat there—me eating the Burrata Cheese Ravioli and Edward enjoying the Tuna Steak—I wasn't entirely sure I was comfortable with the idea of this...date.

_Is that what this is?_

Well, he had successfully gotten me alone—all dressed up, mind you—and had managed to get alcohol into my system. It wasn't that I really minded the fact that we were alone; it just reminded me that I so desperately wanted to do bad things to this man's body. He'd made it blatantly obvious that he wanted me. And, now that I knew, I felt my resolve to dislike him for all of eternity slowly beginning to slip away.

Edward lifted his glass to his lips and smiled at me over its rim. I blushed and looked down at the table. "I'm fascinated by you, you know?" he told me. My eyes snapped back up to his, questioning. "I've never met a woman as bright and edgy as you. Honestly, I crave your mind."

My cheeks flamed under his admiring gaze. _Where did this man come from, and what in the world did he do with the Edward I remember?_

I lifted my glass and quickly downed the whiskey I had left. A coughing fit abruptly overtook my body. Edward slipped out of his side of the table and into the booth beside me. He patted my back harshly, trying to help me clear my lungs in much the same way that Grandma Swan had done when I was a child. As the coughing died down, Edward signaled for the waitress to bring me water. She returned with it quickly, and I downed half the glass in one swift gulp.

When my lungs and throat were cleared, I took a deep breath and offered a small, apologetic smile to Edward. Graciously, he grinned back and relaxed, placing his arm behind me. I allowed it this time. "I didn't realize that my confession would bring out such a reaction in you, Bella," he told me, chuckling. I rolled my eyes at him and cocked my head to the side, daring him to go on. Smirking, Edward said, "I want to get to know you. You know, beyond the unique clothing, the prescription-less glasses, and the bellybutton piercing that you keep hidden, hoping no one will notice it."

I gasped at him. How had he figured these things out?

Edward lifted his hands in surrender. "Now, now, don't get upset, Bella. I—"

"Am I really _that_ easy to figure out, Edward?" I asked in annoyed confusion.

Shaking his head, he laughed. "Honestly, no. You're one of the most complex, confusing creatures on the planet, and there is no way I would have been able to figure those things out on my own. Though I can think of an easy way to figure out the bellybutton piercing in question."

"Confusing!" I mocked, laughing and ignoring the innuendo. "Hello, kettle."

"Well, you have a certain way of hiding what you're thinking, and it really just makes me want to pound my head into a wall," Edward said with a smirk. "From that first night we met, it's been like this. I think I know what you're thinking one moment, and the next, you're a closed book—two completely different women," he said.

I gaped at him. He couldn't be serious. "Really, Edward!" I exclaimed. "We're obviously living in two very different worlds! That first night, you practically eye-fucked me from the stage!" I ignored his groan at my use of the word. Continuing, I told him, "And after that, you gave me mean looks and made snide remarks to me for the next two weeks! If anyone has multiple personalities here, it's _you_."

Edward's smile faded and he removed his arm from my seat. "Bella, about that first night..." he said, trailing off. _Was this it? Was he going to confess to me about his parents' fate, or would he try to hide?_ Honestly, I couldn't blame him if he did either, but I really hoped he would start to open up to me; I wanted to know who he was beyond the handsome face. Maybe that was just the whiskey talking—the room did seem to swim a bit.

"Look, Edward," I told him, attempting to find a middle ground. "I am an open book. Tell me anything and ask whatever you want to."

He let out a humorless chuckle. "So the interviewer becomes the interviewee?" I only shrugged; how else could I respond? "How about you tell me something about yourself that Rose, Alice, or Ben don't know."

Biting my lip, I contemplated his request. I could easily make it impersonal—something as simple as the fact that I wore braces from age 13 to almost 19 might suffice as something my best of friends weren't aware of; but something made me want to open up to him. Yeah, it was definitely the whiskey.

"Okay, well," I started, wracking my mind for something to share. "My very first boyfriend ended up being gay. Aaron kissed better than any boy I'd ever kissed before that, and I was so confused when I walked in on him making out with Cody Corrington." It was the first thing that came to mind. Edward stared at me with an odd expression before he unexpectedly burst out in laughter. _Fuck. I'm never drinking whiskey again. _

As his laughter finally died down, Edward licked his lips and rubbed a hand across his face. "I, uh...was expecting something a tad deeper, but okay then."

I shoved at his arm, which had found its way back to my seat, and huffed. "Oh, come on! What am I supposed to tell you?" I asked with a smirk.

"I don't know," he said thoughtfully. "How about what made you want to be a journalist? Or what famous dead person you'd like to go back in time to have coffee with?"

Those were actually both really good questions, and I rolled my eyes for not thinking of them myself. I took a moment to contemplate them before answering. "Well, for a famous person that I'd want to have coffee with, I'm torn between choosing Marilyn Monroe and Zelda Fitzgerald. Monroe had the obvious flair and tenacity to keep life exciting, but Fitzgerald was a great writer and had an equally adventurous life. Both died tragically though... That's definitely a hard question to answer."

Edward smiled widely. "Marilyn Monroe was _so hot_!" he exclaimed with a smirk.

Rolling my eyes at him, I laughed. "Yeah, yeah. All men think alike, right _Eddie_?" I questioned teasingly, throwing in the nickname he'd told me that he hated. I knew I'd reserved it as ammunition for a good reason.

"Hey! You're the only one allowed to call me that, OK?" Edward said with a snort. "Do _not_ tell Emmett that I gave you permission."

I nodded with a giggle and went on. "But her attractiveness is completely beside the point." Shrugging, Edward lifted his hand and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "Anyway," I continued, "I suppose I wanted to be a journalist because I've always loved to read. Dad would give me his newspaper when he had finished with it every morning. I would cut out articles that interested me and made a huge scrapbook with all of them. I think he actually kept them, along with all the articles I've ever written. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'll be a Pulitzer Prize winning writer someday." I laughed loudly and rolled my eyes.

But Edward didn't. He smiled lightly and let his hand slide from my hair, where I hadn't realized he'd been resting it, to my back. His fingertips drew a sensuous pattern on my exposed skin. "Well, he may be right," Edward told me quietly, his eyes serious and seductive.

I swallowed thickly, desperately trying to escape the haze building around me. Edward made my world tilt on its axis, blurred lines I'd firmly set into place, and created a new dimension of reality for me. "So," I said, attempting to ignore the hand that traced up and down my back. "Is there anything you want to tell me, Edward? Off the record of course." I threw that last bit in there with the hopes of diverting the conversation away from me, and to remind him—and myself—that I was here because of my career.

Edward blinked several times and looked down at his drink. The movements on my back had ceased in the midst of his concentration.

"My parents were very unhappily married," he confessed. I paused, holding my breath. I hadn't expected this. "They stayed together because of me, but I always figured they would divorce once I had graduated high school. They didn't fight in front of me and always put on their happy faces for me, but I knew that they didn't really want to be married. I could just tell, even as a little kid."

I was conflicted. _Should I tell him I knew about his biological parents or just let him tell his story?_ I decided to take the honest approach. "I, uh... Jake and I did some research before we left Seattle. I'm so sorry about your parents, Edward. I'm so sorry."

He glanced up at me, startled. "I thought those records were sealed?" Edward's voice dripped with confusion, accusations, curiosity, and pain.

"Oh, they are," I assured him. "We just managed to find some old newspaper articles and came across the one about the...about their..." I didn't know how to finish my sentence. _Bombing _sounded heartless; _deaths_ sounded impersonal.

"Yeah, well," said Edward, swallowing thickly. "They died a long time ago and there isn't anything I can do about it now. Carlisle and Esme were great to take me in and give me my life back. They knew my parents from when Carlisle was a doctor in Chicago. They certainly didn't have to take me in, but I'm very grateful that they did."

He was delving so deep into things that no research could ever provide. The journalistic side of me wished I would have brought a recorder to get all of this down, but something inside told me that this was part of his healing process and to keep the column out of it.

"I'm sure that the Cullens have been very kind. A lot of your music is about your family, isn't it?" I asked, placing a hand on his thigh beneath the table. Edward's eyes snapped up to mine, full of wonder.

"You understood that from my music?" he asked me, covering my hand that rested on his leg with his own. I nodded hesitantly, unsure if I had done something right or wrong. "No one ever understands my songs. Jasper says they'll scare off fans, and Emmett is just too giddy all the fucking time to get it."

I smiled gently, expressing without words that I understood him; I wanted to be there for him. For the first time in a very long time, I felt a desire to take care of someone other than myself. "Beyond the obvious of your wonderful voice and good looks, I think that you have an amazing talent, Edward. You write from your heart and from your head; I don't know of too many singers who can claim the same. A lot of musicians have someone else to write their music for them. You're one of a kind, and your past only adds to it."

Edward studied me curiously for a moment. "You think I look good?" he asked. I burst out in laughter; I couldn't contain it.

"That is the _only_ thing you took from that whole spiel?" I asked through my chortling and chuckling. But the gaze that he fixed me with sobered me instantly.

"It's all that matters right now." His words were soft and close, tickling my cheeks and my chest. I flushed scarlet, unable to contain the desire I knew was registering in my eyes. "Do you want to get out of here?" he asked, releasing my hand and fishing out his wallet.

"I, uh... I should probably head over to my hotel," I stated lamely, unsure of what to say, if anything at all was sufficient.

Edward's eyes snapped up to meet mine; they pleaded with me. "Please, Bella," he implored. "The night is so young, and we're in the greatest city in the world. Please, come with me?"

"Edward..." I said, trailing off. I wasn't sure what to do. I desperately wanted to join him, but where would it really get me? _Probably to orgasmic levels of paradise..._ I knew that my mind was right, but was I really willing to take a risk on Edward? One night might be all right, but I wasn't really sure that I would be able to stop there. If we started up something that was doomed to fail then I wouldn't be able to continue on the tour—it would be far too awkward.

_Unless, of course, it _isn't _doomed..._

Well, my internal dialogue was certainly on fire tonight.

"Okay," I heard myself saying. The words had slipped out of my mouth before I realized I was speaking. The smile that lit his face could have lit a million stars; I'd never seen something so radiant in my entire life. This time, I knew it was not the whiskey.

Throwing down some bills, Edward stood up and grabbed my hand. His large palm wrapped around mine as he threaded our fingers together and pulled me to my feet. When he placed his other hand on the small of my back, the gesture was intimate and electrifying. A thrill ran up my spine.

cS-Cs

The club was busy and a crowd of patrons formed a line behind the red, velvet ropes. Women, scantily clad in dresses that looked like they'd been sewn into them, and men with suits and ties lined the sidewalk.

"They aren't going to just let us in, Edward," I warned him as we approached the entrance. But he smirked, shooting me his crooked grin, and pushed me ahead of him until I came to a stop in front of the bouncers. To my surprise, they immediately lifted the rope for us to pass. The patrons in line whined and protested our easy entry; I even heard a couple of the women ask if that was Edward Cullen with me.

"Have a nice evening, Ms. Swan, Mr. Cullen," a very large bouncer with black dreadlocks said formally as we passed.

I looked up to Edward, questioning. "What was that about?" I asked him.

With a shrug, Edward told me, "_Skyline_ is owned by the Hales. I've been here before, but Jasper let them know that we would be in tonight."

"But how would he know?" I certainly hadn't planned to be here with Edward, and he'd only just asked me twenty minutes before.

Edward led me to the bar. "Just a hunch," he said nonchalantly. When the bartender saw us, he immediately came over to get our order.

"What can I get for you, Ms. Swan?" the man asked. I was too startled to answer. _Does everyone here know who we are?_ It was so odd; I felt like a celebrity, being waited on hand and foot.

"Cranberry and Grey Goose for the lady, and a Guinness draft for myself," Edward ordered for us since I was too startled by the situation to respond.

When we got our drinks, a waitress led us to a VIP lounge in the back of the enormous room. Edward allowed me to sit on the leather sofa first before sitting beside me. Some of the others around us attempted to make small talk, and I engaged in a few short conversations, but Edward only nodded and mumbled when necessary. Otherwise, he only people-watched and sipped his beer.

"Do you want to dance, Bella?" one of the handsome men asked me. Panic gripped me; what would Edward think?I glanced at him and saw that a voluptuous redhead had appeared beside him. I pushed down the burn of jealousy and nodded to the dark-haired man beside me.

He helped me to my feet as I finished my third Vodka Cranberry. The man was handsome, with dark features of someone from the Caribbean or Puerto Rico.

"Bella?" Edward called after me as the man led me toward the dance floor, but I ignored him. I wanted to have some fun, and Edward already had company.

"So what do you do, Bella—is it?" the man asked me loudly as we weaved our way through the crowd. I nodded in affirmation.

"I'm a journalist," I yelled back to him over the sound of the music. "I'm from Seattle; just out here with a band."

"Is that one of the band members? He isn't your boyfriend, is he?" he asked, referring to Edward. I shook my head fervently.

"What do you do, um..." I trailed off, a silent request for his name.

"Uh, Navarro. Juan Navarro. I play ball—" he said, but I cut him off.

"Juan Navarro? As in the _Yankees_ number 16, closing pitcher, Juan Navarro?" I stopped in my tracks and gasped. Juan nodded and blushed a little. "I knew you looked familiar! Holy shit!" I exclaimed and then threw my hands over my mouth. He had the decency to laugh and smile, despite my outburst. Juan stuck out his hand, and I placed mine in it, giving a firm shake. "I'll have to get an autograph for my dad," I told him with a giggle.

"Maybe the next time you're in town, you can call me and I'll take you out," he suggested. "You're a journalist," he added with a wink, "so look up my agent and he'll help you get in touch with me." Had a famous pitcher seriously just hit on me? I was too shocked to react, my thoughts immediately flew to Edward.

The room was spinning a little bit, and I began to tilt on my feet. He took our clasped hands and pulled me close to his body. "Thanks," I mumbled to him, attempting to right myself.

"It's okay, babe," he said with a wink. "Let's dance."

The DJ played Usher's "_Yeah!"_ at that moment, and Juan spun me around and began to grind against me. I won't deny that it felt great to dance and have a hot male body moving against me. The man sure as hell knew what he was doing. Together, we danced against each other for a while, until his hands started to wander from my sides, to my hips, to my groin. He pressed me back into his erection for a moment, until I heard a murderous growl. Suddenly, I no longer felt him against my back.

"If you don't want your throwing arm broken, you'd better back the fuck off, Navarro," Edward's venomous voice registered in my ears.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, man?" Juan spat at Edward as he stumbled back. "She said you aren't together."

"We came here together," Edward told him, gripping me by my arms and pulling me to him. "And we're leaving together."

There was no preamble when his lips descended to mine. None was needed. As they moved against me, they told me stories of the greatest epics, of glorious battles, of the sweetest victories. The firm grip with which he held me belied the softness of his kiss. The passion radiated throughout my body, bringing in its wake a deep, intense yearning for more. I needed more.

I needed _him_ more than I'd ever needed anything in my life.

There, in the middle of the crowded, busy dance floor, Edward sealed our lips together. I had never been kissed like that in my life. His hands gripped my face, tilting my head and bending me where he willed.

"Come with me," he almost begged me when he finally pulled back. I nodded my consent, unable to do anything else, and he pulled me with him.

Edward hailed a cab as soon as we exited the club. Tugging my hand to climb into the back of the yellow taxi first, I slid in, and Edward followed after me. I sat, staring wide-eyed as he rambled off the address of his hotel. As soon as the car jerked into motion, Edward gripped my arm and pulled me roughly to his body.

His lips moved against mine in a tantalizing motion. Our tongues danced against each other, battling for dominance. As soon as I lifted my arms to reach for him though, Edward pulled away, panting for air, chest heaving. My eyes snapped open from their dazed state.

"Thanks, man," Edward said to the cabbie, throwing a few bills at him. Quickly, Edward climbed out of the taxi and pulled me along with him. His hand was a vise-grip on mine, making certain that I wouldn't be running away.

As Edward led me into the hotel, my insides felt like I had been riding the Tilt-A-Whirl at the county fairs I had attended while growing up; that twisting feeling in my stomach was the same. The hotel's huge staircase loomed before us like a daunting giant stalking toward me, taunting me with its knowledge that I would be surrendering. Surely, I would end up spending the night in Edward Cullen's room.

Thankfully, he steered me to the left and immediately into a waiting elevator car. As soon as we stepped inside of the confined space, I was pressed to the back of the elevator wall, and Edward's lips were back on mine. His hands were everywhere, pushing up the hem of my dress, tugging at the straps on my shoulders.

"W—wait..." I stuttered out between labored breaths. He tore his lips from mine and was against the opposite wall in an instant. He couldn't just screw me in an elevator, for God's sake.

"Isa—uh... Bella, I'm sorry. Please," he begged, but kept his distance, assuming I was telling him to stop. In that moment, I realized that I did not want him to stop at all. I brushed the mussed hair out of my face and put my body in motion. I didn't think; I simply acted.

_Fuck propriety. I want him _now_._

My body was telling me what I wanted, and for the first time in my life, I was going to allow myself to have that thing.

His eyes were wide and shocked as he watched me stalk toward him. Placing my left hand against his solid, muscular chest, I reached up and wrapped my right hand around his neck. Our lips met in an explosion of fervor as I tugged him toward me. The world shook around us, but we were rooted to each other—melted together in an embrace worthy of storybooks.

Edward's lips were demanding against mine, and his tongue insisted upon entrance into my mouth. I parted my lips and his hot tongue met mine in a new level of zealousness. His hands held my face as I clung to him.

I was unaware of the elevator doors opening to his floor until I was lifted into the air and my back was pressed against the hallway's wallpaper. Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around Edward's waist. While his lips moved against mine, our lower bodies ground against each other in a sensual tango.

Somehow, he managed to pull the room key out of his pocket and slip it into the key slot. The darkness invaded my senses, as we were one moment in the brightly lit hall and the next in a very dim hotel suite. Darkness would not dampen our impassioned frenzy, however.

There, against the hotel room wall, Edward ground his erection into me as I whimpered and moaned into his mouth. His hands found my breasts, squeezing and kneading them roughly. At any other moment it would have hurt to be in the vise-grip of such hands—strengthened by the constant playing of the guitar; but now, each pinch and press only caused a wave of desire to wash over me.

When Edward abruptly slid me down his body and placed me on my feet, I cried out in protest. But he was quick to rectify the situation when he shrugged out of his jacket, pulled his shirt off over his head, and dropped to his knees before me. I gasped as he ran his hands over my bare calves, behind my knees, and up the back of my thighs.

"Edward?" I asked timidly. I was terrified of letting him continue, but even more terrified of stopping him.

With a hooded, erotic gaze, he lifted his eyes to mine. I whimpered at what I saw in them: heat, passion, lust. Emotions raged within him, and I swallowed thickly as I watched him lift up the hem of my dress. Edward's hands slid up my legs, carrying my dress with them until he reached my waist.

He closed his eyes and bent lower, his lips dancing over my thighs. "Spread your legs," he told me in a husky, deep voice I'd never heard from him. The sound waves of the deep bass slammed into my groin, and I shivered in anticipation. I moaned and mewled, but I could not move. Instead, Edward's head nudged my knees farther apart, until I stood with my ankles spread wide on either side of his knees.

"Eddie..." I moaned. I had called him that at dinner; and though he hated when Emmett referred to him with that nickname, he'd already given me permission to use it. I saw how turned on he was by it.

"Somehow, that nickname is perfect when it drips from your honey-lips." His words were raw, eliciting a whimper from me.

With his hands on my waist, Edward brought his lips close once again. He kissed along my stomach and ran his tongue over my navel, smiling against my skin when I yelped in surprise. Lower, he descended, planting wet, open mouthed kisses along my hips and the line above my blue, lacy panties.

He was getting so close to where I wanted him. No one had ever turned me on so much, and I could feel the way my panties were soaked through. He placed his nose in the apex of my thighs and inhaled deeply. Edward's groan resounded throughout my body, sending goose bumps over my flesh.

"God, you smell so fucking good." Head low and still pressed against me, his voice was everything suggestive and seductive. "I can't live another minute without tasting you, Isabella." Another flood of desire gripped my body, and I squeezed my knees together against him, attempting to get some friction where I so desperately needed it. "I can't wait, Bella, I'm sorry," he whispered.

_Why is he apologizing?_ My hazy brain couldn't register anything to be sorry for. This was the most titillating foreplay of my life.

Grasping my dress tightly, he gathered all the loose fabric in his right hand. His left came down between my spread legs, gently stroking along the soaking lace and drawing a cry from me.

"Take these off," his husky voice told me. Blinking rapidly and my chest heaving, I began to pull away from him in order to shimmy out of the offending lace. But he stopped me instantly, pulling me back to my position against the wall. "Never mind," he said roughly. "You're not moving."

In the next instant, his left hand had grasped my panties and moved them to the side. They dug unforgivingly into my inner thigh, but a moment later, all thoughts of discomfort were forgotten.

Edward's tongue darted out, and he moaned as he took his first taste of me. My knees began to buckle from the intensity of his fervor, but he steadied me against his face. Over and over, he licked me—French-kissing my lower lips with the eagerness of a dying man. When Edward's lips latched onto my clit, sucking and teasing, I cried out into the dim room. Nothing had ever felt so intense and erotic in my life.

His grip on my dress loosened, and he allowed it to fall over him and cover his head. The fact that I couldn't see what he was doing down _there_ and could only feel it, left me shaking with need. I felt two fingers slide inside of me. I was so wet from both the ministrations of his mouth and from my own arousal that they met no resistance.

He pumped his fingers in and out of me, deeper and deeper with each stroke, while he sucked and bit at my clit. I thanked the powers on high for creating this incubus as a guitar master; his fingers were long and powerful as they pumped and twisted and stroked within me. But I needed more. I lifted my hands from their place against the wall behind me up to my breasts, kneading them and pinching my nipples.

My orgasm overtook my body with great occupation. My entire body shook as I writhed against Edward's face and his fingers. He moaned against me and moved his tongue back to my entrance, drinking me in.

When his thirst was quenched and my body hummed in tender satiation, Edward rose from his knees. His lips immediately found mine, and I tasted myself on them as he assaulted my mouth.

Though my whole body felt weak and unsteady, Edward held me firmly against him until my legs began to regain their strength. His fingers found the zipper at the back of my dress and slowly pulled it down. Our kisses were not the hurried frenzy of before; now Edward seemed to worship my mouth with his lips and tongue.

"God, you are so beautiful, Bella," he whispered against my mouth. I moaned, unsure of how to respond.

Edward tugged the straps of my dress off my shoulders and down my arms in one swift motion. When it pooled at my feet, Edward stepped back to admire the sight before him. All I wore was my blue, lace panties and my cobalt blue, heeled ankle boots. I wore no bra with the dress, since I hadn't thought of packing one in the travel bag and I hadn't worn one with the peasant dress from earlier.

Reaching out his hand, Edward traced the tattoo above my heart. It was a yellow butterfly, perched on a branch; I'd had it done in honor of my Grandma Swan when she had passed away.

"Is there any other artwork you've kept hidden from me, Isabella?" Edward asked with a hint of humor. I didn't know what it was—perhaps a spirit overtook my body—but I became a temptress as I turned around with a shimmy of my hips. I watched him over my shoulder as I put my entire rose vine tattoo on full display.

Suddenly, the front of my body was pressed up against the wall. Edward pinned me there with his hard, jean-covered erection pressing into my lower back. His lips attacked my neck and jawline as he ground against me.

"I thought that you were a tease, but I had no idea," he said into my ear, nipping at the lobe. I pressed my palms flat against the wall and pushed back, bringing my ass into direct contact with him. Groaning, he reached a hand around me and cupped my breast, squeezing roughly. When I cried out in a mixture of pleasure and pain, he reached the other hand around and did the same. I'm sure we looked like an erotic pornography. I was pressing off the wall, bent at my hips, as he dry humped my ass and kneaded my breasts.

He pulled me up against his chest. When his left hand descended into my panties to stroke me, I allowed my head to drop back against his shoulder. The arousal was flooding me yet again and I knew another orgasm was imminent. But then, he pulled back for a moment and spun me around. My breasts were pressed tightly against his bare chest and his lips found mine again.

Edward Cullen was a master kisser. Holy fucking shit, this man knew what he was doing.

Swiftly, he tore his mouth from mine. Bending down, he picked me up under my ass, walking the three strides to the bed and tossed me down onto it. I landed with a huff in the center of the mattress. I lifted myself up onto my elbows as I watched him toe off his fuck-hot Converse shoes and black socks. I bit my lip as he moved onto his belt. Fuck, but I wanted to do that part.

Quickly, I scrambled to my knees and crawled to the edge of the bed. "Let me," I said, my voice sounding foreign and raspy. Edward's eyes snapped to mine, and the crooked grin that I was coming to adore appeared on his lips. When he held his hands up in surrender, I got to work.

I unbuckled the studded belt and pulled it from his jeans in a single swift motion. Throwing it to the other side of the bed, I moved on to his jeans. Each button brought me closer to where I desperately wanted to be. Finally, they were all loosened and I was able to tug them down his legs until they fell to his knees. His eyes never left mine as he kicked them the rest of the way off.

Standing in the dim room, wearing only a pair of gray boxers, he was gorgeous. But when he hooked his thumbs into the waistband and lowered them down to the floor in a quick movement, I was speechless. Edward was every bit the sex-god I had expected him to be. Even my hazy mind could see it. His cock jutted out straight and hard from his body; it was thicker and longer than any I had ever had. I swallowed hard at the thought of it being inside me. My girlie bits ached in anticipation.

He allowed me to look him over—to ogle him. For the first time, I was able to see Edward's body completely bare; I cursed myself for not hitting him over the head on that first night I saw him and dragging him off to have my way with him. Oh, the time I had wasted.

Swiftly, I was on my back again, and Edward was hovering over me with his hands holding himself up. Our pelvises were pressed together and his thick erection ground against my panties. He kissed and licked and nipped at my exposed skin. Finally, his lips and hands reached the last remaining piece of clothing between us. He hooked a finger around each side. Edward's eyes met mine. "When I saw these on the bus, I knew I had to have you tonight," his gravelly voice told me. "Now, though, they have to go." In a swift tug, he had them down to my knees. I lifted my legs in the air in order to make it easier to finish removing them. When they were off of me, Edward pulled them to his nose and inhaled deeply. "Do you have any idea how good you smell, Isabella? It's the best aroma; and I did this to you," he declared with a crooked grin. I whimpered, my nipples hardening, and sunk deeper into the bed.

While Edward reached over the edge of the bed for his jeans and pulled out a condom from his wallet, I slipped out of my shoes. I leaned back on my elbows to watch him as he lifted the foil packet to his mouth and placed the edge between his teeth. He ripped the packet open, and I groaned. _Fuck. _When he slipped the condom over his cock, I pressed my knees together to create some friction. How was it possible that a man putting on a condom could be such an incredibly erotic sight to behold?

I moved myself to the pillows as he finished. Finally, Edward crawled back over my body. "Bella," he whispered, and his lips captured mine once again. His lips tugged and moved against mine until I thought I would combust. He lifted himself up on one hand, his muscled arms flexing with the strain. Reaching between our bodies, Edward grasped his cock, running it against my soaking folds, teasing me.

"Edward," I begged. "Please..."

"I want you, Bella," he told me as he aligned himself with me, pressing against my entrance. "You want this?" he asked quietly, stilling.

My eyes snapped to him, and I nodded urgently. "Please, I need you," I pleaded with a lusty moan.

His eyes searched mine, attempting to verify if my words were true. Nodding to himself and seemingly deciding I spoke the truth, Edward lowered himself back down with his elbows on either side of my shoulders. He slid his right hand down my side and under my knee, lifting it to hook over his hip. The new angle caused his cock to press into me a fraction of an inch. We both moaned together.

Edward brought his mouth back to mine and pushed further into me. My pussy stretched and ached against his intrusion. It had been far too long. Slowly, he pressed in and pulled out, until he had slid all the way into my tight walls.

"Oh, fucking God, Isabella," he moaned. The deep bass had returned to his voice. "So fucking tight, so wet..." His words trailed off as he pulled out with one stroke and thrust deeper with the next. So fucking good. I lifted my other leg and wrapped it over his hip. The new angle drove him even deeper than before, and he pounded relentlessly into me.

When Edward sat back on his knees, placing his arms under my back and pulling me up with him, I finally felt the extent of his magnificent cock. Still buried deep inside of me, I sat on his lap with my legs wrapped around him as he rocked into me. When he knew I was balanced, he moved his hands to my hips to guide my movements. I reached up, threading my fingers through his hair, and pulled his mouth to mine. Our tongues battled each other and our moans were muffled by their duel.

When I couldn't take any more of the position, I leaned back onto my elbows. My back was arched off the bed and my lower body was still wrapped around his as he sat back on his heels.

"Fucking hell," he mumbled as he watched me in my new position. He slid his thumb into my open, panting mouth. "Suck," he ordered. I obeyed, sucking, licking, teasing. When it was sufficiently dripping wet, he pulled it from my lips and placed it over my bundle of nerves.

"Agh!" I screamed out at the sudden contact. It was still tender and hypersensitive from the oral attention I had received. His thumb was soft, unlike the rest of his fingers,which had long ago callused from fretting guitar strings. He circled my clit over and over until my hips were bucking and writhing for him.

"Come on, baby," he groaned. "I know you have another one in there for me." At his words, my body began convulsing and spasming around his cock, and my elbows gave out on me. I fell to my back as my body continued to rock from the orgasm that Edward was pulling from me.

He pushed off his heels and hovered over my body once more, thrusting into me with the force of a god. It drew out my climax until I was shaking with the need for mercy. The very moment that it became too much to handle, Edward cried out my name and I felt him pulse inside of my clenched walls.

Our movements stilled and Edward pulled out of my body, sliding down my torso until he came to rest with his head against my stomach. The position was intimate and tender, and I watched his head lift and sink with the movements of my breathing. We stayed that way for a long while, neither of us attempting to gather the strength to move.

I must have dozed off, because my eyes shot open when I felt his weight lift away from my body. Taking the opportunity to stretch my overworked, sore muscles, I flexed everything from my neck to my toes.

"I'll be right back, love," Edward whispered, climbing off the bed and walking toward the bathroom.

I curled onto my side and tucked a pillow under my head. Despite my tipsiness, I knew what staying here would mean; it would create an "us." Yet, somehow, I couldn't bring myself to move from his bed.

My heavy eyelids slowly closed. The last thing I remember of that night was a soft pillow under my head, and a warm body pulling me close.

**A/N:**

**Do we need to call 9-1-1? Are you all still with me? -P**

**Deep breaths, y'all. **

**Now go review, and maybe I'll give you another lemon in the next chapter too... ;-P**


	14. All My Life

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Our Caged Skylark playlist (so far):**

**-Opener (You Me and Apollo)**

**-Somebody Told Me (The Killers)**

**-A Pearl (You Me and Apollo)**

**-Bulletproof (The Goo Goo Dolls)**

**-Black Bird (The Beatles)**

**-15 Step (Radiohead)**

**-Amigone (The Goo Goo Dolls)**

**-Closing Time (Semisonic)**

**-Raise Your Glass (P!nk)**

**-Smile Like You Mean It (The Killers)**

**-Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Pat Benetar)**

**-Chasing Pavements (Adele)**

**-Give Me Everything (Pitbull, Ne-Yo, etc...)**

**-All My Life (Foo Fighters)**

**I'd like to say THANK YOU for the ENORMOUS response to the last chapter. You're all fantastic. I'm glad you all loved their first time! Eeeeek!**

**I'd also like to say THANK YOU for the amazing, supportive friends I have on here. Several of you have reached out to me this week, and I love you for it! I know you're all kick-ass!**

**The song for this chapter is "All My Life" by Foo Fighters. Enjoy!**

"All My Life"

BPOV

I awoke to a bright ray of sunlight beaming in through a small opening between the heavy curtains. I squinted against the bright invasion and pressed my palm to my temple, hoping to force away the ache. _Fuck my life. I really have been drinking too much lately._ The second shot of whiskey with dinner and the three Vodka Cranberries, had been totally unnecessary, but there was just something about Edward Cullen that made me want to let my inhibitions fade into oblivion.

_Shit! Edward!_ I sat up too quickly; my head spun. I clutched the sides of my head against the drum beating inside of it. That was the last time I would mix liquors, I swore to myself. As the pounding in my head began to fade into a soft rap, I peeked from under my hand toward the other side of the bed.

Edward was sleeping peacefully on his back beside me, with one arm tucked under my pillow and the other thrown over his eyes to block out the same light that had woken me. His hair was mussed—literally "sex hair." Just remembering how I had gripped it while he pounded into me sent another wave of desire through my body.

The entire night had been everything I'd imagined it could be—a breath-taking, erotic masterpiece. I'd never had a man go down on me like that. Sure, on a bed with a few licks I'd experienced, but those sessions usually left me dissatisfied and ready to call it a night. Certainly, I'd never climaxed from oral sex alone. But when Edward had put his long, callused guitar-fingers in my pussy as he sucked my clit, I'd had the most mind blowing orgasm I'd ever experienced. The second orgasm of the night, as he held my hips against his and his thick cock slammed inside of me, easily rivaled the first. I'd slept satiated and peaceful, slipping blissfully into a post-orgasmic coma.

But now, I desperately had to pee. I slipped off the large bed, bending to grab my discarded panties from the floor. Making sure to close the door before I flipped the bathroom light switch, I studied myself in the mirror. My naked breasts looked thoroughly abused with whisker scratches, proof that Edward hadn't shaved the day before. Thankfully, that was the extent of the marks on my body, and they could obviously be easily covered.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe no one would realize what we'd done. If I managed to slip out of here before Edward woke up, we could just play the entire thing off. The night had been wonderful, and it wasn't that I regretted it, but it had been very spur-of-the-moment. There was much we needed to discuss: Was this a _one-time_ thing? Did I want it to be? How would it impact our professional relationship? How would I be able to interview him and ask the tough questions, knowing that I'd allowed him to stick his tongue inside my pussy?

_Gah!_

I couldn't think of all those things at that moment; I needed to take a deep breath and clear my mind. Turning on the cold faucet, I splashed the frigid water against my flushed skin, which was burning from the thoughts of last night swirling in my head. Then, I filled the sink with hot water and threw my ruined panties into it. The little bar of soap provided by the hotel would have to do. I scrubbed at the crotch of my panties, fiercely trying to remove the evidence of my arousal. When they seemed to be as clean as they could possibly get, I wrung them out and towel dried them as best I could. They were still very damp when I slipped into them, but I soldiered on—a girl on a mission.

My dress lay rumpled on the floor, right beside Edward's T-shirt and jacket. I slipped it on and zipped the back. There was no way this outfit would pass for daytime, so I knew I'd be partaking in the walk-of-shame; I just prayed that I didn't run into any of the band members. My shoes were just under the edge of the bed, and I stepped into them as quietly as possible.

Later, we would figure all of these things out, but right then, I desperately needed some breathing room. So, as I snuck out of the hotel room and rushed down the hallway, where only hours before we'd been grinding like teenagers, I made a promise to myself that this didn't mean I was running away. I would suck it up and face Edward at some point. Hell, what choice did I have? We'd have many hours on the bus ahead of us. I just didn't want to have to face him today—not with the memories of our night together so fresh in my mind.

I kept my head down and avoided any potentially judgmental glares from the other hotel patrons. I hailed a cab when I got out to the street, giving the man the address of my hotel. We zipped away through the Manhattan streets.

I knew I would see Edward later that evening for their first New York concert at the _Hammerstein Ballroom_. I wondered if maybe I might be able to sneak into the concert after the show began and avoid him all together. My mind whirled with scenarios. When I finally got to my own hotel room, I jumped in the shower and washed the scent of Edward Cullen off my skin.

cS-Cs

EPOV

A soft clicking noise stirred me from the most excellent of sleeps. Yawning, I rubbed at my face. _What a fucking spectacular night. _I rolled toward Bella's side of the bed, expecting to come into contact with her soft, warm body. I was really looking forward to her _assistance_ with taking care of the morning wood I was currently sporting. But all I found were cold, empty sheets where her sinful body had been.

My eyes shot open, searching for her. The bathroom light was off and the door was open; she wasn't in there. I looked to where I'd dropped her dress to the floor, but it was gone.

"Fuck!" I yelled into the empty room. That was the best I'd slept in years, and unfortunately, it had caused me to sleep right through her getaway. _Goddamn that woman for pulling that shit on me after that fucking amazing night! _

Scrambling from the bed, I reached for my jeans and slipped into them as quickly as possible. I rushed out of the room after grabbing the key card from the floor and pulling last night's T-shirt over my head. I made it down to the lobby just in time to see Bella slip into a taxi and watch it pull out into traffic.

"Goddammit!" I yelled in the middle of the lobby. Receiving more than a few curious glances from the other guests, I pushed my hands through my hair before flipping off my audience as I turned back toward the elevators.

My room was cool, empty, and quiet, where the night before had been filled with sweaty fucking, moaning, and Bella screaming in ecstasy. Women! God, what the hell was I supposed to do with her?

I would deal with Bella, and she wouldn't know what hit her. I was sick and tired of her running away or having easy outs from this thing we'd made.

What exactly had we made? The sex had been extraordinary, certainly; I'd never had better. And sure, I'd gone down on a girl before, but I'd never tasted something as sweet as Bella. I could have gone on for hours. Perhaps it was her waxed mound, or maybe the way it smelled of roses and freesia? Either way, I craved it. Maybe one of the nights on the tour bus, I would be able to worship her pussy properly.

_Yeah, as long as I can convince her to give us a shot..._

With that thought in my head, and an enormous erection from thinking of our night, I stripped and climbed into the shower, making sure the water was _extra_ chilly. I would need all the focus I had available to deal with Bella.

We were playing the _Hammerstein _that night. I'd been there for a concert once, when I had visited New York with Carlisle in my early twenties. We'd seen the _Foo Fighters_ perform, and it had been one of the greatest nights of my life. That was when I had decided that I really wanted to pursue this whole music thing. I hoped that this night would have the same impact on me as the first one.

I exited the shower to a loud banging on the door. Only one person existed with that specific thudding knock: Emmett. Leaving the towel wrapped around my hips, I didn't even bother to dress before I opened the door and allowed the big oaf into my room.

"Eddie-boy!" Emmett called as he entered the room, but he stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he walked to the bed. "Holy shit, Ed!" he exclaimed. _What the fuck is his problem?_ "This room absolutely reeks of sex. _Someone_ got lucky last night!"

_Shit! Did it really smell like sex in here?_

Wide-eyed, I inhaled deeply, hoping that Emmett was just full of shit. But sure enough, the room was bathed in Bella**…**her scent and that of her pussy. _Fuck..._ My eyelids fluttered closed as I took a deeper breath.

"Damn, man," Emmett mumbled as he watched my reaction. "You look like you're getting high. Are you all right?"

I shrugged in response. What was I supposed to say,that I loved the smell of Bella's pussy? Something had happened in the midst of fucking her the night before which had altered things inside of me. I suddenly cared about her in more than just a sexual nature. Yes, her body was the holy land and I was a lowly pilgrim kissing at its gates, but being allowed to sleep beside her—hold her—only to wake up without her, left a massive ache inside of my chest.

Already, I thirsted for her again; I needed the fix that only she could provide. The other girls I'd been with in the past few years had provided temporary release, but had mainly left me feeling more than a little empty. This hadn't been the case at all with Bella. Not only had she given me more pleasure than I'd imagined, but she'd bent where I'd pushed and surged forward where I'd pulled back. Perfection.

Emotions built up inside of me, choking me with their intensity. I hadn't felt something like that since...since my parents had been around. Of course, no one had given me as hard of a time as Bella. Everyone else walked on eggshells when it came to my feelings—my attitude—but she didn't. She constantly challenged me; maybe that was what I'd needed all this time?

"You okay there, dude?" Emmett questioned, snapping his fingers in front of my eyes. I guessed I had zoned out there for a few moments.

Shoving his hand away from my face, I turned toward the mirrored closet and pulled my suitcase out. I was grateful for the roadies who had brought my bag up to the room, especially since I was otherwise occupied with Bella and dinner at that time. After slipping into some boxers, I grabbed a fresh pair of black jeans and my gray and red Converse. My gray _Pink Floyd_ T-shirt was in the bag as well, so I shrugged into it along with a red plaid button-up.

Emmett's wolf-whistle drew my attention to him. He was wiggling his eyebrows and reached for my ass. I easily swatted his hand away and glared at him. "Knock it off, jackass," I mumbled with a huff.

"Dude!" he exclaimed with a mighty laugh. "I think you might need to get laid again already. You're such a grump! Maybe the slut left you with a bad case of blue balls or—"

I didn't even realize I had punched him until he was lying across the bed and rubbing at his jaw. "Don't you ever call Bella a slut, you motherfucker!" I bellowed at him in anger, clenching my fist threateningly.

Em held up his hands in surrender, a smile playing at his lips despite the left-hook to the jaw he'd just received. "So she gave it up to the Ed-man?" he asked with a laugh. I furrowed my brows in confusion. "I figured you had to settle for some other pussy, since Bella hasn't exactly been your biggest fan."

Realization dawned on me; Emmett was completely right. "Man, Em," I told him. "I'm sorry, dude. I shouldn't have reacted that way. You're totally right, you wouldn't have known that she was here last night."

"I've never seen you act this way about a chick, man," he said with concern, getting up from where I had knocked him down on the bed and placing his hand on my shoulder. "And, when I figured out that you had a thing for her, I just thought it was for that smokin' bod. I didn't realize it was more than that, bud."

Shrugging his hand off of me, I walked to the bathroom. I really didn't need the emotional shit from him; I had enough to think about when dealing with Bella. The alarm went off on my cell phone, alerting me that it was time to take my medication. This wasn't something I really wanted to share with Emmett, so I ushered him out of the room as quickly as possible, promising to come right downstairs. We still needed to have breakfast before we headed to the _Hammerstein_ for sound check.

cS-Cs

I didn't see Bella until we were onstage. She had snuck in during the middle of our second song, hiding in the shadows offstage and trying her best to avoid letting me see her. Luck wasn't on her side, however. I'd noticed her anyway; there was a shift in the atmosphere when she was near, like an electric current in the air, making the hairs on my arms stand up.

When her eyes met mine between songs, I narrowed them at her to let her know that I was not in the mood for her shit and that we would be talking as soon as I was off the stage. Of course, with her wide eyes and thick swallow, she looked ready to bolt.

As soon as the set ended, I marched toward her, taking her by the arm, and not so gently directed her to the band's dressing room. The knowing smirk I received from one of the security guards set my blood boiling even more. _I'm not here to get fucking laid, dude. I just need to talk some sense into this woman before she gives me a heart attack!_

Bella stormed into the room ahead of me, flopping down on a canvas director's chair that had been placed in front of the vanity. "What do you want, Edward?" she asked in frustration. "I have to get to work on the blog for tonight."

I gaped openly at her. "What the _fuck_?" I exclaimed, confusion seeping through my body. "Are you really going to pretend that you don't have any idea _what I want_?"

She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "Give me a break, Edward," Bella told me, rolling her eyes toward the stucco ceiling.

"Give you a break?" I yelled. "_You_ walked out on me this morning, and then you snuck in to the concert! What did you think would happen? We're going to be together on that tour bus for hours at a time. Did you really think that last night would just magically disappear? You're a smart girl, Isabella, but you sure as hell didn't think this through, did you?

"Do you regret it?" I asked her as she pushed herself out of the chair to stand before me, anger, frustration, and conflict marring her beautiful face. I leaned closer to her and said, "Did you really hate it that much when I stuck my tongue deep inside your tight pussy, or when your legs were wrapped around me and took all you had to—"

Her slap resounded throughout the room. I lifted a hand to my burning cheek in surprise. "Don't you dare, Edward Cullen!" she shrieked back at me, her body practically pressed against mine and her eyes narrowed. "I do _not_ regret last night, for your information, you prick! I just don't think that we should pretend that this is something it isn't. We got it out of our systems, so let's move on." She stepped around me and reached for the door handle, her back to me. "I don't want this to ruin either of our careers."

"If you don't regret it, then why the fuck did you run, Bella?" I demanded, grabbing her arm and spinning her back around to face me. I couldn't contain my fury. At that moment, she was every fucking thing in the world to me, and I couldn't stand to think that she didn't really want me. I didn't care if I was pussy-whipped or not, I would make her see what we could be.

Bella tried to pull her arm out of my grasp, but I held fast. "Let go of me, you dick!" she screamed at me. Our attitudes were dueling for the top spot, and I knew that only one of us would be victorious. I just had to make sure that it would be me.

I pulled her body tightly to myself, crushing her to my chest. "Stop fucking fighting it, Swan," I told her as I pushed some of the loose hairs out of her face. Loosening my grip on her arm, I lifted my left hand behind her neck and angled her face up toward mine. When her eyes finally met mine, they were filled with both desire and uncertainty. "This isn't going to ruin shit. This is going to change our lives."

With that, I crushed my lips to hers and, though we both stumbled back, I kept us attached the entire time, using my right arm to break our tumble against the door. Bella seemed oblivious to the entire thing; instead she was grasping at my shoulders, pulling me closer to her body. Gone was the anger and frustration. In its place was the deep need that we both shared—need for each other.

Holy shit, the woman was a goddess. Her entire body writhed and moved against mine. I thought that my dick couldn't get any harder than it was the first time we'd fucked, but damn it all, I was going to come in my pants if I didn't get inside of her. Bella seemed to have the same thoughts as she ran her hand down my back to my ass and pressed me forward until there was no space whatsoever between us. The friction was so good, but not enough.

I bent down and nudged her knees apart with mine. Thank fuck the woman was wearing a dress again. It was a very short, sweater-dress thing; the maroon made her hair and eyes all the more bright. Goddammit, she was also wearing thigh-high black boots. I swear she was trying to kill me. As I nudged her knees apart and slipped her dress up to her hips, Bella was already in the process of wriggling out of her black lace panties. _Shit, I'm not going to last long. _

I scrambled to unbuckle my belt and unbutton my jeans. Quickly, I pulled out a condom, tore the package open, and rolled it on, even as she was already trying to climb up my body. Dropping my jeans and boxers to my knees, I reached for her ass, hoisting her up.

_Oh, God._ It was fucking nirvana when I slipped inside of her. I watched her face as I thrust deep inside her tight pussy. If she was feeling half of the rapture I was, then I knew that neither of us would last very long.

"Fuck! Edward!" Bella yelled out. With a growl, I thrust even deeper.

Her arms were around my neck, yanking at the sensitive hairs back there. But damn it all if that didn't feel fucking amazing. Suddenly, she pulled sharply and my head snapped back from the force.

"Couch!" Bella cried out. Hot damn. She knew what the hell she wanted, and I was going to make sure I was the one giving it to her.

Moving as quickly as the jeans around my knees would allow, and while still inside of her, I made it to the mustard-yellow polyester couch and sat us both down. Her knees were on either side of my hips and she quickly took control of the movements. She ground down on my cock and moved her hips like an exotic dancer giving a lap dance. Each gyration of her body squeezed my dick with the walls of her hot, wet pussy.

I couldn't help the moans coming out of my mouth; I refused to silence them.

"Everyone in the hallway will hear us," Bella whispered against my mouth with a wicked smile.

I offered my crooked grin back to her. "Let them," I breathed with a husky laugh. "Then they'll all know that you're mine."

Suddenly, her movements stilled. I forced my lazy eyelids open to watch her face. Bella studied me closely, looking for something in my eyes, my body language.

"Is that what I am, Eddie?" she asked finally, still sitting with my cock buried deep inside of her. "Am I..._yours_?" _Why in hell's name did she insist on calling me that? _I usually hated when people referred to me by that name, but when she said it, I only wanted to fuck her harder. Turnabout is fair play, I suppose; that was what I deserved for all those times I had called her Isabella.

I brought my hands to her hips and squeezed them roughly, forcing her to move against me. "Why wouldn't you be mine?" I demanded, watching her reaction very closely.

Shrugging, she told me, "Because I'm here for work." Goddammit, I hated when she said things like that; as though I didn't already realize the lines I was stepping over. "We can't keep doing this, Edward. This is a one...well, two...time thing."

Fury, lust, and need for this woman to be more than just somebody I fucked a couple of times fueled my body. Growling, I lifted us both off the couch and laid her back down underneath me. She looked so innocent and startled. Beautiful.

"No one else can do this to you. No one else knows your beautiful, ridiculous, fantastic mind and body like me," I said as I slipped back inside of her with great force, driving home the knowledge that we belonged together. "You. Are. Mine!" I grunted between thrusts.

She was moaning my name beneath me, writhing and tossing her head from side to side in ecstasy.

"Say it, Bella!" I exclaimed with a groan. "Say it. You are mine. You're not just some pussy I'm fucking. You're going to give it to me. I want all of you." My thrusts were growing more frantic, more driven.

Finally, she surrendered. "Yes, yes! Yours... Edward!" she moaned and cried out my name.

My hips slammed into hers over and over again, harder and harder, until I couldn't hold back any longer. I slipped my hand down to where our bodies were joined and rubbed furiously at her clit, hoping to pull the orgasm out of her in time to meet mine.

Suddenly, Bella's teal fingernails dug into me, scratching down my back. They had surely left welts in their wake.

"Agh!" I groaned against the sharp pain, forcing myself even more fully into her and pressing harder on her clit. When she came, my cock was constricted and milked inside of her glorious body and her screams filled my ears. I followed right after, unable to fight the pure ecstacy any longer.

When I was spent, I fell beside her on the couch, curling my body around hers. It took several minutes to catch my breath and steady my heartbeat. Beside me, Bella was silent, catching her own breath and nibbling on her thumbnail.

"What are you thinking about, beautiful?" I asked her, placing a gentle kiss on her shoulder.

She didn't answer me right away; she was too busy getting lost in her mind. I slipped my hand around her middle, pulling her even more tightly against me and attempting to get her attention back. Though she didn't look at me, she finally questioned, "So...what exactly does this mean now?" Bella's voice was husky and deep from screaming moments before.

"What do you mean, babe?" I asked, kissing her shoulder. When I felt her stiffen in my arms though, I stopped and pulled back. "You didn't like that?"

Swallowing thickly, Bella finally turned toward me. When her beautiful eyes met mine, I couldn't help but let my gaze drift to her mouth. I already wanted her again so badly.

"I'm not a big fan of the mushy endearments," she admitted with a sigh.

Apparently, Bella didn't appreciate my laugh at this. She tried pulling away from me, but I held her fast. "I'm sorry!" I told her as I tried to control my laugh. "I'm sorry, Bella. I won't call you babe again. You don't mind 'beautiful' or 'love,' do you?"

Shaking her head, Bella bit her bottom lip again. I swear she would draw blood at some point; I could see her lip turning white around her teeth.

"Sorry," she told me, sitting up suddenly. "I'll tell you about it one day... Anyway, we'd better get back out there. _Axing Questions_ will be done with their performance soon, and we still have the after-party tonight."

"Wait," I said, holding out my hand to stop her. "Will you stay with me again tonight?"

Nibbling her lip, Bella glanced over her shoulder at me. "I... I guess so." I grabbed her up in a bear hug, my emotions causing me to act like a pansy. I couldn't help how much I wanted her. Even the simplest gesture of staying with me brought out a rush of feelings. She held up her hand to still me though. "I don't want this getting in the way of my career, Edward." I tried to interrupt and tell her that I would never want that to happen, but she continued. "I expect you to sit down for interviews—and _not _in my bed. I need this career...but I think I need you, too. Just don't make me choose, okay?"

Her words stung, but I understood. She stood up and walked toward the door, where her panties lay on the floor. I followed her, watching as she slipped her panties back on and straightened her dress. I was really looking forward to getting her on the bus for hours at a time, where she had nowhere to run.

**A/N:**

**Well, there you go... Another lemon... Now that I've started them I don't think I'll be able to stop! ((I know, I know... It's not that I'm complaining!)) ;-P**

**See you next week!**


	15. White Sky

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Our Caged Skylark playlist (so far):**

**-Opener (You Me and Apollo)**

**-Somebody Told Me (The Killers)**

**-A Pearl (You Me and Apollo)**

**-Bulletproof (The Goo Goo Dolls)**

**-Black Bird (The Beatles)**

**-15 Step (Radiohead)**

**-Amigone (The Goo Goo Dolls)**

**-Closing Time (Semisonic)**

**-Raise Your Glass (P!nk)**

**-Smile Like You Mean It (The Killers)**

**-Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Pat Benetar)**

**-Chasing Pavements (Adele)**

**-Give Me Everything (Pitbull, Ne-Yo, etc...)**

**-All My Life (Foo Fighters)**

**-White Sky (Vampire Weekend)**

**Thank you for all of the reviews! They're so appreciated! **

**The song for this chapter is "White Sky" by Vampire Weekend. Enjoy!**

"White Sky"

BPOV

_Somewhere outside Richmond, VA_

The days on the bus were long and hot. Apparently, humidity on the east coast was still an issue even in October. The first tour stop in the south had been filled with warm welcome from the crowd. Word was traveling fast about _Midnight Sun. _Last night's venue had been the final concert before the week hiatus for the bands commenced. We had stopped just outside of Richmond, Virginia to sleep, parked along a forested area usually reserved for camping.

I would be flying home to Seattle the next day to enjoy a four**-**day breather. While a part of me wanted to ask Edward to come with me, I refrained. Our...whatever this was...was still new, young, and fragile. Beyond the hot sex we'd soaked ourselves in, we didn't have much of a foundation. And, I didn't even know if Edward wanted a real relationship anyway. Sure, he'd told me that I was _his_, demanding I agree to those terms, but that was during sex, and there had never been any real discussion of what _this_ actually was.

Truly, I knew I shouldn't have given in; I should have never slept with him. Though my heart and vagina often tried to convince my mind that this was _not_ a doomed endeavor, my head knew better. Emotionally damaged men like Edward were destined to hurt me. It had happened with James, and it would happen with Edward. It was all just a waiting game. But maybe, if I didn't let myself get in too deep, I would resurface a little easier than the last time. Though, with James, I hadn't felt an ounce of what I already felt for Edward; this was all-consuming, all-encompassing. On the other hand, James hadn't been able to do half of the things to my body that Edward could.

I rolled away from Edward's hard body and onto my back. We'd been sleeping together for three weeks—three weeks and thirty-one orgasms to be exact. But who was counting? My body was toning muscles I never even realized I possessed, and my physique was firming even further. When I had mentioned my findings to Edward a few days before, he'd only shrugged and informed me that sex was the best workout.

As he lay sleeping gently beside me, I let my mind wander over the events of the past three weeks.

At the party following the first concert in New York, Edward had remained beside me, warding off any other male attention with threatening glares and growls. It had me all hot-and-bothered for the duration of the event. But when one of the fangirls sidled up to Edward, offering him one of the two beers she held in her hand, I saw only red. I'd never been taken over by such seething jealousy before, but at that moment, I was ready to pull that fake blonde hair out by its roots.

Edward had noticed the fire in my eyes immediately. Rather impolitely, he'd brushed the groupie aside and ushered me out the door. We didn't even make it to the corner to hail a taxi before I attacked his mouth with my own. Only hours before, he'd demanded that I was his, and now I wanted the same. Even if this wasn't a _relationship_, I expected exclusivity.

By the time we managed to pull ourselves apart long enough to flag down a passing cab, we knew there was only one place to go. We had stumbled into his hotel room again, a mess of tangled clothes, swollen lips, and heavy breathing. When he had fucked me that night, just inside the door and giving me rug burns on my hands and knees, I decided that I didn't want to deny this thing between us. Ever. However long it would last—weeks, months, years — I was ready for it.

The night we left New York, I went straight into my little room on the tour bus to get some sleep, since I hadn't slept much over the past couple of nights. As soon as I shut the door behind me, however, it swung back open. A stormy, sexy looking Edward stood leaning against the doorframe with a dangerous scowl on his face.

"I think it's safe to say that you and I are sharing this room, wouldn't you agree?" he asked, stalking forward and kicking the door closed behind him.

Swallowing hard, I reminded him, "But Emmett and Jasper are out there. I'm sure they'll hear us, Edward."

With a shrug, Edward brought his mouth to mine. Something about his kiss wiped away any thoughts of sensibility that I possessed. "Let them hear. You said you're mine. Don't forget that."

Emmett and Jasper took our new existence as a couple surprisingly well, even after hearing the way that Edward had made me scream his name as the bus drove us out of New York City. Besides a knowing smirk from Jas the next morning, and a few cracks about our very _zealous _sex life from Em, they'd mostly left us to our own doings. They had managed to give us all the privacy that could be afforded on a tour bus.

Jake, however, did not take it so well. After the concert stop in Trenton, Edward was carrying me off to the bus for some alone time. I was in his arms and my legs were wrapped around him when we ran into Jacob. Edward had pushed me up against a hallway wall and attacked my mouth with his own, reaching his hand under my dress and groping my ass. We'd been alerted to Jake's presence when a loud crash echoed through the corridor. My eyes snapped toward the sound just in time to see Jake pick up the pieces of a broken mic and dash toward the exit.

My heart felt heavy for Jacob, though I wasn't quite sure how to handle it. He'd made an early and obsessive—although unrequited—claim over me. The only thing I could think to do was attempt to continue our professional relationship and pursue something of a friendship with him. I might not be able to make it happen, but I would certainly try.

Jake remained in the sound truck with Jared throughout the drives between cities. Though a warm bed was offered to him, Jake even slept in the truck, refusing to join the rest of us on the bus. He even denied taking meals with us, and only ever entered the bus when we had interviews to do.

The bus lurched to life, distracting me from my musing. We were heading toward Lexington, Kentucky, where Jake and I would catch a flight home early the next day. Beside me, Edward moaned, awakened by the sudden movement underneath us. I stretched and turned to look at him. He was so handsome as he came out of his sleepy state. Edward had told me that he'd often had trouble sleeping since the death of his parents, but in the past three weeks of sleeping beside him nightly, he seemed to really get some decent shut-eye...when we weren't waking each other up for sex that is.

He opened his sleepy eyes to smile at me. "I'm ready for my cooking lesson this morning, teach," Edward told me as he pulled my naked body against his and leaned in to give me a peck on the lips. I'd been giving the guys cooking lessons every day that we were on the bus, and they had learned quite a bit. Em was a pro at making an omelet, and Jas was equally accomplished in the art of spaghetti. Edward, however, had only managed to not burn the food from one of our lessons: grilled cheese sandwiches. I smiled to myself at the thought of our next culinary adventure.

"I knew you were trying to get into bed overly quick last night, _just_ because of the promise of homemade biscuits and gravy," I teased him, sitting up on my elbow and looking down at him.

Trailing a finger over a blue vein in my neck, down my left breast, and over my hardening nipple, Edward smiled up at me. "I think you know why I wanted to get you into bed, _Isabella_," he reminded me. Edward only used my full name now when he was scolding me in a heated, naughty way...or, well, whenever he wanted to get into my pants. "I don't know how you do that sucking thing with your throat, but good God, woman!"

Blushing furiously, I looked down at the purple blankets that covered half of our bodies. I picked at invisible lint, trying to avoid getting into a conversation on a topic that would only lead to more sex. Three times in one night was a little much, despite all of the screwing we'd been doing over the past three weeks. Not that I was complaining!

When he'd first come in my mouth the night before and I'd swallowed it down my throat, I hadn't expected him to be so eager to return the orgasmic favor. He'd thrown me on the bed and had gone straight to work on me. I had managed to come all over the three fingers he'd been pumping in and out of me, before he flipped me onto my stomach and straddled my thighs, slipping his already hardened length into the tight, squished space in between. I'd never had sex in such a position before, and it was _amazing_. The tight squeeze from my legs still being closed caused me to feel him in such an explosive way.

The second and third times had been much the same—not in the position, but in the way he made things new and exciting to me. He'd been spooning against me as we slept, and I had been awoken when he'd slipped himself inside of me. Edward had moved from taking me on his side, to shifting over me and straddling my right thigh. He'd lifted my left leg up onto his shoulder and pounded into me. Not only did that position give him deeper access to my body, but it also caused his balls to slide along my inner leg and his own thigh to rub against my clit. When I came that time, he had followed in short succession.

Finally, I'd woken up again to the sound of rain on our windows. It was still dark outside when I turned to find Edward lying on his back. Quickly, I climbed atop him—facing his feet—and played with his soft dick until it became hard and firm in my hands. He was moaning and writhing his hips in his sleep when I rolled a condom over his cock, aligned him with my wet lower lips, and slid over him. Edward awoke with a start, gripping my hips to still my movements and sat up.

"Bella," he'd mumbled in my ear. His hot breath tickled my skin. "I thought I was dreaming..."

Shaking my head, I continued my movements over him, slipping up his cock and then taking him all the way inside once again. Edward had come right before me, but the pulses had triggered my own release. Satiated, we'd collapsed in a tangle of limbs and bliss.

Escaping my thoughts once again, I smiled against the coiled muscles of his shoulder as Edward pulled me in for tight embrace. He reached a hand down and swatted my bare ass before squeezing and kneading the tender flesh when I yelped. Rolling away from him, I jumped off the bed—well, as much as could be managed in the compacted space—and pulled on a pair of shorts and one of Edward's _Midnight Sun _T-shirts.

I stopped at the door when I realized that Edward hadn't moved but was just staring at me with an amused expression.

"What?" I asked. "Is my hair a mess or something?"

He blinked out of his musing and offered me a sweet smile. "I just like seeing you like this: in my clothes, coming out of my bed, messy hair because of _my_ fingers. It just does something to me. I can't really explain it." Edward's voice was husky and filled with sudden emotion. I knew that tone, but I wasn't really ready to go exploring _those_ types of feelings with Edward. Not yet.

So, I distracted him. "Come on," I said, pointing my thumb toward the door. "I'll let you fry the bacon." His eyebrows shot up in surprise, probably because I had banned him from frying things after he had almost set the kitchenette on fire the last time. Edward scrambled off the bed and quickly stepped into some boxers.

Before he could make it to the door, I held up a hand against his bare chest to stop him. "As much as I like seeing you shirtless, I don't know if frying bacon without one is such a good idea." My voice was light and teasing, and I threw a wink in at the end of the sentence for good measure. Edward's hand covered mine on his chest and he drew me against himself for a searing kiss.

"Yes, ma'am," he said with a wicked grin.

I was happy that I'd sufficiently distracted him from any talk of feelings. Maybe someday we could broach the subject, but for now, I was happy to have a bit of insight into his mind and a lot of pleasure from his body.

cS-Cs

"Would you consider yourself a poet, Edward?" I asked, pen poised above my notebook to record his response. By my standards, he was most certainly a poet. He was an extremely eloquent and gifted writer.

Edward offered a snort and shrug in response. "I don't know about that, but whatever you want to call me is fine, beautiful." I'd have to leave that last line out of the typed interview.

Laughing, I rolled my eyes sarcastically and moved on. "So, Edward, which bands were your biggest influences, and why?" Even though it was our second interview, I wanted to ask this question again. Some people, when given a taste of an initial interview, tended to be more comfortable after they're familiar with the process.

He didn't hesitate or mull over my question like he had the previous. Edward's response was quick. "_The Cure, Nirvana, Sublime_,_ Foo Fighters_—of course—_The Killers_, _Radiohead_,_ Weezer_, _The Pixies_, _My Morning Jacket_... They're all unique in what they do; though _Weezer_ was really influenced by _The Pixies_. But, I guess I find that they knew how to master the style a little better. All of those bands are fantastic."

Smiling, I quickly jotted down his response. He was totally speaking my language. Each day, I learned of something new that we had in common. Beyond his own obvious talents, Edward had amazing taste in music. "Your Extended Player album, aka EP," I added for the recording, "came out several months ago and your new Long Player, aka LP, will be released in March." In fact, we would all be flying out to Los Angeles for the album release. "Have sales and preorders improved since the start of this tour with _Axing Questions_?"

Edward nodded with a grin. "Definitely. Our fan base is growing by leaps-and-bounds. I actually received a call from our manager just a few hours ago, letting us know that our single from the new LP album has hit the _Hot 100_ on _Billboard_." I stared at him in shock. He hadn't told me about this news. "We're sitting at 74, which doesn't sound like much, but for an indie band, it's kind of awesome."

Quickly turning off my recorder, I scooted out of my seat and landed in his lap, throwing my arms around him. I grabbed his face between my hands and kissed him firmly on the lips. "Eddie!" I cried against his mouth. "That's _huge_! I can't believe that you didn't tell me!"

With a shrug and an even bigger grin, Edward told me, "Because I knew that this is the reaction I'd get out of you if I waited to surprise you, silly girl." Throwing my head back with a jovial laugh, I hugged him tightly to me.

Making the _Billboard_ _Hot 100_ even before your first full-length album release was a huge accomplishment. Sure, the pop world tended to occupy the _Billboard_ charts in most cases, but if you looked closely, you'd find some really great indie bands there. Apparently, this tour was already a success, and I was so excited for them.

A throat cleared beside us and we both glanced up from our little sexually fused bubble. Jake sat with his arms folded over his chest, shooting a glare at us that could scare the fur off a cat. Offering him an apologetic look, I attempted to climb off of Edward's lap, but he kept me there with both hands firmly placed on my hips.

"I'd much rather finish the interview with you in my lap," Edward suggested, wriggling his eyebrows at me. Then he glanced at Jake for a moment before continuing. "Or, Bella, we could kill two birds with one stone and just do the interview from _our_ bed. Maybe I can just stay inside of you the whole time."

Jake jumped up from his chair, threw down his pen and marched to the bathroom. The bus jumped and bounced in his wake. He slammed the door with a hard _thud_.

"Edward!" I scolded, pushing off his lap and standing before him with my hands on my hips. "I told you that you can't act like that around Jacob." He obviously hadn't paid very close attention to the lecture I had given him when this...thing...between us had first begun. Even though I had sat him down and explained that since Jake would be around, his attitude desperately needed to improve. Also, I had explained that while I had no intention of choosing between my career and our new...whatever this was, I was there for work first and foremost and needed to remain professional while doing my job. Well, besides the whole jumping into his lap and kissing him during an interview; that could probably be considered a breach of professional conduct. I didn't suspect that I'd ever lose my job at the _Herald_, but I could certainly be reassigned if there was a conflict of interest.

Rolling his eyes toward the ceiling, Edward let out a huff. "You don't understand what this challenge is between us, Bella. He and I have been in a pissing contest since that meeting at your office. It isn't just going to stop. Even though he sees that you're obviously mine, he doesn't really give a fuck."

I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes tightly. It wasn't that I didn't like being _his_—I really did—but James' possessiveness had almost ruined me once upon a time, and I wasn't exactly thrilled to think about Edward taking a step in the same direction. Actually, now that Edward and I were together, I knew that I needed to tell him about what my relationship with James had been like, and what it had done to me, but the moment never seemed right.

Pushing the thought aside, I plopped back down on the leather chair across from Edward to finish the interview. After turning my recorder back on, I grabbed my notes from where I had tossed them onto the table in my excitement, and looked at the next question. "All right, Edward. Tell me about your writing process."

Glancing quickly toward the door that Jake had disappeared behind, Edward leaned on his forearms toward me. We were back to serious mode. "A lot of the process has to do with focusing pain into energy—at least it's been that way in the past. I guess that's not really true about the last song I wrote though..." His voice trailed off.

Intrigued, I asked, "Well, tell me about that one then. What is the title of the new song?"

Edward's eyes snapped to mine. His cheeks flushed, but he held my gaze. "Okay, well, with that one, I was having feelings for this girl. She thought I was a big douche-bag. I guess she was right, but that didn't stop me from thinking about her all the time." My own blush burned my face and I looked down. Of course, I knew the song he was talking about. "She was the first person to figure out a way to get under my skin, you see? So, I went to an old bookstore, bought an armful of classic novels, and sat down and literally wrote her a song in them. I call it '_La Belle_.'"

My eyes rose back to his. I had never heard the name of the song before. It was _my song_. "Eddie..." I whispered.

"It's our newest single," he informed me, watching my face closely to gage my reaction. "We recorded it right before we left for Boston. That is the song that broke us into _Billboard's_ _Hot 100_." Lifting a hand to my mouth, I stared at him in joyful disbelief. "I started writing a new one last week," Edward added. "_Little Muse_ is about the same girl. I think you'll like it if you give it a listen."

Slipping out of our seats, we reached for each other at the same moment. Our lips brushed in the sweetest of kisses. It was demanding of course—hungry and filled with yearning like all of our kisses had been—but it was one of the most intimate moments we had ever shared. When I pulled back and righted myself in my seat as I heard Jake exit the bathroom, tears glistened in my eyes. Edward never looked away from me once throughout the rest of the interview.

I managed to ask the final question just in time as we pulled into the parking lot of a restaurant for dinner. Jake and I had a 7 A.M. flight to catch the next day, but the band wanted to have a celebratory dinner in honor of the first few weeks of successful touring—and their _Billboard_ debut, of course!

We enjoyed a night of southern barbecue, beer, and laughter. The whole crew joined in, though Jake sat beside Jared and as far away as possible from us, brooding and shooting angry glares in Edward's direction.

"Here's to _Billboard_!" Emmett cheered, and we all clinked our mugs together. "Booze!" We clinked again. "And to beautiful women!" Everyone focused their eyes on me as they clinked glasses yet again, but I buried my face in Edward's shoulder.

"The most beautiful of women," Edward whispered in my ear. Lifting my head, I smiled brightly and captured his lips for a searing kiss. I was right; he was definitely a poet.

cS-Cs

Early the following morning, I leaned over and kissed Edward lightly on the lips, wishing him a whispered goodbye. He stirred in his sleep but didn't wake. Hopefully, he wouldn't be mad that I didn't wake him to say farewell. We'd had a late night after dinner with the goodbye sex, and I didn't want to rouse him too early.

Jake and I took a taxi to the airport in Lexington. Though I knew I'd see Edward in a few days, I was aching with the thought of separation. But it was time to go home and sort out these feelings before I let them run away with me—and my heart.

**A/N: For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you know that "Caged Skylark" will be coming to an end soon (about 7 more chapters). **

**The good news is that there WILL BE A SEQUEL! I'll begin posting "Chasing Sparrows" about 3 weeks or so after "Caged Skylark" ends. **

**I'm so excited to go through this journey with you all! Thanks for the support, love, and reviews!**

If you're bored while you wait for a CS update ( ;-P ) go read anything by lellabeth, 2amlovesick, or kekahj

... SERIOUSLY. Great writers!


	16. Everlong

_**Caged Skylark has been nominated on The Lemonade Stand! Please go over there and vote for it! tehlemonadestand. net**_

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognized characters are property of their respective owners. This story and all original characters are property of the author. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**I'd like to thank my wonderful betas, hammondgirl and starpower31, and my pre reader, 2loveybunnies. I love them all to pieces!**

**Enjoy!**

"Everlong"

(Foo Fighters)

EPOV

_Early November 2012_

Well, the woman certainly had a way of sneaking out of rooms while I slept—I'd give her that much. When I'd woken up to an empty bed yet again, I couldn't do anything but let out an annoyed huff and laugh to myself. Bella was just too much.

Knowing not to expect a call or text that she'd arrived in Seattle for a couple of more hours, I rolled out of the tour bus bed and pulled on a clean pair of boxers before heading to the shower. Her shampoo, conditioner, shave cream, razor, and face wash littered the small stall. Popping the top of her body wash open, I poured some onto my hand and inhaled deeply. _Fuck._ I was such a pussy, but goddammit, I was going to miss my sexy girl.

I lathered the creamy soap all over my body, breathing in the heady scent that was roses or freesia—something—but all Bella. The smell alone was making me hard and I fisted my suddenly aching erection in my palm, rubbing her body wash up and down my length. _Shit. _How was I supposed to make it an entire four days without seeing her? Fucking her beautiful body had become a nightly ritual for me, and I wasn't sure how I'd survive without my newest tradition.

Memories of our nights together flashed behind my eyelids as I stroked myself. Bella's mouth sucking me deep into her throat as she swallowed my load, the hooded look of lust in her eyes as I plunged my tongue deep inside of her delicious pussy. But I especially loved the way she came apart underneath me whenever I would make love to her.

Suddenly, I stopped all of my movements with a sudden jolt, my hand frozen on my dick in utter shock. _Make love?_ Never, not once in all my years, had I referred to fucking a girl as _making love_. Screwing, fucking, boning, or pounding, sure... But _making love_ was reserved for something I never thought I'd want—a real-life adult relationship. Love.

_Was I falling in love with Bella?_ Fuck me, but I didn't even have to answer that internal dialogue. I knew the truth. Already, I loved her silly quirks—like the way she pinched her cheek as she proofread her articles, or the way she nibbled on the tip of her thumb when she was deep in concentration. I knew that I loved the way she hummed my songs as she danced in the kitchenette while cooking or washing the dishes. _I lov—_

"Goddammit!" I cursed into the empty room. Quickly, I washed the remnants of her soap off of myself, my dick long since abandoned.

I stepped out of the shower and dried off, forgoing shaving or combing my too-long hair. Rushing back to the bedroom with a towel wrapped around my waist, I fumbled around the bed in search of my cell phone. I quickly pulled up the contact information I sought and dialed.

Three rings later, I heard, "Well, well, well, if it isn't Mr. Cullen. How is operation 'Get Into Bella's Pants' going for you, stud-muffin?"

Rolling my eyes toward the ceiling, I cut to the chase. "I need your help again, Ben."

I could almost hear his smile over the phone. "I expected this call a couple of weeks ago. But after a text from Bella last week, I was pleasantly surprised with the results of your little mission."

"What did she say to you?" I wondered aloud. Knowing how close Bella and Ben were, it shouldn't have surprised me that they talked a lot; but now I was really eager to hear what their conversations had been about.

"Oh, just something," he said nonchalantly, letting it hang on the telephone line between us for several moments. "I think it had to do with being fucked well and regularly, and something else about being deliriously happy."

My breath caught in my chest. "Deliriously happy?" I questioned cautiously. I'd never made anyone _deliriously_ happy in my life, and certainly no one had ever made me feel the same way back. But she certainly had. Again, I pondered over the idea of loving her. Was I capable of loving someone?

I contemplated the three weeks we'd been lovers. Beyond the hot sex—God, such fuck-hot sex—Bella and I had really gotten to know each other. She loved to cook paninis, and even though we didn't have a way to really grill them, she said that frying the bread would suffice. Bella had a habit of nervously chewing on the end of her pen as she sat at the table to write her blogs and articles; usually I found that kind of gross, but with her, I had only wanted to go kiss her furrowed brow and tell her not to worry because she is an amazing writer. I'd learned how much she hated the typical things that girls complain about, like when one of us would leave the toilet seat up. But I had also discovered her love of Downy fabric softener in the Clean Breeze scent. She always added a little extra to her laundry—and my own now that she'd taken it upon herself to wash my clothes—and she kept dryer sheets stuffed under our bed, in our pillow cases, and in our shoes.

"Yo? Earth to Eddie-boy?" Ben's voice brought me back to the present.

"W-what?" I asked.

"I asked if you're going to tell me what the hell you called me for at six in the morning?" Though his words were disgruntled, his voice was anything but.

Oh, shit, I'd forgotten about the hour. "Dude, I'm sorry. I didn't think about the time difference."

"Eh, whatever. It's all good," he reassured me. "Just tell me what's going on, honey."

"Okay, well, I need to ask you a favor..."

cS-Cs

"Bella," I breathed into the phone.

"Hey. We made it home." Her voice sounded tired and worn out. I really wished that she had still been here beside me on the tour bus. She belonged beside me.

Throwing two more pair of jeans into the bag and zipping it shut, I told her, "I'm really hoping you get some time to sleep, beautiful. I know I've contributed to your exhaustion levels. You said that Ben was picking you up, right?"

I could hear her gigantic yawn over the phone. "Yeah, he got me. He's driving me to my place now. He's going to stay over for a while and then we'll go to dinner. Ben's been telling me about this gorgeous tavern in the Pikes Place Market. They have live music, so I guess we'll go check out your competition," she teased. Any other band was apparently my competition.

Smiling to myself, I slung the bag over my shoulder and turned toward the door. "Well, you'll have to let me know how they do."

Her beautiful laughter floated over the span of states and cities between us, registering as the most wonderful of music in my ears. "Sure thing... Look," she spoke softly, "I really miss you."

I stilled with my hand hovering above the doorknob. Emotions rushed through my body, stealing my breath. When I finally spoke again, my voice was hoarse and cracked. "Yeah, Bella, I miss you, too."

"I'll see you in a few days," she said around another deep yawn. "Bye, Eddie."

Swallowing thickly, I closed my eyes and replied, "Bye—" The soft click of the phone hanging up cut me off. "—love," I finished anyway.

"Dude!" Emmett shouted when I had stepped out of the makeshift bedroom. "You smell like a chick. What the fuck, man?" I clenched my jaw and flipped him off, throwing my bag over my shoulder and heading for the door.

"Wait a second!" Jas ordered, stepping in my path. "If you're doing what I think you're doing, then I'm coming with you. There's no way in fuck that I'm sticking around here for the whole weekend if that's an option."

"Same here, dudes," Emmett chimed in.

I shrugged and relented. I wouldn't mind the company anyway. "Just don't make me late, guys."

cS-Cs

"Ladies and gentleman, welcome to Seattle, Washington. The current high is 64 degrees and the forecast is calling for about a half inch of rain tonight. If this is your destination, please enjoy your stay, and thank you for choosing to fly Frontier."

Emmett stood first, pushing his bulky frame into the aisle to make certain that we got a chance to get off of the plane first. He pulled our carry-on bags out of the overhead bin and handed them to us before we all rushed off the plane and through the terminal. The first flight we had been able to get was at 5 p.m., Eastern Standard Time, which put us at Sea-Tac at 7 p.m., Seattle time. I knew I would really have to push it if I hoped to make it to Ben's place and back to the bar in time to surprise Bella.

Thankfully, the car I had requested Ben order for us was waiting as we rushed through the baggage claim area. Tossing our bags in the back, we didn't even have to tell the man where to take us—he'd already been given the itinerary. When we pulled to a stop in front of the apartment building, I hurried inside to the concierge. Everything was ready for me, and I was very grateful for Ben's help.

I didn't open it when I got back into the car, though I knew I needed to make sure it was good to go. I'd just have to wait until we arrived at the bar. Jasper was whispering seductively to whom I assumed to be Alice, and Emmett was adjusting his dick in his Dickies shorts; obviously Rose was sending him some naughty text messages. I rolled my eyes.

"Are they meeting us there?" I asked both of them. Jas gave me thumbs up, never taking his ear away from the phone, and Em just grunted and licked his lips. I wasn't entirely sure if he and Rose would actually make it past the restroom of the bar, but either way, I was just stoked to be on my way to see my girl.

The retro bar was perfectly grunge. The waitstaff wore plaid, holey jeans, and the women all showed off their midriffs. I suddenly felt like I had stepped back into high school in the 1990s. I laughed to myself at the thought of Bella being in such a bar. I pictured that she would fit better in an art deco, vintage-style nightclub, or even a country bar with those sexy cowboy boots she liked to wear. Grunge was more my thing than hers, but I did know that she loved the music of _my_ decade, so I couldn't wait for her to see me. I didn't want to miss the surprised look on her face.

"Thanks for giving me a few minutes up there, man," I thanked Judah Feinstein, the musician standing beside me. Apparently a big fan of _Midnight Sun_, I learned that he'd been to a couple of our Seattle shows prior to the tour. Happily, he had relinquished five minutes of his set for me to play.

From the shadows at the edge of the small stage, I watched Bella, Ben, Rose, and Alice enter the bar and take a seat at the exact place I had requested that the manager reserve for them. Emotions and lust rushed through my body. Though I had seen her only yesterday, I yearned for her. She was beautiful with her hair down and in the white cotton dress she wore, which showed off the expanse of her creamy, white legs. And speak of the devil, there were those boots again.

Once the waitress came to their table and they were distracted as they ordered their first round of drinks, I stepped onto the stage and picked up the acoustic guitar that Ben had borrowed for me from Tom, his boyfriend. I had spent a few minutes tuning it by ear to the Drop-D chord so that I could get right to the playing while I knew Bella wouldn't be paying attention.

As the first strings I pulled registered through the air, people began to turn their attention to the stage. They recognized the song; of course they did—this was Seattle, after all. This city had a special place in their hearts for Dave Grohl, and I thanked his mastery of music for the long introduction before I had to sing. It allowed me a few moments to watch Bella laugh and smile with her friends. Fuck, she was so beautiful.

I took a deep breath before singing the opening line.

_"Hello, I've waited here for you... Everlong."_

Bella's eyes snapped up, finding me instantly. Her mouth dropped open in surprise. She knew me by my voice, even after singing only the opening line. Smiling, I stared into her eyes and sang on.

_"Tonight, I throw myself into,  
And out of the red, out of her head she sang."_

The smile that lit up Bella's face could rival the stars in all their glory. I sensed the eyes of everyone else in the room upon me, but I only saw her. On I played this special song, pouring my heart into the words and picking the strings on the guitar.

_"Come down and waste away with me, down with me...  
Slow how, you wanted it to be,  
I'm over my head, out of her head she sang."_

For the chorus, I grabbed the pick where I had placed it on my knee. It added something new to the sound, and I loved it for this part of the song.

_"And I wonder when I sing along with you,  
If everything could ever feel this real forever.  
If anything could ever be this good again,  
The only thing I'll ever ask of you.  
You gotta promise not to stop when I say when.  
She sang:"_

Bella swallowed thickly and began to sing along with me. I watched as her lips formed the words of the song around her grin. Her smile did things to my body that I had never expected. No other girl had affected me with something as simple as her scent or her smile. Unknowingly, Bella had reached through my pain and had touched my soul—a soul I hadn't realized I even possessed.

_"Breathe out, so I can breathe you in,  
Hold you in, and now, I know you've always been there  
Out of your head, out of my head I sang._

And I wonder when I sing along with you,  
If everything could ever feel this real forever,  
If anything could ever be this good again.  
The only thing I'll ever ask of you,  
You gotta promise not to stop when I say when.  
She sang:

And I wonder...  
If everything could ever feel this real forever,  
If anything could ever be this good again.  
The only thing I'll ever ask of you,  
You gotta promise not to stop when I say when."

I repeated the last verse of the song, whispering the last line as emotions clogged my throat with their intensity. Though I didn't typically cover other musicians' songs, Bella understood what the _Foo Fighters_ songs meant to me—and to the development of my own music—so this song felt appropriate to sing directly to her.

As the song ended and my fingers stilled against the guitar, the crowd of people suddenly reentered my sight as their cheers broke through our bubble. Standing, I lifted my hand to give a little wave of thanks to the crowded bar and propped my guitar on the stage before stepping down and heading directly toward my girl. She stood from her chair and met me halfway, leaping into my arms and planting kisses all over my face, jaw, and neck.

"What are you doing here?" Bella asked in amazement when she finally pulled away. The smile hadn't left her face since the moment she'd first realized that I had been the one singing.

"I wanted to surprise you, love." My own grin matched hers.

"It _is_ a surprise!" she exclaimed. "I had no idea that you were planning this."

I felt my face heat as I admitted, "I wasn't planning this at all, actually. I...uh... I decided this morning after you left. So, I called Ben here, and he helped me arrange everything." Ben gave us a little salute and raised his glass toward us. Bella blushed—surely at the fact that her friends had seen her reaction to me, and were in fact in on the whole scheme of meeting us here without her knowledge.

Emmett and Jasper walked to the table then, and both of their girls squealed and jumped from their chairs. Em lifted Rose into his arms and spun her around as Jasper dipped Alice backward for a solid kiss. When greetings were completed and plenty of kisses had been given, we pulled extra chairs around the table and sat down to watch Judah play.

"Wow, guys," he told the audience with a chuckle. "I don't really know how I feel about following Edward Cullen on stage." Many members of the audience turned my way and peered at me with curiosity. I distracted myself from their stares by ordering an iced tea from the waiter. "Well, here goes, guys..." Judah said and began to play. His music was unique—in a good way. Judah sounded a lot like Jacob Dylan. I made a mental note to mention him to Jenks.

"Just out of curiosity," Bella whispered quietly, leaning toward me when my tea arrived. "I haven't seen you order a Jack and Coke in ages. I really had you pegged as _that_ kind of guy... Was I wrong?"

I choked on the sip I had been drinking and coughed until my throat cleared. God, I really wanted to tell her about the meds to be open and honest about something that personal—but I knew that once she found out and came at me with the "support and comfort" nonsense, I'd fly the coop; I wasn't really ready for that yet.

"Uh, no...you weren't wrong," I finally mumbled. "I've just, uh...just developed a taste for tea suddenly." It wasn't a complete lie. After all, the earthy taste of the iced drink was beginning to grow on me. The only alcoholic drinks I had allowed myself had been an occasional beer. Even the wine that Bella loved to drink with dinner whenever she'd made chicken marsala hadn't touched my lips beyond the taste left on hers afterward.

The look she gave me was incredulous, but thankfully she let it go without another word on the topic.

Though we stayed for the next set, all of us were a little eager for alone time and quickly made our excuses to leave. Ben dropped Bella and I off at her apartment since Bella hadn't driven over; in fact, I discovered that she didn't even have a car, but did own a bicycle. I pictured Bella with her hair flowing in the wind as she pedaled through the streets of Seattle. Fuck, I was getting hard from thinking of her on a freaking bike. I was certainly in over my head.

When we got up to her place, she unlocked the door and flipped a switch just inside. All around, twinkling lights lit up the room and cast a yellow glow around us. Bella smiled shyly as she stepped inside and made her way over to the center of the loft.

"Well, this is it," she informed me sheepishly. I glanced around, taking in the colors and the photos. It was all her. Beautiful. She opened the curtain, exposing a view of the Capitol and the lights of Seattle.

Silently, I walked toward her. My lips brushed over the curve of her shoulder and up her neck as I traced a path to her ear. I nibbled at the fleshy lobe, blowing a warm breath of air across it. My fingers unbuttoned her pants and I pushed my hand down the front of her jeans, cupping her sex and rubbing lightly. Bella mewled against me, arching her back and pressing her ass against my erection.

"What is this, Edward?" The question flew from Bella's lips without warning. My hands stilled in their places over her heated center and on her left breast. Shit. This was the part I didn't want to get to. Though I was slowly coming to grips with the fact that I was indeed in love with Bella, admitting it after not saying those words to anyone in sixteen years was an entirely different story. She slowly turned, and my arms fell away from her body. "You asked me to be yours, and I agreed. You seem to be mine as well. For God's sake, you flew across the country to see me. But what the hell are we doing here?"

I stepped back from her and slumped my shoulders in defeat. "I'm not sure what you want me to tell you," I admitted. "There isn't much I can say that hasn't already been said. You're not just a fuck-buddy, if that's what you're wondering, but I'm not really sure what else you're looking for. You're always so cryptic about the past, and I don't know if I'm pushing too hard. I sure as fuck don't want to push you away."

I watched as a slew of emotions registered on her face: confusion, thought, worry—and finally—understanding.

"Eddie, I'm not looking for anything that you're unwilling or unable to give. And, honestly, I'm not really sure _what _I want. Orgasms are plenty for me. I haven't wanted anything like—like a relationship...not since James, anyway."

My eyes snapped up to hers at the name. Ben had mentioned him when we had been strategizing over my mission to get Bella in bed. Apparently, the guy had done a number on her when she first began working for the _Herald_, but no one had shared exactly what had happened. All I knew was that Bella had been young—fresh out of college—and that the bastard was the reason she hated whenever I called her _baby_.

So, I pulled the uncharacteristic guy move and asked, "Well, why don't you tell me about the bastard?"

cS-Cs

BPOV

"I can't believe the way you're acting with him, Bells," Jake told me as we prepared to land in Seattle. He hadn't spoken more than a handful of words to me throughout the flight, and his sudden interruption of my thoughts had startled me from my daydreams.

Taking a moment to pause after righting my tray-table, I angled my body toward him. "Jacob, I understand that this whole situation must be uncomfortable for you. But I can guarantee you that it wasn't something that was planned. Even a month ago, Edward and I didn't exactly like each other at all. I know that—"

But Jake cut me off before I was allowed to finish my spiel. "But _I _liked you, Bells," he whined. Seriously. He sounded like a kid who had just been grounded.

"Jake, I..."

"I don't get it," he interrupted again. "It wasn't like I didn't show any interest. What's so special about _him_?"

Dumbfounded, I shook my head at him. He couldn't be serious. Sure, I'd been attracted to Jake—hell, any woman with a pulse would be attracted to this gorgeous man—but it never would have worked. "Jake, it's...it's always been _him_." The look of hurt and anguish that crossed his features was unmistakable. Quickly, I tried changing the subject. "What are your plans while we're home?"

He shook his head in confusion, attempting to clear the fog that my words had apparently caused. "I...nothing," he finally said. "No plans...anymore."

Thus the short remainder of the flight and our little journey through baggage claim passed in silence and awkwardness. Before we finally parted ways, I told Jake that I would see him in a couple of days for a meeting at the _Herald_. He nodded in response and hopped into a cab without a word.

I hadn't noticed Ben leaning against his black Lincoln until a shrill whistle sounded from behind me. I spun around, smiling brightly at my best friend. "B, you look like you've been fucking non-stop for the past three weeks. I'm so proud of you!" Blushing under his perusal, I tucked some loose hair behind my ear before making my way to him and wrapping my arms around him.

"Hi, Benny," I greeted happily. "I've missed you."

"I'm taking you out tonight, Baby-B," he informed me with an enormous grin. Part of me wanted to argue, considering how very tired I was, but I hadn't seen my Benny in almost a month and I really had missed him severely.

When we were off and headed to my apartment, I decided to call Edward to let him know that I had made it safely and what our plans were for the rest of the day. While we had freely admitted that we missed each other, Edward and I were still dancing on the lines of how to define _what_ we were. I knew, however, that I wanted to hear his voice as much as possible. I even dreamed of his singing. He was slowly becoming everything to me; that fact scared me more than anything.

cS-Cs

My loft was almost exactly as I had left it, except, of course, for the nearly empty liquor cabinet. Apparently, Rose had either taken my open-door policy very seriously, or she'd been dumping the bottles down the kitchen sink just to stick it to me. However, I was extremely grateful that she had been staying over and keeping my place up for me.

"Are you about ready to head out?" Ben asked me later as I stepped out of the bathroom. I'd decided to wear my hair long and loose, with my white eyelet dress and boots. "You look great, B." I smiled, grabbed my yellow purse, and allowed Benny to thread our fingers together and kiss my cheek. "I've missed you, honey. I'm so glad I get to see you this weekend."

I smiled brightly at one of the greatest men in my life. "I've missed you too, Benny."

"Now you'll get to vote since you'll be home on Election Day. My bill is on the ballot. Referendum 74 is pretty exciting. I just have a feeling that it will pass this year."

"Ben! That's awesome! I'm so glad that I'll be here to vote on it," I told him and threw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

We made our way to the tavern that Ben had been talking non-stop about. Ali and Rose drove separately from their places and met us out front, and we all entered together. It was a fun place—kind of grungy and retro. I guess Ben had called ahead, because they had a table all ready for us. We quickly ordered a round of drinks before the live music was set to start.

To say that I was surprised when I'd suddenly heard Edward's voice singing over the club's sound system would have been the understatement of the century. Well, maybe not of the _century_, but, still, I had been shocked to my core when his voice registered in my ears. I'd first thought it might have been one of their tracks, and I was thrilled that they were getting air time at a local bar; but when I realized it was a _Foo Fighters_ song, I knew that Edward was indeed here. Of course, I couldn't fight the gigantic smile that overtook my face.

Rose and Alice were well aware of my current affair with Edward Cullen. I realized earlier in the night as I spoke with them about it that it was indeed that: an affair. In my heart of hearts, I already knew that Edward wouldn't be looking for any type of long-term commitment—no kids, minivans**, **or mortgages for that man. Even as Rose and Alice warned me of those things, I couldn't help but shrug and grin. If that was in fact the case, then Edward and I were right on the same page.

I watchedin fascination as he played for me in such an intimate setting. The fingers of his right hand moved fluidly over the strings, picking them individually with mastery. His left hand danced over the octaves, knowing exactly where to fret and where to mute. The sound emitted by the beautiful instrument as the notes echoed through the hollow body was gorgeous.

He lifted the pick from his knee, creating a different sound against the strings. It added a new vibe to the music—a crisp rasp as he strummed. His head bobbed to the beat where the drums would have been pounding, if he hadn't been playing acoustically. His fingers pressed and held the string, wiggling over it slightly so a beautiful vibration echoed in the note.

When he finished the song and began to make his way toward me, I leapt from my seat and rushed to him, throwing myself onto him. God, I had missed him so very much. It amazed me how much he had become a fixture in my life in only a month's time.

After the excitement of the surprise wore off and we sat around the table enjoying each other's company, I noticed something interesting: Edward hadn't ordered alcohol, other than beer, in ages. It wasn't that I minded; honestly, we both drank way too much in the first few weeks of knowing each other. Perhaps this was the reason why his anger had seemed to dissipate and vanish; well, maybe it hadn't—he still had an uncanny ability to lash out at Jacob. He denied anything out of the ordinary, though, but somehow, I knew that this sudden behavioral change and Edward's newfound love of iced tea most definitely were not coincidental.

After a couple quick rounds of drinks, Ben drove us to my apartment, dropping us off with a promise of brunch the following morning. When Edward entered the loft and began to look around, I couldn't help but think of the things I'd discussed with Alice and Rosalie earlier._ Affair._ We were having an affair—a fling.

"What is this, Edward?" I couldn't even stop the words that came from my mouth when he bent his head to kiss my skin.

He paused against me, but I pressed on, questioning whatever was going on between us. Edward balked, not knowing exactly how to respond, but mumbled about how I wasn't just a fuck-buddy and how he was unsure of what I wanted. He seemed to believe that _he _was somehow going to push me away. Didn't he realize that I had been afraid of the exact same thing? Quickly, I rescued him and reinforced the idea that I wasn't looking for anything too serious. But I made the mistake of mentioning James' name. _Shit. _

"Well, why don't you tell me about the bastard?" he asked, walking the short distance to my bed in the open loft and plopping down on the edge. The old brass bed frame groaned in protest.

Swallowing thickly, I bee**-**lined for the fridge and pulled out a chilled bottle of Chardonnay. I would definitely need liquid courage if I was going to bare my soul to Edward. The story of James and I was not a light one.

With a large gulp of white wine and deep breath, I began to explain my history.

"James Witherdale is an amazing writer. I had been reading his articles in _The Seattle Herald_ for several years, and I even modeled my own writing style after his. In college, we spent a semester studying the articles of one of our favorite journalists. Well, _he_ was mine.

"He worked as an investigative journalist. James had a way of finding and smelling out things that nobody else could, which earned him the nickname "Tracker" early on in his career. James had even been nominated for a Pulitzer on an article he did about a former crooked mayor and a drug-ring in the city. I spent so many hours poring over his work and researching him, personally.

"When James and I began working together five years ago, I had just started with the _Herald_, but I worked as a paid intern under him, shadowing him and assisting with everything possible. I was very zealous back then, especially since I was working with _him_." Edward nodded, encouraging me to continue. I cleared my throat and went on. "We had a similar dynamic to what Jake and I have, but _James_ was _my_ supervisor.

"We spent a lot of time together, in and out of work. He used the excuse of mentoring me, but I knew that he was just as attracted to me as I was to him." Edward growled under his breath, and I offered him an apologetic shrug. Quickly, I added, "I learned quickly that, to James, women were little more than a piece of ass and a quick fuck. I had little interest in going there; I was trying to focus on my career.

"But on a business trip we took to Portland one week, things changed. After we had checked into our hotel, I was ready to call it a night and head to bed, but James insisted that we grab dinner and a drink at the hotel bar.

"At dinner, I brought my portfolio of articles I'd written, and he studied them closely. When he'd read through the best of them, he told me that he wanted me to start assisting him on the actual writing of his articles. I was completely thrilled that my idol had taken notice of my writing.

"The more we talked, the more we both drank. I remember James saying that he had noticed me noticing him when we worked together. That wasn't false. He was handsome with his shoulder length, wavy blond hair, icy blue eyes, and tanned skin; he looked like a sexy surf bum." A loud sigh sounded from Edward as he attempted to let my comments on James' appeal bounce off of him. I hadn't meant to make Edward uncomfortable, but I wanted to tell him what had happened to make me feel this way.

"The next morning, I woke up beside James and wasn't exactly sure of what had taken place. The last thing I remembered was telling him that I wanted to go to my room to sleep, but, obviously, we had slept together. I tried to process the idea that I'd had sex with him; I knew it would irrevocably change our work dynamic.

"I managed to ease out from under him and make my way to the bathroom. Upon inspecting myself for signs of what had gone on, I saw several bruises on my hips and breasts where he had squeezed me much too roughly. I also found bite marks on the side of my neck and on my left wr—"

"What the fuck, Bella?" Edward shouted and jumped to his feet, pushing his hand through his hair. "What the hell did you do to the prick after that?"

"Calm down, Eddie," I said gently, trying to sooth him. There was still much to tell. "I could not believe that he'd had the gall to mark me that way, and I was equally surprised by what we'd done—I was _not_ a girl who had ever liked rough sex." Edward's cringe told me just how much he didn't want to hear about _that _aspect of my relationship with another man. But I had to continue.

"After he had woken up and I asked him what had happened, James claimed that when I had apparently asked him to take me to my hotel room and thrown myself at him, he couldn't deny how much he wanted me any longer. That completely threw me for a loop. I'd never thrown myself at a man like that before, but I believed what he had claimed.

"He told me that he had wanted to be with me for months. James didn't seem like the type to _be_ with someone. Alas, he swore up one side and down the other that he wanted to be with me. When he kissed me after that while I stood frozen in shock, I felt my defenses weaken—he definitely knew what he was doing." Glancing up at Edward, I noticed him take a deep breath in through his nostrils and grind his teeth. I hadn't even gotten to the worst of it yet. "The next thing I knew, we were together. It was as if I had been completely...dazzled—God, that sounds stupid. I just...it was just that my mind had been changed so quickly...like I hadn't even been the one making the decision.

"Our _relationship_ lasted six months, during which I went through many ups and downs. It had started out surprisingly great. We worked really well together, though we kept the intimate relationship aspect of it quiet. We wrote several excellent articles together, though I could never claim credit. But, I was more than repaid for my assistance when we were alone." Edward rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and huffed in annoyance.

"However," I continued, "after Varner mentioned a position opening at the _New York Times_ and I jumped at the opportunity, things began to change. James was suddenly uninterested in talking very much to me, and he would only come over to fuck."

"Shit, I don't think I can listen to that, Bella," Edward said, holding his head in his hands.

"Do you want to know about him or not, Edward?" I asked, my voice laced with annoyance. He was the one who had wanted me to talk about this bullshit in the first place. With a heavy sigh, Edward finally waved his hand, encouraging me to continue. "Unfortunately, the sex wasn't good for me anymore. James stopped making sure that I was ready for him, and I often found myself sore and aching afterward. I stopped finding any pleasure in sex with him at all, but I was terrified of breaking things off with him, imagining the worst possible things that could happen to my career. He could have _destroyed _me." I watched as Edward threw his arms up in the air and fell backward onto the bed in exasperation.

"Often, I would get my heart set on leaving, but he always managed to get into my head and convince me that he was the only one who would ever be there for me. Of course James was wrong. I still saw Ali, Rose, and Ben during the time we were together. And they knew about us but didn't realize how bad it had been.

"James was extremely manipulative. He would fuck me raw, not allowing me to even climax, and then tell me how much he loved me. He called me _babe_ and _baby_ all the time. 'Babe, I love you,' he would say. 'Baby, you're _it _for me...'" I imitated James' baritone voice. Edward's eyes met mine as understanding flashed through them. _Babe_ was definitely a trigger for me.

"The day that James told me he was leaving for the job with the _New York Times_—the same one that I had wanted so desperately—I was torn. Not only had he gone behind my back and applied for that job after I had said I was going to, but I also realized that my way out of his control had been paved for me. The problem was that I had come to rely on him for the confidence that I was suddenly lacking on my own—he would feed me self-esteem and then starve me of it, until I came to solely seek him for those things."

"I swear to God, Bella," Edward said through gritted teeth. "I'm going to kill him. I'm going to rip him apart and burn him alive."

"He isn't worth it, Edward," I told him firmly. The last thing I wanted Edward to think was that I needed him to fight a lost battle for me. "Anyway, by the time James flew out of Sea-Tac two weeks later, I was really confused. A very sick part of me missed him, but a bigger part of me was ready to be free. I managed to easily slip into the blogging position at work. I was ready for a fresh-start in my career—that, I was certain of.

"My body took a bit longer to heal from the aftermath of James, however." I knew that Edward really wouldn't want to hear this, but I pressed on nonetheless. "The next guy I slept with had been hard to handle. He tried to spend extra time preparing me and warming me up for him, but no matter how much he licked and teased me, I just couldn't manage to become aroused. We'd gone through at least two bottles of lubricant when he finally broke it off with me. I felt horrible, because I had really liked Demetri as a person, but it apparently just wasn't enough.

"Each guy after him was a similar story. I just came to rely on lubricated condoms and toys. Even their fingers and tongues couldn't do the trick. I felt like a dysfunctional mess. I despised when they called me _babe _and _baby_—it only served to remind me of James. None of those relationships lasted. I didn't blame any of the guys; I was really just too much work. I enjoyed sex as long as I had my vibrator, at least."

I looked down at Edward, sprawled out on my bed with his right hand pressing against his eyes. His left hand clenched and unclenched over and over as thoughts of murdering my ex filtered through his mind. Placing my hand on his fist, I told Edward, "You are a completely different story, though. Even the first night that we met, I was completely turned on just from looking at you. Maybe I'm cured now or something, but it was as if...as if my body had recognized its mate." I closed my eyes and laughed lightly in embarrassment. "God, that sounded so stupid, too."

"Did you do anything to help yourself after all that shit, Bella?" Edward asked. Apparently, he didn't find anything amusing about the situation at all, though I found it really funny that _he _was asking _me _such a question after all he'd been through.

"Why, Edward?" I asked, a little peeved. "Have _you _done anything to help yourself deal with the death of your parents?" I knew that I shouldn't have asked that question. Mentally, I prepared myself for the anger I had become so familiar with to pop up in his eyes. But it never came.

"Earlier, you asked me why I haven't been drinking," he said. Slowly, I nodded. "Well, I'm taking my anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds. So, yeah, I have done something to help myself."

Pride bubbled up in my chest. I had just known that there was something very different about him. Edward had been transforming before my eyes, and I was so happy that he'd begun to take charge of his life. But, I still needed to answer his question.

Sighing, I admitted, "I saw a therapist a few times—only because Ben insisted—but they told me the same things over and over again, that I would heal in time and feel better about myself with the mental exercises they gave me. Instead, I decided to make myself strong.

"I knew the exact moment that I became a new person. Alice had sensed that something was wrong with me during that time, but I would always swear that I was fine and ignore her pleas to let her help. One day, she forced me to go shopping with her. Ali and I were walking down the Pacific Place shopping area, me wearing oversized clothes and my hair in a tight, ugly ponytail. We stopped in front of a boutique selling this beautiful, chic dress, and Alice ordered me to try it on. The rest is history. I changed my style, my hair, my makeup—everything about me that James had been controlling without me even realizing it. I pushed my way higher up the ladder at work. I forced myself to get noticed, and I pushed the idea of relationships out of my mind and became the strong bitch that I am now.

"It worked pretty great..." I trailed off "...until you came along. It's not that I'm closed off to love and stuff like that, but I don't do relationships. I want to be free to leave when I want to, and I never want to feel trapped again. Do you know what I'm talking about, Edward?"

He nodded his head slowly in understanding. "I get it, Bella," he reassured me. "I want you to feel safe with me. And don't ever feel like you're stuck. I'm going to be the one that makes you happy, not manipulate and trap you."

The rest of the night was spent quietly getting ready for bed—brushing our teeth side by side in my small bathroom, watching each other as we slipped into our night clothes, and finally Edward spooning behind me on the bed and singing softly into my ear as we drifted off to sleep.

Though the gang had invited us out, we spent the next day strolling through the streets of Seattle, taking in the touristy sights and never again mentioning James or the past. Silently, we decided to live in the moment and not force talks of futures or relationships. After we fell into each other's arms in my bed that night, screaming in our ecstasy, I was determined to live this way for as long as possible. In the name of existing in this blissfully beautiful state forever, I would open my heart up to Edward...just a little bit more. Surely, I didn't need the things that most women did: the house, the kids, the marriage, the white picket fence. I could not have known in that moment exactly how wrong I would be.

A/N:

Thoughts?

We're so close to the end of Skylark and coming up fast on Chasing Sparrows! YAY!


	17. More Than A Feeling

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Our Caged Skylark playlist (so far):**

-Opener (You Me and Apollo)

-Somebody Told Me (The Killers)

-A Pearl (You Me and Apollo)

-Bulletproof (The Goo Goo Dolls)

-Black Bird (The Beatles)

-15 Step (Radiohead)

-Amigone (The Goo Goo Dolls)

-Closing Time (Semisonic)

-Raise Your Glass (P!nk)

-Smile Like You Mean It (The Killers)

-Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Pat Benetar)

-Chasing Pavements (Adele)

-Give Me Everything (Pitbull, Ne-Yo, etc...)

-All My Life (Foo Fighters)

-White Sky (Vampire Weekend)

-Everlong (Foo Fighters)

-More Than A Feeling (Boston)

**Thank you for all of the reviews! They're so appreciated!**

**I'd like to thank my wonderful betas, hammondgirl and starpower31, and my pre reader, 2loveybunnies. I love them all to pieces!**

**The song for this chapter is "More Than A Feeling" by Boston. Enjoy!**

"More Than A Feeling"

BPOV

The month of November passed quickly. After his two-day trip to Seattle, Edward had jetted back to meet the tour bus in Tennessee, while I'd stayed behind for two extra days. After voting on election morning, I had visited my dad for a few hours.

I hadn't seen Charlie in a few months, and it was nice to have a chance to spend time with him. He'd been a little skeptical of his daughter getting involved with a musician—especially one I who was working with. My sweet, embarrassed father tried to give me some advice about sex, which I shut down quickly with a reply of, "For God's sake, I'm not a virgin, Dad!" Face ashen, he had stopped talking and the night had ended fairly quickly after that.

I also stayed behind to meet with _Dick_... I mean, _Varner_. I was still trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Since the time I'd burst into his office and almost gave up my new column, he'd been nothing but supportive of my articles. Well, perhaps a bit harsh about my comma usage, but nevertheless, I had suddenly found him on Team Bella. The man seemed genuinely interested in my experiences on the road, though of course, I had left out the fact that I was sleeping with the lead singer of the band I was assigned to cover. No matter how much Varner was cheering for me to succeed, I was quite certain that little detail wouldn't have flown over very well.

When I landed in Nashville with Jacob, Danny, the tour bus driver, was waiting for us at the airport. Jake and I hadn't spoken much on the plane, and there had been zero words shared between the three of us in the cab of the recycled moving van, aka the sound truck. The awkwardness each time we were around each other was not lost on me. He simply refused to accept the things he could not change.

When we had pulled to a stop in front of the _Ryman Auditorium_, I jumped out and headed straight for the backstage entrance along the side of the building. I could hear the hum of the speakers and the buzz of the monitors. I'd made it in time for sound-check. Staying behind the curtain, I quietly observed as Edward got into rock-star mode.

"Em," Edward spoke into his mic. "Count us off."

Emmett twirled the drumsticks between his fingers in typical showman style before tapping them together over his head. "Four, three, two..." Together, the band played the introduction to another brand new piece. I wondered briefly if maybe this could be another song about me, and Edward confirmed my suspicions when he began to sing out.

_"Hey, my little muse, _

_I've been dreamin'_

_Of finding something worth believin' in. _

_I don't know I what I did to deserve this_

_But I'm not givin' it up without a fight—_

_I'm sure as hell not gonna miss this amazing life..."_

_"Little muse,_

_The things you do to me—_

_Even the way you nibble your finger while you read._

_I never realized it could be this way—_

_Oh, this must be the real thing."_

The way he sang, I could have sworn that I was listening to a man in love. I took a deep, needy breath, desperately searching my soul to see if I was indeed ready for such a thing. Yes, I wanted to be with him; in fact, I wanted to be with him forever if I could, but was it too premature to even imagine such a thing?

_Am I in love with him? Is he really in love with me?_

_"What did you expect?"_ he sang, answering my thoughts in the crescendo of the chorus, holding and bending the note by stepping on the delay pedal and grabbing the whammy bar.

_"What do you want me to say? _

_Everything about you means everything to me._

_I won't be able to get you out of my head for years to come,_

_So promise not to go away,_

_Little muse..."_

"They're pretty amazing, aren't they?" a voice to my left asked, distracting me from the rest of the lyrics. I glanced over and noticed a stunning woman with dirty blonde hair and legs a mile long. I nodded slowly, wondering who she might be. "I'm Christy," the woman said, answering my unspoken question. She stuck her hand out to me and shook mine firmly. "Christy McCarty."

I gaped at her. _Shit. _Rose was most definitely going to hate this woman. If she and Rose were any inclination of what Emmett's type really was, then leggy blondes with big boobs were certainly it.

Speak of the devil, Emmett noticed her and suddenly leapt up from his drum set and raced in our direction. He grabbed Christy up in his arms and hugged her tightly.

"Emmy-bear!" she called out in a merry, sing-song voice. Damn, their chemistry obviously hadn't diminished in the years since she'd become his sister-in-law. _Shit! Rose is going to kill her..._ I thought as I tried to get away from the two of them as quickly as possible. I moved from behind the curtain and into the full view of Edward. When he caught sight of me, his fingers faltered over the chords he'd been strumming and he swallowed thickly.

"How long have you been here?" Edward asked me cautiously, angling his face from the microphone so that the rest of the crew couldn't hear his question.

Smirking, I raised my eyebrow at him. "Long enough," I said, assuring him that I had indeed heard the song, and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him squarely on the lips. "And what a hello that was. It was a beautiful song, Eddie."

Emotions flickered across Edward's face under my heated gaze. "I didn't want you to hear it yet." Edward turned red as his face flushed. I laughed aloud at the thought. Honestly, I didn't realize that he was even capable of being flustered. Apparently, I was wrong. "What? What's so funny?" he questioned, a smirk finally appearing on his face.

"I just never thought I'd live to see the day that Edward Cullen got embarrassed," I told him with a snort. His eyes widened for a moment before he suddenly picked me up, tossed me over his shoulder, and carried me toward the stage exit.

"Cullen?" Jared's voice echoed from the sound booth and through the empty auditorium. "You have one more song, man."

Rolling his eyes, Edward steered us quickly toward Jasper's microphone. "Get Embry down here to finish the guitar piece on the song," Edward instructed with the authority of a lead singer. "The vocals are fine, and I'm going to be a little busy for a while." Nodding toward Jasper and carrying me past Emmett and Christy, he told them, "See you in a while, guys."

cS-Cs

"Yeah? You like that, beautiful?" I nodded and mewled in response. My mind and voice could not articulate the right words. "Yeah?" Edward asked again, pounding harder.

"Agh!" I cried out. I began pulsating around his cock as pleasure tore through me. The orgasm was powerful and shocking in its intensity. He pinned my lower back to the countertop, pressing himself deeper into me, driving his length further into my body until he, too, finally surrendered his release.

He stilled against my body, resting his weight against my slouched form on the bathroom counter in a panting, trembling heap of limbs. My own body was quaking with the aftershocks of my climax, and I tried desperately to catch my breath.

"Fuck..." Edward mumbled as he slipped out of me, wincing at the tender sensitivity. After he discarded the condom and tucked himself back into his pants, Edward stood back between my legs and kissed me soundly. His eyes held mine with firm adoration. "Bella, I... I need to let you know...I lo—"

"Will you come to Renee and Phil's with me for Christmas?" I asked quickly, cutting him off. The confused look he gave me quickly morphed into defeat. The bright intensity in his green eyes dimmed from my interruption. Neither of us spoke for a moment, until a mask finally passed over his face, preventing any emotion from seeping out. It was obviously a carefully practiced façade developed from years of wearing it.

"Uh, let me give Carlisle and Esme a call and see if they don't mind. Esme usually likes to have a big party and invites all her celebrity friends over," he mumbled before pausing and thinking. "Actually, that sounds fucking awful. I'm usually miserable at those things. I'll go to Pennsylvania with you, Bella."

My face lit up at his acceptance and my successful distraction. As we straightened our clothes, I told Edward about Phil's job with the Scranton Yankees. Beyond a snide comment about how Juan Navarro better not show up unless he wanted Edward to follow through on the broken pitching arm threat, Edward seemed to let my previous interruption slide. I didn't think he was ready for the "L" word—especially not when it was only sex-induced. I knew that I sure as hell didn't want to hear it in a post-orgasmic state either, especially since that was the only reason he was going to say it in the first place.

I made my way outside of the auditorium in time to meet Rose and Alice as their taxi pulled up and hugged them both fiercely. We hadn't gotten to spend much time together in Seattle, and I needed a few moments with my girls. When we got back into the building, I steered them toward an unoccupied dressing room and locked the door behind us.

"He's in love with me." The words came out of my mouth in a flood. Rose arched an eyebrow while Alice jumped up and down, clapping and squealing.

"I didn't think that emo-boy had it in him," Rose said mockingly. All I could do was shrug. Honestly, I had no idea what was going on in that man's head, but even without him almost saying the words to me, I knew he was feeling things that were new to him; hell, they were new to me as well. I learned what love _was NOT_ after James, and I wasn't entirely sure that I was ready for a follow-up lesson.

"Rose!" Alice admonished before turning to me with a bright smile. "Really, B, this is great! I'm excited for you both. Will we be hearing wedding bells soon?"

My mouth hung open, and I blanched at her words. _Do my friends not know me at all?_ "Um... No, Ali. There will be no wedding in my future, even _if _I do stay with Edward, or _if _we loved each other. Neither one of us want or need that. Or kids, for that mat—"

"You don't want children?" Rose asked. Shock and horror registered on her perfect face. _Dammit. _It was so insensitive of me to say something like that in her presence. Even if I hadn't know what had happened to her all those years ago—even if I hadn't sat in that hospital with her as the doctors told her that she would never get to have children—I shouldn't have brought that up. "You _can_ have them but you just don't _want_ them?"

I reached out to grasp my friend's hand. "Rose," I said. "I'm so sorry..."

Clenching her jaw, Rose pulled her hand from my grasp and turned toward the door. "I'm going to go find my fiancée."

Gasping, I rushed in front of her and grabbed her left hand, halting her progress. Sure enough, there sat a beautiful diamond engagement ring. Of course I hadn't seen her during the final days of my trip back to Seattle because I'd been too busy, but I'd never received a phone call or a text message telling me that they'd gotten engaged.

"When did he propose?" I questioned quietly as guilt ate through my soul. Ali and Rose had been wonderful friends to me during the first leg of the tour; they had both texted me constantly, checking on how the tour was progressing and how Edward and I were getting along. _I_, on the other hand, had been a complete and total slacker of a friend. That apparent fact was gleaming up at me in the form of a shiny, new diamond.

Rose put her hand on her hip, challenging me to come up with a good excuse for neglecting our friendship. "While you and Edward were off touring Seattle and ignoring us, we all went out to a nice dinner and Emmett asked me to be his wife."

There was nothing to say; she was completely right. I could only stare at her as she moved around me and walked away. Alice came to stand behind me and wrapped me up in her little arms, pressing her cheek to my shoulder blades.

"She'll get over it, B," Alice said softly. "Last night on the phone with Emmett, Rose was crying about not being able to give him babies. Your remark just cut a little deep, I'm afraid."

"I didn't mean to hurt her," I assured my friend, feelings of remorse running through me. "It's not that I hate children or something, but I know what I want in my life—my career—and kids don't fit into that picture. This is one of those things that aren't negotiable."

Alice slipped from behind me to reach for the door handle. She paused for a few beats before turning back to stare at me with a distant look in her eyes. "Things don't always go as we plan, Bella," the wise little oracle told me. "Sometimes life and the powers that be have very different fates in mind for us." She pulled the door open and stepped into the hallway.

cS-Cs

EPOV

Bella had stopped me from saying it. I couldn't believe I had read the signals so wrong. Honestly, she was confusing me. Everything we did—everything we were together—should have shown her how I feel about her. From the first moment I saw her, Bella quickly became an all-consuming passion in my life. Like a Colorado wildfire, it spread; she was lightning, striking the rotting forest of my life and burning me to ash. Now, little buds of green life had begun to spring up through the embers, and I was discovering restored existence.

We'd left the bathroom to go our separate ways, since I had to get changed for the show and take my meds, and Bella insisted on being present when her girlfriends arrived in order to "prevent Rose from murdering Em's sister-in-law," as she had claimed. I hadn't understood what she meant but just shrugged and headed toward the dressing room.

As we got ready to go onstage, I thought over the events of the past few days. My trip to Seattle to see Bella, after I had realized that I was falling in love with her, hadn't exactly gone as planned. After that first night and her confessions about that James motherfucker, it was a bit more difficult to enjoy my time there. I couldn't believe that freaking prick and the way he'd treated her. She deserved someone who could give her everything she needed and deserved—even though I still didn't know if I was that person.

While we were touring the Space Needle, Bella had briefly mentioned that she was uninterested in kids and the whole...shebang in her life. I had been pleasantly surprised to hear that the typical things that women wanted didn't interest her at all. I just didn't know if she really meant it or not. _I_ certainly did _not _want children. After the struggles I had as a kid after my parents died, I would never want to be responsible for another human being in that way. Perhaps we would be able to go through life like this, enjoying each other's company, but both able to walk away if it became something we no longer wanted.

I cringed at the thought. I didn't want to walk away, and I sure as hell wouldn't allow Bella to leave. She understood me like nobody else ever had, and I understood what the physical relationship meant to her after all she'd been through. At this point, it was working well for both of us. I only hoped that neither of us would need too much more.

_Love isn't too much, is it?_

The battle over speaking the words "I love you" waged in my in my mind. Bella certainly wasn't making it easy on me. Perhaps I needed to step away from the words; surely she would know how I felt by simply hearing the songs I'd written for her. For the moment, I would have to wait on telling her any of my feelings and just suck it up and be a man. She would discover how I felt by my actions and lyrics soon enough.

The auditorium erupted in applause and we were given the signal to take the stage. Embry passed my guitar off to me just before I entered the bright spotlight. I stepped on my distortion pedal and immediately began playing the muted power-chord introduction while Jas and Em took their places. As soon as Em reached the drum set, he lifted the sticks high above his head before bringing them down with such force that the stage shook. All the lights turned on at that moment, shining brightly in our eyes and shadowing nearly the entire audience from our view.

_"I forgot my place in line,_

_Forgot my mission statement._

_But you sure as hell didn't help me out._

_Now I've got to deal with the fine. _

_What were you thinking about?_

_What was I doing?_

_I missed that train outta here,_

_But, believe me, _

_I'll make my quick escape..."_

As I sang the lyrics to our first song, something just felt off to me. The words weren't right anymore. They used to have such a place in my life, but, suddenly, I couldn't find meaning in them. Stumbling over a few words, Jasper was there to keep the momentum going while I attempted to quickly pull it together. The crowd cheered us on, despite my fumbling.

The set continued without further mistakes, though I couldn't quite get my bearings for the rest of the show. At one point, I glanced over to Bella's usual place at stage left, only to discover her in a heated argument with Rosalie, who was also shooting glares at Em's sister-in-law. Rosalie finally stormed off and left a confused and annoyed looking Bella in her wake. When she caught my eye, I offered her a wink and an encouraging grin, but the smile I received in return didn't quite reach her eyes.

cS-Cs

The after party was filled to capacity. Previously, the groupies had all been around for _Axing Questions_, but now we'd begun to amass many of our own. Too bad for them we were all taken; but that didn't stop them from hanging onto us. We found ourselves prying women off of ourselves.

Most of the girls had noticed Bella beside me and thought better of continuing to bother us, but some girls didn't have any sense of self-preservation apparently. More than once, a groupie offered to join Bella and me in our bed. One offer included a girl pounding into Bella with a strap-on while I took the girl in the ass. I couldn't help the sexy-as-fuck image from popping into my head, but the murderous glare on Bella's face sent the idiot groupie running. My girl grabbed me by my shirt collar and dragged me behind her toward the tour bus.

We didn't even make it to the bedroom of the bus before Bella stripped herself of her denim-shorts and had my cock released, sheathed in a condom, and inside of her as she bent over the table. I stood her up as straight as possible with the position we were in, and grabbed the hem of her shirt as I tugged it up and over her head. Her pink-lace-encased tits fell free of the black T-shirt. I had to bend my knees in order to get the appropriate leverage, but when we found our rhythm, I was able to thrust up into her and reach around her to rub her clit at the same time. Holding her against my chest as I both took and gave pleasure, Bella finally came undone in my arms with shaking intensity. I spilled out into the condom with a satisfied groan.

After I slipped out of Bella, she tugged me into our bedroom and we both laid down in complete exhaustion. I drew lazy circles on her back until I heard her breathing even out. My eyelids grew heavier and heavier. Before I finally succumbed to unconsciousness, I heard the distant mumbling of my own voice. "I love you, Isabella."

**A/N:**

**Thoughts?**

**We're so close to the end of Skylark and coming up fast on Chasing Sparrows! YAY!**

**GO read!**

**If you're bored while you wait for a CS update ( ;-P ) go read anything by lellabeth, 2amlovesick, or kekahj**

**... SERIOUSLY. Great writers!**


	18. Come On

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Our Caged Skylark playlist (so far):**

-Opener (You Me and Apollo)

-Somebody Told Me (The Killers)

-A Pearl (You Me and Apollo)

-Bulletproof (The Goo Goo Dolls)

-Black Bird (The Beatles)

-15 Step (Radiohead)

-Amigone (The Goo Goo Dolls)

-Closing Time (Semisonic)

-Raise Your Glass (P!nk)

-Smile Like You Mean It (The Killers)

-Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Pat Benetar)

-Chasing Pavements (Adele)

-Give Me Everything (Pitbull, Ne-Yo, etc...)

-All My Life (Foo Fighters)

-White Sky (Vampire Weekend)

-Everlong (Foo Fighters)

-More Than A Feeling (Boston)

-Come On (West Water Outlaws)

**Thank you for all of the reviews! They're so appreciated!**

**I'd like to thank my wonderful betas, hammondgirl and starpower31, and my pre reader, 2loveybunnies. I love them all to pieces!**

**The song for this chapter is "Come On" by West Water Outlaws. Enjoy!**

_**FOR BABS. THINKING OF YOU, LOVE!**_

"Come On"

(West Water Outlaws)

BPOV

Ft. Lauderdale, FL

Late December

_I don't have time to wait, don't have time to catch my breath or slow down. I run and run, harder and harder, until my legs ache, burning with the sharpness of strain. The more I push myself, the more numb I feel. I can't get away fast enough. _

_"Isabella!" His voice calls out to me. Glancing behind me, I see him gaining speed, closing the distance between us. James' pale skin and blond hair become tan and auburn the closer he gets to me. "Isabella!" _

_"No!" I yell as his arms wrap around me and he tackles me to the ground. He shakes my body like a rag doll; my head thrashes around as I scream louder. Flailing my arms, I scratch at any flesh I can find. _

_"Isabella! Bella!"_

My eyes flew open and I sat up with a start, panting, with sweat pouring down my face and chest. Edward was propped up on his elbow beside me with his hands held up in surrender. Red scratches covered his chest, and blotches of pink popped up from where I had hit and punched him during my nightmare.

I held up my hands, looking at my fingernails and Edward's skin underneath them. Quickly, I scrambled off the bed and pressed against the wall. The fact that I had attacked Edward in my sleep, in the midst of a nightmare, was unreal. I'd never before experienced such a realistic dream, or such an intense reaction to one for that matter.

"Bella?" His voice broke through my terrified thoughts. "Are you okay, bab—uh, are you all right?" I could see in his eyes that he was as worried for me as I was terrified, but his arms still reached for me. "Come back to bed, love," Edward encouraged, gently coaxing me to relax.

Instead, I turned toward the door and made a quick escape across the cold bus floor to the bathroom, slamming the door swiftly behind me. I stared at my refection in the small mirror as I gasped for each breath. After several moments of focusing my energy on my breathing, I heard a soft knock at the door.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Edward's voice reached softly through the door. How was I supposed to tell him that I had dreamed about him and my terrible ex-boyfriend being the same person? I had no idea where that had come from; it didn't make any sense to me. After I had confessed to Edward about what had happened with James, I hadn't thought of my ex again. I was a master at pushing things out of my mind...usually. But, he had managed to work his way back inside.

"I'll be there in a minute, Edward," I assured him, hoping he would let it go and return to bed. All I'd needed in that moment was some solitude—a few more minutes to collect myself. He didn't respond, but after many long moments, I finally heard his feet shuffle away from the door.

Turning on the faucet, I splashed cool water on my flushed face and brushed my teeth. I hadn't had a dream about James in over a year, and even then, the dreams hadn't been nightmares. I searched my mind for any reason that I would be having bad dreams about him at this point in my life, but I couldn't think of anything that would cause such scary images to run through my sleeping mind. It had to be the fact that I had confessed that one dark secret to Edward.

Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the peroxide, cotton balls, and antibiotic ointment and turned back to the bedroom. I shivered with each step as my bare feet walked the short distance to the room. December had really arrived in force, even in the southern states. I wished I could have remained tucked in beside Edward's warm body until the sun came up later in the morning instead of having that nightmare.

The lamp had been turned on in the room, and it illuminated Edward, who was sitting on the edge of the bed with his elbows resting on his knees. He had slipped back into his boxers, and only then did I realize that I was only wearing Edward's T-shirt. Thank God the bathroom had been closer to us than to Emmett and Jasper or they would have definitely seen my behind. I wouldn't have lived that one down.

Edward looked up when I walked into the room, taking stock of my form and making certain that I was all right. I did the same of him. The marks where I had hit him had all faded, though one light purple bruise had begun to form, marring his sexy right pec with the shape of my fist. Damn. I had hit him really hard. I guess those boxing lessons I'd taken after James had left had actually taught me something.

"What did you dream about?" Edward asked, drawing my eyes up to his and seeking answers in them. But I couldn't—I didn't want to—open a new can of worms.

I shook my head and lied. "It was...I was just being chased." God, I was a terrible liar. What the hell had I been thinking? Edward would surely see right through that. But, instead, he slowly nodded and finally patted the spot beside him. With a soft smile, I sat on our bed, tucking my knees underneath me. "Let me clean you up," I told him and held up the peroxide.

Edward looked down at his clawed up chest with a shrug. "It's nothing, Bella," he reassured me. "I've had worse. In fact, just last week—if you'll recall—you made quite a scratching post of my back." His words were light and teasing, but the worry was still laced within them.

I flushed at the memory. Ah, yes. After I had begged him to slap my ass, which he'd done with quite an amount of force, I turned around and clawed his back as I slid over his throbbing cock.

Nevertheless, I insisted on taking care of him. "Just lean back, stud," I ordered with a smirk. Rolling his eyes, Edward rested back on his elbows and exposed his chest for my doctoring. I unscrewed the cap of the peroxide and doused a cotton ball with it. Some of the peroxide had dripped onto the _Midnight Sun_ T-shirt I had borrowed from Edward, and had already begun to form a big pinkish blemish on the black cotton. "Shit. I'm sorry, Eddie," I apologized.

He shrugged and my favorite crooked grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Oh well," he told me with a wink. "Now, every time I wear it, I'll think of your fingernails on my skin." With a giggle, I quickly brought the soaked cotton ball to a scratch and he yelped at the contact. "Fuck! Bella, that's freezing cold!"

Grinning slyly, I leaned in close to his skin and blew a breath of warm air over the wet surface. The resulting goose bumps spread over his body, and I held his eyes as I brought my head down to kiss the bruise on his chest.

"I am so sorry," I said with regret-tainted words.

With a quick movement, I was underneath him. Edward's towering body lingered over mine with authority and strength. "Stop apologizing, Isabella," he commanded, and dropped his head to kiss along my collarbone. "We all have nightmares. I'm happy that I was here in this bed, holding you, and able to wake you before it got worse. I will be glad to carry your pain in those times if it helps you."

It felt like I was looking at him for the first time. Eyes once occupied with anger and torment had transformed. Yes, I could still see the pain in their green depths, but they were suddenly filled with something else as well—something hopeful.

It dawned on me then, how much I needed him to know my heart. But, I wanted to be the one to say it first. If he had said it, then I'd feel pressured to repeat it; that had been the story with James. No, it _had_ to be me taking that step.

Placing my hands on either side of his face, I leaned up close to his ear. "I love you, Edward." I whispered the words, swallowing thickly against the fear and emotion building up in my throat.

His movements stilled in an instant and he lifted his head to look down at my face. The joy I saw in his eyes was tangible. Suddenly, Edward's lips were on mine, moving hungrily and fluidly in a rehearsed dance. He kissed my chin and up my jaw to my ear. "Bella... Bella," he whispered huskily. "I love you. I've been trying to tell you for weeks."

I smiled up at him when he raised his head to look down upon me; despite the doubt and fear in my chest, I knew that life would never be the same again. And, for once, I thought it might be all right to give this love stuff a second chance. "Who would have known four months ago that we'd be here right now?" I asked him with a chuckle.

His face grew serious and earnest. "I never knew it was possible, but you show me every day that after all the shit fades away, there is something good in this world. You are the love of my very existence."

All other words were forgotten as Edward slid down my body, lifting my cold feet onto his muscled shoulders and planting sweet, open-mouthed kisses on my bare thighs. The man was a master with his tongue. He knew the exact amount of suction and licking it took to make my insides turn to liquid; and when they did, Edward was happy to be there to press into my eager body.

We rolled all over that bed, neither completely satisfied with the position we would find ourselves in, until finally Edward pulled out of me and turned me over. Sitting up on his knees, he pulled me up over him so that I straddled his thighs backward. Now, he had full access to my body, and his hands touched and moved and rubbed all over my flushed flesh. The man certainly knew how to heat me up quickly.

When I came apart around him, Edward pressed a deep, marking kiss right underneath my ear. "Mine..." he growled as he surrendered and released his pleasure.

After a moment to catch our breaths, Edward lifted my limp body off of him and laid me gently onto my stomach on his side of the bed. I lazily pulled his pillow under my head and inhaled deeply, taking in as much of the sandalwood as I could. His pillow smelled so wonderful, all masculine perfection.

I let my eyes watch as he slipped off the condom and tied off the top. He dropped it into the wastebasket we'd adopted so we wouldn't always have to rush off to the bathroom. Edward looked at me and grinned crookedly before laying down on my pillow.

"Your pillow smells good, love," he told me as he sniffed at the pillowcase.

Giggling, I reached out a hand to play with the blondish-red hairs on his chest. "I was just thinking the same thing about yours." Edward's chuckle was light and happy. Perfect.

After the sex had warmed me up so nicely, the loss of it allowed the chill to seep back into my body. I shivered, despite the T-shirt I wore.

"C'mere, beautiful," Edward said, tugging the blanket out from under our bodies. "Let's get you covered up." Smiling gently, I allowed him to pull the blanket over my legs and sighed contentedly as he held me close to himself under the covers.

He stared at me thoughtfully for several moments, neither of us speaking as we watched each other. Finally, a grin tugged at Edward's lips and he lifted himself up over me and reached for his phone on the tiny nightstand beside the bed. He slid the camera app open, flipping the lens to focus on us, and held it out to his side so it would capture both of us together. I rested my cheek on his shoulder and rolled my eyes.

"A picture? You're not going to post this on Facebook, are you?" I teased. Edward reached his hand down and pinched my naked ass.

"Stop being sassy, woman," Edward demanded with a saucy smile. He moved us into the position he wanted and exclaimed with all the enthusiasm of a child, "Say _cheese_!" I laughed out loud at the huge, corny grin on his face, and just when he hit the little camera symbol to take the photo, I winked and stuck my tongue out. "Hey!" he huffed in mock frustration. "Don't be a brat." I raised a challenging eyebrow at him. "Fine, fine," he seceded. "One serious picture for every silly one. Deal?"

I laughed and nodded enthusiastically, grabbing the phone out of his hand and holding it high above us. We took a series of hilarious photos: tongues out, eyes crossed, fingers in each other's nose. Finally, Edward decided we'd had enough silly and should move onto the serious photo shoot. After taking a few shots of us kissing and smiling lovingly into the camera, Edward snatched the phone out of my hand and focused the lens solely onto me.

"Make love to the camera, beautiful," he said in the worst faux French accent I'd ever heard. Rolling my eyes, I let my grin lift my lips. Edward paused and leaned around the side of the camera. His face was serious and raw. "You're so goddamn beautiful, love. How is it even possible?" he asked. Flushing, I looked down and played with the bleached speckles on the T-shirt. "Now, look up, woman. Tell me how much you love it when I let you drink my jizz."

I barked out a loud, horrified laugh but smiled brightly as he took the picture. My man was something else.

cS-Cs

EPOV

We had arrived in Pennsylvania for Christmas. Despite having grown up in Chicago, I had quickly become accustomed to the warm weather of Los Angeles when Carlisle and Esme had taken me in. But, now, being thrown into the cold, icy winter, I had been less than thrilled. Thankfully, Renee and Phil had been very welcoming and accommodating.

Since my teenage years, the holiday season had always been a painful time; it served as a constant reminder of the family that I no longer had. Of course, Esme had always hosted a brilliant holiday extravaganza, inviting the who's who of Hollywood's 1980's crowd. Some of the people were still famous, but most of them were just looking to reminisce about their glory days.

Bella's family holidays were completely different. Instead of the hype and hoopla over the gifts and the red, green, and white, we had done some kind of interesting ceremony commemorating the winter solstice. Afterward, Bella had informed me that this had been her mother's latest phase—_Neopaganism_. It certainly wasn't something that I was used to, but I ended up really enjoying a different and original take on the holiday. The food was delicious. Bella had to do the cooking because Renee apparently wasn't a very good chef. We'd eaten Beef Wellington and a delicious dessert of cranberry tarts.

Renee had been very enthusiastic about my and Bella's relationship. At one point, before we had opened the little handmade gifts we'd all made for each other, I accidentally eavesdropped on a conversation between Bella and her mother.

"I'm pretty sure that boy is in love with you, Isabella," Renee had spoken quietly to her daughter.

Bella rolled her eyes at her mother, but a smile played on her lips. "Perhaps so," she said, not admitting that we'd already exchanged the words.

"Well, he's a nice guy, honey," Renee told her. "And, gosh, he sure is a hottie."

"Renee!" Bella admonished. "Don't be like that, mom. Why don't you go find Phil?"

Renee shook her head and leaned close to Bella. "You've always had a beautiful aura, honey, but now, it's twice as bright."

Simply humming in response, Bella had gone back to work on opening a bottle of wine. But I didn't miss the grin that spread across her face. When we'd gathered to open our gifts, Bella and I discovered that we'd both had basically the same idea. She'd made me a key chain out of twine and leather and I'd created a bracelet for her out of the same materials. It was one of the best holidays I'd ever had.

New Year's with Bella had been a lot of fun. We'd watched the New York City fireworks show while Bella and her mom got toasted on champagne. Our midnight kiss had been the sweetest thing I'd ever tasted; and when I drove into her in the early hours of the morning, I knew I wanted to do this forever—have every holiday spent with my girl.

After our Christmas and New Year celebrations, Bella and I had flown back to meet the tour bus in Savannah. Bella had been really excited to visit Georgia, and had gone on and on about _Gone with the Wind_ on the plane. So, when we had reached Atlanta two days later, I'd made sure to rent us a separate car and take her to the little _Gone with the Wind_ museum in Marietta. I'd never seen her so enthralled. It was as if I had been watching her as a child, and it had been completely fascinating.

We had spent the next two and a half months zig-zagging our way across the bottom half of the United States: Montgomery, Birmingham, Mobile, Jackson, Baton Rouge, New Orleans, Shreveport, Little Rock, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Austin, Oklahoma City, Santa Fe, Albuquerque, Tucson, Phoenix, Las Vegas, and wrapping up in San Diego. Our name began to precede us, and crowds were lining up for a chance to see _our band_ perform.

Bella and I grew closer together over that time. Even the times that she had to go back to Seattle for meetings with Mr. Varner and I had to stay behind, we would spend hours texting and speaking on the phone. I felt as though I had been reliving some missed teenage years. Bella had been opening my eyes to a world I'd never experienced.

When we finally entered the city limits of Los Angeles in late March, Bella's knee had been bouncing in nervous anticipation. We had driven up the 405 and exited at Ventura Boulevard near the Sherman Oaks Galleria to head east toward the home I had once lived in. For many years, Carlisle and Esme owned a mansion atop the hillside of Mulholland Drive. It overlooked the San Fernando Valley with a magnificent view—especially at night when the Valley was all a-twinkle with city lights.

The house was beautiful. With three sides of the building made of floor-to-ceiling glass walls, the bright California sun shone into their home with warmth and perfection. Technically part of the city of Beverly Hills, Esme had made certain that the home would have all the attributes of a proper celebrity mansion and the privacy that such money afforded. The infinity pool was placed perfectly to either look down upon the Valley or up at the night stars, and the constant flow of water came from a beautiful waterfall sitting above the pool.

The gate that opened to a hidden entrance, then dropped down a steep drive, was perfect for escaping any curious onlookers or paparazzi. As the gate opened and we made our approach, Bella attempted to calm herself with a few big, deep breaths. I reached a hand out and threaded our fingers together.

"It'll be okay, love," I whispered soothingly against her ear. She had nothing to be worried about; Carlisle and Esme were some of the nicest people in the world. They'd been caring and loving toward me when I had been at my worst, and I knew they would love Bella as well. She squeezed my hand tightly as the car pulled to a stop and I opened the door. "Ready?" I asked.

With a deep breath, she nodded and slipped out of the open door. "Let's go."

"Edward! Edward!" A sing-song voice called to me as the large, mahogany door swung open and Esme came bounding out of the house, red hair floating in the wind. It still surprised me how easy she had passed for my biological mother all of these year. Though I had no genetic relation to her, Esme and I did look very much like mother and son.

I caught her up in my arms, hugging my little, adoptive mother close to me. It had been many months since they had seen me, and I knew they had missed me—they told me all the time; but I was surprised to find that I had actually missed them as well.

Carlisle strolled out of the house and reached his hand out to shake mine. "Hey, son," he greeted me with a light smile. That greeting might have bothered me six months ago, but now it rang in my ears with an air of finality. Maybe it was okay for me to belong here.

"I'd like you to meet someone," I said, reaching an arm back and pulling Bella to stand beside me. "Bella, this is Carlisle and Esme Cullen. Guys, this is Bella."

Esme's smile could have lit the entire San Fernando Valley with its magnificence. "_Your_ Bella?" she asked as tears glistened in her eyes. Bella understood the question as "You are Bella?" but I knew that Esme had asked if Bella was _mine_. Grinning crookedly, I nodded to Esme over my girl's head.

"Welcome, Bella," Carlisle said with a deep, welcoming voice, and I felt Bella relax beside me.

"Thank you both so much," my girl said with a smile. "Edward has spoken of how gracious you've both been."

"Well, we certainly love him a lot," Esme beamed. "Let's not stand in the driveway all day. Come inside! We've catered in from _Sisley_. We've got some Chicken and Goat Cheese Pasta and Italian Quesadillas."

My stomach rumbled at the thought of my favorite Californian restaurant. Grinning, I headed for the front door, tugging Bella along with me. Emmett and Jasper both greeted Esme and Carlisle before following us inside the mansion. They'd be staying with us since they didn't have family in town, and they'd already become like kids to Carlisle and Esme. Jake had stayed in a hotel in Hollywood, where Bella was supposed to have stayed if it hadn't been for my insistence that she stay with me. Jared and the rest of the crew had headed for a vacation in Vegas, and then were headed straight to Colorado, where we planned to meet them.

The entire house smelled of garlic and olive oil and deliciousness. I'd have to get Bella to create these dishes while we were on the tour bus. Esme had quickly pulled Bella away from the crowd, monopolizing her in the gigantic family room. "Girl talk," Esme had insisted when I'd raised a questioning eyebrow. If Bella was okay with it, then I was as well.

"So, Edward," Carlisle said, drawing my attention off of the back of Bella's head as all of the guys sat down at the large wooden table with our plates. "How's the tour going?"

The remainder of the evening was spent telling tales of our tour, until Bella's deep yawn brought Esme to tears with laughter in the other room. They'd been chatting for three, quick-passing hours.

"I'm so sorry, dear," my adoptive mother told Bella as they came into the dining room. "You must be exhausted. Edward, go show Bella to your room, honey."

While Em and Jas each bunkered down in guest rooms, I led Bella up the staircase to my old room. I kept having to reassure her that Carlisle and Esme didn't mind that we slept in the same bed—Esme had suggested it after all, and I was an adult. I held her close to me that night, humming _"Little Muse"_ in her ear as we drifted off to sleep.

**A/N:**

Thoughts? The big "L" was used! Woohoo!

We're so close to the end of Skylark and coming up fast on Chasing Sparrows! YAY!

**ON that note: Caged Skylark is Part 1 in what I'm calling the "Broken Wings Chronicles." ****_It's about to get angsty as hell._**** I don't want any meanness. This story is listed as ANGST/ROMANCE and is just that. I DO believe in HEA, so if you really love our Rockward and Writerella, then bear with their love story. **

GO read!

If you're bored while you wait for a CS update ( ;-P ) go read anything by lellabeth, 2amlovesick, or kekahj

... SERIOUSLY. Great writers!

follow me on Twitter ( QuinnSkylark)


	19. Californication

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Our Caged Skylark playlist (so far):**

-Opener (You Me and Apollo)

-Somebody Told Me (The Killers)

-A Pearl (You Me and Apollo)

-Bulletproof (The Goo Goo Dolls)

-Black Bird (The Beatles)

-15 Step (Radiohead)

-Amigone (The Goo Goo Dolls)

-Closing Time (Semisonic)

-Raise Your Glass (P!nk)

-Smile Like You Mean It (The Killers)

-Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Pat Benetar)

-Chasing Pavements (Adele)

-Give Me Everything (Pitbull, Ne-Yo, etc...)

-All My Life (Foo Fighters)

-White Sky (Vampire Weekend)

-Everlong (Foo Fighters)

-More Than A Feeling (Boston)

-Come On (West Water Outlaws)

-Californication (Red Hot Chili Peppers)

**Thank you for all of the reviews! They're so appreciated!**

**I'd like to thank my wonderful betas, hammondgirl and starpower31, and my pre reader, 2loveybunnies. I love them all to pieces!**

The song for this chapter is "Californication" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Enjoy!

_**I am donating an O/S to the Fandom for Oklahoma benefit. You'll WANT to read it. Believe me. Benny and Tom and wedding bells, anyone?! GO DONATE! **_

"Californication"

(Red Hot Chili Peppers)

BPOV

_Malibu, California_

The surf lapped along Zuma Beach, lulling me into a blissfully peaceful state. The sun warmed my body in spite of the mild mid-March air. This was my fourth day of lying out on the beach beside Edward. I had forgotten how necessary and wonderful time off could be.

"You look like you need some more oil on your chest, love." Rolling my head to the side, I lowered my sunglasses and looked intently at Edward with a raised eyebrow. Resting on his elbow, he lifted his hand to trail a finger between my sun-kissed cleavage revealed. I loved how he had always managed to find a way to touch me intimately. Thanks to all the days spent out there tanning in my vintage bikini top, my skin had taken on a golden hue and was beginning to lightly freckle.

Smirking, I caught his hand and brought his finger up to my lips. "I think you just want to grope me, Edward Cullen," I said against his finger before slipping it past my lips and sucking on it lightly. His skin tasted of the salty sea, the minerals of the sand, and the coconut oil he'd rubbed into my skin. From behind his aviator sunglasses, Edward's eyebrows raised at the sensation as the front of his blue board shorts began to tent out from his erection. "Be careful," I warned him playfully, reaching a hand down to squeeze him through his shorts. "This is a family beach."

Quickly, Edward's eyes darted all over the beach. There were a few people here and there, but no one around that would really care if the two of us did a bit of rolling in the sand. Delivering one of his signature crooked grins, Edward pulled me off my back so that I was straddling his waist. His fingers moved from my waist, over my curved hips, until they drew small circles on my thighs. The feel of his skin against mine was causing heat to flood through my veins, yet goose bumps still broke out over my flesh.

"You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?" he asked me softly, slipping a finger underneath the elastic edge of my bathing suit and skimming over my ass before heading back to the front. A guttural moan escaped my throat as Edward inched closer to where I really wanted—needed—him to be.

I slipped his aviators off his nose and threw them onto my abandoned towel. "Why don't you remind me again?" I asked as I brought my lips to his. Our kiss was hungry and passionate, filled with longing for one another.

He tore his lips from mine and kissed a trail toward my ear. With the hand that was on my thigh, Edward pushed his long fingers further beneath my swimming suit until he reached my heated center. One finger brushed back and forth over me, sliding through my wet flesh before slipping inside of me. His other hand gripped my hip and pressed my ass down against his hardened cock. The angle was slightly awkward, but to any onlooker, we were just a couple making out on the beach.

"Fuck," Edward groaned against the skin under my ear as I swiveled my hips on his fingers and his erection. "You're so damn wet, beautiful."

My moan would have been embarrassingly loud if it hadn't been lifted with the ocean breeze and carried out to sea. "You make me wet, Eddie."

Lifting his hand, Edward cupped my sex, pressing his palm against my aching clit and another finger into me. His lips sucked and played with my skin until I was writhing in his arms, head thrown back in pleasure. When his palm pressed harder against my little nub, my climax was strong and sudden, causing my limbs to tremble at the force of my pleasure.

After I'd come down from the floaty, post-orgasmic high, Edward kissed along my collarbone, gently whispering words of adoration against my skin. He was still hard beneath me, but there was little that could be done about it on a public beach.

"Sorry, Eddie," I said with a little giggle. "I don't think that I'll be able to help you out of this one."

Chuckling, Edward nipped at my skin before a wicked grin overtook his features. "Oh, yes you can, love." I shot an eyebrow up at his statement, confused over how I'd be able to help.

"If you think I'm going down on you here, then yo—" I couldn't finish my sentence because Edward suddenly stood up, still holding me in his arms, and ran as fast as he could toward the ocean. When he dove under the surf with me, the water rushed over us in a freezing gush, bombarding my nose and mouth and ears. I managed to push away from him so he wouldn't be able to hold me under. When I resurfaced, sputtering and coughing out the salty water, he stood before me with water cascading down his sculpted body. His nipples were hard from the chill, and his slightly too long—but pull worthy—hair was plastered to his scalp with water dropping like tears from the strands.

"God fucking dammit, Edward Cullen!" I screamed at him. I'd been having such a good hair day, too. His only response was a deep, throaty chuckle. Reaching his hand to assist me to the shore, I pretended to accept the help but at the last second I moved my hand through the water and sent a splash directly into his face. Laughter bubbled out of me at the fun we were having.

Edward stood statue-still when the water hit him. Pausing in my laughter, I studied him carefully, worried that I had upset him. My fear was quickly squashed, though, when his eyes flew open. Like a predator, he stalked toward me until my feet could no longer touch the rocky, sandy surface below.

"Isabella Marie Swan..." His voice rumbled, sending tremors through me. "You want a war? You've got it!" Then, he dove through the water, gripping my legs and pulling me back under the crashing waves.

Our banter was flirty and adorable, if I did say so myself, and we remained in the water until our shivering bodies could take no more. When we finally ran back through the sand to our towels and tumbled on top of each other, we'd been filled with laughter and smiles. At that moment, at least, we were at peace. I couldn't see it then, but the bubble was slowly shrinking around us.

cS-Cs

The album release party three days later had been amazing. Held at the _Fonda Theater_ in Hollywood, the venue had been perfect for such a bash. _Axing Questions_ performed live for the opening of the event, and people mingled about, drinking the proffered liquor from the open bar and noshing on an array of hors d'oeuvres.

The cocktails flowed as the part ensued, and Jake made certain to shoot a lot of photos of the guests and the band for my blog. He'd been slowly getting over his initial anger toward me, and was opening up the doors of friendship once again. It had surely helped that I'd been going out of my way to spend time with him recently. Edward hadn't been very enthusiastic when I had told him that I needed to spend some time with Jake to discuss business and smooth things over with him. He had surrendered, but only when I had promised that he could meet me as soon as Jake and I were done talking about work. Alas, the two most important men in my life on the road—though one was _strictly business _and the other was also for my personal pleasure—hated each other. It was as though they had been born natural enemies, and I knew they had only tolerated each other for my sake.

"Bells," Jake called as he walked toward me. He hadn't called me that in a long, long time. Smiling up at him, I offered up a glass of tequila on the rocks, which I had procured for him a few minutes before. He allowed his camera to rest on his neck and accepted the drink with a grin. "Thanks, beautiful."

Though my smile faltered at his endearment, I pushed it aside and reminded myself that this was Jake, after all. It was no secret that he still had feelings for me. While he was no longer behaving like a caveman, Jake had made a constant effort to remind Edward that he was still waiting in the wings for me. All that mattered was that I didn't lead him on—which, of course, I hadn't done...recently.

For the rest of the evening, I pushed those worries out of my mind and attempted to enjoy myself. Edward had been so good throughout the party, only sipping one beer, and I don't think he even finished it. Every once in a while, Edward would catch my eye from across the room and shoot a wink my way.

I thought about how much he'd changed in the last few months. Edward had seemed to transfer the energy he'd formerly spent in hating the world into writing and playing songs. Well, he'd been doing that before as well, but something was different now. Slowly, it had been dawning on me that _I _was that missing puzzle piece. That revelation was a bit daunting and intimidating. I could only hope that he wasn't relying on me to be the only support in his life. Human fallibility is too real to fully depend on another person.

It was announced that not only had _"La Belle"_ worked its way up to number thirty-four on _Billboard's Hot 100_, but another one of their songs, _"Over Ripe Thorns," _had received a placement in an upcoming television show. The band had received an upfront sync fee and would forever collect royalties from the placement. The industry was really proving itself for _Midnight Sun_, and I couldn't have been happier for them.

Edward and I didn't really have a chance to speak to each other throughout the party since he needed to mingle, and I was busy doing mini-interviews with some of the guests. Even when the party began to wind down, he still seemed a bit elusive and worn-out. It was a sudden change from his over-enthusiastic winks from earlier and, frankly, it worried me a little bit.

Later that night, when Edward had asked if I'd like to ride him into the mattress, I regretfully informed him that my favorite monthly visitor had arrived. Even though he'd told me he didn't mind the blood, I refused to give in. Bloody sex wasn't exactly my cup of tea; not since James had told me how disgusting it was. I did, however, offer a magnificent blow-job in place of the reverse-cowgirl position that I knew he'd been imagining. He had, after all, told me dozens of times how much he loved the wonderful things that my tongue could do.

After allowing him to plunge into my willing mouth, Edward had pulled out and then flipped me onto my back to straddle my waist. He grabbed hold of my boobs and thrust his cock between them until he came all over my neck and chest. While completely hot and steamy—I was rubbing my thighs together, wishing that my damned period would just go away—it had felt like a claiming. He hadn't been that rough with me since...well, ever.

When we fell asleep shortly after he'd cleaned me up, I wondered if my sexy man was doing all right. Something seemed a little off, but I couldn't yet put my finger on it, and I didn't want to upset him by asking.

cS-Cs

EPOV

_Fuck._ I'd been blissfully unmindful of the fact that we'd be stopping in Chicago during the next leg of the tour; that was until Jenks not so graciously reminded me of it during the album release party. It hadn't even been a gentle, "Remember that you're going to be stopping in Chicago soon," or even the uncensored, "By the way, you have two months to prepare yourself to go back to the city where your parents were brutally murdered." No, it had just been blunt and to the point.

"Chicago in June," he'd said before turning around to mingle with some fucking record executive from Sony. I had known by the way my stomach clenched in fear and pain that I'd be in for a world of hurt whenever we got to that point.

My eyes had immediately sought out my girl's, but of course, she'd been handing off a drink to that giant jackass, Black. _Could the night get any shittier?_ All I had wanted to do was enjoy the party, make sure I'd done my duty to the label, and take Bella home and fuck her against the wall where my Led Zeppelin poster was hanging.

Well, apparently it _could_ get shittier—Bella's goddamn period had started and she refused to allow me to make love to her. At least she hadn't been the way she was last month; then, she hadn't even let me touch her. When she laid on the bed before me and let me fuck her sexy mouth, I knew that I wanted to take more from her—I needed more. So, I flipped her on her back and fucked those perfect titties until I blew my load all over the front of her. It had been one of the sexiest things I'd ever seen: my girl with my come dripping down her skin. I wanted to let the whole world know that she was mine.

I cleaned her up with one of Esme's fancy washcloths, which would have gotten me into deep trouble ten years earlier if I had ruined a towel with jizz. With a shrug, I had tossed it aside and curled under the sheets with my already half-asleep girl.

cS-Cs

"Oh, my _God_, Eddie," Bella moaned around a mouthful of Korean glass noodles. My cock stirred at the sight of her eyelids fluttering in pleasure. "This is _so _good."

"Jesus, Bella," I said with a groan. "Do you mind not climaxing from the food, please? It's a little hard to take... _Literally_."

Her eyes twinkled in mischief. "Oh? It's a _little hard_, is it?

I clenched my jaw and nodded sharply. _Seriously._ She still had her fucking period and there wasn't much I could do at the moment. Instead of getting some relief, I decided to do the next best thing to a cold shower—or a cold dip in the ocean, for that matter—and grabbed my girl's hand as we made our way around the Topanga Mall on a little shopping spree.

Of course, my Bella nearly bought out the entire store at Forever 21, and, though I insisted, she refused to allow me to pay for the purchase. Hopefully, in the future, she'd allow me to buy her nice things.

When we returned to the house, I quickly changed into my board shorts and headed straight for the pool. I'd needed to get a few laps in to work the sexual tension out of my muscles. Bella had changed into her sexy-as-fuck bikini and grabbed her laptop to do some writing on the lounge chair while I swam.

Every time I would come up for a breath, I would notice her brow furrowed in concentration over her work. I didn't know what she had to be concerned about. I'd read her blogs about us; I was even following them—they would pop up in my email every week. My girl was very talented.

And beautiful.

So beautiful.

_Fuck. _

I swam my next lap harder than the last, hoping to get my mind off of those long, suntanned legs and hot pink toenails that looked completely suckable.

cS-Cs

It's amazing how quickly a three-week long vacation can pass. Though we'd taken the tour bus to L.A., Danny had driven back east before we had finished with our trip. By the time we'd waved goodbye to Los Angeles and flown into Denver, I had been wondering how mid-April had arrived so quickly. Bella and I had been together for six months, and that alone shocked my system. This was certainly the longest relationship I'd ever been in, which isn't saying much for a lot of people, but it was quite the accomplishment for me.

Things had been going pretty spectacularly for us. We rarely argued—when we did, it was usually about Black—and she had me feeling pretty damn good. The only thing still looming over me was that goddamn stop in Chicago. But, for now, I focused my attention on Denver.

The Rocky Mountains were magnificent. We had stopped in the Centennial State for three nights of shows, beginning up in Boulder and working our way down to the Mile High City for two more gigs. _Axing Questions_ was originally from Golden, Colorado, so they had made certain to schedule extra appearances for their home state. Not that I had minded at all. This state was the perfect place to take a deep breath of fresh air before we headed toward Chicago. Denver was beautiful and clean, and the crowds had been more pumped than any others that we had played for.

The best part of the trip had been when I sang the National Anthem at Coors Field. The entertainment coordinator for the Colorado Rockies had heard we'd be in town and had called up Jenks to ask if I'd have time for it. Funny enough, the Rockies were playing the Seattle Mariners that day, and Bella had insisted that we stay for the whole game.

Our seats behind home plate had been spectacular. My girl and I each enjoyed one of those delicious, twisty Tornadough pretzels—mine with parmesan and hers with cinnamon. Bella had insisted on having a Blue Moon, since it was brewed locally in Colorado, but I chose to stick with a freshly squeezed lemonade.

Though the Mariners had been beaten into the dirt by the Rockies, losing 9-1, Bella and I found ourselves relaxing and enjoying the sun setting over the purple mountains and the wispy gray clouds floating over the stadium. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted these moments to last forever.

My song writing had really been blossoming in the recent months. Whenever Bella was around, my mind simply reverted to poetry and the words just bloomed.

I'd been coming to rely more and more on her for that piece of _inspiration_ that I had been missing in my life. We never talked about my family; it was more of _something_ that existed in the past that we'd chosen to ignore. And, after that night at her apartment in Seattle, we didn't broach the subject of _her_ past either. Instead, we'd existed in rapturous naivety, desperately hoping that we could always live in the here-and-now and never need to worry about the past catching up with us.

Unfortunately for me, that meant dealing with the fact that Chicago had been looming ever more dauntingly over my head...alone. Bella hadn't had any idea how I'd been feeling about it; how could she have? I'd been pretending that nothing in the world was bothering me, because I refused to upset Bella and scare her off. After all, if I ever lost her, I would be eternally destroyed. That was something I couldn't let happen. I didn't want to be lost again; not after she had found me.

**A/N:**

Thoughts?

We're so close to the end of Skylark and coming up fast on Chasing Sparrows! YAY!

**ON that note: Caged Skylark is Part 1 in what I'm calling the "Broken Wings Chronicles." ****_It's about to get angsty as hell._**** I don't want any meanness. This story is listed as ANGST/ROMANCE and is just that. I DO believe in HEA, so if you really love our Rockward and Writerella, then bear with their love story.**

GO read!

If you're bored while you wait for a CS update ( ;-P ) go read "Dear Bella" by lellabeth, "Heirs & Heirlooms" by 2amlovesick, or "Good Enough" by kekahj.

... SERIOUSLY. Great writers!

follow me on Twitter ( QuinnSkylark)

_**I am donating an O/S to the Fandom for Oklahoma benefit. You'll WANT to read it. Believe me. Benny and Tom and wedding bells, anyone?! GO DONATE! **_


	20. Sweet Devil Whiskey

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Thank you for all of the reviews! They're so appreciated!**

**I'd like to thank my wonderful betas, hammondgirl and starpower31, and my pre reader, 2loveybunnies. I love them all to pieces!**

I'm testing out putting the playlist at the bottom of the page this week. Not sure if I like it, but we'll see. :-)

The song for this chapter is "Sweet Devil Whiskey" by the Bonnie and the Beard. They're an awesome band. Check them out! Enjoy!

_**I am donating an O/S to the Fandom for Oklahoma benefit. You'll WANT to read it. Believe me. Benny and Tom and wedding bells, anyone?! Also! Skylark is going to leave some things left open. You'll WANT TO READ THIS OUTTAKE! GO DONATE!**_

**_2 more chapters left! Chasing Sparrows, the sequel, will begin updates within 2-3 weeks from the end of Skylark! _**

"Sweet Devil Whiskey"

(Bonnie and the Beard)

"I can't tell you what it is I see, Sweet old Devil whiskey has really got ahold of me..."

EPOV

_Kansas City, Missouri_

"Are you ready to rock, KC?" Bear's booming voice echoed through the venue. "_I_ _can't hear you_!" the city's favorite rock-n-roll morning radio show host yelled. The crowd screamed louder, until the entire platform was rumbling under our feet. The outdoor theater was the perfect place to get this party started.

"I want you all to welcome the next band to the stage. They're sitting at number twenty-three on the _Billboard Hot 100_ right now, and they played three of their hit singles live on the show this morning! Maybe you've heard of them?" Louder, the crowd crescendoed in euphoria.

Quickly, he lowered his voice, leaning toward the audience, and hid his mouth from those of us backstage. "You'd better give that drummer the best welcome in the history of the _Starlight Theater_. He looks a hell of a lot like yours truly." The crowd guffawed at Bear's remarks, but he insisted. "Don't believe me? Well, let's get them out here then! Ladies and gents of Kansas City, welcome _Mid. Night. Sun_!"

Emmett slipped from behind the curtain to his drum set and began to pound out a great beat. Jasper walked out with his bass and picked up on the rhythm that Em played. The crowd screamed at the top of their lungs, and I finally made my way to center stage.

I sang my heart out, hoping to convince Bella—and myself—that everything was fine. She had asked me if something was the matter last night, and I'd just denied any issue and proceeded to distract her with my wicked tongue.

Chicago had been weighing heavily on my mind for the past two months, but I had finally been feeling that I was coming to grips with the situation. It wasn't as though I could change it anyway; I'd agreed to this tour, and it was too good of an opportunity to pass up.

I knew that Bella had noticed I had been sidetracked lately. Where we'd once sat close together whenever we worked on our mutual writing, Bella now sat in one of the swiveling recliners and I sat at the table. She didn't say anything or complain, but she had been watching me more closely. I'd chalked it up to us beginning to get comfortable in our relationship.

The throng of people cheering us on drew me back to our set. Kansas City sure as hell loved us, and, for the fans, I pushed all thoughts of Bella, us, and Chicago out of my mind for the remainder of our playlist.

Just as we finished our set, thunder rumbled in the distance. I had hoped that it would stay at bay long enough for _Axing Questions _to get through their show.

"Thank you, Kansas City!" I yelled into the microphone with an enthusiasm I didn't quite feel. "You've been awesome! Now, let's see if we can get _Axing Questions _up here before that storm rolls in." The crowd went wild with approval. I'd have to come back here sometime and play for them when my heart was really into it.

When I reached Bella backstage, she, Bear, and Jake were sitting by a table that housed all kinds of goodies. She was munching on a gigantic chocolate chip cookie and laughing at some shit that Bear had said. _Didn't she watch my show? _

Black had begun to reach out and touch her hand. The gesture had looked innocent enough—there must have been crumbs on her skin or something—but I wasn't letting that oversized ape touch my girl.

"Bella!" I said a little too harshly and definitely too loudly. She jumped slightly and spun around in her blue plastic chair.

"How was the show, Eddie?" Bella asked with a grin as she stood and walked to me. I immediately pulled her into my arms and hugged her tightly to me. Shooting the two guys a threatening glare, I squeezed my girl tighter.

A gorgeous blonde and Bear's equally beautiful brunette co-host and wife came out from behind a stage door and caught Bear's attention. He held up a finger letting them know that he'd be a minute more, and then walked over to us. I released Bella when he arrived.

"Cullen," Bear said with a huge, dimply grin. He stuck out a hand and I took it hesitantly. "You guys were awesome. Make sure to give us a heads up next time you're heading to KC. We'd love to have you guys on the show again."

My temper was cooling slightly as I shook his hand. "Thanks, Bear," I told him. "We'll be sure to keep you in the loop." He grinned before dipping to give Bella a quick kiss on the cheek—which of course caused me to want to rip his head off—and then walked back to meet the two women.

Before Black had a chance to stop her, I grabbed Bella's hand and pulled her along with me.

The rain dripped down my face, plastering my shirt to my skin, as we ran toward the bus. Bella's long, wavy hair hung wet and heavy down her back. We reached the bus just as loud thunder boomed around us. A thrill rushed through me at the thought of the danger of being outside during the storm and the idea of what I'd like to do to my girl during it. I couldn't stand when other men touched her. I wanted to—needed to–claim her now.

When Bella reached for the handle of the door, I stopped her, pulling her back and pressing her against the side of the bus. She shrieked as the cold metal came into contact with her back.

"Edward Cullen!" she giggle-screamed at me. "What do you think you're doing?"

Instead of answering, I offered a wicked smile and glanced around quickly to make sure that we were alone. Thank god we always parked in a secluded area. When I was certain we hadn't been followed and that no one would be making a surprise appearance, I lifted her white tank-top until it exposed her white lace bra. I tugged the cups of the bra down to expose her rosy nipples, hardened from the cold and the rain. My eyes watched Bella's face when I closed my lips around her nipple. Her eyelids were fluttering and she reached a hand into my hair, holding me in place against her breast.

I suckled at her tit until a burst of lightening lit up the sky around us. I tore my mouth from her flesh and looked up at the stormy sky. Just as I was about to suggest that we get into the bus, Bella launched herself at me, attaching her mouth to mine in a desperate frenzy of lips and tongue. I tried to pull away and calm her so that we could get into the safety of the bus, but she refused to release me.

Her hands snaked down and she began to quickly release the buttons of my jeans, tugging them and my boxers down to my knees. She pushed me down to the grass until I was sprawled on my back with my knees raised and feet planted firmly on the ground for leverage, and she put one foot on either side of my waist. When Bella lifted the hem of her green dress and slipped her panties to the side with her finger, my cock began to throb and twitch. Bella was the sexiest fucking thing I'd ever laid eyes on.

After I had slipped a condom quickly on, she squatted down over me, holding tight to her lace underwear so they wouldn't be in her way, and enveloped my cock into her tight heat. She rode me like that, there in the wet grass, as she leaned back against my thighs. The crouched position she was in opened her perfectly to my view, and I watched my cock disappear inside of her body over and over as she lifted herself up and down over me.

I didn't think I could take anymore, so I splayed my hand over her stomach and reached my thumb down to rub circles over her swollen clit. When Bella came apart from my touch, arching back over me with her head thrown back on my knees, I released my own pleasure.

We both remained there, catching our breaths. A sudden bright bolt of lightening flashed, striking a tree several hundred yards away from us and splitting it in half. Bella screamed and jumped off of me, rushing toward the bus. I scrambled to my feet and followed quickly after her, pulling my pants up as I went.

Inside the safety of the bus, Bella pushed me up against the bathroom door and started right where we had left off, kissing and sucking on my top lip. Though it had only been couple of minutes since I'd come, my cock twitched to life once again. Bella had never been quite so aggressive with me, but I sure as hell wasn't going to complain.

She reached behind me and turned the handle of the door until it opened and we slipped into the bathroom. Once inside, Bella made quick work of shedding her clothing and then helped me peel the wet jeans and T-shirt from my body. Both of us were shivering from the cold when we finally stepped into the shower, and I turned the water to an almost scalding hot. Bella's lips met mine under the spray of the shower, moving urgently against me, all tongue and wetness.

When she reached for my erection, I pushed her hand out of the way and dropped to my knees before her. She knew what I wanted and spread her legs wide. I brought my mouth to her warm lower lips and kissed her with all that I had in me; all the fears of Chicago, all the pain of my past, all the hope for the future, and all of my love.

Bella climaxed with a scream that rivaled the cracking thunder outside. As she rode out the waves of her orgasm and pushed herself firmly against my mouth and chin, I fisted my cock with quick, strong pulls until I came in spurts against the shower wall.

When I looked up at her face with sleepy eyes, I smiled and rested my cheek on her stomach. "I love you, Isabella."

She pushed her fingers through my hair and tickled down my neck and over my shoulder. "I love you too, Edward."

cS-Cs

I don't think that touring during spring on the Great Plains had been a very brilliant idea. When a God-awful cold passed from Bella, to Emmett, to Jasper, it hadn't been a big deal; the guys could still play their instruments with a cold. But when I had caught that dripping-nose-and-puffy-faced nastiness, I knew we were screwed. It was more than a little difficult to throw a concert when the lead singer was sick.

Fucking my girl in the rain probably hadn't helped. But, I just hadn't been able to resist her.

When _Axing Questions' _frontman Axl—yes, named for Axl Rose—popped into our bus looking about as shitty as I had been feeling, I knew that I had totally lucked out. The next concert had been promptly cancelled. Chicago could kiss my ass. I was home-free.

My mood lightened over the next couple of weeks, despite the fact that I'd been fighting the head cold from hell. Bella had been diligently nursing me back to health, and I was very happy when my pipes started to return to their normal strength. We practiced for several hours a day to get back on track for the shows in Lincoln, Cheyenne, Minneapolis, and other parts of the Midwest.

cS-Cs

"Are you fucking kidding?" If I'd thought before that I could handle the idea of going back to Chicago, I now knew how terribly wrong I had been. After coming to grips with going back to my hometown and then end up not having to deal with it, I didn't know if I could handle a second round of this.

I'd been out for drinks with Axl while Bella and Black had one of their dinner meetings, when he casually mentioned a September 3rd show in Chicago. It had been difficult enough to process the idea of going back to that city during the summertime, but now they'd scheduled a show less than a week before the anniversary of my parents' death. After almost choking on my beer, I had quickly found an excuse to leave the bar and call up Jenks.

"I'm sorry, Edward," Jenks apologized over the phone. "The promoter decided that they didn't want to refund all those tickets and would rather just make-up Chicago show at the end of the tour. You know, you really need to..."

I had stopped listening to him, and just placed the phone beside me on the seat of the sound truck that I'd driven that night. What the fuck had happened to the progress I'd been making? I felt like the walls were beginning to crumble around me.

I needed my girl.

Starting the truck, I pulled up on to the main road, eager to get to Bella. As I worked my way through the city toward my love, I was surprised to realize that Kansas City was a pretty big place. When you've lived in some of the biggest cities in America, it's easy to forget that the world exists in these towns as well.

The light in front of me turned red and I slowed to a stop, waiting very impatiently to get out of here—and into Bella—where I could clear my head and forget all about Chicago. A flashing light caught my peripheral vision, and I turned toward its source. Twenty yards away sat a liquor store with a huge sign advertising the Jack Daniel's whiskey it sold. My fingers gripped the steering wheel tighter, holding on for dear life, until my knuckles turned white.

I hadn't had hard liquor in months, not since I'd started taking my meds, but right now felt like the perfect excuse.

_No._ No, I needed to get back to the bus—back to my Bella.

_Shit._ It dawned on me then that this was her night to have a business dinner with Black. That fucking prick was such a pain in my ass all the time, and now he had taken my girl from me when I'd needed her most.

My body reacted before my mind had a chance to register what we were doing. I pulled into the parking lot and put the truck in park before I jumped out and walked into the liquor store. When the cashier swiped my card for the purchase, I tried desperately to calm my hammering heart.

When I'd made it back to the tour bus two hours later, after driving around aimlessly, debating whether or not I should just throw the liquor out the window, I parked the truck and stared at the brown bag covered bottle.

There were no lights on in the bus, and I knew that Em and Jas had each gotten a hotel room for the night so that Bella and I could have the place to ourselves, but I wondered if she was even back yet. I glanced at my watch and decided she had to be—she'd better be there—since it was after midnight. If she was still with Black, I was going to go find them and rip his fucking face off.

Again, my body began to react without filtering decisions through my brain. The bottle was suddenly in my hand with the top unscrewed, and the mouth pressed to my lips. I could feel the burn in my nose as the sharp scent of the whiskey scorched my nostrils.

The first swig of the liquor had burned more than I remembered. It felt like a branding iron slipping down my esophagus and blistering into my stomach. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut until I felt the alcohol begin to soak into my bloodstream. It had been far too long, but I took four more shots worth of the whiskey before I finally screwed the cap back on and shoved it far underneath the seat. My head had begun to spin a little—the result of drinking too much after not drinking for so long.

I remained in the truck another twenty minutes, just allowing all the alcohol to seep into my veins and send waves of numbness to my brain. When I finally got out of the truck and stepped onto the bus, I was happy to see that the door to our room was open and Bella was lying on her stomach, sleeping.

Thank God. I needed her so badly.

Stumbling, I made my way to the back of the bus, shedding my _Stone Temple Pilots_ T-shirt, Converse, and socks as I went. She still hadn't awoken when I'd made it into the room, but I would fix that soon enough. Quickly, I unbuttoned my jeans and yanked the denim and my boxers down to my ankles and off my feet. My hard cock twitched at the sight of her, laying on her belly with my _Journey_ tee riding up her smooth back and exposing her naked ass and thighs. _Fuck yeah. _This was better than lingerie.

I brought my hand to my mouth, gathering as much saliva as I could before gently spreading her thighs with my knees and bringing my wet fingertips into contact with her soft pussy. Her body immediately responded, even before she'd fully roused from her sleep. When her hips began to gyrate against my hand as I worked her up, I knew she was ready.

Pulling my hand back, I rubbed the mixture of my spit and her arousal over my smooth cock. _Fuck. _It felt so good. I couldn't wait another moment to be inside of her.

"Eddie?" Bella moaned as I positioned my tip at her entrance. She moaned as I began to slip past her dripping lips. _Holy fucking shit. _It had never felt this good before. Maybe it was the liquor, but something was definitely better about this time. She was so much warmer, smoother, tighter, and wetter than ever before.

"Bella, I fucking love you so much, baby," I groaned against the back of her neck as I thrust deeply into her. I realized I had slipped and said that word she had hated so much, but my alcohol-hazed brain wasn't really paying attention to those details, and Bella didn't say anything about the endearment anyway.

Instead of commenting or condemning me for my slip-up, Bella pushed herself onto her knees even as I continued to pound into her from behind, and started to press back against me.

"God, Eddie," she whispered with a voice husky from both sleep and arousal. "You fuck my pussy so good."

My heart began to pound harder at her sultry words. She'd never talked like that before. Sleepy Bella was horny Bella; I could work with this. I pulled out of her until only the very tip of my cock was in her pussy, then slammed back against her. She cried out in a mixture of pain and pleasure and her walls began to tighten around me. My girl was the hottest fucking thing I'd ever seen in my life.

All it took was a flick of my finger over her clit and she began to convulse around me. I knew I couldn't hold on for long as her pussy began to milk my cock, begging for my own climax. Finally, I surrendered, spilling inside of her with jerky thrusts of my hips until we collapsed on the bed. My vision was blurry from exhaustion and the whiskey when I eventually slipped out and rolled onto my back beside her.

"Eddie?" her voice sounded concerned as it pounded in my ears, and I grabbed my pillow and put it over my face to muffle the sound. "Edward?" I heard again, though it was a bit higher pitched and seemed worried this time, but I'd already surrendered to the arms of sleep.

cS-Cs

BPOV

_Dammit._ For some reason the words had not been flowing well in the last month or so since we had left Los Angeles. Every time I sat down to write an article, my fingers would freeze up above the keys and I would end up staring at the computer screen for an hour without progress.

When I had first started my internship under James, he'd told me, "If you find a distraction, purge it. Your writing comes first." Amazingly, that was one of the only helpful things he'd ever said to me, and it was a rule that I had lived by...until now. I knew exactly what my distraction was, I just wasn't sure that I wanted to purge it this time.

Edward.

Speaking of which, he had been writing almost non-stop. His music was flowing, pouring from his pen like a river. The only change was that in the last month, he hadn't been as open with his lyrics as he'd been before. Every time he sat down to write, I'd held my breath, hoping that he would share, but that was never the case. Instead, he would be sucked into his writing bubble while I looked on with envy. That used to be me.

It wasn't his fault that I was struggling, it was my own.

"Love?" Edward's beautiful voice interrupted my musing. I glanced up from my laptop to see him standing before me with a soft smile. I lifted the corners of my lips, hoping my spirits would lift with them. Something was just off in the universe. My mojo had been screwy, and I think a part of it was due to the fact that Edward and I seemed to have been unconsciously building a wall between us.

Sure, we'd still been wonderfully intimate, enjoying a blissful sex life—each taking what we had needed from the other; but we had been talking less and less, substituting the words with moans of ecstasy. That would have been great in the beginning, back when we had just been having a fling and everything was based on sex. Now, however, we'd learned about each other—we loved each other—and the way we had been slipping back felt like falling into a pit of quicksand.

Maybe it was the time Jake and I had been spending together? I didn't want to blame it on that, but it was something. Or perhaps I'd just been in denial about my fears as he pulled away from me; after all, James had done the same thing.

"Axl asked me to go have a drink with him, so I'll be gone for a couple of hours," Edward said. Since we'd been together, Edward had devoted anytime not sleeping, eating, or practicing, to me. I'd been happy that he had been getting along well with _Axing Questions'_ lead singer and that he'd been able to have some guy time with him, Em, and Jasper.

"Have fun, Eddie," I told him sincerely. Gosh, I had really hoped that he would be able to let off some steam, and maybe—just maybe—he'd come back to me and this wall would have crumbled. "I'm just going to be here writing. My blog entry is due tonight."

Tossing me a wink, Edward stepped over and placed a soft kiss against my lips. Sometimes, he could be so utterly soft and sweet, and other times he was aggressive and assertive.

"I hope you get a lot done," he murmured against my mouth.

I smiled up at him but then remembered that those weren't my only plans for the night. "I forgot that Jake and I have a business dinner meeting tonight. Crap," I told him with a hint of frustration in my voice. Edward pulled back enough to look at my face. His eyes had become the steely cool of many months ago—the ones that reminded me that sometimes we weren't all that far from the contempt we'd once held.

"How long will you be?" he asked in a voice filled with annoyance, though he feigned neutrality.

I centered my own firm gaze on him and added a touch of threat to my intonation. "I probably won't be back to the bus until at least eleven tonight. We have a lot to discuss about the final leg of the tour." Though his jaw flexed with the strain of holding his tongue about Jacob, Edward's eyes softened. "That reminds me that you and I need to discuss what's going to happen after the tour as well," I told him.

"There's not really much to discuss," he said with a shrug. "I'm moving to Seattle and we're upgrading from that tiny loft."

My heart rate began to pound suddenly. This was exactly what I had been hoping that he would say. While we had been on the bus, we'd been living together for all intents and purposes, for the past nine months. Obviously, moving in officially was just the next natural step in the progression of our relationship. Something inside of me, however, told me that there was a piece of this equation missing. I'd been trying to picture us picking out a new apartment—even a house—and usually I was very good at visualizing the future like this, but nothing would come to me this time. I shrugged it off and chalked it up to my own fears.

"I love you, Bella Swan," Edward said as he turned to leave the bus.

"Love you, too, Eddie," I called after him, but he'd already stepped out the door.

With a huff, I turned back to my blog, typing out the final 500 words in frustration. The clicking of the keys was the only thing keeping me sane. I wasn't really sure what was wrong with me; I loved Edward deeply, after all. He'd been the sunshine in my life, and I knew that I had been the same for him. I only worried that perhaps we'd come to rely too much on one another.

cS-Cs

"God," Jake sighed. "I can't wait to be done with this tour and get back to Seattle."

I looked up from my glass of wine and studied his features. "Aren't you enjoying being on the road?" I asked quizzically. "Life with a rock band is kind of fun, don't you think?"

He snorted and slung back the rest of his tequila. "Yeah, it's such a fucking blast," he said sarcastically.

"Well, what are you going to do in Seattle? Same thing as you're doing now, but in a sedentary location?" I wondered curiously.

Jacob looked up at me with a twinkle in his dark eyes. "Jesus, you're such a writer with those big words," he teased. In fact, I'd been working with Jake on his own writing during these little business dinners, and he was a pretty decent writer himself.

I rolled my eyes at him, but a smile played on my lips.

"Actually," he told me in sudden seriousness, "Mr. Varner told me that they have a staff-writer position waiting for me when we get back."

My brow furrowed in confusion. It had taken me years to become a featured writer, and here they were, eagerly handing the job to Jacob on a silver platter? This had only served to further confirm my worries about my career and the amount of distraction I'd allowed into my life.

"You're going to be on staff already?" I questioned softly, trying to hide the offended tone of my voice.

Jake shrugged and grinned widely. "I've been submitting some freelance work to Mr. Varner for a few months, and he seems to be really impressed with it."

God, I suddenly felt like James must have—which was completely silly. I felt like my career was suddenly being threatened by my own protégé. It felt like the rug was being pulled out from underneath my feet.

"Do you know what they want you to write about yet?" I asked, praying that it wasn't in the Arts and Entertainment arena.

Thankfully, it wasn't. "The Chief suggested doing some investigative reporting on the treatment of minorities. Since I'm Ute, he said it may seem more authentic and hit home for some of the readers."

I was beginning to feel a tiny bit better about the news. "That's not a bad idea," I said, adding my two cents.

Jake grinned and went on. "Yeah, that's what I told Mr. Varner. I guess he'll want me to travel around to different reservations and maybe even to the border, down by Tijuana."

"Seems really exciting," I told him with a forced smile. Though he continued to rave about his new job with the _Herald_, I ended the dinner as quickly as I could and headed back to the bus.

It was only 9:30 p.m. and I wasn't sure exactly when Edward was planning on coming back, so I slipped out of my clothing and into one of his T-shirts that was lying on the bed. Happily, Emmett and Jasper had both decided to stay at hotels in town that night, allowing Edward and I to have the bus to ourselves. Jared, Danny, Jake, and the rest of the crew had put up tents not too far away and had planned on fishing and doing the whole camping thing all night. Grinning and realizing that we'd be completely, completely and utterly alone, I shimmied out of my panties; maybe that would be a nice surprise for Eddie to come home to.

After an hour of lying there on my stomach, playing solitaire on my phone, I finally decided to rest my eyes. I don't know when I had finally succumbed to sleep, but I was awoken by a wonderfully sensual massage of my girlie bits. I moaned his name as he pushed into me.

"Bella, I fucking love you so much, baby," he groaned. I was surprised that my typical instinct of freezing up and shutting down wasn't at the forefront of my mind. Instead, my body craved him even more. Nothing had ever felt like this before, and with a small touch on my clit, I came undone. He pumped a few more times until I felt his cock pulsating deep within me. God, he was so warm. My orgasmic haze hovered over me for several moments afterward as we caught our breath.

Edward eventually slipped out of me and rolled onto his back with a huff. His breathing had already begun to even out into the deep breaths of sleep. He smelled like liquor—whisky to be exact—and I wondered exactly how drunk he had gotten. I lifted onto my elbows and placed my face in my hands. What in the hell had been going on with him that caused him to, after months of not touching liquor, fall off the wagon. I just _knew _that something bad had been going on with him.

Letting out a sigh of frustration, I flipped over and lifted my legs to crawl under the covers. That's when I felt it—that sticky, gooey substance between my legs that could only possibly be _one _thing. Quickly, I reached my hand down and touched it before bringing it up to my nose. _Semen._

_Oh...my God. _

"Eddie," I called out to him as I stared at the stuff on my fingertips as it shone in the light of the moon coming in from the between the cracks in the blinds. He mumbled a bit, but didn't stir. "Edward!" I said louder, fear and worry evident in my voice.

When I was certain that he wasn't going to wake up, I quickly scrambled off the bed and rushed to the bathroom. I turned the faucet of the shower as hot as it would go and stepped under the water. Thank God for detachable shower heads. I took it and placed it right up against my entrance, letting the scalding water spray up inside of me.

We'd always been so careful. Edward knew that I wouldn't take birth control because of my family's history of breast cancer; the doctor had told me as a teenager that I shouldn't take it for a long period of time—if at all.

As I began to sob, resting my head against the tiled wall, I prayed fervently to the deities above that all the sperm would wash out. I held the shower head there until the water turned frigid.

_What have we done?_

A/N:

**Our Caged Skylark playlist (so far):**

-Opener (You Me and Apollo)

-Somebody Told Me (The Killers)

-A Pearl (You Me and Apollo)

-Bulletproof (The Goo Goo Dolls)

-Black Bird (The Beatles)

-15 Step (Radiohead)

-Amigone (The Goo Goo Dolls)

-Closing Time (Semisonic)

-Raise Your Glass (P!nk)

-Smile Like You Mean It (The Killers)

-Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Pat Benetar)

-Chasing Pavements (Adele)

-Give Me Everything (Pitbull, Ne-Yo, etc...)

-All My Life (Foo Fighters)

-White Sky (Vampire Weekend)

-Everlong (Foo Fighters)

-More Than A Feeling (Boston)

-Come On (West Water Outlaws)

-Californication (Red Hot Chili Peppers)

-Sweet Devil Whiskey (Bonnie and the Beard)

**Thank you for all of the reviews! They're so appreciated!**

_**I am donating an O/S to the Fandom for Oklahoma benefit. You'll WANT to read it. Believe me. Benny and Tom and wedding bells, anyone?! GO DONATE!**_

_**FIC RECS: **_

_**Let's Get Physical by Lalina**_

_**Super interesting and so much fun! Definitely recommend it.**_

_**I also want you all to read these two wonderfully angsty fics:**_**_  
_**

_**Dear Bella by lellabeth**_

_**AND**_

_**Good Enough by Kekahj**_


	21. A Matter of Time

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Thank you for all of the reviews! They're so appreciated!**

**I'd like to thank my wonderful betas, hammondgirl and starpower31, and my pre reader, 2loveybunnies. I love them all to pieces!**

The song for this chapter is "A Matter of Time" by The Killers. Check them out! Enjoy!

I am donating an O/S to the Fandom for Oklahoma benefit. You'll WANT to read it. Believe me. Benny and Tom and wedding bells, anyone?! Also! Skylark is going to leave some things left open. You'll WANT TO READ THIS OUTTAKE! GO DONATE!

1 more chapters left! Chasing Sparrows, the sequel, will begin updates within 2-3 weeks from the end of Skylark!

**_This chapter deals with a topic that is VERY touchy. Please don't jump to angry conclusions. The story is far from complete, so please bear with me. THANKS! :)_**

"A Matter of Time"

(The Killers)

BPOV

After I had shoved about half a bottle of Edward's body wash up my hooha and finished rinsing the suds out with the frigid water, I was convinced I got all of the semen out. There was no way those little things could survive anti-bacterial soap, right?

_Madison, WI_

_September 1_

Maybe I had been wrong.

I'd been waiting on pins and needles for my period to arrive. Since I'd never really been strictly regular anyway, I'd just kept on waiting and waiting. It had been five weeks since that night, but I wasn't ready to just call myself pregnant without some real proof.

_Fuck. _Why hadn't I just taken the goddamn morning-after pill?It would have been simple, but I was arrogant enough to really believe I had taken care of it with that shower. Wishful thinking and all that.

I was a freaking idiot, apparently.

That fact really crashed down on me as I stood in a little Madison, Wisconsin drug store, staring at all the shelves of pregnancy tests and wondering which one(s) to go with. If only I had a huge jug of Sunny-D, I could totally be mistaken for Juno. At that thought, I pulled on the strings of my hoodie until it tightened further against my head. I didn't want anyone to recognize me and put two and two together.

Since _Midnight Sun's_ song _"Over Ripe Thorns"_ had been placed on a new ABC show and _"La Belle" _had also received placement in a summer blockbuster, Emmett and Jasper's faces were well known...but Edward? Edward had blasted into orbit with the stardom he'd received. Suddenly, people were taking pictures of him when we went out together and his Facebook fan page had grown from 207 likes to 1,728,952. Yes, I'd checked it.

Of course, he deserved every bit of the fanfare he'd received. Edward Cullen was a musical genius. Unfortunately, that also left me in the position of having to sneak around a freaking store in Wisconsin, in the middle of the night, while he had gone out drinking with Axl. Yes, Edward had been drinking again. It had only been that _one time_, not the terrible binges like he had told me about before; but that _one time _was all that mattered _now_.

I finally settled on First Response, which had two tests inside the box, and Clear Blue.

I brought the boxes to the cashier in the makeup department, hoping to avoid any curious glances. I know I was being paranoid—no one really knew my face after all—but I really didn't want a picture of me holding a pregnancy test to pop up online for Edward to see. If in fact I was pregnant, then I wanted to be the one to tell him.

"That'll be $39.71," the cashier told me. Geez. Finding out the potentially worst news of your life sure was expensive. Reluctantly, I handed over my debit card. As the lady zipped the magnetic strip through the card reader, she offered me a sympathetic look. She knew exactly how I felt.

"Mommy! Mommy!" a little blonde-haired toddler called out as she ran past me and latched onto her mother's leg. _Dammit._ I couldn't get away from this. I prayed fervently that the little girl and her mom weren't an omen of things to come.

cS-Cs

I stared at the little positive sign on the first test. It was daunting in all its pale blue horror. This couldn't be correct. False positives, right? Nodding to myself, I took one of the Clear Blue tests and walked back to the bathroom. Hopefully I still had enough pee inside of my bladder to make this work.

Thankfully, I did.

After peeing on the little stick, I replaced the cap and placed it face down on the counter. Three minutes was a long time to wait. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked the time—1:15 A.M. Edward should have been back by now, or at least close to now, but lately, I never could tell. At least it had given me a chance to use these tests in peace.

Moments later, however, I heard the tell-tale sign of drunken men outside the bus. _Crap!_ I grabbed the pee-stick and ran to the bedroom, throwing it under my pillow as I quickly stripped out of my clothes and slipped into an oversized T-shirt and jogging pants. Hopefully, Edward would get the message that I was absolutely _not _in the mood for sex.

But he didn't, of course. Edward came stumbling into our room and fell haphazardly on top of me where I was lying down, pretending to sleep. Wet, sloppy kisses littered my exposed skin, and he snaked his hand up underneath my shirt, squeezing my breast. I let out a painful yelp. Holy God, my boobs were tender. Chalk another one up to pregnancy symptoms.

"I know you're 'wake," Edward slurred against my neck. He tried to squeeze my breast again, but I grasped him by the wrist and pulled him away.

"I'm not in the mood tonight, Edward," I said with a finality that I really hoped he wouldn't challenge. I should have known my Edward better, though.

"What's your deal, Bella?" Annoyance laced his voice and his jaw clenched and twitched.

"I just have a headache," I mumbled lamely. Edward stared at me with glassy, bloodshot eyes, before he huffed and rolled off of me. Though he mumbled something about a tease, he was soon snoring softly.

I sighed in relief and pulled the covers up over me and reached for my pillow to flip it over to the cool side. That was the moment that my hand brushed the little plastic stick. With a deep breath, I turned the test over.

_Pregnant._

cS-Cs

I woke up with a refreshed attitude and outlook at life. Was I excited about the prospect of becoming a mother? Not a chance. I had never wanted kids. But Edward and I desperately needed to discuss this like adults and figure out exactly what we were going to do. As a couple. As a team.

Standing in the little kitchenette, I finished pouring batter in the skillet and watched as it bubbled and created the perfect pancake. The bus lurched a little as we pulled onto the interstate heading to Chicago. I could hear the flush of the toilet and lifted my eyes to see Edward amble out. He looked as though a truck had run him over. Part of me wondered if Edward had been having these episodes because of the fact that we were Chicago bound. Every time I had attempted to broach the subject with him, however, he brushed me aside and claimed to be fine.

I wasn't going to let it go this time.

"Eddie?" I called out, stopping him from going back into the bedroom to lie down.

Slowly, he turned toward me and, with a large yawn, sauntered toward the table. With a huff, Edward plopped down and rested his head on his arms. I rolled my eyes and mustered up all the patience I had before I placed a stack of Edward's favorite breakfast before him.

"Thanks," he mumbled sleepily.

"Hangover?" I asked as I sat my own plate down and took a seat across from him. Edward lifted annoyed eyes toward me and shrugged as he grabbed the organic maple syrup and doused his pancakes. Well, the conversation was already going smashingly. "Why have you been drinking again, Edward?" I asked him, cutting to the chase.

His eyes met mine again and his jaw clenched in frustration. "I've had a lot on my mind is all," he told me shortly. _Dang it. _I had known that this wasn't going to work.

"So it has nothing to do with the fact that we're driving toward Chicago right now?" I asked. His flinch spoke the volumes that his voice would not.

"Bella, it's really tough to wrap my head around it each year, and this is even worse," Edward said in a desolate voice. "Please just let it go. We aren't talking about this anymore. If we can just cruise through the next few weeks, then we'll be fine."

"Are you still taking your medication?" I questioned as doubts popped into my mind.

Edward's eyes flashed to mine. Guilt was quickly masked by anger. "I said that we were done talking about this."

I looked at him skeptically. There I sat, pregnant with a baby that neither of us wanted at the most inconvenient of times, and he was thinking that we'd be _fine_? Scoffing, I looked down at my sugary breakfast and swallowed thickly as my stomach rolled. I lifted a hand to my mouth, closing my eyes and licking my lips slowly, trying desperately to force the bile back down.

"You sick or something?" Edward asked around a mouthful of pancakes. My eyes snapped open and I stared at him in horrified fascination. Apparently, he hadn't been as clueless as I'd assumed lately.

With a half-smile filled with sadness, I told him, "Yeah, or _something_."

"Anyway, is there something you wanted?" he questioned, finishing off the last of his breakfast. "Otherwise, I'm going back to bed."

I took a deep breath and used my fork to slice another piece of pancake. "It's nothing."

Edward rolled his eyes before pushing away from the table to stand. "Fine, then. I'll see you in a few hours." And he was gone. Just like that, leaving his dirty dish sitting in front of me. I gathered it and my own plate and took them to the sink. After throwing away the remainder of my food, I ran the water as hot as it would go as I leaned against the countertop and let the tears falls.

_What was I thinking?_ Of course Edward wasn't going to be able to handle going back to Chicago. The medication wasn't the saving grace for him, but I knew we'd both been hoping it would be. He'd been behaving more and more recklessly in the past couple of months, which was obvious with the predicament I now found myself in. All I had wanted to do was sit there, eat our breakfast, and have an adult conversation about our options. But his mind couldn't handle that right now. Hell, _my _mind couldn't handle it.

Quickly, my tears dried and I pushed back from the sink as a thought came over me. Grabbing my phone from the table, I pulled up Google and began to search. When I located the number I sought, I pressed _call_.

cS-Cs

_Chicago concert night _

_Tuesday, September 3_

Rose and I hadn't spoken more than a handful of times in the past six months. Though Alice was a little more insistent with her attempts to reach out to me, I had mainly just texted with her. Peter had confronted her last month, demanding to know what had gone wrong between them and if she'd been sleeping with Jasper before they had officially broken up. That conversation resulted in Alice calling the cops and having him removed from her house. I'd never known Peter to be an aggressive or angry person, but I guess I had been wrong.

Benny, however, had been the only friend that I'd been keeping in constant communication with. He was my rock. I'd received a call from a very excited sounding Ben two nights ago, telling me that Tom had popped the question over dinner at the Space Needle. Now that the bill on marriage equality had passed, my best friend was getting hitched. I was absolutely over the moon for him, though a tiny piece of me felt a twinge of pain.

My phone rang beside me on the bed of my hotel room. _Well, speak of the devil. _

"Hello, Benjamin," I said with as much of a smirk as I could muster.

His laugh resounded through the phone in a light and much welcomed peal. "Oh, Baby-B," he sighed happily, "you have no idea how much I've missed you. How am I supposed to plan this wedding without the help of the Maid-of-Honor?"

Rolling my eyes, I sarcastically reminded him of the obvious problem with me touching any part of his wedding planning process. "You know that I'd just say, 'Fuck it, go elope,' right?" I could almost hear his cringe through the line.

"I'm sorry, B," he told me in faux disgust. "That wouldn't do at all for the orange ball gown I have all picked out for you to wear."

It was my turn to cringe. "Please tell me you're joking," I begged desperately.

He chortled at my fear, keeping me waiting in suspense for several moments before relinquishing. "Do you really think that I'd make you wear _orange_—or a ball gown for that matter? Give me some credit, honey."

A movement caught my eye and I looked up to find Edward leaning against the doorframe, staring at me with a hungry and desperate look in his eyes. "That's true..." I trailed off, unable to concentrate on Benny any longer. Edward pushed off the frame and reached his hands to the clasp of his belt, slowly undoing the buckle.

"Actually, B, I was thinking of taking you straight to the bridal shop with me when you get here tomorrow. Bella? Are you okay? You sound like you're working out." My chest was rising and falling rapidly as I took in Edward's little strip tease. He closed the door behind him as he made his way closer. When he reached his hand down the front of his now unbuttoned pants, I watched anxiously as he squeezed and stroked himself. I pressed my thighs together in anticipation.

"Um... B-Benny? I've gotta go," I said quickly before hanging up and setting my phone back down beside me.

Edward smirked at me and there was a touch of something sinister in that grin. With his free hand, he pushed his pants and boxers down his thighs. When his hand-covered erection was released, I let out a _whoosh_ of breath. I hadn't had him in nearly a week, and these pregnancy hormones were very angry with me for cutting him off.

He'd been angry as well.

And he proved that to me as he stroked himself before me, not offering to actually make love to me. He just rubbed himself, gathering the moisture forming at the tip and using it to allow his hand to slip more easily over his erection.

"Edward..." I said pleadingly, wanting him to touch me desperately—to relieve the ache forming in the pit of my stomach.

His hand sped up as he listened to me beg. "Tell me that you love me," he demanded with a husky voice.

Surprised, I leaned back on my hands and looked up at his eyes. _Of course, I love him. _"Of course, I love you." My words mimicked my thoughts. I hadn't realized that he'd been questioning if I really loved him or not.

"Take off your pants." Again, his words were orders and not requests, and I complied readily. When my pants were off and he'd sheathed himself with a condom, I almost told him it wasn't necessary, but I knew that this wasn't the appropriate moment to unleash the baby news on him.

Edward lifted me from the bed and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He inhaled deeply, and at first I wondered if it was because of the extra 3 pounds I'd recently gained. But I realized he was just breathing in _me_ and allowing the scent of my arousal to fill his lungs, before he positioned my entrance over him and sunk into me.

He carried me to the window and—thank goodness that the curtains were drawn—I braced my hands on either side of the frame. Edward pumped into me several times as my back hit the curtain covered glass, until the position become too awkward. Then, he stumbled backward and lifted me with him as he laid back on the bed, and I rode him into oblivion. Leaning back, I rested my hands on his calves, allowing him full view of my wet lower mouth as it swallowed each inch of his cock.

"Fuck, Isabella," Edward groaned as his eyes rolled back in his head. I felt his cock swell within me before it began pulsing, erupting into climax. Quickly, I reached for my clit and rubbed furiously until I, too, obtained orgasm.

I lay on his chest for many moments until I felt him brush my hair aside as he told me that he needed to get to sound check. Tomorrow, we'd head home to Seattle, but tonight would be the first—and only—concert in Chicago. Em had mentioned that they'd also added a new song that Edward had written—one of the many that I hadn't been allowed to hear yet.

Just after I heard the door click behind Edward, signaling that he had left the hotel room, my phone began to ring. I didn't recognize the number but picked it up anyway.

"This is Bella Swan," I answered.

"Hello, Bella," a woman greeted. "This is Susan from the Seattle-Northgate Planned Parenthood. I just wanted to confirm your appointment for Thursday afternoon at 2 P.M."

My hand automatically reached for my belly, where that tiny peanut shaped thing was growing. If I took care of the situation now, then I'd be better off. _We'd_ be better off. "Um... Yeah, I'll be there," I confirmed slowly, swallowing against the big lump in my throat.

"Great," she told me as if this was a routine dental exam. "We'll see you at two." I hung up the phone, dropping it as though it had burned me.

After I realized that Edward wasn't—and probably never would be—ready for this little surprise, I had made a rash decision about my future and this problem. I wasn't ready for a baby either, that much was certain.

I would take care of the..._situation_ in two days and never have to think of it again.

cS-Cs

Thanks to pregnancy hormones causing me to fall fast asleep in utter exhaustion, I arrived at the concert only moments before _Midnight Sun_ took the stage. I had missed the entire sound check for the first time in nearly a year.

Edward nodded to me after I waved at him, but made no attempt to greet me. There had been none of the typical pre-show kisses, and especially no pre-show bathroom romp this time. My hand stilled mid-wave at his brusque acknowledgment of me. I desperately wanted to blame the pregnancy hormones or the fact that we were in Chicago, but my mind was telling me a different story. This was the Edward from when we first met. Yes, things had changed. I was madly and deeply in love with him now. I knew that if I could wait it out like last time, I'd see a change in him once again.

I just desperately hoped that I would have the strength inside of me to hold out.

I felt the vibrations of his guitar before I actually saw him playing, and looked up in time to watch him take the stage. The first chords of a brand new song blared through the theater.

He grabbed the microphone with an intense ferocity. Sweat beaded his forehead.

"_You've wanted an escape, _

_You've been searching for a hole in the fence where the boards don't meet._

_I wish you'd give me a chance to make this up, _

_To put up some chain-link..."_

_Oh, God._ Why was he doing this to me? Our relationship was becoming public knowledge again. I once though it sweet—the intimacy of him singing his love directly to me, in front of the rest of the world. Now, though, it was a reminder of the secret I wasn't quite ready to share. He knew I was hiding something; Edward was too smart for his own good.

As though he had read my mind, he swiveled to the side and looked directly at me as he sang on.

_"You aren't the only one in this place._

_Even if you make my sunshine brighter, _

_You need some more grace._

_I've been running in circles of Jack and Coke, _

_And even the smoke hasn't helped yet,_

_Tryin' to figure out how the hell to hold on._

_How the hell to hold out..."_

The air filled my lungs in burning gasps and salty tears stung my eyes. Had he been thinking that I'd wanted an out all these weeks? That I wanted an escape?

_"Don't forget what I can give you._

_No one else can do the same. _

_But if you really want to go, _

_Remember that I'll be left here going insane!"_

The crowd roared with enthusiasm but I felt completely numb. When Edward turned his face back to the audience, I made a hasty goodbye to Jacob and rushed out the stage door. But, just as I reached the sidewalk outside, Jake came rushing out after me.

"Bells!" he called out to me as he ran. "Stop! Wait!"

I froze and lifted my fingers to my cheeks to dash away my tears. I turned toward him as he skidded to a stop in front of me.

"What's wrong, Bells?" Jake asked, taking my shoulders and shaking me lightly. "What did he do?" I scoffed, even through the free-falling tears. Since when had I become so easy to read?

"Nothing, Jake," I said after I cleared my throat. "Don't worry about it." Watching as he rolled his eyes, I knew that he wouldn't be letting this go. "Can you just take me back to the bus? I need to get a few more of my things ready before my flight tomorrow."

"Yeah, Bells, let's go." Jake motioned to his new sports car. He'd purchased it a couple of weeks ago in Minneapolis and had insisted that he would drive home to Seattle from Chicago. Thankfully, it provided me with a quick way back to the bus.

Jake drove us in silence, not demanding answers to the obvious questions about what was the matter with me. When we arrived at the bus, we both entered and Jake took a seat on one of the recliners while I gathered some of my things. Even though I had been staying at the hotel with Edward, I figured that I'd just get my final packing done since I refused to stay at the concert.

I threw all of my remaining belongings into my suitcase, which had been left on the bus anyway, and stepped back out.

"All set, Jake," I told him as I rolled my suitcase behind me.

He eyed me in contemplation and concern. "Are you ready to tell me what's wrong yet?" Jake asked, motioning for me to sit. With a sigh of resignation, I took a seat on the opposite recliner.

"There's nothing to tell, Jacob," I said, waving my hand dismissively, hoping to convince both him and myself.

"Are you sure about that, Bells?" he questioned. "Because it seems to me that you've been keeping to yourself a lot lately. The vivacious girl I know and love—" He looked at me after the admission to gauge my response, but I had nothing. I was a neutral mask, so he continued. "—has suddenly been swallowed up inside of her own head. What happened in these last few weeks?"

I couldn't help it. My hand immediately slipped to my belly, and it didn't escaped Jake's notice as his eyes followed my hand. Even his dark, russet skin paled as realization dawned on his face. His mouth opened and closed several times while his mind failed to produce words.

After what felt like forever, Jake finally said, "How long have you kno—"

"Only a week," I interrupted, looking down at where my fingers splayed across my still flat stomach.

"What have you two decided to do? Are you going to get married before the baby comes? Is he moving to Seattle or are you going to Los Angeles?" God, Jake was just full of questions and they were coming out of his mouth at lightning speed.

I glanced back up to him, biting my lip. "He doesn't know. I don't even want to tell him. I'm just going to...to _take care of it_ and move on with my life."

Jake's face paled further as he absorbed what I had just said. "Edward... He has a right to know about his child, Bells. You have to talk to him first. Don't go around making these kind of decisions without him."

"Since when have you ever cared about Edward's well-being, Jacob?" I shouted. Anger was beginning to fuel me, pressing me forward and providing an outlet for my frustration.

"It's not _Edward_ I care about here, Bells. It's you. You're not going to be able to live with yourself if you do this." His face was honest and sincere. I wondered when he had gotten to know me so well, because I knew that he had indeed spoken the truth.

"Look, I already have an appointment with Planned Parenthood on Thursday, and I don't really see another option, Jake. But...I promise that I'll tell Edward before we leave for Seattle."

Jake stood suddenly and reached for my luggage. "Then let's go. I'm taking you back to your hotel so that you can rest."

I followed him up without argument. What would be the point of arguing, anyway? Every moment felt like I was suffocating a little more.

A/N:

Again, one more chapter before the sequel. It's not going to end very happily, BUT Chasing Sparrows will more than make up for it!

**Our Caged Skylark playlist (so far):**

-Opener (You Me and Apollo)

-Somebody Told Me (The Killers)

-A Pearl (You Me and Apollo)

-Bulletproof (The Goo Goo Dolls)

-Black Bird (The Beatles)

-15 Step (Radiohead)

-Amigone (The Goo Goo Dolls)

-Closing Time (Semisonic)

-Raise Your Glass (P!nk)

-Smile Like You Mean It (The Killers)

-Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Pat Benetar)

-Chasing Pavements (Adele)

-Give Me Everything (Pitbull, Ne-Yo, etc...)

-All My Life (Foo Fighters)

-White Sky (Vampire Weekend)

-Everlong (Foo Fighters)

-More Than A Feeling (Boston)

-Come On (West Water Outlaws)

-Californication (Red Hot Chili Peppers)

-Sweet Devil Whiskey (Bonnie and the Beard)

-A Matter of Time (The Killers)

**Thank you for all of the reviews! They're so appreciated!**

**_I am donating an O/S to the Fandom for Oklahoma benefit. You'll WANT to read it. Believe me. Benny and Tom and wedding bells, anyone?! GO DONATE!_**

**_FIC RECS:_**

**_Read these two wonderfully angsty fics:_**

**_Dear Bella by lellabeth_**

**_AND_**

**_Good Enough by kekahj_**


	22. Setting Fire to Mr Brightside

Warning: this chapter deals with a very, VERY tough concept. This is not a political statement and does not necessarily reflect on the author's personal beliefs one way or another. Please read with an open mind and heart.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Thank you for all of the reviews! They're so appreciated!**

**I'd like to thank my wonderful betas, hammondgirl and starpower31, and my pre reader, 2loveybunnies. I love them all to pieces!**

The songs for this chapter are "Set Fire to the Rain" by Adele and "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers. Check them out! Enjoy!

This is the final chapter of Caged Skylark, and I want to thank all of those who have stuck it out. I lost a few readers last time, but I just ask that those of you who are angst-hater please wait it out and read Chasing Sparrows. HEAs await our Rockward and Writerella! I promise!

A short epilogue will follow, but the real epi is the one I just submitted to the Fandom for Oklahoma benefit. Please donate.

_**This chapter deals with a topic that is VERY touchy. Please don't jump to angry conclusions. The story is far from complete, so please bear with me. THANKS! :)**_

"Setting Fire to Mr. Brightside"

(Adele: "Set Fire To The Rain" and The Killers: "Mr. Brightside")

"Set Fire To The Rain"

BPOV

_Chicago_

_5 A.M., Wednesday, September 4_

I was awoken by the sound of a door being slammed just before the overhead light was flipped on. Even with my eyes closed, I squinted against the brightness. I tried to pretend to be asleep, as had sadly become a normal habit for me in the past few weeks when it came to dealing with Edward, but he wasn't having it this time. He yanked the covers off of me and my eyes flew open and I sat up.

"Ge'up!" he slurred angrily. _Great. Drunk again._ I could smell the whiskey and nasty stench of marijuana from where I was on the bed. I fixed him with my most threatening and ominous glare, but it didn't even faze him. "You're gonna tell me what the _fuck_ you were thinking, leaving my concert e-early," he demanded with a hiccup.

My own anger hit me full force. "Do you really think that _I_ owe _you _an explanation, Edward Cullen?"

"Yeah, as a matter of—"

"What the hell was that song, huh?" I interrupted him. "What the fuck were you_ thinking_ airing our dirty laundry where the rest of the world can see it?"

His jaw flexed in frustration as he attempted to focus his gaze on me. "Well, it's the fucking truth," he growled. "You've done everything you can to avoid me in the last few weeks. We made all these plans an' you're just trying to get away from me. Don't think I can't feel it, _Isabella_."

I stared at him as waves of emotion flowed over me: shock, guilt, anger, frustration, and finally, pain. "You don't have any idea what you're talking about, Edward," I told him matter-of-factly though my voice was mousy.

His eyes snapped up to mine and fire boiled within them. "Then why the hell don't you enlighten me?"

"Because you've been drinking andyou smell like weed..._all the time_!" I shouted. He had to be insane to think that I'd was in any way willing to communicate this life-altering news while he was intoxicated and high-as-a-freaking-kite. "I'm not having this conversation when you're piss drunk!"

"Like fuck you aren't, woman. You had better tell me. Right. The. Fuck. Now." _Holy shit._ I'd never heard Edward so deathly calm in his anger. His voice was unnerving, enlightening me to a monster that had surely resided within this man I loved so much. I knew it was the alcohol fueling the fury, but my heart pounded faster at the threat in his expression.

I opened my mouth to tell him to screw off until he had sobered up, but what came out was something entirely different. "I'm pregnant." My voice was such a soft whisper that I wasn't even sure that I had spoken. Not until Edward stumbled backward and reached out a hand to the coffee table to stop himself from falling.

"You-you're _what_?" he asked, blinking rapidly as if to clear his mind of the whiskey and pot-induced cobwebs.

I took a deep breath and willed my voice to grow stronger. "I said I'm pregnant, Edward." There it was. There was the strong Bella I'd misplaced in the past months. And just as I found her, the fight left Edward's body like the air out of a deflating balloon. He sank to the table slowly, eyes distant and dazed. In an instant, he had gone from raging drunk to silent and sober.

Edward dropped his head to his hands, pulling at his hair. This was his thinking pose. I would never forget that look on his face—the one when he was in deep thought. I slid off the edge of the bed and knelt to pick up my robe off the floor; though I was fairly well covered in my shirt and shorts, I wanted more. The fabric wrapped around me like a protective blanket. Slipping the robe onto my shoulders, I tied it as tightly as I could handle and pulled my long brown hair out of the back of it. I'd locked myself away, prepared to be on the defense.

Only hours ago, we had been enjoying the sex we both loved so much—it had always been our outlet with each other. But now...now, he knew. I'd tried so hard to keep it a secret. I could have just taken care of it and I wouldn't have had to add all the pressure onto him. Not this week, when he'd already been dealing with so much with the tragic anniversary of Elizabeth and Edward Masen Sr.'s tragic deaths.

Now, though, it was just too late.

"Bella, look..." He pushed his hands through his bronze locks once more before raising his eyes back to mine. "I won't be a father. I have never wanted that. I'll never put a kid through what I had to go through when my pare—when _they_ died." I'd been correct in my assumption that Edward had based his feelings on family and children on what had happened with his own parents, while my personal feelings were only based on the fact that I just didn't want to be a mom. Simple as that. My career had always been first and that was all that ever mattered. "You'll just... Just do whatever you have to do to get rid of it."

I stumbled back a bit, the cold words hitting me like a wall. That idea, coming from me—from my own head—made sense. It had been my initial, rational reaction to dealing with an inconvenience that I didn't want. But coming from him? At least I had struggled with the idea. Edward suggesting so...flippantly...that I should abort the child we'd created cut straight to my heart. His words were a dagger, flaying me alive. And with that suggestion, my mind was changed, set on an entirely new course.

I walked over to him as he rose from the table to meet me face-to-face. Using my finger to make my point, I told him, "I will never, _ever_, get rid of this baby, Edward _Masen_!" I made certain to use his original last name for emphasis. He sucked in a deep, pained breath. "How can you even suggest such a thing after everything you've been through? We may not want a baby, but it's too goddamn bad—"

Wide-eyed and with a slightly crazed look about him, Edward quickly stepped back several feet, as though he could not get away fast enough. "Y-you did this on purpose! It's your fucking fault! How could you fuck up our lives like this, Isabella?" he shouted at me as murderous anger resonated in his voice.

My mouth hung agape and my eyes welled with tears, but I would not let them fall. "This is my fault?" I asked incredulously, willing my voice to sound even and steeled.

"Yes!" he shouted at me. "We were so happy. We were so perfect. I loved you freely without the strings and the shit. We could have had everything and you fucked it all up!"

My tears dried instantly. _Were? Could have?_

"Edward." I cleared my throat and dried the edges of my eyes. "Look, I won't ask you for anything, okay? But I'm not getting rid of this..._our_...baby. I'm sorry that you don't like that."

Slowly, I pulled my suitcase from the closet and began opening drawers, removing anything I had left at the hotel, and placing it in the bag in preparation for my flight only eight hours later. Edward wasn't flying back with me. We had made plans for him to fly into Los Angeles and pack his things, and I would meet him there in a week so we could drive up to Seattle together. Everything had been arranged—Benny had already taken care of setting me up with a realtor to sell my loft—and Edward and I had looked at some larger apartments online.

On paper, everything looked perfect for us. We looked carefree. Edward and I seemed to be a happily-in-love couple, all set to move in together and take our relationship to the next level. I knew deep down that he loved me, but his pain and anger had been overshadowing it. And, yes, I was in love with him, too. But, the "happily" part of the equation was really beginning to lack.

As I turned to place my makeup bag in the suitcase, my eyes met his. Still as stone, he remained where he had sat back down, simply watching what I was doing as though his mind had been switched off.

Or, maybe I was wrong? I jumped as suddenly, his voice suddenly penetrated the silence with a resounding boom.

"You _will_, Isabella!" He'd never screamed at me before. Yelling, sure; yelling was okay because it was just a passionate response to something. Screaming was different than yelling. Screaming was like a downed power line, ready to destroy the moment you got near it. "If you love me and want this life with me, then you _will_ make the right decision. I refuse to be a father!"

We stared at each other for a moment, eyes flaming with heated anger and regret. The moment was surreal as I watched in defeat as the last bit of light in his eyes was replaced by darkness. My breath left me in a rush and I quickly spun around and rushed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me and turning on the shower. I needed to wash the heat and sex and love—all traces of this man—off of me.

As soon as I shed my clothing and stepped under the warm water, I felt his hands at my back. I hadn't even heard him open the door, let alone undress and step into the shower with me. Oh God, how I'd wanted him to touch me, yet I wanted to push him away at the same moment. I spun in his arms and attacked his lips with ferocity. All the pent up passion and pain fueled my need for him—for this last time.

Because I knew in my heart that this was the last time, but not just because I was flying home in a matter of hours. It was the _last_ time. Forever.

I lifted my fingers into his hair and tugged sharply, pulling his head backward. I desperately wanted to inflict a small amount of the pain he'd just dealt to me. Instead, he groaned in pleasure, reaching down to grasp the back of my thighs in his large calloused hands, and lifted my legs to wrap around his waist. He backed me up roughly until my back slammed against the tiled wall. We kissed with hunger and ire, pushing and pulling at each other.

His fingers brushed against my entrance, making sure I was ready for him since he couldn't seem to wait any longer. Swiftly, his fingers left me and his hard, thick cock filled me to the hilt. I yelped at the sudden intrusion and then moaned at the perfection of being filled by him.

God, I would miss this. We fit so well together; two halves of a whole unit. When we were together, we were magnificent. We wrote together, made love together, we even dreamed together—our dreams had even been the same...at least until the circumstance changed completely. The two of us knew each other's bodies and minds better than anyone else ever had. When we were in sync, there was nothing and no one but us.

Fresh tears sprang to my eyes. We were ending as we had begun. Rough, raw, needy, greedy, lustful, painful, and blissfully completed.

Pinned against the wall, his hips pistoned into mine. I knew he was close; the way his legs began to tremble slightly and his breathing became uneven was his tell. I grasped his arm with my left hand as I reached my right down between us and found my clit. His eyes shot up to mine, silently telling me he had planned on taking care of that for me. But I just closed my eyes and ignored the pleading stare from him. I focused, solely on the way his body felt against me, the way he held me up in his strong arms as his triceps flexed under my hand as I dug my nails into the back of his arm. I focused on how much I would miss these moments.

When I came, crashing around him, squeezing and milking his cock for all it was worth, he grunted and fell apart inside of me. I felt the warm, thick semen fill my body...not that it mattered now. We remained there for several minutes, simply holding one another as we came down from the high.

Silently, Edward turned off the shower and carried me to the bed, laying us both down under the covers with his arm around me and my head on his shoulder. All too soon, his breathing evened out. Sleep had finally claimed him. I lay with him for many moments before easing my way out from under his arm.

Within minutes, I was dressed with my bag in hand, and I took a last glance around the room to make certain that I'd gathered everything. My phone vibrated in my pocket, alerting me that Jake had arrived downstairs. I had sent him a text that I needed his help as soon as I had slipped out of the bed. Instead of responding to him, I tiptoed over to the bed and placed a single kiss on the corner of Edward's mouth, whispering words of love and apology.

When the door clicked behind me as I left, I didn't turn back to look. If I did, I would never leave. The elevator to the lobby was excruciatingly slow; every floor seemed to slow the ride down and beg me to stay. Still, I refused and just pounded on the button for the lobby harder.

Jake waited patiently at the curb with his car, ready to drive me as far away from Edward as I could get. As I made my way to Jake, he offered a reassuring smile and handed me his cigarette in exchange for my bag. I lifted it to my lips and took a drag before even thinking about the baby. I pulled it away quickly and threw it to the ground, sputtering and coughing the smoke out of my lungs as quickly as I could.

"You okay, Bells?" Jake asked, patting my back before realization dawned on his face. "Shit! I'm sorry, Bells. Is the baby going to be okay? You didn't inhale, did you?" I shook my head but my throat burned. I welcomed it. The fire reminded me of why I was doing this. _For you, little Peanut, _I told the baby reverently.

Only hours ago, I'd been set on getting rid of the..._situation_...and now, I'd given the baby a nickname. My head spun with the swirl of emotions racing through me.

We made it to Jake's place rapidly. It was an extended-stay motel, equipped with a kitchenette and a pullout couch. I was grateful that I would have the chance to get some sleep and have another shower since my hair hung down my back in a tangled, damp mess from not brushing it.

"Did you want anything to eat, Bells?" Jake held up bags of deli meats and cheeses that he'd had packed away in the little refrigerator. I shuffled those through my mental register of pregnancy "no-no's"—ironically, I had written a blog about at one point for the _Herald_. Deli meat is on the list, unless it had been cooked until steaming to kill the listeria, so I shook my head no.

"Maybe I can cook us some grilled cheese sandwiches, Jake?" I asked. "I just don't feel very good right now, but would it be okay with you if I showered first?"

Jake's pupils were slightly dilated, telling me that he was picturing me in his shower. Usually, I at least appreciated the effect I had on him, but now it was just another burden. I turned around and made my way toward the bathroom. After the day's events, I didn't have energy to spare on dealing with his feelings for me.

I turned on the hot water and waited for it to steam up. The zipper on the back of my dress stuck halfway down my back. That's what I got for buying the vintage 1940's dress from that secondhand store I'd found in Denver.

"Jacob?" I called out to him. He didn't respond right away, and when I went to look for him, he was sitting on the sofa wearing his headphones and listening to music.

I tugged one out of his ear, which managed to get his attention. "Jake, will you help me with the zipper? I can't reach..." He jumped up, eager to help.

I felt his warm hands on my back the next instant. Slowly, he lowered the zipper, his fingers timidly following the zipper down the length of my spine before he turned me around. The sensation of spinning around in a man's arms was similar to only an hour before with Edward, yet so different; these weren't the arms I wanted—weren't the arms I craved.

"Bells..." Jake whispered. It felt like an out of body experience. Jake's warm, wet lips met mine with tentative apprehension. We'd been here before, but a year had gone by since our lips had touched.

As soon as contact was made, I froze. Jake pulled me closer but I shot a hand out to his chest to stop him. Being as massive as Jake was, it would probably have made my feeble shoves feel like I was clawing for him. He deepened the kiss as I opened my mouth to tell him to stop. Eventually, he began to slow his frenzy and placed two small pecks on my lips again.

A huge smile lit his face. "Bells..." His grin was plastered on his face like a clown. "_That _should have been our first kiss."

Apparently he'd missed my reaction. So I gave him something he wouldn't miss. I hauled my left hand back and slapped him hard across in the jaw. Pain exploded in my hand.

"Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow!" I screamed, hugging my hand tightly to my chest.

He didn't even have the decency to wince. No, he took the hero route. "Oh shit! Are you okay? Is your hand all right?"

"Fuck you, Jacob," I seethed as tears welled in my eyes. "Don't ever kiss me unless I ask you to!" I watched as his eyes widened and guilt spread across his face.

"I'm sorry, Bells," he said, reaching into the cooler for some ice and pressing it into my palm. "It isn't broken, is it?" he asked.

"I don't know!" I yelled in frustration. I'd never had a broken bone before. He took my fingers and curled them around the ice.

"It doesn't seem to hurt to bend your fingers, so you didn't break your hand at least. It probably just smarts a lot." Huffing, I yanked my hand away from him. I really wanted to hit him again, but instead I just spun around and marched back to the bathroom.

cS-Cs

"Bells," a deep voice broke through my restless sleep. I tried to turn my head in the other direction to see if it would help the voice to go away, but I had no such luck. "Bells." That was Jake's voice. _Jake? What in the hell is he doing in my room?_ I sat up suddenly, glancing around the unfamiliar room. It all came rushing back to me: the confession, the fight with Edward, the glorious goodbye sex...and leaving. Fresh tears sprung to my eyes and I dropped my face to my hands.

Jake rubbed circles on my back in a reassuring and kind gesture. "I'm sorry I had to wake you, Bells, but I need to get you to the airport."

The airport. Crap. I had a flight in a couple of hours. I began to scoot off the bed but stopped suddenly. "No, Edward might come looking for me there, and I really don't want to see him again," I said, shaking my head. Jake raised his eyebrow and studied me curiously for a moment.

"I'm not a relationship expert or anything, but you two are really going to have to deal with this." My eyes flashed to his and he held up his hands in surrender.

"There is no us anymore. He didn't want the baby and I left. That much wasn't obvious before you kissed me?" I asked in frustration. Jake had the decency to look away sheepishly. I guess he was beginning to realize that even if Edward and I weren't together, he didn't have a shot. Especially not now.

"I'm really sorry, Bells," he said. "I really am. Do you want to just drive back to Seattle with me?"

Surprised, my eyes flickered over his face for a moment as I considered the offer. Though the idea of sitting in a car for a twenty hour drive didn't seem the least bit appealing, I slowly nodded. Edward wouldn't be able to get to me that way—if he was even trying to get to me at all. Part of me hoped that he would just give me the peace and space I needed, but a bigger part of me really hoped that he would come fighting for me. For us.

"Okay, then," Jake said with a soft grin. "I have everything ready, since I was just going to head out after dropping you at the airport. I guess we can just leave now."

I had already gotten redressed after my shower, so I was all ready to go. I paused at the mirror by the door on my way out. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy from crying. Pulling my dark sunglasses out of my bag, I shielded my eyes from the world and made my way out into the sunlight to Jake's car.

Hopefully, I wouldn't have to add car sickness to the light morning sickness I'd been experiencing. I'm sure Jake wouldn't want my puke all over his car.

cS-Cs

We made it back to Seattle two days later. Jake drove me straight to Tom's beautiful ocean-side home, where Ben was waiting for me. It felt so wonderful to be wrapped up in his strong, protective arms.

He'd been filled in on the whole situation as Jake and I had driven back from Chicago. Ben informed me that Edward hadn't called him, which was surprising. Maybe Edward wasn't coming for me after all. The thought stung, yet I knew it was probably the reality of the situation. He was too angry and bitter—too resentful—to accept the reality of the situation and take responsibility for our child.

Ben and Tom had insisted that I move in there so I'd be close throughout my pregnancy. Luckily, my apartment had sold almost immediately and Ben and I had spent an entire day packing up all of my things before the moving company came to collect them.

Adele's voice rang out through the room, alerting me to an incoming call. _Rose._ Alice and Rosalie had each been calling me non-stop since I left Chicago two weeks ago. They must've heard the news of my leaving Edward from their respective boyfriend and fiancé. I ignored the call and went back to unpacking my belonging in the guesthouse of Tom's home.

Moments later, my phone chimed again, registering a new voicemail. I picked it up and pressed the play button. Most of the messages from Alice and Rosalie had been sad, begging me to call them, saying they were sorry that Edward and I had broken up and that they'd be there for me. None of them had mentioned the baby at all.

_"Bella,"_ Rose's voice resounded in my ear. _"I spoke to Edward a few minutes ago and he told me... I can't believe you would do that to him. He loved you, Bella. Was Jacob there for you when Edward wasn't? I just... I don't understand. I thought I knew you."_

As the message ended, I slowly pulled the phone away from my ear and stared down at it in disbelief. _What. The. Hell?_ Jacob? Had Edward been telling people that Jake was the reason I left? Confusion radiated through me.

I threw the phone down on the bed before letting out an angry scream. It echoed around the walls of the little house as tears rushed over the brims of my eyes. Defeated, I sank to the floor, curling up into a ball and crying until I fell into a restless sleep.

cS-Cs

"Mr. Brightside"

EPOV

_Pregnant?_ She couldn't be pregnant. We'd always used protection. Even though the rational part of my mind knew that any birth control was fallible, I refused to believe that I had some kind of super-sperm that had worked their way out of a fucking prophylactic. No chance. With my head in my hands, I racked my brain for a time when we hadn't used one, but I couldn't think of any. We'd been so safe.

Even though Bella began to pack her bag, I knew that this fight was far from over. Next week, I'd be in Seattle with her and I'd make her see things my way. There was no way in hell that the Bella _I knew_ could want this...baby. She seemed to be more against having kids than even I was. Or, at least I'd thought that. Bella had always been so career-oriented, even giving me a warning about not making her choose between me and her writing. A kid would definitely get in the way. I didn't understand why there was a sudden disconnect in her head.

Yet, there she was, ignoring everything I'd just said about wanting her to get rid of the problem so we didn't have to deal with it. Hell, it wasn't that she _had _to have an abortion. Giving the kid up for adoption would have been fine, I guess. But then she'd said that she wouldn't ask me for anything? She was really planning on raising it?

I shuddered internally at the thought. If that was where Bella wanted to take this, then she'd be doing it without me. But, I was still certain that I'd be able to convince her otherwise.

When she ran into the bathroom, I felt the physical wall that divided us as though it had been built right against my heart. The pain of separation was already evident in my chest. I had to be with her. _What am I doing?_

I rushed into the bathroom after her, catching her just as she stepped under the spray of the shower. Expecting her to scream and yell, or even hit me and demand that I leave, I was surprised when she pressed her lips against mine urgently. My desperate need for her drove me as I fucked her there in the shower. I poured myself into her, hoping and praying that she'd come to her senses. I couldn't lose her.

As soon as I carried her to the bed and we collapsed together in a tangle of limbs and heavy breathing, I felt the alcohol darkening my senses. Numbing me. Only, at that moment, that was the thing I didn't want. I wanted to be aware of everything that Bella was doing; I wanted to fight this thing out until she understood why we couldn't have a child.

But sleep overtook me.

When I awoke, what felt like only minutes later, the room was eerily still; there was no evidence of Bella's deep, even breathing which had become white noise that I slept to in the past year of being beside her. I jumped up from the bed, in spite of the spinning room—or my spinning head, rather—and ran to the window. Throwing open the curtains, I spotted her below, dragging her suitcase behind. And there was Black as well, handing her a cigarette he'd just been taking a drag from and loading her luggage into his stupid new car. That motherfucker was taking her away from me!

This moment was strangely similar to the first morning I'd woken up without my Bella beside me—that first night I'd made love to her. She was an expert of sneaking out of my goddamn rooms while I slept. _Fuck!_ We were _not_ done here!

I quickly pulled on my pants after finding them balled up on the bathroom floor, and shrugged into a T-shirt. Thankfully, I'd given in and bought those stupid guy sandals that Bella had insisted on over the hot summer months, and I slipped them on quickly before running out after her.

By the time I made it out to the sidewalk, they were gone. I knew they would be. And that goddamn cigarette was still burning where she'd discarded it on the sidewalk. Frustrated, I crushed the thing with my shoe before hailing a taxi. I knew the motel where the roadies were staying—and that Jake was staying there too.

As the taxi pulled to a stop in the parking lot, it didn't take me long to figure out which room they were staying in. The curtains had been left wide open. The moment he began to slide the zipper down her back, I knew. I didn't even have to witness the way he turned her around and kissed her to know that Bella and I were finished.

"Go!" I barked out hoarsely at the cabbie as my voice cracked. "Drive! Go!" I couldn't look for another moment. It was killing me inside. A sob ripped through my chest as the tires screeched beneath us and we tore out of the parking lot. I dropped my head to my hands as cry after cry spilled from me.

"Are you okay, dude?" the driver asked me hesitantly. My wet, angry eyes snapped to his in the rearview mirror. Hurt and rage boiled in my veins like a venom.

"She's been fucking him."

cS-Cs

_Los Angeles_

"So, are you ready to tell me what happened, Edward?" Esme coaxed gently, rubbing light circles on the back of my neck in that motherly way of hers. I'd been back at their house for a week now without any contact from Bella. Each day was like a punch in my gut. And even though I could have easily picked up the phone to call her, my pride got the better of me. Instead, I'd been spending my nights getting drunk off my ass and floating on a smoky ganja cloud.

I shrugged Esme's hand off my shoulder and pushed away from the table, leaving the fluffy egg white omelet barely touched. Today would have been the day that my Bella flew into LAX. I would've been all ready to pick her up from the airport. We would have had such a fucking epic road trip up the Pacific Coast Highway, driving throughout the day with the top down in my Candy Apple Red 1968 red Mustang convertible, and making love in whatever beach motel we happened upon at night. Yes, it would have been perfect to come home...home to Seattle...and start a new life together.

"I'm going out," I told Esme as I threw on my leather jacket and rushed toward the door. I almost knocked Carlisle over in my haste, but he managed to jump out of my way. I hopped in the car and pealed out of the gravel driveway as bits of rock and dust flew up under my tires. After I had escaped the hidden drive, I tore down Beverly Glen at a pace definitely not suitable for the crowded streets of L.A.

When I got to Ventura, I called the first person that came up in my phone. My publicist had called earlier in the day, wondering about when I'd be available to do an interview with _People Magazine _and whether or not I had any interest in flying out to New York with the band for a segment on the _Today Show_. I hit send when the name appeared.

"Tanya Denali," she answered the phone. I'd only met her a few times, but I knew that she was beautiful and fun. Maybe the perfect distraction.

"Hey, Tanya," I said, taking a deep breath. "It's Edward Cullen."

I could hear the smile in her voice as she replied. "Hi, Edward. What can I do for you this evening?"

Swallowing the bile in my throat, I took a deep breath. "Well, I-I'm headed to The Pita Kitchen right now," I said, pulling out the first thing that came to my mind. "I was wondering if you'd want to meet me there. I know it's really close to your office, but if you're busy, I understa—"

"No, no," Tanya cut off my rambling. "I'd love to meet you there. They have the best shawarma in the Valley."

Later that night, drunk and still a little wonky from letting Tanya suck my dick in my parked car right off the Boulevard—though I couldn't get it up to save my life, I thought of dialing Ben. Of course, he'd be on Bella's side of all of this. They had always been like peas in a pod. Instead, I called Emmett. I hadn't told the guys about the pregnancy but neither of them had been extremely happy with me for how Bella and I had ended it. No one knew the truth like I did.

Though I had expected Em to answer, Rose picked up the phone.

"Not interested in talking to you, Edward," she seethed. The woman was lethal.

With a sick, twisted grin, I persisted. "Don't you wanna hear about how she was fucking Jake on the side?" I asked over the line.

Maybe, just maybe, I'd be able to let all of her friends see what she'd done. Maybe then she'd come running back to me when they called her out on it.

Well, it had all made sense in my drunken haze, but neither did I realize how terribly wrong I had been, nor how much further I had just pushed her.

A/N:

**Please forgive me, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stick it out and read Chasing Sparrows.**

**Chasing Sparrows is going to have a happy, fluffy ending, so unlike this one.**

I'm having surgery next week, so there will be no Sparrows post, BUT the following week, there will be! Watch for it!

**Our Caged Skylark playlist:**

-Opener (You Me and Apollo)

-Somebody Told Me (The Killers)

-A Pearl (You Me and Apollo)

-Bulletproof (The Goo Goo Dolls)

-Black Bird (The Beatles)

-15 Step (Radiohead)

-Amigone (The Goo Goo Dolls)

-Closing Time (Semisonic)

-Raise Your Glass (P!nk)

-Smile Like You Mean It (The Killers)

-Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Pat Benetar)

-Chasing Pavements (Adele)

-Give Me Everything (Pitbull, Ne-Yo, etc...)

-All My Life (Foo Fighters)

-White Sky (Vampire Weekend)

-Everlong (Foo Fighters)

-More Than A Feeling (Boston)

-Come On (West Water Outlaws)

-Californication (Red Hot Chili Peppers)

-Sweet Devil Whiskey (Bonnie and the Beard)

-A Matter of Time (The Killers)

-Set Fire to the Rain (Adele)

-Mr. Brightside (The Killers)

**Thank you for all of the reviews! They're so appreciated!**

**_I am donating an O/S to the Fandom for Oklahoma benefit. You'll WANT to read it. Believe me. Benny and Tom and wedding bells, anyone?! GO DONATE!_**

**_Chasing Sparrows teaser:_**

"

I responded to him as though it had been only a handful of days that we'd been apart. He still knew how to play my body as well as he knew his favorite Les Paul. I wondered briefly if he still had that guitar, but my thoughts were quickly interrupted when he brought his lips back to my inner thigh...

"

**Stick it out!**


	23. Epilogue: Kingdom Come

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**This is just the very end of the real epilogue. Please donate to the Fandom for Oklahoma benefit to receive the full epilogue. **

**Remember to add me to your author alerts if you'd like to know when Chasing Sparrows posts. **

Many thanks for the love and support for this story.

"Kingdom Come"

(The Civil Wars)

BPOV

"The baby is going into distress, Bella!" Dr. Snow told me with a worried crease to his brows. "We have to do an emergency Caesarian, or we're risking both of your lives."

I gasped at his words and glanced at Jake, who stood beside me with my leg resting in the crook of his arm. Ben held my other leg, which was firmly planted against his chest. Previous encouragement to push had ceased at the doctor's words, and both men were quickly shoved out of the way as the nurses rushed to get me prepped for surgery.

The next hour was a blur as I was wheeled into an operating room with all its bright lights and sterile instruments, and the doctor cut open my enormous belly. I could see the reflection of my bleeding abdomen through the polished metal surface in the middle of the lamp. I'd never seen intestines before that moment, and despite my drugged state, I clearly studied their bloodiness.

Dr. Snow delivered a very quiet baby girl with red, fuzzy hair, and held her up over the curtain for me to see before handing her off to the nurses. After several agonizingly long minutes of trying to get my blue-tinged daughter to breathe properly, she was placed in a rolling crib and rushed out of the room to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.

"Follow her!" I yelled to Jake as loud as my hoarse, emotion-filled voice would allow. He rushed out after the nurses, wearing the scrubs that he'd changed into.

"She's hemorrhaging and her heart rate is dropping," I heard one of the nurses tell the doctor.

The sounds in the room were becoming faint rumblings and darkness was seeping across the corners of my vision.

"Suction! Now!" the doctor ordered.

"It'll be okay, Baby-B," Ben whispered in my ear.

"Where is she?" I asked before the blackness overtook me.

cS-Cs

My eyes fluttered open and pain radiated through my body. _Ouch._ What in the hell happened?

"Hey, you. How are you feeling?" Ben asked as he stepped into my line of sight. The room was dimly lit and a little blurry. I couldn't speak because of my parched mouth but I shook my head instead. He offered a small smile and shrugged. "I'll tell you what happened later, but would you like to meet her now?" I nodded with as much strength as I could muster, and Ben lifted a little bundle of pink blankets from a crib beside me. "Here she is, Baby-B," he said as love and pride shown through his eyes.

I allowed him to place the blanket-wrapped baby against my chest and I studied my brand new daughter. My heart soared with love and pride so instantly that my eyes welled with tears. She was breathtaking.

"Did you decide what to call her?" Ben and I had been talking about names for ages, though I kept insisting on waiting until after the birth to decide.

Wetting my lips, I nodded and spoke softly, "Agnes, after Grandma Swan, and Elizabeth for Edwa—for _his_ side."

"Agnes is kind of an old lady's name, isn't it, B?" Ben asked with a snort, but smiled down at the baby and me. "Ag-nes," he said, letting it play on his tongue. "Maybe I'll just call her Nessa."

I liked the sound of it. _Nessa._

"Nessa Beth." It was perfect—she was perfect.

A/N: Caged Skylark was about selfishness and pain, but Chasing Sparrows is about redemption and freedom. I do hope you continue on the journey with me.

See you in two weeks!

Please read Dear Bella by lellabeth, you'll love it!


	24. SEQUEL TIME

**Sequel alert!**

**Chasing Sparrows is now up! **

**Go to my profile to find and read it!**


	25. Outtake

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Just a tiny little outtake that I wrote for The Lemonade Stand's flashfic this week.

**Enjoy. See you for the next chapter of Chasing Sparrows this week. ****Make sure to follow that story so you don't miss the sequel!**

"Fallen" (Sarah McLachlan)

_What am I supposed to do?_

The room spins around me and my head matches the revolutions in a sickening, dizzying whirl. _How did I let this get so messed up?_ I sat by, idly watching as the control I once had slipped right between my fingers and I just...allowed it. I permitted him to speak to me that way. I accepted the ache inside of myself and ran away. I signed off on my own downfall instead of fighting back.

Now, Rose truly believes that I'd been fucking Jake, and apparently Edward does as well. How can anyone believe that when I had _him_—the highest and most powerful of all sexual deities—at my fingertips? Edward's life and mine have been intertwined by the fates, spun on the thread that held my entirety. It would seem, now, that the cotton has been cut as my world unravels around me.

My stomach lurches and my vision blurs in the twisting room and I slip off the chair, falling to my knees before the garbage can just in time to empty the contents of my stomach. Over and over, I heave until there is nothing left for me to surrender. The pain serves as a reminder of why I'm doing this; why I've made these choices, but also a reminder of just how lost I really am.

But then Ben opens the door, knocking lightly before he steps inside. As I fall into the strong arms of my best friend, sobbing in frustration, I remind myself that I haven't lost yet. No. The battle has just begun.

**A/N: **

**Thanks everyone! **

**Make sure to check out the sequel, Chasing Sparrows!**


End file.
